| Sept. 29, 2002 Man, I don't even know where to start this. But I'll try. A couple of days ago, at the forum I used to frequent, I was taken to task for making a comment about sitting next to a man of size. I never said F word (fat), and I was clear that my issue was not his size, but rather the fact that I was squished into my seat with our bodies touching all the way from knees to shoulders. For me, it was the itimate factor - no one touches me that way except my husband. But, that comment was used to further a vendetta against me by a forum member (and former friend) who I had to discipline as head of the mentor unit. She practically flaunted breaking the rules in my face and it put me in a sensitive position as her friend and as the mentor unit administrator. Nonetheless, the rules applied the same to her as it did to others. Fair is fair. Even so, I didn't boot her out like I would the others - she merely received a reprimand. When I took action against her I received the most hate-filled letter I have ever received - yammering on about how I thought I was better than others now that I am of normal weight, how I step on people when they are down, and how I have forgotten what it's like to be overweight. I was stunned at the visciousness of the letter, and have to admit I responded with angry words. Since then I have kept my distance as we all have to cohabit that forum. But she wouldn't let it be. She has indulged in a whispering and smear campaign and never fails to cast innuendo when she posts. Petty and childish, but totally understandable - For one thing, she and I started WW at the same time, and she's frittered around with the program resulting in little weight loss (comparatively). In the meantime I have forged ahead, and once, when we were friends she even told me she was jealous of me. If she only knew my past she would know there is NOTHING to be jealous of. So, when this one thread in question came up, she furthered her cause, making the snowballs and letting others throw them all the while acting Miss Innocent and turning the knife, behind her printed *hugs*.. In that thread she kept on and on about people who make it to goal shouldn't ever be so rude and insensitive as to forget from when they came. She just wouldn't let it go until she had everyone lathered up but good. I kept trying to explain, but she kept twisting my words. Eventually that thread died down, but then a very good buddy of hers started another one - and that one was also filled with venom and hate, no matter how she couched it. It was ugly, and I told them all I was leaving. Curious that that buddy never shows her face at the forum, then flew in like a witch on a broom posting that ugly thread. We haven't seen hide nor tail of her since. Isn't AIM and ICQ a wonderful thing? You can call in the troops when you need help. Then you can make it four on one and fight a fair fight. A few hours later I received an email at my hotmail address. It was the ugliest thing I ever saw - said I was an attention whore, that I thought I was better than anyone else and more ugly stuff. I was stunned and deeply wounded. I determined then and there that that handful of about four people - good "buddies" at the forum were not going to strip me of all I have struggled to gain in my life. So I retreated to a corner, struggling to remain OP and not toss all I have earned. But then all of who and what I am kicked in, and anger grew. I contemplated what kind of people would be like that, and these are the conclusions I have come to: they're jealous - flat out green with jealousy. They see my success and it underlines their sad lack of success. They see that I have a loving, supportive husband, and they do not. They look at the ring my husband got me for losing 75 lbs. and it irks them. They consider all the friends I have in that forum and it highlights their poor, sad, miserable lives. I am everything they are not. I am everything they want to be. They eat themselves to oblivion then begrudge me my success. They wallow in their putrid self-pity. I would hate to be them. Their world must be small and dark. In all truth, I feel great pity. Despite that pity, I have decided that I am not giving them any power. NONE. And so I drafted a letter to my email fan and told her that I will charge her with harassment and stalking, then call her IP provider, then let our site administrator know what she has done. And I mean what I say. I will not run away and hide from scum like that. I will fight. The dolt was silly enough to think that hiding behind YAHOO would give her anonymity. They're always so brave when they think they can't be caught. But what the dimwit didn't know was I was able to trace her IP to Rogers Cable in Canada. I even know what province she lives in. I'm not a reporter of 12 years for nothing. I DO have skills. So, for now I am gathering strength. If they thought I was formidable before, just let them wait. Do they not know that I thrive on adversity and challenge? Do they not know that I refuse to be a victim? They've underestimated me, and so they better watch where they walk. When they least expect it is when I will turn all my information, the saved emails and more over to the right authorities. I'm a BCB buddy, I have strength, conviction and foresight. All they have are their keyboards which become instruments of their self-loathing. All they have is their mirrors which shows the ugliness inside of them. Their time would be better spent pursuing health and happiness. |
   |