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Jeff reviews:

I, Robot

July 25, 2004
2004, 1 hr 45 min., Rated PG-13 for intense stylized action, and some brief partial nudity. Dir: Alex Proyas. Cast: Will Smith (Del Spooner), Bridget Moynahan (Dr. Susan Calvin), Alan Tudyk (Sonny), James Cromwell (Dr. Alfred Lanning), Bruce Greenwood (Lawrence Robertson), Adrian Ricard (Granny), Chi McBride (Lt. John Bergin).

This will be a stream-of-conscience dissection, since I don't want to take a week to finish it like recent reviews. Besides, a popcorn flick like this isn't worth pulling out the psychoanalysis, even if the entire cast tries to do that to Will Smith in I, Robot.

Director Alex Proyas certainly has a pedigree I can appreciate, helming both Dark City and The Crow, two very well done, though dark, movies. I, Robot is a little more slick and glossy than those two, and has a lot more humor between the drama.

The Al Gore Robot 2000X comes complete with a special "sore loser" function.
Set in Chicago, the year 2035, I, Robot straddles the sci-fi line of serious and action-packed, trying to mix Minority Report, AI and The Terminator. In fact, it's more of a close cousin to Short Circuit, not that that's a bad thing. Hilarious flick, still today. If only one of Smith's three-dozen smart aleck comments had been, "your momma was a snowblower!" Then I'd have known for sure.

Unfortunately, bachelor Will Smith can't afford a shower curtain yet robotics expert Bridget Moynahan (The Recruit) has a glass stall full of steam, so there's plenty of naked Smith yet barely a sliver of choice Moynahan skin. Come on, Bridget, do it for the sake of your art!

Well, maybe that wouldn't be the greatest career choice, since she took over Sandra Bullock's roles as the everyday, attractive love interest capable of carrying out some action if necessary. Way back in the early nineties, Jeanne Tripplehorn held that distinction.

I should probably mention now that Smith is a robophobic paranoid cop and the only person on the planet fearful of robots taking over the world. Moynahan is the cold, robotic scientist who begs to differ. Together they save the world. Once she actually develops a heart, lets her hair down and begins to trust Smith.

Oh yeah, and they couldn't have done it without Johnny No. 5 ... er, I mean Sonny, a robot with blue eyes and feelings even Star Trek's Data would covet. You see, Smith needs to realize that a strict anti-robot position should be toned down, and the stiff, emotionless Moynahan needs to see that although all robots are capable of good or bad but in the end are just nuts and bolts, there's one in between worth saving.

Alan Tudyk "plays" Sonny in the same way Andy Serkis was Gollum, acting out the robot, then replaced with digital effects afterwards. If you don't recognize Tudyk's name, he was Steve the pirate in Dodgeball, which had fewer guns but just as much popcorn-flick violence.

Always sinister Bruce Greenwood may or may not be trying to start a worldwide revolution of robots.

The ultimate goal of said revolution is that people can't be trusted to think for themselves, that a government should watch over and control our lives.

I feel this is a good time to bring up that the Democrat National Convention begins Monday.

Some bada** robot versus robot action. Plenty of looks at slick cars, with props to Audi. Even in thirty years, guns still go boom instead of zap.

I'm not sure where the movie got the idea to use children's fable "Hansel and Gretel" when solving the case. I suppose having Smith play Pac-Man all the time to learn to connect the dots would have been sillier.

Like Men in Black, Smith is able to leap buildings, stairs and bridges in single jumps with nary a scratch. He could probably pilot alien spacecraft, too. Good thing he has James Cromwell around with encouragement. "That'll do, Will."

I don't know why everyone is surprised that a computer could turn against its owner. Why do you think when your home PC goes haywire and you have to do a hard-reboot, the screen comes back and blames you for not shutting down properly? These things have a snippy attitude already, let alone when they achieve free will!

I sound flippant, yet wouldn't stand a chance against killer robots. I only made it to round four of the fighting video game in the lobby, barely beating a stinking bear, then losing to a hot chick in tight red cleavage-showing leather. Not that I minded too much.

During the final credits, we read that the movie is "suggested by Isaac Asimov's book." The movie is not even "based on," or "inspired by," both of which usually mean, "loosely based." This tells me that Asimov once mentioned the word "robot" in a book, and the filmmakers ran with the plot from there, no where near what he actually wrote about.

Time to wrap: Decent sci-fi adventure, but nothing particularly memorable. Looks good, I liked all the leads and the effects are spectacular, but the story is so-so and we've been inundated with futuristic machines-will-rule movies lately. I, Robot is worth a matinee at the least.

The verdict:

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