A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | L | M | N | O | P | Q | R | S | T | U | V | W | X | Y | Z |
A
About a Boy
- Delightfully shallow.
About Schmidt
- A fine, fine film.
Adaptation
- A voice over and above.
A.I.
- It's real all right, but real what?
The Alamo
- A treasured piece of Americana.
Alexander
- My Big Fat Greek Tragedy.
Alien vs. Predator
- Whoever wins, we don't care.
Almost Famous
- Almost perfect.
Along Came a Spider
- A sticky web of intrigue and action.
Amelie
- Quirky and cute French import (subtitle warning).
American Beauty
- Eccentric yet engaging. The year's best.
American Pie
- A slice of comedic ambrosia.
American Pie 2
- This summer it's all about getting sloppy together.
American Wedding
- Your basic American love story.
America's Sweethearts
- This nation loves cutesy fluffy romantic comedies.
Analyze That
- I'll vouch for some guffaws.
Analyze This
- Mobsters have feelings too.
Anchorman
- Stay classy, iJeff viewers.
Anger Management
- Mismanaged.
An Ideal Husband
- Not ideal for me. I'm sure it's better on stage.
Antz
- Maybe all Woody Allen films from now on should be animated.
Any Given Sunday
- Stone's newest effort is given to cause headaches and seizures.
The Apostle
- Duvall's never been better.
Arlington Road
- Interesting ending, otherwise so-so.
Austin Powers in Goldmember
- Still shagadelic the third time 'round.
Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me
- Rolling-on-the-floor funny.
The Avengers
- Bad script, bad cast, bad direction, bad editing = Really bad movie.
The Aviator
- Soars.
B
Babe: Pig in the City
- Great visuals but too depressing.
Bad Boys 2
- Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?
Bad Santa
- For goodness' sake, stay away.
Bandits
- Butch and Sundance it ain't.
Barbershop
- A fun cut-up.
Basic
- Neither shocking nor awing.
Batman Begins
- Ever dance with the devil in the pale moon light?
Battlefield Earth
- Travolting.
A Beautiful Mind
- A terrible thing to waste.
Bedazzled
- Sell your soul to Liz.
Behind Enemy Lines
- Formulaic military hero-rah rah.
Being John Malkovich
- Original, inventive...insert 10 other positive adjectives.
Best in Show
- Just don't luuuuuv your pet.
Bewitched
- Magical comedy.
Big Daddy
- Big disappointment. Disturbing more than funny.
Big Fish
- Don't let it be the one that got away.
Black Hawk Down
- Reality was never so real.
The Blair Witch Project
- Not scary, but excellent psychological thriller that will affect filmmaking for the next decade.
Blood Work
- Steady pulse.
Blue Crush
- Surf's up!
Bobby Jones: Stroke of Genius
- Even par.
Boiler Room
- Take stock in the future by seeing this hip film.
Bounce
- A match made in liars heaven.
Bound
- Too bad when even lesbians can't save a film.
The Bourne Identity
- Don't forget this cool spy thriller.
The Bourne Supremacy
- All the makings of a tasty treat.
Bowfinger
- I can't put my finger on it. Yeah, it's funny, but nothing great.
Bridget Jones's Diary
- Signed. Sealed. Delivered. I'm yours, Renee.
Bringing Down the House
- Sublet before buying.
Bringing Out the Dead
- Contains some dead-on characterization.
Brotherhood of the Wolf
- Feed your inner animal.
The Brothers Grimm
- Collected everything but a cohesive story.
Bruce Almighty
- In Jim We Trust.
A Bug's Life
- Disney could make a scab adorable.
Bulletproof Monk
- Fulfills entertainment enlightenment.
The Butterfly Effect
- Dude, where's my memory?
C
Captain Corelli's Mandolin
- Plays your heart strings.
Casino Royale
- Stirring.
Cast Away
- Get away from it all.
Catch Me If You Can
- Catch it, you must.
Celebrity
- Brief scenes of genius, otherwise tedious.
The Cell
- Mind over matter.
Charlie's Angels
- I've seen a piece of what heaven has to offer.
Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle
- Stuck in the wrong gear.
Charlotte Gray
- Embattled.
Chicago
- Razzle-Dazzled me.
Chicken Run
- A clucking good time.
Chocolat
- Sensually sweet.
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
- A bundle of entertainment.
The Chronicles of Riddick
- A Necromonger of a good time.
Cinderella Man
- No glass jaw for Jim Braddock.
City by the Sea
- Comes at you in waves.
A Civil Action
- A little long, but worth a matinee viewing.
Cold Mountain
- Too depressing? Fiddle-dee-dee!
Collateral
- And you thought taxis were just dangerously smelly.
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind
- Say seven Hail Marys and whack a Commie in the morning.
Confidence
- It's about playing it cool, man.
Constantine
- Hellishly entertaining.
Contact
- Definitely not a waste of space.
The Count of Monte Cristo
-
Fine escapism (literally and figuratively).
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
- Oriental epic that kicks some tail.
Cruel Intentions
- Women kiss. Need I say more?
D
Daredevil
- Sinfully enjoyable.
Dark Blue
- Black and blue.
Dick
- Good support unable to make up for inane lead characters.
Die Another Day
- Nearly dead in the water.
The Dish
- Relays the cute back story during one of mankind's greatest achievements.
Dodgeball
- Don't duck away from it.
Dogma
- Humorous, repetitive, elightening, drab. I can't make up my mind.
Double Jeopardy
- Answer: A movie that has no IQ requirement to enjoy. Question: What is Double Jeopardy?
Down With Love
- Not up for it.
Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas
- I hate to be a grinch, but I was disappointed.
Driven
- Stalled in the pits.
The Dukes of Hazzard
- Careens out of control.
E
EDtv
- Truman Show stole its thunder.
Eight Below
- Doggies!
8 Mile
- Joyless, yet well made.
8 Women
- Toss out the Y chromosome and things get unhinged.
Election
- My vote for most intelligent teen comedy ever.
Elektra
- Kickin' it new school.
Elf
- 'Tis the season to be jolly.
Elizabeth
- Absolutely stunning portrayal of a young Queen Elizabeth I.
Elizabethtown
- Quarterlife Crisis.
End of Days
- Some days it's fun to watch an Arnold action flick.
Enemy at the Gates
- Worth a shot.
Enemy of the State
- Too fast. Gave me a headache.
Entrapment
- Felt trapped in my seat in this dull caper picture.
Equilibrium
- When freedom is outlawed, only guys with super martial arts skills and guns will have freedom.
Erin Brockovich
- Pretty woman wins a civil action.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
- Unforgettable.
Evolution
- Loses out in the survival of the funniest.
Eye of the Beholder
- Behold mediocrity.
Eyes Wide Shut
- My eyes were shut and my mouth wide open (snoring).
F
Fever Pitch
- Down the middle.
50 First Dates
- I love Drew over and over and over and over and over again.
Fight Club
- Knockout film that deters, not inspires, violence with stunning visuals and pulsating soundtrack.
Finding Forrester
- Find your inspiration.
Finding Neverland
- Clap if you believe magical movies still exist!
Forces of Nature
- Nothing forced about the draw of Affleck and Bullock.
For Love of the Game
- Great baseball scenes, dull love story.
The 40 Year-Old Virgin
- Even better the second time.
The Four Feathers
- Ordinary, so it won't ruffle your feathers.
Freddy vs. Jason
- They slice! They dice! They chop through teens in one fell swoop!
Frequency
- Tune in to an interesting concept.
G
Galaxy Quest
- Succeeds by going where few have gone before.
Gangs of New York
- Don't fughedaboutit.
Garden State
- Quarterlife Crisis.
The General's Daughter
- By-the-book thriller.
Ghost World
- So in that it's cool, but not for me.
The Gift
- Return it.
Gladiator
- Unleash a kickass flick.
Go!
- Four stars means you should Go see it.
Gods and Generals
- History tastes great, script less filling.
Gods and Monsters
- Ian McKellan gives an Oscar-worthy performance.
The Good Girl
- Good girl makes bad choices.
Gosford Park
- Stuffy to a fault.
The Great Raid
- Indeed, it was.
The Green Mile
- Miraculous.
Guess Who
- This cracker laughed.
Gunner Palace
- Thought-provoking documentary.
H
Hannibal
- It's what's for dinner.
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
- An open book.
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
- Magic works.
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
- Entertainus maximus.
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
- Tricks a treat.
Hearts in Atlantis
- A modest, genuine mystery.
Heist
- Crooked script with Cool crooks.
Hellboy
- On fire for the spawn.
Hero
- You'll be hungry for more in an hour.
High Fidelity
- In tune with romantic comedy.
A History of Violence
- Pacificism is for dead people.
Hitch
- Cure for the common Jeff.
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
- 42 thumbs up.
Hollywood Homicide
- It'll make a killing.
The Hours
- Can you feel it?
House of Flying Daggers
- Sharp.
The Hulk
- Jeff no like. Jeff smash!
I
Identity
- Shh. It's a secret.
The Importance of Being Earnest
- A Wilde ride.
In and Out
- Not a terrible rental.
In the Bedroom
- A serious drama for serious times.
Inside Man
- A Spike Lee joint. Without the joints.
The Insider
- My sources tell me that it is a great film.
Instinct
- Gooding, Jr. and Hopkins make it worthwhile if you avoid your instinct to skip the film.
Intolerable Cruelty
- Love. Honor. Obey.
I, Robot
- I, Don't Care.
The Iron Giant
- I thought everyone wanted family-oriented films? Then go see this film, dagummit!
The Island
- Bay being Bay.
The Italian Job
- Not much brain work. In a good way.
J
Jarhead
- A Scud.
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
- Snootchie bootchie good time.
Jurassic Park 3
- Heh heh, people getting bitten in half are cool.
K
K 19: The Widowmaker
- Submerged without sympathy.
Keeping the Faith
- A priest, a rabbi and a blonde make a charming movie...
Kill Bill, Vol. 1
- A revenge movie is best served cold-hearted.
Kill Bill Vol. 2
- Wows us with flash.
King Arthur
- Gather 'round.
King Kong
- Tons of action but focus on the drama.
A Knight's Tale
- I weighed it, I measured it, and I did not find it wanting.
Knockaround Guys
- Takes a lickin'.
K-PAX
- Your task is to ride the light to the theater.
L
The Ladykillers
- Slay 'em with style.
The Last Castle
- Worth a salute.
The Last Samurai
- Honorable.
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
- Ordinary.
The Legend of Bagger Vance
- Redford a natural at sports drama.
Les Miserables
- I need to hear the music!
The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou
- More Bill, more better.
Life Is Beautiful
- Helps make life worth living.
Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
- One movie to bind us all.
The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
- My precious!
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
- Towers over the rest.
Lord of War
- Shoots from the hip.
Lost in Translation
- Once was lost, but now am found.
Love Actually
- Disappointing, actually.
M
Magnolia
- You can't help but watch when things "happen."
The Majestic
- Just doesn't feel grander than life.
Man on the Moon
- Carrey's stock rises, movie shines as a beacon of joy.
The Man Who Wasn't There
- The pacing that wasn't there.
March of the Penguins
- The coldest movie with the warmest heart.
The Mask of Zorro
- Unmasking a fine actress, Catherine Zeta-Jones.
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
- A sea worthy expedition.
The Matador
- Didn't feel like charging the film's red cape.
Matchstick Men
- A good movie, and that's no swindle.
The Matrix
- The kickin' booty movie of the year!
The Matrix Reloaded
- Being The One ain't all it's cracked up to be.
The Matrix Revolutions
- For entertainment purposes only.
Meet Joe Black
- One shocking scene makes it worth the money. 3 hours too long otherwise.
Meet the Parents
- Meet embarrassment.
Men in Black 2
- Hard to make 'it' look good twice.
The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc
- This movie spoke to me, and fortunately I was listening to the message.
Minority Report
- A sometimes troubled vision.
Miracle
- I still believe.
Mission: Impossible 2
- Cruise control.
The Missing
- Find it.
Mission to Mars
- Whew! This movie reeks. You gotta go see it!
Mr. and Mrs. Smith
- Until attempted murder do us part.
Memento
- Don't forget to catch this gem.
The Mexican
- Viva la Brad y Julia!
Monsters, Inc.
- Boo-yeah!
Moonlight Mile
- Not typical, but the same.
Moulin Rouge
- It cancan seduce you.
The Mummy
- Won't bring back the dead, but fun two hours.
The Mummy Returns
- Raising old-style B movies from the dead.
The Musketeer
- All for one, and one for some.
My Big Fat Greek Wedding
- Approved by the gods
Mystery Men
- Not even Underdog can save this super-dud.
N
Napoleon Dynamite
- I'll see whatever I want! Gosh!
National Treasure
- Brought to you by the National Archives, who would like you to know that it's not really that easy to steal historical documents.
The Nativity Story
- THE Christmas Story.
Never Been Kissed
- Love ya Drew, but physical comedy is not your style.
Not Another Teen Movie
- Another stupid teen movie.
Notting Hill
- Hugh, Julia fall in love. No big whoop.
Nurse Betty
- Prescription for accolades.
O
O Brother Where Art Thou
- The best film of 2000.
Ocean's 11
- I'm in.
Ocean's 12
- One heist to rule them all.
Old School
- You don't have to be a frosh to enjoy sophomoric humor.
Once Upon a Time in Mexico
- Ole!
One Day in September
- It's all real.
One Hour Photo
- Creepy.
Open Range
- I reckon you ought to see this fine Western.
The Others
- You think you know, but you don't know. You know?
Out of Sight
- Jennifer Lopez. Wowza!
P
The Patriot
- Not revolutionary, but worth the price, taxes (with representation) included.
Payback
- Root for the bad guy, but wait 'til VHS.
Pay It Forward
- It's good, pass it on.
Pearl Harbor
- Nothing sneaky about it, this one tries to blow you away.
The Perfect Storm
- Into each life a 100-foot wave must fall.
The Phantom of the Opera
- Like, whatever.
Phone Booth
- Take the aisle down the center.
Pi
- Still gives me nightmares, and not in a good way.
The Pianist
- A well done, if difficult to see, film.
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
- Yo-ho-ho, a pirate movie is for me!
Pitch Black
- Darkness, murder and aliens, oh my!
Planet of the Apes
- A lot of monkey business.
Pleasantville
- Enchanting tale.
The Prince of Egypt
- Animation, movie and soundtrack are all phenomenal.
The Producers
- Ven you got it, flaunt it (less than this, though).
Proof of Life
- Livin' la vida loca.
Psycho
- Why!?
Punch-Drunk Love
- A sometimes splendid thing.
Pushing Tin
- Lot of stars who didn't even try to push the limits of acting.
Q
R
Rat Race
- Overcooked.
The Recruit
- I'm a scary judge of movie talent.
The Red Violin
- Why Independent movies are made.
Reign of Fire
- Summer fire that pops the popcorn flick.
Reindeer Games
- The joys of Christmas: robbery, casinos and using people with sex.
Road to Perdition
- On the right path.
Road Trip
- Stalled comedy.
Ronin
- Action not bad. Motley crew of actors a plus.
The Rookie
- Slowed down with age.
The Royal Tenenbaums
- Fit for a king.
Rules of Engagement
- Follows the rules (i.e. cliches) of military drama.
Runaway Jury
- Runaway hippies.
The Rundown
- Your options are limited.
Run Lola Run
- The filmmakers take the intense energy and style and run with it in this uber-cool flick.
Rush Hour
- Enjoyable buddy picture.
Rush Hour 2
- Me love them long time.
Rushmore
- Wickedly worth every penny. Bill Murray deserved a nomination for Best Supporting Actor.
S
The Santa Clause 2
- Jolly good time.
Scary Movie
- I see funny people.
School of Rock
- Class in session.
The Score
- Interesting in parts. Just not enough of them.
The Scorpion King
- So shall it B the people's movie.
Scream 3
- Do you like scary movies? Then why see the Scream franchise?
Seabiscuit
- A day at the races where everyone wins.
Secondhand Lions
- Firsthand disappointment.
Serenity
- Tranquillity.
Shaft
- I can dig it.
Shakespeare in Love
- How do I love thee?
Shallow Hal
- Careful not to gorge yourself on sweets.
Shanghai Knights
- A real bobby dazzler.
Shanghai Noon
- There's laughs in them thar hills.
Shopgirl
- Single is as single does.
Showtime
- Exit, stage right.
Shrek
- Once upon a time there was a fun movie...
Shrek 2
- Green with funny.
Sideways
- Goes down easy.
The Siege
- Audience under siege. Run!
Signs
- Swings away.
A Simple Plan
- Nothing simple about this intense movie.
Sin City
- Grand Theft Awesome!
The 6th Day
- Brave old world.
61*
- Plenty of room in this one for two heroes.
The Sixth Sense
- "Fantastically creepy! One of year's best!"
Sleepy Hollow
- Director Burton headed in the right direction.
Snatch
- A grab bag of entertainment.
Solaris
- Creepily lovely.
Something's Gotta Give
- Oldest battle there is, between the sexes.
South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut
- Shockingly, grotesquely, laugh-out-loud funny.
Space Cowboys
- The right stuff (for the first 2/3, at least).
The Spanish Prisoner
- Better than expected. Steve Martin proves he has range.
Spider-Man
- With great stories come great responsibilities.
Spider-Man 2
- A tangled web.
Spy Game
- He shoots, he scores!
Starsky & Hutch
- An easy ride in Bay City.
Star Trek: Insurrection
- It's an odd Star Trek. Uh-oh.
Star Trek: Nemesis
- Set phasers on 'blah'.
Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace![](graphics/stars-4-5.gif)
Do I really have to explain? ... Star Wars Episode 1 standing-in-line journal - 12 hours! We rule!
Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones
- Lucas can't clone magic.
Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
- End of an era.
Stealth
- It may not be easy or straightforward but it is lucid, searching and anything but hollow. *snicker*
The Straight Story
- A straight and narrow film that spans the ages.
Stuck on You
- Attached at the funny bone.
Summer Catch
- Strike out.
Summer of Sam
- More like summer, fall, winter, spring, summer again, zzzzz.
The Sum of All Fears
- Doesn't add up.
S.W.A.T.
- In and out without a scratch.
Sweet Home Alabama
- "Where the skies are so blue."
T
The Talented Mr. Ripley
- More than a talented cast makes this a memorable trip to Italy.
Tarzan
- Best animated Disney film since The Lion King.
10 Things I Hate About You
- Under 20? Go see it. Over 20? Don't bother.
The Terminal
- A pleasant layover.
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines
- It's the end of the world, as we know it, and I feel fine.
Thank You For Smoking
- Blows smoke rings around Hollywood.
The Thin Red Line
- "Gore Vidal Goes to War." Just say no.
Thirteen Days
- A little slow, but it gets the point across.
The Thirteenth Floor
- Decent sci-fi.
The 13th Warrior
- Entertaining turn of the millenium (meaning 1,000 years ago) sorcery and swashbuckling tale.
The Thomas Crown Affair
- Have to crown the original King.
Three Kings
- Ushering in a new golden age of great filmmaking
3000 Miles to Graceland
- You'd think Sex, Drugs and Elvis would leave me craving more. You'd think.
The Time Machine
- Why can't you change the past?
Tomb Raider
- Jolie shows off her big guns.
Tomb Raider 2
- Jolie opened up Pandora's Box, and let everything out.
Toy Story 2
- Playing with my past.
Traffic
- I'm high on believing that this is a film for the ages.
The Transporter
- Where do you want to kick tail today?
Trekkies
- Some people deserve to be laughed at.
Troy
- Homeric.
The Tuxedo
- Doesn't fit.
200 Cigarettes
- New Year's Eve was never so dull.
U
U-571
- Not a lot of depth, but plenty of charge.
Unbreakable
- You must see it. It's unpreventable.
Underworld
- The blood-sucking movie of the year!
V
Van Helsing
- Too much suckitude.
Vertical Limit
- Taken to the limit of your imagination.
A Very Long Engagement
- A marriage of style and substance.
The Village
- Who's afraid of big red riding hoodlum?
W
Walking Tall
- Revenge is a dish best served with the side of a 2X4.
Walk the Line
- It burns, burns, burns.
War of the Worlds
- Close Enounters of the "Doomed!" Kind.
The Waterboy
(with SW Episode 1 trailer premier!) - For Sandler fans only.
Wedding Crashers
- I take thee comedy for better and funnier ...
We Were Soldiers
- A fight for sore eyes.
What Dreams May Come
- Interesting tale of the after-life with dark and colorful brushstrokes.
What Lies Beneath
- Quietly addictive.
What Women Want
- I'm sorry, what did you say?
Wild Wild West
- You'd think for $100 million+ they could afford a decent script.
Windtalkers
- Unfortunately told in an all too familiar code.
Wing Commander
- The $4.95 effects budget had to have been bought through QVC.
The World is Not Enough
- Ocre. Medi-ocre.
X
The X-Files
- For fans only.
X-Men
- X doesn't quite mark the spot.
X2
- X-citing.
XXX
- Extreme!
Y
You've Got Mail
- They get mail, we get cliches
Z