Surprisingly, the tagline for The Nativity Story is not "Inspired by true events."

Instead, the tagline is "Her child would change the world."

BOR-ing!

Posters for a movie based on Suri Cruise could say the same thing! How about something a little more enticing, such as, "Eternity's a long time. Better get in good with the baby born in this film." Or, "Watch because there could be a quiz when you get to the pearly gates."

Maybe such banality is why the film finished fourth in its first week of release, as opposed to The Passion of the Christ, which made approximately $1 billion the first three days Mel Gibson's controversial movie came out.

	"Are we even allowed to ground the Savior for not eating his vegetables?"

Perhaps the movie is too sweet, too syrupy, too greeting card, too good for Christian audiences that flocked to see Jesus flogged.

If only director Catherine Hardwicke had spiced things up. You know, baby Jesus flies up and smites King Herrod with laser beam eyes, or it turns out Mary was eating ham when the angel Gabriel came to her in a vision.

Or, considering Hardwicke's previous directorial work consists of Lords of Dogtown and Thirteen, Mary is a precocious 'Tween and Joseph is a skater punk on the wrong side of the tracks, and well, let's just say that their parents are non too pleased when she's pregnant and "I don't care if He's THE Savior, you are NOT raising Him with that boy!"

No, I didn't go to church Sunday, why do you ask?

Seriously, though, why aren�t Christians organizing church outings to see The Nativity Story like they did for Passion? Is it the controversy? Were Christians more apt to support the latter because it was attacked by liberals, the mainstream media (but I repeat myself) and anti-Christians?

Historical-based movies usually have me coming home and Googling the true story behind the film. When I saw The Nativity Story I thought, "I should look that up," and then I thought, "Uh, oh yeah, I can just read the Bible."

I told you, I didn�t get to church this Sunday. I had to work, okay?

No, I didn�t go last week, either, when I was working the evening shift. Let�s move on.

As I was saying, the film follows the Biblical Christmas story we�re familiar with true and straight, focusing on the year before Jesus� birth, following Mary (Keisha Castle-Hughes) and Joseph from Nazareth to Bethlehem.

The dialogue is without irony, explanation or rationale for an angel visiting Mary, Joseph and the shepherds, or Zechariah losing his voice as Elizabeth (Shohreh Aghdashloo, who is always like royalty) became pregnant. These things don�t need to be explained, only believed.

This was both refreshing and disquieting at the same time. Refreshing in that when the first teasers for Nativity Story came out, I was panicked that Hollywood would try to �modernize� the story by implying that Mary wasn�t a virgin, or that her child just happened to be born at the right time and the right place and hey, can we throw in a random fight scene?

This was in turn disquieting in that it�s so strange to see the Christian story portrayed so vividly, honestly and without tricks. That was a bit of a negative, too, because the production is decent, but really Nativity Story looks one step up from a movie made for TBN and a step below a major Hollywood production.

Okay, so the use of the Three Wise Men as comedic relief is odd, but at least it adds some humor to a movie that's filmed much of the time in a gray sheen.

For those who pay attention to this element of moviemaking, the music is a plus. The choice of using a rendition of familiar Christmas carols, especially "Carol of the Bells" while Joseph frantically searches for somewhere to have the baby in Bethlehem, is ingenious. As the movie begins, "O Come Emanuel" is understated and lovely, and as the film closes, "Silent Night" is a tender inspiration.

Now, if only Christians would support a movie that is both touching and genuine, they would discover that once in a great while, even a secular embarrassment like Hollywood can be redeemed, which is pretty much what Christmas is about, am I right?

The verdict: