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Jeff reviews:

Bulletproof Monk

April 18, 2003
2003, 1 hr 45 min., Rated PG-13 for violence, language and some sexual content.�Dir: Paul Hunter. Cast: Chow Yun-Fat (Monk With No Name), Seann William Scott (Kar), James King (Jade/Bad Girl), Karel Roden (Strucker), Victoria Smurfit (Nina).

What about the title, Bulletproof Monk? Someone had to think long and hard about that, and marketing focus-grouped it like crazy, finally declaring that it works. Maybe Super Slow-Motion Buddhist was taken by the folks who brought us Iron Monkey.

Then they had to wonder, who should star in such a vehicle? How about Chow Yun-Fat, who already has fantastical action martial arts cred in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon? His partner? Hmmmmm, how about that dude who got his prostate massaged to fill his sperm bank cup in Road Trip, also known as Stiffler from the American Pie flicks? Rad!

There's some sort of plot involving an all-powerful scroll that, if revealed, will give the person who reads it ultimate power. Nazis. I hate these guys. In 1943 they try to take it from Chow Yun-Fat, the fighting monk in Tibet entrusted as the scroll's keeper.

Fast forward to 2003, Fat is in L.A. and has a feeling that Seann William Scott, while an undisciplined youth with a knack for pickpocketing and learning martial arts from working at a Chinese theater, may be the next protector.

There's this strange underworld gang near the beginning, headed by homoerotic Brit (same thing?), Mister Funkmaster, that seems to live every day like a Smirnoff Ice commercial with parties in subway cars. Still, the scene proves a point, and thankfully doesn't return once the movie establishes what we should know.

Like I said, some sort of plot. You know, if the scroll is really all that troubling to humanity, why not just destroy it and save everyone the trouble? But then we wouldn't have a story for Scott (brave and stupid) and Fat (enlightened with unintelligible English) to be new pals, a Nazi determined to rule the world and Jade (James King, Pearl Harbor), the hero sweetheart for Scott to fall in lust.

Sure, the flick is just trying to cash in on upcoming Matrix fever (May 15 at a theater near me!), but for what is, Bulletproof Monk fulfills the prophecy that sayeth, "Thou shall find merriment in a buddy comedy/action adventure."

In other words, Did I like the action? Yes. Did I laugh? Yes. Was the babes-fighting factor high enough? Most definitely yes; this movie knows its audience. Would I watch it on TNT in a few years? Yes.

There ya go. Go ye and be thou entertained.

The verdict:

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