After that summer in Europe things moved quickly. Justice went back to Kansas for the school year, but spent most of her breaks with me and the other guys. We found out shortly before she left that she and Lance were dating and were going to continue to date after she left. I was happy for both of them, but watching them together left me wishing things would work out so that I could be with Josh. Britney and I had talked about dating a bit but after she got a deal with Jive we decided it'd be best if we didn't because we'd never get to see each other.

Our pending return to America caused my graduation to be pushed back a year which Justice and I weren't too happy about because we wouldn't graduate together but we got over it. Justice and I had long talks at night about me telling Mama and the others about my being bisexual because even if nothing ever happened between Josh and me there'd still always be a chance I wanted to tell someone. Finally after our seventeenth birthday I had worked up my courage to tell them.

"I wish you were here," I whispered to Justice.

"Me too... I'll be there in a month," she said and I imagine her flipping through her planner, counting the days.

"I should wait-"

"You can't wait a month," she cut me off. "You need to tell them."

"I know... You can't come just for a weekend?"

"I can talk to Edward. He'll understand, I'm sure."

"I'll pay for your tickets."

"I've got money, Justie."

"You do? From what?"

"Those modeling jobs Renee's gotten for me. It's pretty good pay."

"That's very well, but I still want to pay for it. It'll cost a lot booking this late."

"We'll talk about it after I clear it with Edward, all right?"

"All right. Call me after you talk to him, okay?"

"I will. I hate to go but I need to go to sleep if I going to get up for school," she sighed.

"All right. Sleep good, I love you."

"Love you too."

"Night."

"Did I hear right, Justice might come visit?" Josh asked sitting down next to me.

"She's gonna try. We've got some stuff we need to talk about but we hate doing it over the phone."

"I understand what you mean. Some things have to be said face to face."

"Yah... Is you family coming to visit when Heather and Tyler have Spring Break?"

"We've talked about it and it's either that or go to Hawaii for a couple of days as a family vacation, something we haven't done in a long time," he answered.

"That'd be fun. We never went on many family vacations..."

"They're all right, I used to hate them when I was younger but now I'd go about anywhere to spend time with my family, you know?"

"Yah. That's why I'm glad Justice is coming for Spring Break, then Dad will be here the next week with Jonathan and Steven."

"That'll be fun. How come they aren't coming the week Justice is here? Doesn't she want to see them?"

"Benda and Dad have a worse relationship than Benda has with Mama, and she's never met Jon and Steve."

"She hasn't met her own half-brothers?" Josh exclaimed.

"I can't really explain it to you. It only makes sense when Justice explains it," I shrugged.

"Mama, guys, I gotta talk to you," I said.

"Don't say it like that. They'll think something's wrong," Justice said shaking her head as she lay on my bed looking at me, helping me figure out how to tell the others. "Say like I dunno, 'I need to tell you all something.'"

"I can't do that with like Mama though, Just," I said.

"Why don't you tell Lynn first then have the guys over and tell them?" she suggested. "I think that'd be better, ya know?"

"That's not a bad idea. It would be better to let Mama know before I tell the guys."

"Justice, Justin, dinner's ready," Mama said sticking her head into the room.

"All right, Mama," I said getting up out of my chair.

"Are JC and Paul not eating with us?" Justice asked when we sat down at the table.

"Paul had a dinner meeting, he'll be home later," Mama answered.

"Naw. He went to go see Chris about something," I shook my head. "This looks great, Mama."

"Thank you, Justin," she smiled.

Justice offered a kind word on the food then we sat in silence eating our meal. Justice would look at me occasionally and by the time Mama was sitting dessert on the table I felt ready to tell her.

"Mama?"

"Yes baby?" she asked sitting a piece of chocolate cake in front of me.

"I need to tell you something," I said looking down.

"What is it, baby? You all right?" she asked noticing the look on my face.

"Yah I am," I nodded. "You like Josh, don't you, Mama?"

"Of course I do! He's a great boy, why?"

"You don't think hate him he likes both guys and girls?"

"You shouldn't hate people because of things like that, Justin," she said. "Why baby, do you?"

"No! He's my best friend! I couldn't hate no matter what," I exclaimed.

"Then why do you ask?"

I looked to Justice for help. "So then you don't have anything against gay people?" Justice asked.

"No I don't."

"What if it were one of your children?"

"I would love that child no matter what," she answered. "What's with all these questions, you two?"

"Mama, I'm bisexual," I said softly.

"Are you sure, baby?" she asked touching my shoulder. When I nodded she hugged me and said, "It's all right, baby. You know I still love you. It doesn't matter to me one bit."

"Thank you, Mama," I smiled at her, feeling relief wash over me.

"Have you ever dated another guy?" she asked.

"No I just find guys attractive as well as girls."

"Any guys in particular?"

"Maybe, why?"

"Just curious," she shrugged. "You tell me about what girls you like, I hope you'd feel comfortable about telling me this too, if you wanted."

"That's cool of you, Lynn," Justice said. "One of my friends in Independence told his parents he was gay and they won't talk to him anymore, they kicked him out of the house and everything."

"That's terrible! I don't see how a parent could do that to their child!" Mama exclaimed. "I won't ever be like that to you, Justin, I promise."

"Thank you, Mama, that's good to know," I smiled.

Telling the guys went rather smoothly. Apparently Joey and Chris had a bet going on with Justice, about whether I was gay or bisexual, grumbling about it being unfair as they handed her the money. Justice thought it was funny. They were all supportive of me though, especially Josh. Justice swears that she saw a look of hope cross his face after I told them but I didn't see it. I asked Lance about it but he just shrugged and said he hoped it would work out between us cause he could tell how I felt for Josh.

Things for the band were moving quickly. We were practicing ten hours a day because Lou was planning on having us make our American debut in April on MTV Live. We were working extra hard so that we wouldn't look stupid. By the time Justice came to visit mid-March I felt we could do the dance in our sleep and we were happy that they were giving us two weeks off to rest after almost two months of working for ten hours a day.

====

"Man, I can't believe it's raining," I groaned as Justice, Josh, and I sat in my living room enjoying the remainder of *NSYNC's time off.

"I know! Man this sucks!" Josh sighed.

"It's not so bad," Justice shrugged. "I'm sure we can find something else to do."

"Like what?"

"We could go to the studio and mess around," Josh suggested.

"That'd be fun," I nodded. "Just?"

"Sounds good to me. Do you think we could get in though?"

"Johnny has a studio in his house that he lets us use a lot. I can call and see," Josh said.

"Sounds good."

"Sucks that we can go outside," I said when he left to call Johnny.

"Especially since I enjoy going outside so much," Justice mused from where she lay on the couch.

"That's why you enjoy living in Kansas so much, isn't it? Cause there's nothing to do outside so you don't have to go," I said.

"Oh yes, you know it! I enjoy living halfway across the country from my brother and my boyfriend just so that I don't have to go outside," she replied.

"So things are still good with you and Lance then," I questioned.

"Yep. Always good except me not bein able to tell him about you and Lynn," she nodded.

"Why don't you tell him them?"

"I can't."

"Why not? I told everyone I was bi."

"Sorry, babe, no matter how major that was, that's nothing compared to telling your boyfriend you've lied to him for almost three years about your family and your relationship with your 'best friend'."

"She's right, Jus," Josh said coming back into the room. "Johnny said the studio's ours if we want to go over there," he added.

"Lets go then," I said helping Justice off the couch.

"Come on, Justice! It'll be fun," I pleaded.

"No way! I'm not the singer in this family," she shook her head.

"Please? I've been telling Josh about how amazing your voice is forever! You gotta sing for us!" I said.

"I'll sing but there ain't no way you're recording me," she replied. "People could hear it and then I'd feel stupid!"

"Why would you feel stupid if people heard you sing?" Josh asked.

"Certain people would ask questions," she shrugged.

"I promise Mama wouldn't hear it," I said.

"It's not just Lynn, Justie."

"Please?" I asked giving her puppy eyes.

"Damn I wish we'd never spent all those hours gettin that look down," she shook her head. "It shouldn't work on me, you know, since I watched you practice it for years but-"

"But it does so that means you'll sing for us!" I smiled.

"Fine. Yes I will," she sighed.

===

"I think I'm going to be sick," I exclaimed sitting down on the floor.

"You'll be okay, Justie," Justice said squatting in front of me. "This isn't anything to be nervous about."

"It's MTV, Benda! MTV!!!" I exclaimed. "I'm going to mess up and people are going to think we suck and-"

"Shut up, babe," she said covering my mouth. "You'll do wonderful! You'll make all the girls and even some of the boys who watch this show go crazy and they will love you."

"But what if-" I started when Josh walked up behind Justice.

"Justice, I'll take care of Justin if you wanna go check on Lance. He is convinced he looks stupid or something."

"With that white hair, I'm not surprised," Joey cracked. "He's Super Albino!"

"Not helping, Joey," Josh said punching him in the shoulder.

"All right, I'll go take care of Lance, convince him he's hot and you keep Justin from throwing up," Justice said getting up after hugging me.

"Jus, man, you're gonna do great out there," Josh said sitting next to me. "This is our big break! We're finally gonna get bring our music to America, just like we talked about when we were touring Europe and Justice and her friends in Kansas were our only American fans, remember?"

"Yah, but what if I mess up? I could ruin everything!"

"You won't mess up, Jus, I promise. We're all gonna go out there and be the best we've ever been, I swear!"

"You promise?" I asked looking at him.

"Promise," he nodded, squeezing my hand.

"*NSYNC, are you ready? You are due on stage in two minutes," a stage hand said coming back to where we were standing.

"You ready, Jus?"

I nodded getting up.

"See I told you, you didn't need to worry," Josh said when we got to our room.

"We were awesome," I exclaimed. "You did a really great job, Josh."

"Thanks, Jus. You did a great job too," he smiled.

"Thanks, man! I can't believe how good we did," I said. "Do you think the people at home liked us?"

"Yah... well I hope so," he nodded.

"Me too."

"You have nothing to worry about, Jus. In a few months the girls are gonna be so crazy about you, it'll be nuts. You won't be able to remember a time when you didn't have girls screaming your name," he said.

"Whatever, man. You're the one with the voice and the body that'll drive 'em crazy."

"Yah right. You know all the fans are gonna want you, Golden Boy," he said rolling over to look at me.

"I'm serious, man! All those girls would have to be crazy not to fall in love with you," I said. "Also you know I hate being called 'Golden Boy'."

"Why do you think I call you it?" he grinned. "And no matter if you do hate it, you're our golden boy now."

====

"What?" I asked. "Justice, girl, calm down! I can't understand you."

"I've got an audition for Jive!!" she screamed.

"You do?? Ohmigod, Justice, that's wonderful!!" I exclaimed. "I'm so proud of you!! When do you meet with them?"

Justice spent the next hour filling me in on everything she knew about her meeting. I was so happy for her. Even though she acted like she didn't care I knew how much Justice loved music and if she was given a chance to bring her music to the world on any scale it would be everything to her.

"You're demo has tested very well, Miss Randall," started Karen Cook, the woman we were meeting with.

"Timberlake," I said looking up.

"Bills," Edward said quickly, looking at me.

"What?" she asked confused.

"Her legal name is Belinda Bills but she goes by Justice Randall," Renee explained.

"Her name is Belinda Drew Timberlake," I muttered.

"Legally, Justin-" started Renee.

"Timberlake-Bills, okay?" Justice sighed not wanting this conversation.

"It's a long private matter," Edward told Ms. Cook who still looked confused.

"Okay… Anyway, we'd really like to sign you but there's a small problem with-"

"My appearance?" Justice suggested when she trailed off.

"Well yes… it doesn't fit the image…"

"If we can do it enough without making me look like a two dollar whore, I could be talked into changing my appearance some."

"You'd what?" I exclaimed.

"It's called doing whatever it takes, Justin," she shrugged.

"We like that attitude here, Miss Randall," Ms. Cook smiled.

"I can't believe you're willing to do that," I whispered when Renee, Edward, and Ms. Cook started to discuss the contract some more.

"I've dressed like this for four years, maybe it's time for a change," she shrugged.

"Justice, pay attention, please," Renee said looking at her.

"Okay sorry, I'll pay attention."

"We want you to record as soon as possible then promote in Europe," Ms. Cook continued. "Possibly this summer to next for a start."

"She's still got a year of school left," Edward spoke up.

"We could get her a tutor," Renee said.

"You've just got two classes don't you, Justice?" I asked.

"English and Government," she nodded.

"If you did a year and got yourself a base in Europe we would probably arrange for you to work out of your hometown getting yourself ready to release in America," Ms. Cook said. "If you only had two classes that'd leave time for recording."

"Then we could still graduate the same year," I exclaimed.

And it was settled Justice would go to France at the end of the month and record her album then she would tour Europe making a name for herself before coming back to America to complete her final year of high school. You could just look at her and tell how excited she was. We made plans for Lance and me to go to visit her whenever we had time off from touring in America.

Thought neither Lance nor I really wanted to go at the same time wanting to give the other time alone with Justice it was the only way we'd both get to see her because Lou had us touring like crazy and it was months in between our time off so it didn't leave many options.

As my eighteenth birthday approached Josh, much to my excitement, and I began to get closer. Whenever we weren't out in public, just with the guys and our families we began to flirt somewhat. He even went with Lance and me to visit Justice one time on our time off. The others teased us like crazy whenever they noticed we were flirting but we both just brushed it off.

Less than a month before our birthday Justice finally told Lance the truth about everything. Josh and I had been off doing a little shopping, trying to find these little chocolates Heather loved, and when we came back Mama was sitting on the couch hugging Justice as she sobbed. After Mama explained what was going on Josh went to go find Lance while I stayed and helped Mama comfort Justice.

Things were a little tense between Lance and me because he was angry that I had lied to him as well but we sat down and talked about it one night when Josh thankfully managed to get Joey and Chris to leave us alone. I got him to understand somewhat all the reasons behind everything and filled him in on stuff he didn't know about the story. The real test didn't come until the birthday party Mama had for me. Justice and Lance saw each other for the first time since Justice told Lance, at which they avoided each other as best they could.

Josh and I weren't the only ones getting closer. As time went on Mama and Justice began to get closer. They spent a lot of time talking about their relationship. Justice told me about a talk they had with Edward and Renee about Mama's new found interest in Justice. Justice was almost in tears as she told me the words Mama said and about the look on Mama's face when Edward asked her if it had anything to do with Justice's career. I was glad the two of them were working things out. I knew how much Justice wanted Mama to be proud of her, even if it was just subconsciously.

====

1999 was a good year for the group but at the same time it was a nightmare. We became more and more popular as the months rolled by and toured more and more. We all knew things were getting out of hand but didn't really realize how out of hand things were until Lance passed out one night before a concert. While he was in the hospital Lou forced us to finish the rest of the tour and we found out he was looking into finding a replacement. We stopped the search though by all threatening to quit if he did try to replace Lance. It was bad enough touring without him, we couldn't even think about replacing him.

When Lance got out of the hospital was when we began looking at our contracts again. Justice had told us about the stuff they'd had written into her contract and what they would add when they made it for a seven record contract in 2000. We couldn't believe our contracts when we reread them. When they didn't sound right to us we had a lawyer read over them and it was time to face the truth, Lou and RCA were ripping us off. By the end of the year we would be technically label less while we fought with Trans Con and RCA. Josh helped me so much during those months. It was just as hard for him yet he managed to be strong for me when I didn't think I could make it.

"Justin, can I talk to you?" Josh asked sitting down next to me.

"Sure, what's up?" I asked shutting off the television show that was talking about our lawsuits.

He wiped away the tears that had collected in my eyes when I realized I could lose all this because some greedy bastard wasn't willing to let us go. "We've been friends for a long time, ya know?" he started, continuing when I nodded. "At first when we were on the Mickey Mouse Club you were like my little brother... Okay so I don't know what I'm trying to say. I don't know why this is so hard, but Jus, I- I think I'm in love with you. I understand if you don't feel the same way but I can't keep it to myself anymore. It's just too hard and-"

I cut Josh off by pressing my lips to his. He was saying things I'd been wanting to hear for three years now and I couldn't help it, I had to kiss him. We kissed for a bit then stared at each other in silence when the kiss ended. Josh broke the silence.

"So um yah that's what I wanted to say and um do you uhh-"

"I think I'm in love with you too, Josh," I said cutting him off again.

"Great," he smiled.

"So um, what are we now?"

"What do you wanna be?"

"Together?" I shrugged.

"All right," he nodded.

"You owe me fifty bucks there, Joey, my man," I heard Chris yell from the doorway. "I told you they'd end up together!"

"That's not fair!!" Joey whined.

"You do realize they're going to kill you, don't you?" I heard Lance say as Josh and I got off the couch and walked to where the other three stood. "Congratulations, by the way, guys," he added going to his room.

====

While we began our legal battles with Lou and BMG it was time for Justice to return to America and to school to finish her last year of high school while she recorded her next album. Renee got her involved in a local contest they held every year for the senior girls in Independence to help her get involved with the other seniors because she only had one class at the high school that semester. Mama and I booked tickets to fly to see Justice as soon as we were able to. I talked Josh into going with us because I wanted to tell Justice about us and have him be there with me.

"What's up, Josh?" I asked looking at him as Mama drove to her parents house.

"I dunno, I'm just nervous about seeing Justice and your grandparents," he confessed.

"What's to be nervous about?" I asked.

"I know how important your family is to you. What if they don't think I'm good enough for you?"

"As it happens Justice loves you. She's wanted us to get together since I confessed to her that I liked you," I said. "And my grandparents think you're great too. They'll be glad I found someone I can be happy with."

"He's right, JC, my parents will be happy with you as long as you're good to Justin," Mama said. "Well we're here," she said when we pulled into a driveway.

"I'm gonna head over to the high school to see Justice, all right?" I said taking my stuff out of the back.

"That's fine. I'm going to catch up with your grandparents for a bit then lay down," she replied.

"Josh, what about you?" I asked.

"If you don't mind, I think I'll take a nap," Josh replied. "That'll give you and Justice some private time."

"All right, that's fine. Enjoy your naps and I will see you after Justice gets out of school," I said following them inside to see my grandparents before leaving.

After a brief chat with them I walked across the street to the high school Justice attended. From a brief tour she gave me of the school last time I visited I vaguely remembered where the office was and went there to find out where Justice was. An office secretary pointed me down the hall to room 109.

"Can I help you?" an older woman asked opening the door after I knocked.

"Is Belinda Bills in here?" I asked.

"Yes, why?"

"May I talk to her in the hall?" I answered.

"All right," she said turning around. "Belinda, there's someone in the hall for you," I heard her say.

"Ms. Wilson?" Justice said walked into the that was empty besides the teacher, Justice, and myself.

She shrugged and went back into the class room. Justice looked around the hallway again, briefly looking at me, but not like she usually did.

"Belinda Drew Timberlake!" I finally said.

"Justin Randall Timberlake, what are you doing here?" she asked.

"We got in town a little early and I decided I wanted to see my sister's high school," I shrugged hugging her.

"Sounds like fun," she smiled. "I've still got 30 minutes left in class but we're just talking about a book so I could bag off…"

"I'm comin' into your class, Benda, hope that's all right with you."

"You'll find it boring, but it's your 30 minutes," she shrugged going back into the class room.

The minute people noticed me the whispers began. Justice looked at me and giggled, I just shrugged slightly and followed her to her seat. The blond next to her looked at Justice with wide eyes.

"You know him??" she exclaimed.

"We're best friends," I offered.

"Really? Wow that's cool," she smiled casting Justice questioning looks.

"So B, you're coming to my party tomorrow, that?" asked a girl who sat behind Justice.

"I might stop by for a bit but J and his mom are only in town until Thursday and I don't get to see them much since they live in Orlando," she shrugged.

"Excellent," she smiled going back to chatting with the girl who sat next to her.

"Is that how your class usually is?" I questioned sliding into the front seat of the yellow Jeep Wrangler Edward gave Justice for her 16th birthday.

"Sorta," she shrugged. "So where to?" she asked flipping through her programmed channels to see which were coming in at the moment and finally stopping on one.

"Do you suppose we could just drive around for a bit? Mama's bugging me because of the lawsuit."

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Not really. I just want it to all go away so we can record our album," I sighed.

"How about for the next 6 days while you're here we pretend it's not happening?" she suggested.

"Sounds nice," I smiled. "So how's recording going?"

"Really pretty good. Depending on if I have class or not we usually start working around nine and either break at 1:00 or record until 4:00 then either way we come back in around 8:30 and record until 11:00. We got a lot of really good things I think."

"Are you doing that one you were telling me about? The one about the girl and her boyfriend keeping each other's dirty little secrets or whatever?"

"Keeping Secrets," she nodded. "We're gonna release that as a single in Europe maybe, cause the French version sounds real cool, I think. You'll have to come to the studio with me in the morning to listen to the rough cuts."

"Are you recording tomorrow?"

"No actually I've got the week off because of Neewollah. I'm just going in for a bit so we can recap what we've done and make notes of what we need to work on when I go back to the studio."

After she called Amanda and let her know she'd be a little late, we drove around Independence for thirty minutes longer. I never could understand how Justice could live here. I'd go nuts trying to live in this town. Between what I've heard about it from Mama and Justice there isn't a lot to do here. I've lived in the city too long to be happy here where Justice seemed to have problems getting in stations she liked in certain spots and all the people seemed to just drive around with no place in mind.

Finally I decided I was ready to face the "rest" of the world again and we drove singing to the radio, cracking up when an *NSYNC song came on, followed by one of Britney's. Our grandparents' house had always been one of my favorite places. Whenever Mama would bring Justice and me to Independence we always stayed there. It's one of the few places where I feel like Justin, not Justin Timberlake and it's nice. Located just a couple blocks from the city park it gave Justice and me a place to escape to. A lot of happy times were had in that house.