"Nasty Spatula-Girl stay away from darling Ranma!"
Shampoo's battle cry was accompanied by a bonbori swing
that would have removed Ukyou's head if it had connected.
Fortunately, Ukyou saw the move coming and dodged easily,
rolling across the floor and coming up in a combat stance.
Shampoo tried to charge her before she could ready
herself or counterattack, but Ranma leapt between them,
blocking Shampoo's attack.
"What wrong? Surely fiancee not want to make whoopie
with Spatula-Slut?"
"Uhhh...Not exactly...But, uhmmm...You see..."
Ukyou's voice came from behind Ranma. "Articulate as
ever, eh, Ranma-sugar? Don't worry--I've got the perfect
rebuttal for the Chinese Menace right here."
Trying to fight down his ever-rising panic, Ranma took
a quick glance over his shoulder. At least he meant it to
be a quick glance, before what he saw practically petrified
him.
Ukyou had apparently taken advantage of the distraction
to recover her spatulas. She had not, however, bothered to
recover her robe. As a result, the leather harness used
to hold the smaller throwing spatulas was having an...
uplifting effect on her already-attractive figure.
Even more arresting were the eyes, which now blazed
with a rage Ranma had never seen in her (or to be truthful,
in anyone else). Coupled with the slight, enigmatic smile
she wore, Ranma could only come to one conclusion. {She's
actually *enjoying* this...}
Reaching into the backpack that lay next to the wall,
Ukyou pulled out one of her exploding flour bags. "Hit
the dirt, lover!" she cried, hurling the bag at Shampoo.
Ranma pinwheeled out of the way, catching himself on
the windowsill, and watched in dazed confusion as Shampoo
leapt over the incoming missile. The packet struck the
wall over his futon. There was a brilliant flash, followed
by a concussive wave that drove all three through the
remnants of the outside wall.
*******************************************************
Mousse-Duck waddled up to the Nekohanten. {Oh, my
darling Shampoo! Why do you insist on pursuing that foul
cad Saotome, when the one who truly loves you is within
you reach?}
So distracted was the young man-turned-duck by these
thoughts that he failed completely to notice a diminutive
figure coming running around the corner. Of course, that
figure's traditional ninja garb might have had something to
do with it, too.
As the two collided, Mousse felt his glasses slide down
his beak, landing just in the right spot to be crushed by
the falling ninja's splayed arm.
"Oh, Master Mousse, sir, thank heavens I've found you!"
Mousse thought he recognized the voice as that of the
servant of that strange gymnast girl who had also fallen
under Saotome's evil spell.
Mousse then felt the welcome flow of hot water spilling
over his head, even as the ninja continued his frantic
speech. "I've come to warn you! Miss Shampoo is in
danger!"
An icy dagger pierced Mousse's heart. "What!? Where
is she? What danger is she in?" Even as he spoke, the
Master of the Hidden Weapons Technique reached under his
armpit and pulled out a small, folded piece of white cloth,
the size of a handkerchief.
The small man replied, "She is at the Tendo Dojo,
battling her attacker even as we speak. You must hurry!"
Internally, Sasuke was amazed as the male Amazon snapped
the cloth three times, causing it to unfold into a
complete set of clothing, which he rapidly donned.
"Thank you, my friend. Shampoo! Hang on, I'm coming
to rescue you!" Mousse leapt up to the rooftops, a
cavalry of one.
Sasuke watched the retreating figure with a morose
expression. {You poor, deluded fool. I can only hope....}
He shook his head at that line of thought. It seemed like
hope had abandoned Nerima, of late. With a heavy sigh, the
ninja once again became one with the black, velvety night.
*******************************************************
Akane awoke to a thunderous blast. She could tell it
had come from Ranma's room. {What is that idiot up to now?
Doesn't he know people are trying to sleep?}
Running down the hall, she started to worry when she
saw the door hanging on a single hinge. Looking through the
doorway, she became even more worried. Although a lot of the
room was filled with a cloud of white powder, Akane could
see that much of the far wall had been taken out by the
blast, and she could dimly see two figures leaping over the
pond in back, apparently swiping at one another as they
passed in midair.
Without thinking, Akane whipped around and dashed past
the others who had gathered in the hallway behind her,
ignoring their questions and confused looks.
As she emerged through the back door and into the yard,
she came to a screeching halt. {What got into those two
maniacs, now,} she wondered. Shampoo was really no
surprise, but to find Ukyou naked and attacking like some
sort of character in a video game was a bit much. Then
she saw Ranma, on all fours in the grass, obviously trying
to clear his head. Even as far as she was, she could see
the blood dripping from his forehead.
********************************************************
Heart pounding, Mousse ran-hopped over the rooftops of
Nerima, blindly charging toward the Tendo Dojo. He could
only hope that he was not too late to save Shampoo's honor.
In his anger, he had not been willing to take the time
to replace the glasses Sasuke had clumsily broken. As a
result, he was only able to see forms and colors--no details.
{That's alright. I know the way there by heart--and I
am sure I will be able to recognize the devil Saotome when I
need to.}
**********************************************************
Ranma came around to the sound of Ukyou and Shampoo's
battle, just as Akane came running out the back. He half-
expected her to launch into an attack, and was pleasantly
surprised when she simply helped him to his feet, a worried
expression on her face.
"What happened?"
"I dunno. First Ucchan showed up, acting all crazy, then
Shampoo came in after her in some kind of rage."
Nabiki's cry cut short their conversation: "Akane!
Ranma! Help!" They ran off, Ranma pausing only long enough
to shout to his father, "See that those two don't hurt each
other, Pop!"
**********************************************************
Genma studied the Amazon and the chef as they squared off
against one another. Bonbori met Big Fucking Spatula [TM],
while throwing spatulas gleamed in the moonlight.
{There is no way I am getting involved in that one. I've
got too many responsibilities to risk myself so recklessly in
a battle like that, no matter how strong my personal desire
to act.}
The Master of the Anything-Goes School of Martial Arts
Secret Rationalization Technique retreated into the family
room....
**********************************************************
Although Nabiki's cry had been too far away to pinpoint
its precise origin, Ranma, like many martial arts masters,
had learned how to tell the direction of a single sound. It
was only the distance that he was unsure of.
He paused only momentarily when the cemetary wall loomed
ahead, cutting off the narrow alley. Then he went over like
one of the cats he so hated, barely even touching the top of
the wall before he landed inside.
Akane actually stopped for a second, considering. {I
*should* go back, and get some help...I don't think anyone
else heard...And the graveyard is spooky at night...But then
Ranma wouldn't have any back-up....}
The last thought settled it for her. She sprang to the
top of the wall, looked to see Ranma standing by one of the
graves, jumped down and walked over to him.
"Look at this." He held out his hand. In it was
Nabiki's money pouch.
Akane grew even more worried. "No *way* did she drop
that voluntarily."
"What was she doing out here, anyway?"
"I think your answer is right there," she said,
pointing at the nearest tombstone.
"Kunou's grave...You mean that she..."
"We can ask her--When we've found her."
"Right. Look around, see if you can find any clues as
to who did this or where they might have taken her."
The two of them started searching in an ever-widening
circle. Akane shuddered, thinking about the gravesites she
was passing by. {This kind of omen I *don't* need.}
Ranma stopped short. "I think I know who took her--and
where they went."
"What do you mean?" Then she saw it. A gymnastics
ribbon, lying on the manicured grass of the graveyard.
"Are you sure it's hers?" There was no need to
identify Kodachi as the one they were talking about.
"Yep. And the only reason I can think of that she would
have left it here, rather than on Tatewaki's grave, is that
she had a more important burden...."
"I think we need to go back and get the others. That
mansion is a giant death-trap."
Turning back to the house, Ranma grimaced. "More like
a *series* of death-traps."
They ran back to the house.
**********************************************************
Mousse sped up as he heard the sounds of battle.
Adrenalin surged through his body as he caught a faint trace
of Shampoo's gasp.
{He struck her...Knocked the wind from her lungs...Ranma
Saotome, you shall PAY!!!}
He finally arrived on a neighbor's house, trying to make
out the blurred forms he saw through moonlight and myopic
eyes.
There was Shampoo, obviously. The purple hair was
impossible to miss, even for his vision. And that must be
Saotome she was fighting. He paused. Was Saotome...naked?
Yes, yes he was sure that there was nothing but flesh tone
visible under that black hair.
Suddenly it became clear. Saotome had lured his precious
Shampoo here, only to try to attack her and steal her virtue!
This heinous deed could not go unpunished....
"Tonight, Ranma Saotome, you die!" he cried, leaping
into the fray.
**********************************************************
Ukyou swung again at the feisty Amazon. She was still a
little fog-headed, but things had started, just barely, to
clear. She was beginning to wonder at her behavior this
evening, even as she held off Shampoo's attacks.
{I think I'm gonna have some apologizing to do...}
She managed a lucky swing, knocking Shampoo's breath
away. As her opponent's attacks were slowed, Ukyou had even
more time to collect her wits. She was about to start to
talk truce--for one thing, she had just realized that she was
naked--when an angry cry cut through the night, distracting
her.
"Tonight, Ranma Saotome, you die!"
She turned to see who this new threat to Ranma-Sugar was,
and was stunned to see Mousse--almost as stunned as she was
to see the sharp blades streaking toward her, edges glistening
in the moonlight....
***********************************************************
"Tonight, Ranma Saotome, you die!"
Ranma heard the all-too familar battle cry as he came over
the fence. The strange thing was that the direction was all
wrong. The speaker, Mousse, was clearly not facing him.
Ranma froze.
He saw Mousse leaping from a neighbor's roof. He saw Ukyou
spin, responding to Mousse's cry. He saw the sharp points
on the tips of Mousse's chains pierce flesh.
And he saw blood.
"UKYOU!!!!!"
***********************************************************
Chapter Seven
Thoughts & Reflections Hmmmm....OK, I now renounce any responsibility for the events in this story. It is blatantly obvious to me that I could not possibly be in charge of this. Yeah, I killed Kunou right off, and sure, I wasted the Guide. But...Ukyou? No way. Uh-uh. I couldn't possibly have.... I mean, she's always been my favorite, from the first time she arrived. She cooks, she's funny, she's WAAYY cuter than the tomboy...Nope. I'm not responsible. Find someone else to blame--Maybe the Illuminati....
Get your own Free Home Page