A Child's Guide to the

by Acrylic and Xigeous

Athletes get in for free.

If you look hard enough, you can find gum
and little pieces of candy just about anywhere.

Crowded subways often mean extra cash.
How many wallets can you get?

See the funny man? See his funny toys?
With all his toys he can't run very fast.

Earn pocket change while you wait for the train.

Growing up can be hard and lonely.
Brushing up against someone you feel
attracted to on the subway can help!

It's nice to do favors for friendly strangers --
some of them may even give you money.
Be sure and yell "Police" if anyone tries to give you less than $20.

Tired? Stretching out on subway seats is a great way
to relax before the big game.

Leaving trash in cars and on the platform
ensures work for Subway employees and provides
valuable sustenance for the less fortunate.

This is Twitchy Pete.
Sometimes he barks like a dog.
Sometimes he yells things.
Bark, Pete -- Bark!

Today's adults assume you're carrying weapons --
use this to your advantage to get preferred seating.

Be sure and dispose of cough drops properly.

If you leave the 40 of malt in a paper bag,
then no one will suspect you're drinking alcohol.

If you're dealing monte, remember kids,
you can't be tried as a adult until you're 16.

Subway riders are desperate for entertainment.
Feel free to sing your favorite song or try out new cuss words.
They'll thank you and you may get paid!

Everyone loves rap! Start a sing along!

Adults won't let kids ride between cars
because then they'd learn how to fly!

Cool stuff is often hidden behind locked doors
but paper clips and credit cards make great lockpicks.
If some adult tells you you're breaking the rules,
ask them if they said the same to Rosa Parks.

Get a group of friends together for a game!
Playing on the tracks is fun!
Who can hold on to the third rail the longest?

There are right ways and wrong ways to
board the subway. These are both correct.

And here's a free metrocard and some on-the-house tokens.
Cut and use! A special gift from your Uncle Xig!

Subway Orphans
The Glamour of the Subway
Ode to the Subway
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