Yes, I know it's a boring wanky thing to do but everyone did so well at M'Duck, that I'm going to name and shame the entire squad. Except for anyone I've forgotten or don't like any more. Or anyone who did shit.

Pete Myton
"The Startled Cat" wasn't kept overly busy during the group stage, but came into his own thereafter, particularly the final, where two or three magnificent saves kept us in the match.� Deservedly won a joint share of the Player Of The Tournament award.

Rory Donovan
Another unflustered display at the back from Rory, who also allowed himself to be talked into driving, the sap. Committed the foul of the day, of which more elsewhere on these pages

Steve Moy
On a disciplinary after being clocked having a sly fag in the car park (sorry Steve!)� Employed as a sweeper and played excellently throughout, taking a lot of pressure off the side with his calm distribution.� Another designated driver / gullible fool.

Gareth Draper
Digger didn't put a foot wrong all day: committed in every single challenge and broke up nearly every attack that came near him.� Earned himself a share of the POTT vote.

John McCutcheon
One of the stars of our first M'Duck outing, John worked tirelessly up and down the left flank, regularly finding the strikers running the channels with some pin-point passing.� Had a stint in his preferred position of goalie during the Colchester game.

Gavin Rumble
Another player who exploited the relatively unspoiled turf of the wings to harry the opposition and get plenty of ball into the box.� Set up Pete's goal and probably wished he hadn't afterwards.

Lanie Grania
Not for the first time, an early casualty. Doubly upsetting was the fact that he played his best game for Middlesborough.� It's no exaggeration of the Inca Llama's value to the team to say that, had he not succumbed to injury, our chances of taking home the M'Duck Cup would have been very significantly improved. We wish him a speedy recovery.

Mick Hibberd
One of the established stars of the team, once again, the Hitman had to play through the pain barrier in the final.� Gave 100% throughout the day, as ever.

Sam Cledwyn
One of the most recent additions to the side, Sam was a worthy joint winner of the POTT, and took the prize (a pair of socks) from Pete on the toss of a coin.� Sharp in front of goal, and battled hard in the midfield. Banter lacked irony, however.

Jed Hardy
Battled tirelessly up front and featured heavily in the POTT voting.� The elusive Pet Shop Boy lookalike annoyed the hell out of defenders all day and scored two outrageous goals.

Ali Evans
Who better to have scored the day's most tomfoolerous goal?� Just as at previous tournaments, made the long trek back from Liverpool and worked his socks of all day.� Always enthusiastic, always a willing runner.� I won't dwell on that shot against Luton...K

Tim James
In his first major tournament in charge, the Tiger's Keeganesque motivational powers drove a reduced SBA squad all the way to the final.� Has established a very good record as a manager, which is unlikely to be in any immediate danger from my fairly diffident approach to match tomfoolerising...

The Author Himself
Obviously fairly pleased with the day's deeds.� Now have a lovely M'Duck shrine installed on the back room mantelpiece.� Also got to write a bit for the tournament programme, which Russ and Pete probably won't be thanking me for.

The Cheerleaders
Yes, spare a thought for those hardy souls who gave up their Sunday to watch this cack.� There were thrills (getting to the final), spills (losing said final), but all along, this lot kicked every single ball with us (except my goal- I kicked that on my own, thanks...)

Full M'Duck report

I've put up with the wanky bit- give me a good laugh!

To hell with M'Duck, I've not had my dinner yet...

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