JAG
Headquarters
Harm’s office
1550
It was taking forever for the clock to strike four. Harm had completely given up on getting any work accomplished over an hour ago. Every time his phone rang, he would practically jump out of his skin.
Harm sat in silence contemplating all the things that had happened to him in just one week. Not just little things, but major life altering things. Harm wasn’t a pessimist, but he couldn’t help wonder, what else could possibly happen.
For the tenth time in the last hour, Harm was startled by the sound of the phone ringing.
“Rabb.”
“Commander, its Gordon Stevens. This meeting is taking longer than I thought. Would it be a problem if I come by in about an hour?” Stevens’ voice crackled from his cell phone.
“Yes that will be fine.” Just what Harm needed, another hour’s wait.
Lost in his own thoughts for the next thirty minutes, Harm didn’t notice Mac come into his office.
“Contemplating the immortality of the crab?” She asked teasingly.
“Hmm?” Harm looked up unsure of what she had said.
“Earth to Rabb, where are you?” She crossed her arms and sat on the edge of his desk.
“Just thinking.” He sighed.
“Well, I’m finished so I’m going to head out a few minutes early to get David.” Mac was actually in a pretty good mood despite the stressful day. She knew Harm would feel better once he got home to Mattie and David.
“Fine, I may be a little late.” Harm wasn’t really giving her his full attention.
“Is the Sec Nav giving you a hard time?” Mac asked.
“No, I’m waiting for Porter Webb’s lawyer.” Harm’s jaw tightened as the words came out.
Mac stiffened instantly.
“Her lawyer?”
“Yeah, he’d left a message while we were at the service for Webb.”
“Did he say what he wants?” She asked apprehension evident in her voice.
“No.” Harm was tired of second guessing himself.
“You should have told me he called.” She hoped it didn’t sound like she was nagging.
“I didn’t see any reason for two of us not to get any work done worrying about it.”
“So, you’re worried.” Mac knew she was, she’d hoped he wasn’t.
“No. Yes. I don’t know. He’ll be here soon, and then we’ll all know. I’ll call you as soon as he leaves.”
“You’re sure you don’t want me to stay here with you?”
“No, go get David. I’ll find out what this character wants and head straight home.”
There was that word again. Home. Nothing else seemed very important whenever she heard the word HOME.
“Okay, if you’re sure.” Mac verified.
“I am.” Harm nodded.
Patting him on the arm, Mac headed back to her office to secure for the day.
Twenty minutes later the anticipated call finally came.
“Commander Rabb, there’s a Mr. Gordon Stevens to see you.” The guard on duty announced.
“Yes, send him up.” Harm replied.
Gordon Stevens wasn’t the sort of man to make a striking first impression. He was of average height, maybe five foot ten, slightly over weight, possibly due to his age. He was probably in his late forties, early fifties, with an obviously thinning hairline.
Upon closer inspection, you could see he had the look of eagles. This man would be a formidable opponent. Harm could read it in his eyes.
“What can I do for you Mr. Stevens?” Harm shook his hand then waved for him to take a seat.
“I’m the Webb family lawyer. As such I handle a variety of issues for the family.”
“Including suing for custody of David Gayle?” Harm was tired of waiting he wanted to cut to the chase.
“I beg your pardon?”
“Are you here on behalf of Mrs. Webb’s interest in custody of David Gayle?” Harm was losing patience.
“I think there’s been a misunderstanding. Yes, I do represent Porter Webb, but I’m here today on behalf of Mr. Clayton Webb.” The lawyer paused to see if Harm wanted to interrupt with some other benign comment.
“I prepared Mr. Webb’s will. It’s solid. There should be no contesting it, by anyone, including Mrs. Webb.” He glared at Harm pointedly.
“I’m here to deliver this.” He handed Harm a large manila envelope.
“Clayton changed his will shortly after his son was born. He insisted if he died before Miss Gayle, while young David was still a minor, you should receive this letter upon her death or incapacitation.” He gave Harm a triumphant smirk.
“I see, thank you. I apologize for being presumptuous. I had a visit with Mrs. Webb last night and it left me prepared for the worst.” Harm was right, this man was a formidable opponent, but his instincts told him Stevens would be an equally valuable ally.
Looking at his watch, “I’m sorry I can’t stay longer but I have to be at another meeting twenty minutes ago.” The attorney chuckled to himself.
“Thank you again for coming.” Harm shook his hand again, and escorted him to the elevator.
“Remember, the will is solid.” The lawyer said, as the elevator doors closed.
Harm dialed Mac on his cell phone while walking to his office.
“Hi,”
“Well, what did he want?” Mac asked anxiously.
“He wasn’t here representing Porter, he was here on behalf of Clay.”
“Clay?” Mac was obviously confused.
“He brought me an envelope from Clay in the event of Catherine’s death or incapacitation.” Harm had reached his office and was packing up for the day. He placed the letter in his briefcase.
“I’m ready to get out of here. I’ll read it when I get home. Be there in about twenty.” Harm snapped the brief case shut just as he and Mac said good bye.
Harm’s
apartment
Near Union Station
Same night.
When Harm reached his apartment, dinner was waiting for him.
“I have to admit, your spinach lasagna is even better than mine.” Harm repeated frequently between mouthfuls.
“I thought after today, you deserved your favorite dinner. Besides, Mattie helped quite a bit.” Mac smiled at Mattie.
“Well, thanks. This really hit the spot. Your spinach…”
“Lasagna is better than mine.” Mac and Mattie chorused loudly. “We get the point.” They laughed.
Harm held back a laugh trying to look offended. He didn’t succeed and soon all three were laughing hilariously.
“Do you have much homework?” Harm took a sip of water after they’d calmed down.
“Just Geometry. I hate proofs. Can you still help me?” Mattie asked.
“No problem.” Harm helped Mattie clear the table.
While Harm and Mattie worked on her homework, Mac bathed and fed David getting him ready for bed. By the time David was sleeping soundly in his bassinet, Mattie was packing up her schoolwork.
“Thanks for the help. See you at breakfast.” Mattie gave a quick wave and was gone.
Harm stared at the closed door for a few seconds.
“I wonder what she was like when she was little?” Harm said not really out loud, but not really to himself.
“Shorter.” Mac joked.
Successfully snapped out of his reverie, Harm walked over to his briefcase and took out the envelope.
“I guess it’s time.” Sitting down next to Mac on the sofa he broke open the seal.
Turning the envelope upside down, several things fell out. The first was a white envelope addressed to Mother. Next was a similar envelope addressed to David. The third, an envelope addressed to Harm.
“I guess it’s safe to assume, I’m supposed to read the one addressed to Harm.” Harm said in an attempt to break the tension.
“Why don’t I go make some tea while you red the letter.” Mac set her hands on the sofa to push off when Harm reached over and grabbed her hand.
“No, stay here.” He broke open the seal, removed the letter, and began to read.
Harm:
Since it’s my intention to replace this letter annually it’s a safe bet that something has happened to both Catherine and me before David’s first birthday.
Let me start out by saying, thank you.
Next, I’d like to explain my relationship with Catherine. Especially since I suspect there’s a certain marine sitting near you right now who deserves some explanation as well.
Catherine and I have seen each other casually for years. We share several common interests, the most important being a better than average understanding of the word ‘classified’. I know that’s not much to base a relationship on for most people, but Catherine and I have come to depend on each other through the years for friendship and comfort.
David was not planned, but he was not a mistake. We both love him dearly. He’s only a month old as I write this and I already know, he’s smart, handsome, and will have his father’s charm. (No comments from the peanut gallery thank you).
I know with my line of work I will never be a major part of his life. I’m already regretting that. When Catherine first told me she was naming you David’s guardian upon her death, regardless of whether or not I’m alive, I knew she’d made the perfect choice.
You will be the sort of father every boy wants. David will learn the value of intangible traits such as honor, and loyalty from you as easily as he might learn to play basketball or fly an airplane. Both of which I have no doubt you will teach him.
It is important to both Catherine and I that you raise our son. Knowing my mother as I do, I wouldn’t put it past her to try and raise David herself. I love my mother, but she’s not the best man for the job. I have included a letter for her in the event that she gives you any serious trouble. If she goes along with our requests willingly, it’s best she not see the letter. Try to use it as a last resort. I leave it up to your discretion.
Now, about Mac. I’m sure she’s there with you. If she’s not than you’re a damn fool. Knowing her as well as I do. I know she’ll be there for you and David. As much as I love her, and all that I would give up for her, she could never give me what she’s already given to you, her heart and soul. Love her enough for both of us.
Lastly, there should be a letter for David enclosed. Please see to it that he gets it for his 16th birthday.
Good bye my friend.
Thank
you,
Clay
Harm’s
apartment
Near union station
Harm folded the letter and put it back in its envelope then returned all three letters to the larger manila envelope.
“He wants to ensure I have custody of David. The letter addressed to his mother probably says that. It’s for us to use if Catherine doesn’t make it and Porter gets ugly.” Harm reached over and took Mac’s hand in his.
“He knew you’d help me.” One side of Harm’s mouth curled up in a smile.
Harm had decided it was best not to let Mac read the letter. He was afraid she’d feel put on the spot when she got to the part where Clay felt she loved Harm heart and soul. Besides, Harm wasn’t totally convinced that was true. A more devoted friend he’d never find. But he wasn’t so sure he meant more to her than that, after all she did say she was keeping her apartment for when this was over. As usual, Harm had remembered what he heard, not what Mac had said.
Feeling Mac squeeze his hand, he looked up at her.
“What else did he have to say?” She asked, probably not for the first time.
“He explained his relationship with Catherine. It sounds like they were very good friends, who occasionally offered a little additional comfort. Webb said their relationship was based mostly on a mutual understanding of the word classified.” The other side of Harm’s mouth curled up in a smile as he let out a small chuckle.
“Well, that’s more than we had.” She scooted a little closer to Harm, still holding his hand.
“I learned to hate the word classified.” Mac laid back heavily, resting her head on the sofa, she closed her eyes.
Harm watched her quietly for several minutes. She is by far the most beautiful woman he’d ever known. The amazing thing is she’s as beautiful on the inside as she is outwardly. Unconsciously he began stroking the back of her hand with his thumb. Against his better judgement, his mind wandered to Clayton’s letter. Could it be everyone else was right, could it be this woman had truly given her heart and soul to him and he was just too blind to see. Too engrossed in his own fears to accept the one thing he wanted most in the world.
He found himself inching closer and closer to her. His face only inches from hers, Mac opened her eyes. He searched the depths of her eyes to see what they told him. Who was right?
Seeing his steel gray eyes so close to hers, Mac’s breath caught in her chest. Pulled together like magnets, they were locked in an unbreakable gaze. Without thought, or a conscious decision she could recall, she leaned in the last inch meeting his lips in a delicate caress.
Lingering in the warmth of the kiss a moment longer than he probably should have, Harm felt Mac’s free arm reach around to rest on his shoulder. The gentle pressure of her hand bore the heat of a searing iron. He gasped for air at the fire that spread through him.
He drew upon years of strict military discipline, and a code of honor, to pull back from her tempting kiss. Her eyes were still drawing him in. The dark pools seemed to hold an invitation for more. An invitation he knew he had to refuse, for now.
Smiling softly, he let go of her hand and gently patted her thigh.
“I think I would like that cup of tea now. Can I get you one.” Suppressing his desire, his voice was still a little rough.
Still so close to her, his voice so low, that sounded like the sexiest thing she’d ever heard.
“Yes, thank you. Tea sounds good.”
Neither really wanting to break the spell, they tarried a little longer before making their way to the kitchen.
Harm’s
Apartment
Near Union Station
One week later.
By now, Harm and Mac had worked out a routine much like a well oiled machine.
Mac had taken on most of the responsibilities for David. Harm focused
more of his attentions on Mattie. Not that Harm didn’t help with
David, he did, he was proving to be an excellent Dad, but Mac much preferred
bathing and changing a baby to helping a 15 year old with her physics
homework.
The days were long and tiring. They started at 0500 in order to have everyone up, fed and ready for their day. Depending on their morning schedule at the office, either Harm or Mac would drop David off at the sitter’s.
Both Harm and Mac tried to limit their workload so they could leave the office by 5pm. Usually, Mac would pick David up from daycare, and Harm would stop by the hospital to visit with Catherine. Once, Harm even took David to the hospital to meet with Porter.
Catherine still hadn’t woken up, but the doctors were pleased with her progress. Mrs. Webb had indeed hired several physicians to keep tabs on Catherine, including some physical therapy guru who was exercising Catherine’s limbs regularly to slow down atrophy.
Game nights were the hardest. The end of Mattie’s softball season was approaching so her game schedule seemed twice as full as usual. On these nights, Harm and Mac would meet at the school to watch the game and would pick up a pizza or something for dinner on the way home. The regular homework and bedtime routine would be crammed into what was left of the evening.
When the adult bedtime finally rolled around, Harm and Mac usually collapsed into bed in a state of total exhaustion, prepared to be awoken twice more before morning. As rigorous as their schedule was, it was the nighttime feedings that were killing them. Once they would be able to get five or six straight hours of sleep, they knew things would get easier.
Today had been one of the more hectic days. Harm had a case in court that ran over so he had to skip his usual visit with Catherine in order to make it on time to Mattie’s game. On top of that, it was an away game 30 minutes further east, so Harm picked Mac up at the apartment and they drove together to Mattie’s game.
“I don’t know if it’s because I was so hungry or if Wong’s has a new cook, but this is the best take out chinese we’ve ever had!” Mattie said as she put her fork down and began gathering her math papers.
“Is that it? Are we done with the homework?” Harm asked stretching his back and yawning.
“That’s it. Old man Brady is a softball fan so he cut us a break and didn’t assign any physics homework. I’m hoping he’ll be as generous if we make the playoffs.” Mattie grinned as she shoved the last of the papers into her backpack.
“I’m out of here, six o’clock comes too early for me.” She grabbed her backpack and waved to Harm and Mac on her way out the door.
“Youth is definitely wasted on the young.” Mac said as she came down the stairs from the bedroom.
“David asleep?” Harm asked quickly cleaning up the mess from dinner.
“Almost, and I won’t be far behind.”
Mac walked around the small living room straightening out a few things here and there.
“I’m calling it a night. I’m beat. I’ll iron my uniform in the morning.” Mac yawned as she headed back to the bedroom she’d just come from.
Turning out the lights. “I’m right behind you.” Harm yawned.
Harm was already in bed when Mac came out of the bathroom.
“I know I’ve said this before, but I’m not sure I’ve said it enough, thank you.” Harm watched her climb into bed.
“Yes, you have, and you’re welcome.” She smiled. “Good night.” She yawned as she turned her back to him snuggling into the edge of the bed.
“Good night.” Harm turned his back to her as well.
Just about to fall off to sleep, a thought occurred to Harm. If someone had told him he could spend every night for two weeks in the same bed with Sarah MacKenzie and not have a hard time controlling himself, he’d have told him or her they were crazy.
Truth be told, no matter how attracted he was to Mac, and he definitely wanted her, by the time they’d go to bed, he was pretty much dead and too dumb to fall over. Of course it probably helped that with the exception of the night they found out Webb was the passenger in Catherine’s car, Mac had taken to sleeping curled up on the edge of the bed and never moved closer to Harm.
Harm suspected, exhausted or not, if he actually felt Mac in bed next to him, control just might be an issue. On the other hand maybe exhaustion and new babies was Mother Nature’s method for birth control.
Too tired to think anymore, Harm drifted off to sleep.
JAG
Headquarters’
One Week Later
Sarah MacKenzie’s office.
“Here are those reports you requested.” Harriet smiled cheerfully as she placed a stack of files on Mac’s desk.
“You’re looking pretty chipper this morning, ma’am.” Harriet was a little too perky for her own good sometimes.
“Well, for the last few nights, David has stopped waking up for his three am bottle. We’ve actually gotten an entire six hours of uninterrupted sleep for three nights in a row. I feel like I’ve been given a week’s vacation.” Mac leaned back in her chair grinning.
“I imagine it must be tough to get custody of a baby without any of the preparation. Most of the nine months you’re pregnant, you wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. By the time the baby comes, you’re so used to interrupted sleep that you can pretty much handle anything and keep going.” Harriet took a step back towards the door before stopping.
“Maybe you and the Commander should take a night off and go do something. It’s Friday night, if Jennifer or Mattie can’t watch David for you, we’d be happy to have him. As a matter of fact, why don’t you do just that. Drop David off at our house and don’t pick him up until after breakfast tomorrow.” Harriet stepped in closer to Mac again.
“I couldn’t ask you to do that Harriet.” Mac shook her head slightly.
“Nonsense, Bud and I are old pros at this, one night and one little baby will be fun for us. Even if the Commander doesn’t want to go out, we’ll still take David and give you a night off.” Harriet headed for the door, determined not to take no for an answer.
“You win, Harriet. Thank you.” Mac smiled broadly.
“Drop him off anytime after work.” Harriet swiftly retreated to her own desk.
Picking up the phone, Mac immediately dialed Harm’s office.
“Hey there, flyboy.” Mac was in a good mood now.
“How would you feel about a night on the town to celebrate three nights in a row of sleep?”
“Well, sounds good to me except Mattie is spending the night at Valerie’s to celebrate winning the playoffs, and I thought I heard Jen mention that she had a date. I can’t think of anyplace off hand that serves infants.” Harm laughed.
“Well, you’re probably right there," Mac chuckled quietly, " but Harriet has offered to take David for the night.”
“Now, that sounds like a plan.” Harm could hear a knock on Mac’s door. “I’ll let you go, we’ll work out the details later.”
“Later.” She hung up the phone, a Cheshire grin across her face.
Tony’s
Restaurant
Georgetown
1945
“It’s been ages since I’ve been here, I’m so glad you thought of it.” Mac shifted her chair closer to the table.
Tony’s was a small family owned, Italian- American restaurant. It wasn’t very big, the décor was simple, but the food was out of this world. If Mama Rosa wasn’t cooking, they were at least using her recipes, but most of the time she insisted on cooking herself.
“Do you think Mama Rosa is cooking tonight? She’s got to be 100 by now.” Mac giggled.
“It wouldn’t surprise me. That woman will probably outlive us all.” Harm smiled before taking a sip of his water.
Mac looked over her menu a few minutes before laying it down on the table.
“Know what you want already?” Harm asked, still looking at his menu.
“No, I know this sounds silly, but I feel guilty.” Mac practically whispered, leaning across the table.
“What for?” Harm wrinkled his brow.
“Being out. I feel like I should be home with the baby. I told you it was silly.” Mac picked the menu back up. She couldn’t see Harm grinning from ear to ear behind his menu. She was a great mother.
“Don’t tell me you’re worried about leaving him with Harriet?” Harm tried not to let the amusement show in his voice.
“Of course not.” She looked over the same dish for the third time. Still with no clue what she’d just read.
“I wasn’t so sure there for a minute. I think Harriet deserves a medal for not smacking you and throwing you out after explaining to her about the formula temperature for the third time.”
Looking up at him, “I didn’t really, did I?”
“Yes, you really did, right after you explained the importance of him sleeping on his side so he wouldn’t choke.” Harm was trying really hard not to laugh.
Dropping her menu, her eyes wide open, her mouth attempted to move. “I did, didn’t I?” She looked absolutely horrified.
“You did, but I think Harriet understood, she’s a trooper.” Harm bit back a smile.
Noticing Mac’s expression hadn’t softened. “It’s okay, really.” Harm reached out for her hand. All amusement vanished, recognizing she was really upset about Harriet. “I don’t think she took it personally, she’s a mother, she understood. It’s okay.”
“You think?” The last thing she wanted to do was unintentionally insult one of her best friends.
“I’m
positive.” Harm smiled, not letting go of her hand until their meal
was served.
Mama Rosa had indeed cooked dinner tonight. As it turns out, she was only
87.
One of the many charms of Tony’s, besides the food, was the old-fashioned jukebox in the corner. It played only the best Italian crooners: Frank Sinatra, Tony Bennet, Perry Como, there might have been a token Bing Crosby tune.
Between dinner and dessert they got up to dance to a couple of tunes, and again after coffee. They were having a wonderful time.
“They don’t write songs like these anymore.” Mac sighed.
“Maybe because there’s too much pollution in San Francisco for anyone to want to leave their heart.” Harm teased.
Smacking him lightly across the shoulder.
“That’s not what I meant and you know it. There aren’t many men vocalists who can pull off tunes like this.” She continued.
“What about Michael Bolton?” Harm inquired.
“Yeah he probably could. I suppose, Harry Connick Jr.” She added.
“Maybe life has just gotten too busy to take time for the slow and romantic. It’s just not popular.” She leaned in a little heavier on Harm’s shoulder.
Harm tightened the grip around her waist. He didn’t care much about what was popular, but right now he was thankful for Old Blue Eyes, and Mac in his arms. Her breath on his neck sent shivers down his spine. He memorized every curve of her body as they swayed to the music.
Several of the staff stood by the kitchen door with broad smiles, watching the young couple dance. Had the music not stopped, they would have gladly danced all night.
“I guess we’d better let these people get home.” Harm said not wanting to release his hold on her.
“It’s pretty late.” She reluctantly backed away.
Harm paid the check and placed his arm around her waist as they walked to the car.
It seemed perfectly natural for her to lean into him as they walked. Mac couldn’t remember a time when she and Harm felt more comfortable with each other.
When they reached the car the air was thick with the electrical current surging between them. It was subtle, yet over powering. Harm unlocked the door and stepped sideways to swing it open brushing up against where Mac was standing.
He paused for a split second to look in her eyes. He was completely lost. The desire that had been slowly building all evening burst to the surface. Without any thought to consequences, Harm leaned down and captured Mac’s lips under his.
His arms wrapped around her pulling her closer. She fell into his embrace, her arms snaking up around his neck. They pulled each other closer with equal force. They couldn’t get close enough. Their lips caressed each other with gentle ease. Their taste was intoxicating.
Harm felt all air rush from his lungs when the tip of Mac’s tongue teased the seam along his lips. Their tongues began a dance much like the one they had just shared. Mac’s fingers slowly brushed along the back of his hair, teasing the base of his ear, setting his very soul on fire with need for her.
Mac couldn’t stop herself from touching him. Her hands had a will of their own. Their mouths continued to search and explore the taste of every corner. Harm’s strong muscular body pressed tightly against hers was fanning a flame that was almost burning out of control. He slid one hand down her back letting it fall to rest on her six. She couldn’t help the soft moan that escaped her lips, momentarily breaking the kiss.
Harm winced, almost in pain, at the lost sensation of her lips against his. What had he started? God help him he didn’t want to stop, but they were standing on a public street. If this went much further, they’d be putting a lot more on the line than either of them bargained for.
Wrapping his arms around her, he held her close in a strong embrace trying to regain control.
Mac willingly rested her head on his shoulder.
“We’d better go home,” was all Harm could think to say. He didn’t dare think what would happen when they got there.
On the road
They rode in perfect silence like a couple of scared teenagers. Both had been caught off guard by the powerful emotions emanating from a single kiss.
Several different scenarios of what he or she should, or would, do when they got home, were running through each of their minds. The possibilities ran the gamut from packing a bag and high tailing it out of there, to stripping on the spot and making passionate love still standing against the front door.
The miscellaneous options for what little was left of the night was interrupted by the ringing of Harm’s cell phone.
"Rabb." He wondered who could be phoning at 11:30pm.
"Yes… Really… Of course… No problem... It’ll take about 20 minutes… All right, bye." He flipped his phone shut.
Mac had been watching him carefully but it was impossible to decipher any information from the splintered conversation.
"That was Andy. It looks like Catherine is waking up. He wants us there, I hope you don’t mind." Harm glanced at her briefly as he weaved around a few cars. He was in a hurry, driving the vette as though he were maneuvering a tomcat.
"Of course not." Mac smiled and placed her hand lightly over his, her hand following his as he shifted from gear to gear. The gesture was not lost on him. She was with him, no matter what, no matter when.
George
Washington Hospital
Critical Care Unit.
The elevator doors opened to the fourth floor. Harm stepped out slowly, Mac following in step behind him. Taking a short step to his right, Harm turned slightly for Mac to catch up and walk by his side. He reached over taking her hand in his. She gave him a reassuring squeeze and a bright smile.
They would be okay.
Harm’s pace seemed to slow as they got closer to Catherine’s room. By the time they reached her door, Mac was practically dragging him behind her.
Andy heard them standing at the door.
"She’s dozed back off again." He said as he stood and walked over to them.
"Did she say anything?" Harm asked.
"Not much, she asked about the baby. I told her he was fine, that you and Mac were taking very good care of him." Andy replied.
“Did you tell her about Clayton?” Harm asked.
“No, she didn’t ask, I didn’t see the need to volunteer any information yet.” Andy frowned.
"What have the doctor’s said?" Mac asked.
"They haven’t seen her. Only the nurses have been in, but everyone is very pleased." Andy’s eyes started to fill up with tears.
"Did she say how she feels?" Harm asked.
"Is she in much pain?" Mac asked at the same time.
"SHE, is right here." Came a weak voice from across the room.
The three of them flew across to her bedside. Harm instantly taking hold of her hand with his free hand, still tightly holding his grip on Mac with the other.
Catherine waved her good hand near her throat. Mac pulled away from Harm’s grip to get her some ice chips.
"Don’t try and talk too much yet. You were on a respirator for some time. Your throat is probably pretty raw." Mac explained as she placed chips delicately at Catherine’s lips.
"I knew I could count on you." She smiled at Mac before falling back asleep.
"She’ll probably be doing that off and on all night. I told her David was okay but I think she didn’t believe me. She seemed to be getting agitated, that’s why I asked you to come right over. Now that she’s seen you, I’m willing to bet she’ll sleep. Why don’t you two go on home." Andy sat down by her bed.
Mac spoke first as Harm pulled the car out of the hospital parking lot.
"What happens now?"
"From what the doctor’s have said so far, she stays where she is while she continues to heal. This could take weeks. From here she goes down to the rehab ward. No one has given us any idea of how long she could be there, but I have a feeling it’s going to be a while. Despite Mrs. Webb’s therapy guru, Catherine has her work cut out for her regaining her strength.”
“What happens after rehab?” Mac had shifted slightly so she was almost facing Harm.
“I don’t know. Some patients have to go to an assisted living sort of place before they’re ready to go home alone. I can’t imagine she’d need to do that. I suppose she might go stay with Andy. She might be strong enough to go home alone. I honestly don’t know.”
It was obvious to Mac that Harm hadn’t really given much thought to transitioning care of David back to Catherine.
“What do you think of having Catherine stay with us when she’s released?”
The thought had never occurred to Harm. Hearing it from Mac made it all the more startling.
“Don’t look at me like that. It’s a very good idea.” Mac watched Harm searching for words. “She probably won’t be up do dealing with a bigger, more active David as soon as she gets out. This will give her some time to adapt to any changes in his life and it will give him time to get used to his mother again.” The more she thought about it, the more sense the idea made, even to her.
“I don’t know if she’d go for it, but you wouldn’t mind?” Harm was constantly in awe of this woman.
“Why would I mind? Harm, David is HER son.” As much as Mac had grown to love David, she had reminded herself often, every day, this is just temporary.
“I just thought having to take care of David and Catherine, in your home, might be asking too much of anyone.” Harm kept his eyes on the road. He truly hoped Mac was going to think of his house as her home.
“Then it’s settled. I don’t need an office. We’ll do up the downstairs bedroom as a guest room instead for Catherine.” Mac shifted back to face forward. A few moments later she slipped her hand across to rest on Harm’s.
All the activity surrounding Catherine’s waking up had snapped Harm and Mac back to reality with the efficiency of a cold shower. By the time they reached the apartment, both were tired and drained, the moment for romance had long slipped away. Harm had stayed in the living room quietly unwinding with a cold beer. Mac had opted for a hot shower before climbing into bed alone.
Harm’s
apartment
Next day
Mac was the first one to wake up. Harm was slowly waking up to the smell of pancakes and eggs cooking.
“Good Morning.” He said to Mac, tightening the belt on his robe.
“I thought about taking a run but decided to just enjoy the free time instead.” She flipped the eggs over in the pan.
Walking up behind Mac he wrapped his arms around her waist, and sniffed over her shoulder. “This smells wonderful.”
Mac smiled politely but Harm could feel her tense up at his touch.
Backing up, he walked over to the fridge. “Want some juice?” Maybe he’d gone too far in last night’s kiss. Don’t jump to any conclusions he warned himself.
“That’ll be nice, thanks.” Mac busied herself setting the table. Harm poured the juice.
Breakfast was finished over small talk. Each of them was thoroughly enjoying not needing to do anything else. The weather was so pleasant they agreed as soon as Harm was showered and dressed, they’d pick David up from Harriet’s and spend the rest of the morning at the park.
Harriet reported that David had been an absolute angel and had indeed slept through the night for her as well.
The park near Mac’s apartment was wonderful for families. There were plenty of baby swings and rides that parents and toddlers could enjoy. In reality, David was totally indifferent to all the activities, but Harm and Mac were having a wonderful time.
Mac had sat down on the blanket they’d brought, after rocking David to sleep, while Harm had gone over to the vendor across the park to buy a couple of soft pretzels. He couldn’t resist smiling when he got back to the blanket and saw Mac laid out, her head on the diaper bag, her eyes closed, and David asleep at her side with her hand protectively warming his tummy.
Harm approached the two as quietly as possible trying not to disturb them. He settled down on the blanket next to Mac. Making himself comfortable, he shifted his weight to one side so he could run his fingers through her hair. She had such soft silky hair with a wonderful scent of almonds and vanilla.
Gently brushing her hair with his fingers, Harm was instantly aware the moment Mac woke up. Without opening her eyes, he could see her entire body stiffen much like she had when he hugged her this morning.
Easing himself up into a sitting position, Harm offered Mac the pretzel. Food was always a safe way to appease his marine. Especially when he wasn’t sure what he had done.
Mac hadn’t realized she’d fallen asleep until she felt Harms fingers roaming through her hair. The simple gesture sent chills down her spine. Everything was moving too fast for her, she was scared. If she crossed that last line, let down her last wall of defense, Harmon Rabb would have all of her heart forever, and she was scared to death that he’d break into little pieces when all this was over.
“Still want some pretzel?” Harm smiled and said a prayer.
“Mmn, looks delicious.” She grinned back not wanting to show her unease.
Harm watched her eat the pretzel, keeping a watchful eye on David. Maybe he was overreacting. That’s all, everything would be fine he told himself.
Harm’s
apartment
Later that night
The rest of the afternoon flew by. Once David woke up from his nap, Harm and Mac stopped at the hospital with the baby to visit Catherine, but found her sleeping. Instead of spending the afternoon waiting for her to wake up, they did all the standard fun Saturday events: groceries, laundry, and light housework.
After dinner Harm offered to give David his bath. Mac gladly grabbed a book she hadn’t been able to read since moving in with Harm and made herself comfortable on the sofa. From where she sat, she had a birds eye view of Harm at the kitchen sink. He really had come a long way in a few short weeks. Had anyone told her watching a grown man bathe a three month old baby would be this entertaining she’d have never believed them.
Mac followed Harm with her eyes as he took David into his room. Through the wall dividers she could see Harm’s silhouette changing the baby. His skills at handling an infant had most definitely improved. He no longer moved with the obvious fear of breaking David. Harm whistled as he and David returned to the kitchen to prepare his bottle.
Pretending to be engrossed in her book, Mac saw Harm and David approaching her from the corner of her eye.
“Do you want me to feed him?” Harm asked standing over her.
Smiling brightly, “no, I’d like to feed him, thank you.”
Mac sat up. Leaning over to hand her the baby and the bottle, Harm kissed David softly on the forehead, then looked up and briefly captured Mac’s lips in a sweet kiss before returning to clean up the mess in the kitchen.
Harm didn’t watch long enough to see Mac fumble the bottle. He had no idea how nervous she was becoming around him. She dreaded going to bed tonight. She was pretty sure what Harm was thinking, and she knew what she wanted, but she knew she had to protect her heart at any cost or she’d never get through the next few months taking care of them.
Cleaning the kitchen, Harm let his mind wander off thinking about the kiss last night. He always knew being with Mac would be like no other, but even he hadn’t imagined the magnitude of a single kiss. Last night she had been so responsive, and today she seemed so tense when he touched her. Harm didn’t know what to make of it. Had she just gotten lost in the physical attraction and now in the light of day realized she didn’t want that with Harm, or was there something else he was missing?
By the time Harm had finished the kitchen, Mac had put David to sleep and was back in the living room with her book.
“Do you mind if I turn the stereo on?” Harm asked moving across the room.
“No, not at all.” Mac never looked up from the book.
Harm popped in a Diana Krall CD and went to sit by Mac on the couch.
“When is Mattie coming home?” Mac asked setting her book down on her lap.
“She’s spending the night again.” he smiled. “I never led such a busy social life at fifteen.” Harm inched a little closer.
“It’s good she has such nice friends.” Her eyes caught Harm staring at her.
“You’ve seemed a little tense around me today. Did I do something wrong?” No sense in second-guessing himself.
“No, you haven’t.” She looked down at the closed book in her lap.
Lifting her chin, “may I kiss you?” He was afraid maybe that’s what had been upsetting her today.
Mac was lost in his eyes and her own turmoil. After last night’s kiss she wasn’t sure she could keep this light, but she was afraid of losing everything they already had.
Her silence spoke volumes to Harm. Letting go of her chin, he leaned back a bit. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to impose myself like that.” His voice was soft and contrite. A fear bordering on panic was beginning to rise through him.
Quickly, Mac grabbed his hand.
“Wait. You haven’t imposed yourself.” Mac looked down at the hand she had just grabbed.
“I don’t understand. Just now, you didn’t say anything. I thought you didn’t want me to…”
“I don’t want to lose all we’ve accomplished these last weeks.” She couldn’t look up at him.
“I don’t think I understand, why would we lose everything over a kiss?” Harm really didn’t understand.
Mac didn’t know what to say. This was so important, they’d made so many plans.
Trying to read the answers in her eyes, Harm clearly saw fear. The same fear he’d seen earlier in the day. But fear of what, why would she think they’d lose what they already had?
Suddenly the proverbial light bulb went off in his head. Harm’s jaw dropped open when he understood, she thought he expected this to lead to sex. So that was the white elephant they’d been walking around all day.
“Mac, if I promise, all I want is a kiss, may I kiss you?”
Finding no words, fighting the fear, Mac nodded her head yes.
Very carefully, Harm placed one hand under her chin, one hand on the small of her back, and leaned in for a short, sweet, kiss in which he hoped she could feel all the love in his heart despite the longing in his loins.
Pulling away. Her eyes were still closed when Harm spoke.
“I hope you know I would never expect anything of you, nor would I ask for more than you’re willing to give.” Harm let go of her chin and took hold of her hand.
“I don’t ever want you to be afraid of me, Mac. I would never intentionally do anything to hurt you, please believe me.”
“It’s not the intentionally I’m worried about.” Mac tried to smile.
Harm pulled Mac into his arms and softly caressed her back with his hand. Speaking into the top of her head, “I’m sorry for all the stupid things I’ve done through the years and all the times I’ve hurt you. If I promise we can take this VERY slowly, will you forgive me and let me try again?” Harm wanted to see the look in her eyes but didn’t dare let go of her.
Mac nodded yes into Harm’s shoulder as a small tear fell from each eye.
“It’s been a long day, why don’t we get some sleep.” Harm was still holding her tightly.
Lifting her head away from his shoulder, “I think that’s a good idea.” She quickly swiped the tears away with her hand, hoping Harm hadn’t noticed.
Harm helped her off the sofa and together they walked into their room. Quietly, they got ready for bed, Mac snuggling up to the edge of her side of the bed and Harm secure on his side.
Sunday came and went with little happening. Catherine was spending most of the day sleeping so Andy had told Harm not to bother coming. Mattie was home from her friend’s house but had only come over for dinner. Mac and Harm functioned with the same rapport they’d developed over the weeks. Yesterday’s incidents hadn’t appeared to leave any damage. The two friends retired for bed the same way they had every other night for the last three weeks.
Mac had never been one to sleep well. Except for having to get up to feed the baby, since she’d been staying with Harm she had been sleeping soundly through the night. Tonight was the first time she’d woken up for something other than the baby. Only a few hours after having gone to bed, Mac found herself unable to sleep.
It started with a strong sense of warmth. Slowly as she became more conscious of her surroundings, she realized she had moved towards the middle of the bed and the warmth she’d been enjoying was originating from one Harmon Rabb.
Harm was sleeping face down, nuzzled up next her. His left hand was resting heavily on her shoulder, his arm barely brushing against her breast. She could tell by his steady breathing, Harm was soundly asleep.
Mac tried to ignore him and go back to sleep. Not much time had passed when Harm shifted moving his arm down and wrapping it around her stomach and waist, pulling her more tightly against him. Having turned his face towards her, she could feel his slow steady breath hot on her shoulder. She willed her body not to react, it wasn’t cooperating. Her breathing was becoming more rapid as her mind raced through images of her and Harm on a dock in Norfolk, on a porch in Maclean, under the mistletoe, and most definitely standing by a corvette. Only one more week she thought to herself. You can do this.
As if some inner alarm that sounds whenever Mac is in distress had gone off, Harm was slowly being dragged into consciousness. Now fully awake, he realized he was not only draped around Mac, but she was awake.
It only took his body an instant to react to her warm flesh under his. He made a failed attempt to inconspicuously remove his hand and put himself at a safer distance.
“I didn’t mean to wake you.” Mac whispered.
“No, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to invade your space.” Harm was mortified after yesterday’s promises.
“Neither of us can help what we do in our sleep.” Mac tried to shrug.
She rolled onto her side facing him. “I’m sorry if I’ve made you uncomfortable.”
He stretched his hand out to brush a strand of hair away from her face. Her eyes closed tight at the feel of his touch against her face. She was so beautiful, but he had to keep his distance. He would never break a promise to Mac.
“Good night.” Harm said as he rolled over, turning his back to her.
“Good
night.” Mac echoed just before spooning up behind him.