Sarah
Mackenzie’s Apartment
22:45 EST
After dropping Mac’s car at her place, they had made the journey to Beltway Burgers and after arriving, opted to go through the drive-thru and take it back to her apartment instead. When they had got here, Harm had immediately started a fire while Mac went to the kitchen to fetch plates and two bottles of water for them. Now, sitting on the floor facing each other across the coffee table, both ate in companionable silence, each stealing an occasional glance at the other.
Eating their fast food feast, both sides of the pair were thinking about how comfortable this felt, how right. It had been so long since this kind of comfort level had been achieved between them, and both were trying to keep the conversation on safe topics. Work, friends, and Sergei all wove their way into their discussion. However, Bud’s trial, and the events associated with it, were not talked about.
When all of the “safe topics” were exhausted, the silence stretched once again. Harm, however, finally decided to broach a subject that had been bothering him all evening. “So, Mac, what kind of ‘funk’ are you in? What’s really bothering you?”
Knowing he would ask eventually Mac sighed, struggling with how to respond. There were so many things she could talk about: their close moment on the carrier, Bud’s trial, Harm’s flirtatious encounter with Caroline at the bar. The last had really upset her more than she let on, but she absolutely refused to go there with him. And then there was the...
“Mac? Talk to me.”
“Well, it’s a lot of different things, really. I just...” Trailing off, Mac fought to form her next question. “Harm, do you ever just feel like nothing in your life is right? Like if you could just make changes, the right changes, then maybe you could move on with your life.”
Panic welled up within him. “Mac? What are we talking about here? Are you thinking about...about leaving?”
“Honestly, I don’t know, Harm. I just feel like I’m floating along; that I have no real purpose here anymore. I mean look at me. I’m 35 years old, and I go home alone every night.”
“What about your job, Mac?”
“What about it, Harm? I used to be useful. Now, here lately, I’ve been reduced to investigating peeping toms and testifying against my friends.”
Harm was desperate. “Mac, what about your TDY? You won a medal, for Christ’s sake. You saved lives. What about...”
Raising her hand up, Mac halted his tirade. “Harm, look I’m sorry. This is why I didn’t want to get into this with you. I didn’t say I was going anywhere. You asked what was bothering me and that’s all it is, just a lot of talk. I’m only telling you how I feel right now.”
Taking her hand in his across the table, he replied fervently. “I’m glad, Mac. I’m glad you can tell me things again. I don’t want you to ever feel like you can’t confide in me. Whatever you need, whenever you need me, I’ll be there.”
Mixed emotions collided within her. She had trusted him before, when Mic left, and he had let her down. How could she trust him with this, with everything, now?
Harm watched the war playing out across her delicate features. The silence between them grew, and Harm was on the verge of filling it when Mac spoke, a soft smile tugging at her lips. “Thank you. I’ll remember that.” Again she broke his gaze, casting her eyes down.
“Is there something else, Mac? Something you’re not telling me?”
The man was entirely too perceptive. Gulping once, Mac still decided to keep it to herself. It wasn’t his problem and besides, she didn’t want him to worry about her. Well...maybe a little. Shaking her head firmly, she let the lie roll off her tongue. “No, Harm. That’s it. Really.”Giving his hand a squeeze, she let go, moving her hand back to her plate to play with her food.
Harm knew there was something more, but he also knew not to press her. She’d tell him when she was ready. Until then, he would wait, just being content to spend time with her. And now, with just the roaring fire illuminating the room, all Harm could do was stare at her, watching the light as it danced across her skin. Looking at her intently, Harm studied every line of her face, as if looking long enough would etch every detail in to his memory. Although, he didn’t really need it. Every detail was already there.
Still looking down at the rest of her uneaten sandwich, never meeting his eyes, she spoke softly. “What are you staring at, Harm?”
His husky whisper floated across the small space separating them. “You.”
“Why?” she asked, finally meeting his intense gaze.
“Because you’re beautiful.”
Her breath locked in her chest. How was she supposed to...
The ringing of the telephone snapped her out of her thoughts. “Um, hold on, Harm. I’ll be right back.”
Moving across the room, Mac just made it to the phone before the machine picked up. “Mackenzie.”
The distorted voice hissed through the line. “Sarah Mackenzie.”
Her voice wavered slightly and her hand gripped the phone tighter. “Yes.”
“How does it feel, Sarah? Knowing that I can see you? Knowing that I’m watching you with him now?”
“What do you want?” she asked tightly.
The maniacal laughter chilled her, seeming to go on forever, and Mac slammed the receiver down in the cradle.
Jumping slightly, Mac felt his hand come to rest on her shoulder. “Mac? Are you okay?”
“Um, yeah. I’m fine, Harm,” she answered quickly, too quickly.
“Mac, you’re trembling. Who was that?” he questioned, wrapping his arms around her.
Allowing herself to be held for a moment, comforted by his strong arms, Mac almost felt safe. Almost. Pulling away, Mac completely disengaged herself from him before replying. “It was nothing. Just a prank phone call.”
Unsatisfied with her answer, Harm tried again. “Are you sure, Mac?”
“Yeah, really I’m fine, Harm.” Her fear for him almost crippled her. “Look, Harm, it’s getting late. If you want you can stay here.”
“Well, if it’s all the same, I should probably head home.” He didn’t know if he could make it all night, in the same apartment, with her. So close and yet, so far away.
Even though she understood, Mac turned away before he could see the disappointment in her eyes. Heading toward the door, she waited until he had his coat on before opening it for him.
“Be careful driving home, Harm.”
“I will, Marine. I promise.” Before she could even react, Harm placed a delicate kiss good night on her slightly parted lips. Before he gave into temptation to deepen it, Harm pulled away. Tracing a finger lightly across her cheek, he whispered, “Night, Mac. Pleasant dreams.”
Mesmerized by his feathery touch, Mac said her soft farewell. “Night, Harm.”
And with that, Harm was gone, leaving Mac
alone with all her unspoken fear.