| 26/9/2003. Superior Beings I submit myself to you Every part of me I offer it up You are what I want to be I give you my eyes Close them at night to keep out the dark I give you my lips My bite is worse than my bark I give you my hands Take them and shield out the cold I give you my mind My thoughts, precious as gold I am beneath you You are far above me I offer a prayer And I long to be free |
| New Poetry |
| Poetry from 2003 onwards lies here. You can see I've had a busy year so far... heehee. Read and please comment, I like getting feedback :) |
| 16/2/2003. Hold Tight (relating to the events which occurred during 'Satellite News') Hold me now Take away my pain Squeeze me tight Make me whole again As the world slips by Let me cling to you Help me breathe And get me through Have your arms Encircle me To show that here You'll always be Let me sink deep Into your embrace So that your body Shields my face Catch my tears As each one falls To prove to me You are my all Support me so I don't feel sore Till all the hurt Matters no more Sing the words Without tune and then Smile till my mind Is clean again Another one for Laura She knows the story and she'll understand why xxxx |
| 21/2/2003. Happy Too Everything is nothing and nothing is everything All is absorbed in the core of the soul Ten thousand somethings do not denote intelligence Adding more common sense fails to fill the hole Feeling happy in you Makes all that you create Happy too Are you satisfied with the way that you live? Never cease to question and amaze youself If meaning is clear do not bathe it in shadow The open expressers are the greatest in wealth Showing the smile in you Makes all that you touch Happy too Disproval is merely approval in disguise Never stop improving your ideas Nurture and build and give light to grow Do not strangle or choke with the thorns of your fears Releasing the potential in you Makes all that you produce Happy too Positivity leads to the beautiful and breathtaking Be sure to stress this to every person you adore Don't hold back when presenting yourself You will become, as you develop, so much more Revealing the truth in you Makes all that you love Happy too So surely a little Happiness can't hurt? |
| 3/3/2003. Handpicked By Fate (a song) You are all I admire, the one that I follow, Priceless, you inspire, without you I am hollow. Pre-chorus: People say it was natural selection, The way we found in each other such simple perfection. Chorus: But he is my rock and he'll stand by you Such a small thing the best you can do Hold tight, steadfast, don't let go He'll see you through and he loves you so. You are my soul, I watch you catch fire, The half of my whole, as a team we climb higher. Pre-chorus Chorus See me, show me, lead me, know me. Keep him around to fix those feet on the ground. Kiss him, near him, hold him, steer him. But although you've found love with him You and I are bound, bound by something Unbreakable, pure, handpicked by Fate, My best friend, my match, my one soulmate. Pre-chorus Such simple perfection. (For Laura + Ant: perfect match xxx) |
| 17/4/2003. Repeat 1 (Song of the Insomniac) This song stuck on repeat The same words again and again Reiterate, remind, remember Times I would rather forget. And it starts again The words bleed into the air Into my skull, clinging to My memories afterwards. The moon, a flawless orb Glistens, parts stifling darkness Lifts the blanket Reveals the world. When the switch goes Silence lingers and sound Is lost completely It evacuates into nothing. "These smiling eyes are just a mirror for the sun..." Play a different song But continue repetition Until it burns into my brain Retrieval cues created longafter. Soft sweet sarcasm Irish lilt, Geordie tone Salute the world Never forget me. When the room empties Song plays on Long time, again, and more So silence hesitates. Thick, sticky residue Holds clinging control to the Pure, white desk, like semen To the skin of a virgin. Drunken words are re-read Penned in unsteady hand Treasured forever as a Reminder of dependence. Swollen limbs ache as Black and blue forms on knees and Elbows, spreading and puckering Until pain holds me here. Mingling of music and tears In my insomniac world where The same lyrics after one another Carry new meaning. "Little lune, all day..." Tomorrow I would like To start again, as the songs Alter I would like to too I had a dream about you. Kissing wordlessly, lips Join, bodies unite, hands Clasp with need so great But that is only temporary. As when I wake the feelings flee They are fleeting Hear me now, guitar solo So slow, see me cry. Friendship carries more weight Than sex and intimacy It has to or nothing matters Force me to forget meaningless dreams. The ligaments and tendons that Link my muscles feel like Chewing gum that has been stretched They will never be the same. Identical song, identical tune Vibrating from wall to wall I can almost see the notes Somersaulting above me, in the air. "Dream of californication..." Two clicks later Thoughts are only company in Restless, relentless twilight realm My blanket smells like your skin. Where are the stars? The moon has engulfed them They are lost as finally Darkness takes my sight. Longing prolongs without the songs Make me see that alone I am worthy of more than with you I could ever be. Disbelief, I dread denial Wordplay spins my utterances Into a chaos beyond comprehension Let me forget. One more time Final track plays on My repetition must stop Or there will never be healing. Night is torture. |
| 13/5/2003. Dusk Glistening orb of sunshine sinks low. The horizon welcomes it without hesitation, Letting it submerge itself in the blackening line. It disappears before my eyes. Out of sight, out of mind... Lush green leaves transform to darkening outlines, Silhouettes, shadows of something so alive. By day they stretch languidly in pools of Sparkling sunbeams, yet by night They become skeletal. I imagine an artist, brush in hand, Mixing a wash of colour - a cool, dusky blue, And painting it with a sweep of his measured hand Across the sky. The ultimate canvas is created, Paint bleeds between the trees. Canvas darkens, splashed with red As though its creator had made a fatal error. A tie dye effect, shifting and drifting, Clouds intersect and fade to nothing. Branches wave goodbye as darkness smothers. The great gleaming eye of the sun, A misty pupil fringed with blur of colour, Closes and the face of our world is featureless. It makes me think that phrase is mistaken, for Although the sun's gazes is penetrated by night, The world remains. As do I, and as do you. For all those people who will still be there when the sun comes up. You know who you are xxxxx |
| 6/6/2003. She Will Find Her Voice (pointless song) The sky will fall Before you know it You've got it all But you don't show it (Where have you been?) The earth will crack Beneath your feet Read that back Before you hit delete (What the hell have you done?) Chorus: Don't leave her there in your head Imprison her some place else instead Don't make her do it Don't make her teach you the lesson ... though You deserve it, every single bit Turn your butt around and go Her heart will break Between your fingers Think before you take The memory lingers (No one will pull you back) You will see red In her blue eyes The evil has bled Into the tears she cries (No one will aid your escape) Chorus A single drop of her blood will leak She will find her voice and speak Suddenly she's not so meek She'll kick your ass into next week Don't push her body so hard rough fast She's on the edge and there at last She will jump before she is cast Her reflection shatters into the past Don't leave her Imprison her You won't do her wrong or Break her, she's strong While you ain't unsinkable You will see red in her blue eyes The evil has bled into the tears she cries The evil has bled into the tears she cries For you For you The tears she cries for you |
| 10/6/2003. Heavy Metal Systematic Chauvenistic Don't you panic Get sadistic Homicide Fuck your pride Treat yourself Suicide Soul mate Out of date Don't stare Don't care Insomnia strike Intense dislike Revenge is sweeter If you bleed her dry Attitude Oh that's crude How I like it Be sure to spike it Forgiveness Oblivious What a waste of fucking time You did it now pay for your crime Element of surprise Open your eyes Look at me What do you see I ain't so nice |
| 30/6/2003. Sharp Tongue, Sweet Lips Paths cross in the dark Follow the light where it catches a spark Don�t stop going � persevere Intimate glowing and the end is near Explore ignorance Ignore adoration Adore exploration Crave separation People disappear from your life Replacements are mismatched They don�t live up to those gone before New hope springs and new schemes hatched Ignore adoration Crave separation Explore ignorance Adore exploration Dream worlds don�t suffice, stay right here Penetrate the shadows so you see clear Lose your tears and stop your rage Drop the pen and turn the page They let you down They see you wrong They watch you drown They don�t belong But carry on On a clean sheet you find perfection Step outside and seek affection Do what you need and reap reward Steady yourself but don�t grow bored Carry on carry on carry on carry on Feel the heat It�s no mean feat Your tongue is sharp but your lips taste sweet You won�t be beat So carry on |
| 6/7/2003. Splitting of Souls (a love song, in the sweetest sense) I could say it�s like the splitting of souls The end of an era that was once the whole Of my world. Of everything that mattered for a while And now shattered in two. Me and you, separated, our wings unfurled. But all that flowery language can�t hide What it is that I really feel inside. After all, you�re just a girl. You�re just someone like myself, like I am And you�re living your life the best way you can And I wish you well. Chorus: I�m not saying I don�t wish we could go back To change, replace, rethink and relax. In the past you were more than just some girl It was like I opened the shell and discovered a pearl And I�m missing you already as the sun goes down But I wouldn�t change a thing, you know why? Because you�re happy now. I could blabber on about how soulmates can part I�ve done it for so long now, it�s down to an art. I could remember All the pointless things that made you you And how you gave me so much that helped get me through. But if I think too hard it would break my heart. Chorus One day we might just pick up where we left off It�s not so impossible a dream. In ten years when things aren�t so fine We might regroup in some brand new scene. Don�t forget me and I�ll do the same for you, Keep in mind every good thing I said coz I swear they�re true. Chorus I loved you, but the best things have to come to an end. Believe me when I say you were more than a friend You were something beautiful to me And you always will be. |
| 21/7/2003. Getting Up and Going I feel so frustrated, being suffocated By life - or so it seems It's utterly futile, like I'm going senile When I'm not even eighteen. I wish I was older, and bolder Had the courage to pursue a dream That's existed for ages, contagious, I'm falling apart at the seams. Time slips past me while I'm standing still I'm not going anywhere at all Surely finishing something I start will Prove to you people I'm not so small... But why, why should I prove anything to you I, I despise the dealing, and this feeling It stems from you. I open doors, already bored When I have a list of things to do It makes me feel crazy, being so lazy Moli�re awaits but I'm thinking of you I dream of dancing, ego-enhancing But when I wake I feel like a fool, Someone fuelled by illusion, trapped in her delusion Inactivity is my tool. Look at my face, look into my eyes Beneath the mask, don't seem so surprised I don't clean my room, I let my work moulder I pick up guys who are 11 years older! At least permit me to ask myself why. It's all one big ego trip for you Turning up at parties to see what harm you can do People say I'm over-reacting but I'm stuck in this place Where I see again and again your hand hit my face And I can't get out And I tear at my hair And my head aches like hell They think I'm hungover, they can't even tell They tell me it's what you want, me angry like this Stop pissing on my parade At least you weren't my last kiss. Butterflies in my belly, legs like jelly I hide and revel in the past Betrayal still haunts me, it pushes and taunts me I can't even move to make it pass. Gotta get out of this chair, go somewhere Instead of being so stubborn, steadfast I've got to take up all the plans I've made, so they are displayed Stop looking through me, I'm not made of glass. I've got to get some get up and go I've got to get out there and show That you can do to me whatever, But it won't last forever I'll still heal despite how hard the blow. |
| 20/9/2003. My 18th Year Oh dear God Jesus help me to escape myself I shouldn't blaspheme so much... All right, I take it back. Relax, OK? I always listen to Badly Drawn Boy When I feel like this I get all scared and suddenly It's like, I need this lift. He cheers me up. So what if poems are meant to rhyme? Fuck that, this takes me long enough Without faffing about making something perfect I'm sick of having to think so hard. Jesus Christ, oh shit. In 19 days I'll be 18 I'll have this valid ID, and the world Well, it'll be my oyster. Streets paved with gold, huh? God, what a cliche. I'm sitting here getting scared Wishing I was somebody else Somebody brave, and keen to grow up Someone not scared of adulthood I mean, argh! Old! What a waste of time All these years have been Hah, kissing frogs That's what I've been doing Not enough real work though! Hey baby, anna mulle piiskaa Crazy foreigners, yeah! I wonder if Mari will join them In years to come Will she be happy? Maybe Tom will sort himself out Up in good old York I wish I could warn those poor Yorkshire girls Of his arrival Hahaha. Perhaps there's this perfect Scottish bloke Waiting for me in the future And he doesn't know I'm coming But he's the One for me How cool would that be? Uh oh, getting too optimistic for me Better put my trusty cynical mask back on Everything is, has been And always will be shit, right? Yep, that's it. But I don't really want to believe that... |
| 26/9/2003. Disease Recapture the buzz Cloaked with fuzz Clog up my brain Cushion the pain I am small I am sweet I will fall Land on my feet Stem the flow Where will it go? Smash the shards Hit me hard Stifling Cloaking Clogging Choking Thud thud thud Reverberate and repeat Clear as mud White as a sheet Beat me up Kick the shit out of me Leave me for dead Leave me for dead Impure, insecure Explode my head Melt my hurt Into the dirt Liquify Heavy sigh Crumbling knees Disease |
| 2002/2003. Free When I see Twinkling lights above me A million or more, that's plenty I know who I am. Give me Some reasons, the strength to keep going So I am not to-ing and fro-ing Then I'll see who I am. Chorus: I may seem lost, perhaps unfound, just like my feet don't touch the ground, I'm starstruck, quiet; I'm touched by you, I feel so free. I'm so small. Believe this I'm not as stupid as I seem I know this life isn't a dream Let me prove myself. Just one kiss Wide eyes open like windoes Lips suspended, my face glows And I know my own wealth. Chorus This world is not so simple 'Normal' is fine in principle Life slips in when time wrinkles And where are we then? Don't waste time by standing still, Or treat life like its hours to fill, See the colours, don't smell the fear. Just feel free. You're not small. |
| 29/9/2003. Reborn This tearstained world holds promise for me no longer, I will dry my eyes, shed my skin and move on. Being this person holds no attraction anymore. I wish to spread my wings and take off, Beyond the here and now Into a place which holds new meanng Filled with optimism that sparkles. The inhabitants of this place are only those with invitations, The others have to stand at the gate and peer hopefully inside, And once they've earned my trust, only then will entrance be gained. I will close myself to hurt and pain, Because openness is destruction Only the deserving will know the richness Of my true being. I'm not that person anymore. I am new. I am unscathed, unblackened, unblemished. I am pure and clean. I have emerged into the daylight, A bright butterfly bursting forth from my chrysalis. The larvae which I was is gone. She was beaten by life, She was enveloped by pain, She was crushed by responsibility And smothered with affection found in all the wrong places. She was a fool. I'm not her anymore. She was ancient. She was scarred, burned, blemished. She was impure and caked with the dirt from beneath others' fingernails. She was nothing and I am something. She sat back and I speak out. No longer will I take the easy street or the backseat. You cannot walk all over me Because I am not afraid to scream and point the finger At those deserving of punishment. You will not dupe me into 'closure', You will not use me until you find the 'right man', You will not screw with my mind because I am too kind to reveal your cruelty, You will not blame me for your mistakes, You will not laugh at my misfortune, You will not assume I am weak or meaningless just because I speak softly. I am new. I am strong. I am pure. I am poweful. I am beautiful. I am resilient. I am steadfast. I am here. And I am reborn. |
| 30/11/2003. On Edge Teeth set and ground down Knots in my stomach, churning around Shivers engulf my knocking knees Heart punctuates thoughts in deep freeze Track my beating veins Measure the force of my head pains Follow the rivers of uncertainty Watch as it all gets too much for me Knuckles whiten and clench Lumps in my throat, a heart to wrench Impossible to relax my racing mind Notions further blinker eyes so blind Deliberation and apprehension Unyielding, unstoppable, unbearable TENSION. |
| That's it for now but check back on my Creative Shite page to see if the list of new poems posted has grown at regular intervals, if you're interested in keeping up with my warped mind that is. Click Home, Old Poetry or Other for a change of scene entirely... :) |
| 7/12/2003. See You In Hell This is me. I like the way my mind can sway words into new meanings, so they become something they weren't before. I adore the ebb and flow of confusion that shows I'm someone different to the next person, I'm someone individual and new and fantastic. Plastic is what every person is in comparison with the wholeness that is my being. Today and tomorrow you will continue to be empty shells. I tell the truth as best I can, and this man, this "speciality" I am about to consume, I laugh at your doubt that I don't know what I'm about to do. I knew and I do and I will and I keep doing it and the thrill is all-encompassing because I like to live life to the full while you bystanders watch me having a good time. I find that the less I think, the more I know; the more I love and less I analyse, the more I grow, and if I were to consider too closely my actions, that would destroy the satisfaction and every person needs to make their own mistakes. I take pleasure where I can. I drink it, I kiss it, and perhaps I'll fuck it. Who knows? If I look ahead things will just stop which can't happen, not now, not ever, not here. No fear. Accept and embrace me, don't try to pace me or I will be gone for dust, giving in to lust isn't a sin and if it is, hey, see you in Hell. Well this is me. |
| 15/12/2003. Confidence There was once a girl whose behaviour was detrimental, Destructive to the path she wished to lead, They told her she would never Fulfil her true potential She said to them there were more important things in life but Greed. And she would look up at the stars every night, Delight, a respite. And she would wish she could be up there in the Sky, seemingly so high. Up above, in the air, farther then she could ever care To be. See. And in her hands she held her ice cream dreams, so fragile, They melted away with her screams, and her smile. She wished, she knew, she fought and she flew. She could get through with just a little more Confidence. This girl, she held her head up and she pushed away the fears, She trod the path she had never dared to touch before, They told her she would never Find her way past the tears. She said to them I�m not taking any of your shit Anymore. And she would look up at the stars every night, Her plight�s end felt so near. And she knew where she was going for the first Time, sublime, no fear. In her head, in her mind, a stronger person she could find There, no cares. And in her hands she held her ice cream dreams, so fragile, Her screams melted away, but not her smile. She wished, she knew, she fought and she flew. She could get through with just a little more Confidence. |
| 16/12/2003. Delicious Rain and sun You have begun A train of thought So light and fun Lessons learned Battles won This cheery tone Is not undone I try to suppress This happiness Flowing, curling Through my soul I feel blessed With silliness Let me let Myself go Delightful Delicious Indescribable Wishes Come true Bollocks It�s all you Insightful This is It Hurt and pain And all the blame Have flown My name Is clean again I know that this Soft focus frame Destroys the shame Entirely sublime I know my own mind I understand the questions I don�t find that Indecisiveness clinging like Fine droplets in my mind Blindness has flown Confidence has grown He is overthrown And behind me This is delicious Delightful Wishes so Indescribable Come true Cast the blue away I�m in a better place Today I�m new It�s all you And you�re delicious |