The birthplace of dreams,
Where good ones thrive
And bad ones put to rest.
When I awake from sleep I feel
That I am surely blest.
Amen.
Believing lies
Believing truth
No doubt
Emotion, Care
Hindsight
All without
No questions answered
No answers questioned
No right or wrong
Until the open mind
Is closed
And then it's gone
I can't pinpoint.
I can't target.
I can't identify.
I can't connect.
I can't touch.
I can't hear.
I can't describe.
I can't obliterate.
I can't eradicate.
I can't illuminate.
I can't eliminate.
I can't see.
I can't sense.
Ever.
Never.
Nothing.
No one.
Is Real.
I can't be.
I can't flee.
I can't feel.
Half-truths
Monosyllables
Apologies
Fucked-up lives
Worn out
Browbeaten
Headstrong
Unsurprised
Secrets
Tangled webs
Deception
Cheeks turned
Shattered friendships
Emotional breakdown
Inner turmoil
Fingers burned
Swiftly dealth with
Sharply slapped
Painfully snubbed
And nothing learned
Messed up
Blown it
Screwed up
Live with it
Liar
I made this promise to myself
That I wouldn't let you,
Would always prevent you
From hurting me.
But slowly, when my back was turned
It seeped in.
Quietly creeping, then full on.
A burning mass, a pain so intense,
Sudden. Like the transition
From night to day.
Isn't that always the way?
One moment
You're in control.
And the next,
Where are you?
Well you're "in love".
Where else could you be?
Some place, any place, not here.
This is the last place I want to be.
I said to myself
That no matter what you did,
No matter what was said
My heart would remain intact.
But then, when your back was turned
It became broken.
While you weren't watching, paying attention
My heart was breaking, splitting
Gradually, cutting and slicing
Like the knife my friend took to her skin.
You made empty promises,
Said things without meaning.
Words that to me
Were everything.
Then, once taken away,
Nothing.
Nothing. Like you.
Handle with care.
My soul is fragile, my body soft.
My head is not always in control
Of what I'm doing.
And my heart is more than an organ.
Dreams contained in one shell
Thoughts captured in my skull
Hopes closed inside something,
Something so uncertain.
My door is always open, eyes wide.
I hide nothing, soul displayed.
Making sense of the world, my head tries.
And my heart, I wear it on my sleeve.
My mother always said it was right there
In reach of anyone, any time.
I just laughed.
Be gentle with me as a package.
Listen, look, learn, lend a hand
And from the heart of me
I will send you love in return.
Simply, sweetly, deeply devoted
To you.
Just make me a promise
That whenever you are there
Close to me, holding me, sharing my pain,
You won't hurt or abuse me.
Just tell me that when you and I
Are together
You will handle with care.
For Laura xxx
Let me escape into myself
Don't bother me for a while
Quality time alone just me
Offer nothing but a smile.
If I look distant don't pull me back in
I'm content inside my skin
Another world entertains me fine
There's plenty of space inside this mind.
You may see me lonesome
Think perhaps I need a friend
But for the trouble they bring
Company's worthless in the end.
You know I don't handle rejection well
Yet I can never be rejected by myself
Thoughts keep me sane despite what you think
Don't close your eyes, I'm gone in a blink.
Please give me nothing
I don't need a hand to grip
I can hold on fine by myself
Don't catch me if I slip.
Alternatively, let's go home :)