| A Matter of Trust |
| Adam Schiff stood in the doorway of his office, watching. Jack certainly seemed happy these days. It had been a rough couple of months for his friend; first the Scott execution, which he knew affected the attorney far more than he was willing to admit. Then the accident the very next night when his assistant Claire had been killed. Adam shook his head; he had been so sure the two had been lovers. Certainly her death had hit Jack unusually hard. He had moped around the office for a good month, looking like he had lost his best friend. Which was actually closer to the truth. And then there had been that business with the Travers murder, and having to admit to his boss and mentor that he was gay. Schiff still had mixed feelings about the whole matter. Jack had put on such a good front for so long that it was difficult for Adam to accept that the skirt-chaser actually had no interest in women. And it still hurt, just a bit, that Jack had never told him. He understood now, that Jack's reluctance had been a subconscious fear of exposing the secret to his father. He'd heard enough stories about the elder McCoy to know that the man was a sadistic bastard who had left his son with a fair number of emotional scars, as well as a few physical ones. It meant a lot to Schiff that his prot�g� saw him as a father figure; even if that connection had kept Jack from sharing his secret for so many years. But Jack finally seemed to be coming out the end of a rough patch. The past few weeks, and especially this week, he seemed much happier than Adam could remember seeing him any time recently. He knew that as a result of the Travers case, Jack had formed a friendship with one of the detectives who had discovered his secret, and kept it. Lennie Briscoe had a bit of a checkered history, but seemed to have his life in order these days. Adam was glad that Jack had found a friend near his age who seemed to have a lot in common with him, and who he didn't have to hide his secret from. That alone explained a lot of the relaxed attitude he'd seen recently. And yet � especially the past couple of days, Adam thought McCoy seemed to almost be glowing with happiness. There was a bounce to his step, a quickness to his smile, that said something special was going on. // He's in love. // Adam chuckled as he put the pieces together. He might be getting old, but he still remembered that euphoric feeling when everything in the world seemed right. He and Jack hadn't really talked about Jack's personal life since that day when Jack apologized for taking him for granted all these years. Maybe it was time Adam took a more active interest in his friend's life, let him know that he could talk if he wanted to. Adam wasn't sure he really wanted to hear the sordid details, but he was determined to be there for his friend. Maybe he should take him out to lunch � ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Rey Curtis glanced at his partner. They had been on stakeout duty most of the week, but for once it hadn't gotten boring. Lennie had been in an exceptionally good mood all week. Monday, when he had started in on the plumbing fiasco, Rey had expected a major rant, but instead Lennie seemed to laugh it all off. Of course, the fact that McCoy had come over to help him deal with the mess hadn't slipped past Rey's attention. His partner was dating the EADA. Rey really didn't have any problems dealing with gay relationships in general, but he had to admit this one was taking some getting used to. He felt strangely protective of his partner, almost as if it was one of his daughters having her first boyfriend. He had to admit he found it hard to comprehend what Lennie saw in the guy; far too often McCoy managed to project the aura of a heartless bastard. Lennie must have seen something during the Travers case, some vulnerability, some indication of a heart � // Thank god it'll be years before I have to worry about the girls like this! // He chuckled softly at himself at that thought. Lennie looked up at the sound. "Something funny?" Curtis shrugged, not even trying to hide it. "Not really. Was just thinking about you and Jack." Lennie raised a sardonic eyebrow. "And that makes you laugh?" Rey grinned at him. "Well, now that you mention it, yeah. Talk about the Odd Couple �" Rolling his eyes, Lennie just shook his head. "It's really not that weird, Rey � besides, I thought you were used to this sort of thing." "Yeah, but not from you!" "Oh, is that it?" Rey shrugged. "Look, if it makes you as happy as you've been all week, I'm all for it, Lennie. That is the reason, isn't it?" Lennie looked at his partner; he'd been wanting to talk about this, but really hadn't wanted to push the issue with his usually ultra-conservative partner. But since Rey brought it up� "Yeah, it is," he admitted with a shy smile. Rey laughed again as he saw the expression. "Man, you've got it bad, don't you?" "For a while there I wasn't so sure. Jack keeps saying he doesn't do 'relationships.' Until now, I don't think he ever, uh, you know, with the same guy twice. You remember what the guy over at that bar said about their clientele? He went there about once a month and picked up a stranger. And at first when we got together for sex, it was just that, the master teaching his apprentice the ropes, you know?" Lennie's face was so red by the end of that statement that Rey had to laugh. Lennie just glared at him and kept going. "But Sunday when he came over to help me clean up, it just sort of happened naturally, not like we planned it or anything. It was � nice, you know? Made me think maybe this might be something special after all." Rey gave his partner a good long appraising look. "You're falling in love with him!" Lennie looked away, suddenly afraid to meet Rey's eyes. "What if I am?" Rey realized Lennie was more than a little afraid of this. He reached out and squeezed his partner's arm. "Hey, it's OK, Lennie. Everybody's entitled to try to find what makes them happy." Lennie turned back to his partner and smiled. "Thanks, Rey. I needed to hear that. But � but what if I'm wrong? What if he can't handle a real relationship?" Curtis' smile turned to a scowl. His earlier protectiveness returned full force. "I warned him not to hurt you, Lennie � he'd better not be toying with you." "He's not, Rey. I know that much. But I think he's as uncertain about this as I am." Rey sighed. "I know better than to say don't give your heart until you're sure, cause that's not the way it works. So since he apparently has already stolen your heart, let's hope he knows what to do with it." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Jack had been surprised when Adam asked him out to lunch. Years ago, when Adam had been an EADA and Jack just a lowly assistant, they had gone out together often. But since Schiff had been elected to the big office, he'd had lots of demands on his time, and of course he couldn't show favoritism to one EADA of the many in the office. They sat at a quiet table in one of Adam's favorite restaurants, sipping excellent scotch while they waited for their lunch to arrive. It had been pleasant to talk with his old friend, away from the pressures of the office for a change. But he knew Adam had to have something in particular on his mind � "All right, Adam. What's up? I can't remember the last time you took me to lunch. Am I getting my walking papers?" Jack made it a joke, but since he couldn't come up with any other reason, he was just a tiny bit nervous. Schiff grunted, favoring Jack with one of his famous scowls. "As if I'd cut off my good right arm? Get serious, Jack. No, I just realized we haven't had much chance to talk lately. And given recent � revelations, I thought it would be better away from the office." Jack blushed as he realized where Adam was going. "Oh. Um, ok, Adam. What did you want to know?" "After everything that happened earlier this year, I was worried about you." Jack looked up, surprised at the sincerity in the gravelly voice. "It was a rough couple months there �" Schiff nodded. "You were so torn apart by her death, Jack. You really weren't lovers?" Ah. That explained it. But how to explain? "No, Adam, we weren't, at least not like you thought. What Claire was to me, I don't think there are words for. She was my best friend, my kid sister, my confidant and teacher. After the divorce, I guess I just put up the defenses to keep from getting hurt again. I'll be damned if I know how, but she got through, Adam. She taught me how to love again. I � I loved her, probably more than I've ever loved anybody. But it wasn't sexual. Does that make any sense at all?" Schiff grunted. "If you weren't attracted to men, you would have married her." Jack nodded. "I thought about it, even so. But she wouldn't let me. She said I deserved to find happiness with somebody who could satisfy me properly. I just couldn't make her understand that sex and love don't have to go together." That got a raised eyebrow. "Don't have to, no, but should." Jack shook his head. "Not for me, Adam. I prefer to keep my � lovers � at a distance." Another grunt. "Sounds like a poor choice of words there, Jack." McCoy shrugged. "It's the reality of the world I live in, Adam." "You're saying there's no love in the gay community? I think you're missing something, Jack." Jack stared into his drink; deep inside he knew Adam was right. For a long time, he'd gotten by with the occasional sating of physical need. But now that Claire had unlocked his heart, it had seemed somehow hollow. "Maybe you're right, Adam �" Schiff watched him closely. "So what about this thing with Briscoe? You've been awfully cheerful since you two starting hanging out together." Jack blushed; had his boss figured out what was going on? "He's been a good friend, Adam." That blush didn't go unnoticed. Adam put the final piece in the puzzle. "More than a friend, I'd guess?" Jack looked up, panic in his eyes. "Adam, if word got out, he'd be at serious risk �" "Relax, Jack. I won't tell anyone. But I thought you didn't mix sex and love?" Jack scowled. "I'm not, Adam. Lennie and I are friends, yes. He's � new to the scene. I'm just showing him the ropes. It's not like it's serious or anything." // Like hell it's not. // Schiff grunted. "You so sure about that, Jack? You've been practically floating around the office this week. I was wondering if you were in love." "Nonsense, Adam! Yes, I'm fond of Lennie, but it's not like that. Really!" // Really! // Adam thought it sounded a bit too much like he was trying to convince himself. "Well, whatever the reason, I'm glad you're feeling better lately, Jack. I just wanted to remind you that if you need someone to talk to, I'm still here. Always have been." Jack looked into his friend's eyes. "I know, Adam. Thank you �" The two men smiled at each other as the waitress delivered the food. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Later that afternoon, Jack sat in his office pondering the conversation. Adam thought he was in love? That was crazy. Sure, he'd been in a good mood this week, ever since that wonderful weekend with Lennie. Especially Sunday. They had had such a good time taking care of what could have been a tedious situation. Just thinking about it now put a smile on his face. Lennie was really funny, just a fun person to be around. And then that backrub which had turned into a makeout session. And the ultimate, taking Lennie's cherry. He felt himself getting aroused just thinking about it. It had been so hot, so good. Somehow, Lennie's inexperience didn't seem to detract from the sex at all. If anything, there was a special spark there, something he hadn't felt before. // AM I falling in love? // The thought shook him. No, it couldn't be. They were friends, good friends, fond of each other, but that's all. Right? Of course. Lennie understood; he hadn't made a fuss about Jack spending the night afterwards, right? All that romantic crap had been left behind with the women in his life. He remembered that moment this afternoon when he'd realized that his standard one-night-stands had become hollow and unsatisfying. Surely he and Lennie had found something different; more than a quickie, but not pretending to be 'true love,' either. Friendly sex, that's what it was. Affection, friendship, sure. But love didn't have to be part of the equation, did it? Of course not � Continue on to Chapter 14 Send me some Feedback Back to the Story Index Disclaimer: These characters belong to Dick Wolf and NBC. I'm just borrowing them for fun, not profit. |
| Chapter 13 |