| A Matter of Trust |
| Wednesday afternoon. Briscoe and Curtis were finally ready to make a move against the Russian chemist who had killed Travers rather than pay him for the �designer drug� he had stolen from his company. The DA�s office was brought in to the case for the arrest. Jack couldn�t put it off any further � He walked down the hall, saw Adam sitting in his office, reading something. He tapped on the door. �Adam? Can I talk to you?� Schiff looked up, immediately concerned when he saw the expression on McCoy�s face. He nodded, beckoning the younger man into his office. His concern multiplied when Jack closed the door behind him. �Jack? What�s wrong.� McCoy took a deep breath. He really didn�t have a clue how his mentor was going to react. �Adam, I have to recuse myself from the Ivanov case.� Schiff grunted. �OK, Jack. Why?� Jack took a moment to compose himself. �Over the weekend, before Ivanov, the police had another suspect. A man Travers was seen leaving a gay bar with Friday night. They eventually found somebody who had seen Travers and Ivanov together much later, after the time the first suspect said Travers left his home.� Schiff was confused. �What does this have to do with you, Jack?� The moment of truth. �Adam, there�s something I�ve never told you �� His voice trailed off as he saw the confusion on his friend�s face replaced by something else. Schiff couldn�t believe what he was hearing. He had to be drawing the wrong conclusion. Had to hear it from McCoy. �Jack? What are you saying?� �I�m gay, Adam. I was that first suspect.� Schiff wasn�t sure which half of that statement was making his blood run cold. He didn�t know what to say. After a few moments, McCoy started talking again. �It was pure coincidence, Adam. I never saw the guy before, never expected to see him again. But the defense will surely bring up the previous suspect. I can�t be involved with this case. I might end up called as a material witness.� �And you didn�t tell me.� McCoy wasn�t sure which part Adam was talking about. He decided to keep it focused on the case. �I should have said something sooner. I guess I was afraid. Van Buren promised to keep my name out of it if at all possible. But now �� Schiff exploded. �Not that, Jack! All these years, you never told me? You didn�t trust me? How many times have we talked about you dating your assistants? Was that all a lie?� Jack sighed, his eyes downcast. �They agreed to help me keep the secret.� �So you could tell them and not me?� Jack shrugged. �I�m sorry, Adam.� �Sorry? That�s all you have to say? I bet you had fun going back to them, laughing about putting one over on the old man?� �No, Adam, it wasn�t like that. Really. I swear.� Jack�s voice was almost pleading. �Does Jamie know?� Jack shook his head. �She�s got a life, Adam. She doesn�t need my problems.� Schiff shook his head sadly. �I thought we were friends, Jack.� Jack looked up. �We were � we are. I wanted to keep it that way.� Schiff glared at him from across the desk, his thoughts a jumble. He shook his head. �Hell of a way to show it. I need to think, Jack. I think you�d better leave now.� Jack nodded and reluctantly got up and left the office. He glanced at the clock � 5:05PM. The clerical staff were on their way out, just the workaholics remained. He shut the door behind him as he entered his office and sank down on the couch. // God, I�ve made a mess of things, // he thought, sitting with his head in his hands. He rubbed his face and leaned back. Adam Schiff had been his friend and mentor for more years than he cared to think about. He�d been there at Jack�s wedding, and through his divorce. He suddenly realized how much he�d come to take that friendship for granted. Maybe that had been his mistake. Friendship. It was a funny thing; seemed if you didn�t use it, you might just find yourself losing it. He�d always been the type to keep his feelings locked inside. Claire had somehow wormed her way inside. He still had never figured out how that had happened. But she had taught him to open his heart in a way he�d never tried before. And now Lennie was doing the same thing. He smiled as he thought of the Sunday afternoon spent with the detective. Lord knew he could use somebody to talk to tonight, instead of going home to another bottle of scotch. His first inclination was not to trouble his new friend with this, but maybe that was what friendship was about in the first place? He hauled himself up from the couch and reached for the phone on his desk. They had gone to arrest Ivanov this afternoon; he had no idea if the detective was still at the precinct or what. But it was worth a chance. He had to go out to his secretary�s desk to dig Briscoe�s number out of her rolodex. It rang 5 times then finally tripped over to voice mail. �Uh, Lennie? It�s Jack McCoy. Um, listen, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to get some dinner or something? It�s been kind of a rough day, I could use some company. I�ll be at the office for a while longer. If you miss me here you can call me at home � 555-3958. I know you arrested Ivanov this afternoon, if you�re too tired by the time that wraps up, I understand. Give me a call anyway, OK? Thanks.� He hung up the phone and flopped back down on the couch. He�d just close his eyes for a few moments � Lennie groaned as he looked at the clock. 7:00 already. But Ivanov was behind bars. They�d tried to get him to talk, but the attorney sent by the Russian consulate put a stop to that. He really hoped this creep would confess, so Jack would be spared the possibility of a trial. But it wasn�t looking like that was going to happen. He happened to walk past his desk on his way out of the precinct and noticed the message light flashing. That was odd � very few people left him messages, and he wasn�t expecting any call-backs right now. Against his better judgement, he decided to check it out. Listening to the message, he sank down into his chair. There was a hint of sadness in Jack�s voice; he realized with the arrest, Jack must have told Adam Schiff today about his secret, and he guessed it hadn�t gone well. He jotted down the home number; by now surely the attorney had gone home. But when he called it and got no answer, he tried Jack�s office. On the fourth ring, a voice finally answered, �Yeah?� �Jack, is that you?� McCoy sighed as he recognized the voice on the other end. �Yeah, Lennie, it�s me. Sorry about that, must have fallen asleep on the couch. What time is it anyway?� �After 7. You still want to get some dinner?� �God, yes.� Lennie chuckled. �Where?� �How about Sabatini�s?� It was a little Italian place not far from Hogan Place, not real upscale but lots of good food. Lennie grinned � it was one of his favorite places. �Perfect. See you there in a bit.� Jack had already gotten a table when Lennie got there; a glass of club soda was waiting for him. He sat down, smiling at his friend. �Rough day, huh?� Jack couldn�t help smiling back. �I�ve had better. Thanks for meeting me.� Lennie shook his head. �No problem, Jack. I just wish I had gotten your message sooner.� �Wouldn�t have mattered; I was zonked out on the couch.� Lennie laughed. �Must be nice to have an office with a couch!� Jack chuckled. �It�s come in handy a few times.� The waiter distracted them with order placement, then they settled down for some serious conversation. �So what happened, Jack? You told Adam today?� Jack nodded. �He didn�t take it well?� �I don�t think the fact that I�m gay bothers him at all. But he�s not happy that I never told him. That I never trusted him enough to tell him.� �Why didn�t you?� Jack shook his head. �Damned if I know, Lennie. Back when I first figured it out, you just didn�t talk about it. It was 1978, a couple of years after the divorce. I guess at first I wasn�t as � circumspect as I�ve gotten to be. Sally Bell was my assistant back then, she figured it out, called me on it. Pretending to be lovers was actually her idea. Come to think of it, I always had the feeling she wouldn�t have minded a bit if it had been true �� Lennie had to laugh at the expression on Jack�s face. Absolute distaste. �Not something you wanted.� Jack shook his head. �No. Even when I dated women, I never liked blonds. And women who were so desperate to BE blond that they bleached their hair � no. I guess I basically just don�t like anything phony or fake.� �Well, I guess you avoid that in the gay scene?� Jack laughed. �Are you kidding? God, you should see some of these young studs, posturing, posing. Makes me sick!� Lennie thought of some of the more �flamboyant� types he�d known, like that Jade guy who owned the club. Jack definitely had a point. // better odds for the decidedly unaltered types like me � // The thought floating through the back of his mind triggered a response he�d almost forgotten; he felt heat rising up his neck. Jack swore Lennie was blushing. �Lennie? Does it bother you if I�m so open?� // Shit! Don�t want to say anything yet // Lennie shook his head. �No. Not at all.� �Are you sure? I don�t want to make you uncomfortable.� �No, really Jack. Just had a vision of this guy who owns the Jade Palace. Didn�t need that particular flashback.� Jack chuckled. �Yeah, Damian can be a bit much, sometimes.� Lennie laughed. �You can say that.� The moment of tension was diffused. The waiter brought their salads, and serious conversation was put aside for the time being. They talked about baseball, and local politics, any number of simple, everyday things, just enjoying each others� company. Relaxing after a long day. Finally, the waiter asked if they wanted dessert. They both opted for just coffee. �So, what are you going to do about Adam?� Jack sighed. �I don�t know. What can I do now? I made the mistake 15 years ago.� �Tell him why you never told him. He�ll understand.� �I told you I don�t really know why I never told him.� Lennie smiled. �Yes you do, Jack. You told me on Sunday.� Confusion was painted over the attorney�s face. �You said your old man would kill you if he found out.� �What�s that got to do with Adam?� Lennie just looked at him. �Jack, I�ve been a cop long enough to read relationships pretty well. Tell me he�s not the father figure your old man couldn�t be.� The picture in Jack�s mind suddenly snapped into focus. �Oh, god, Lennie. Was that really why?� Lennie shrugged. �You tell me, Jack.� McCoy put down his coffee and leaned back, hands coming up to rub his face. �You�re right, Lennie.� Briscoe chuckled. ��Course I am.� That got Jack laughing. �You�re insufferable, too.� �Yeah, comes with the territory!� Jack grabbed the check again. �You came out of your way, to solve my problem. It�s the least I can do.� Lennie sighed. �OK. But on one condition. Next time�s on me.� Jack nodded. �You�ve got a deal, my friend.� ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It was almost 10PM by the time Lennie crawled into bed. He didn�t even bother to turn on the TV. // next time�s on me. // Yes, next time he and Jack got together, he�d control the circumstances. An evening when there wasn�t anything more serious on either of their minds than the Mets game. An evening when he�d finally get the chance to ask Jack � To ask him what? �Hey, Jack, guess what, I think I�m gay too! Wanna have some fun?� He cringed at the mental image. Oh, god, this was going to be difficult. How do you ask this? What if he wasn�t interested? What if he thinks I�m joking? Or worse, what if he says yes? Oh, god, do I really want this? Lennie laid there, his thoughts darting in a dozen different directions. He thought about Jack, hiding behind a web of lies for the past 15 years. Almost to the point of losing his oldest friend. He knew as a cop he�d have to stay �in the closet� as it were. Could he live with that? He liked the idea of sex without entanglements, but when it came down to it, was that really what he wanted? Jack had made it pretty clear he didn�t do �relationships,� so Lennie didn�t have to worry about �falling in love� with a man, right? // yeah, right. // But underneath all the fear and uncertainty, there was one unmistakable fact. Spending the evening with Jack had left him horny as hell. He finally surrendered to the inevitable, his hand slipping inside his underwear to find his dick still half hard even after the barrage of doubts. He closed his eyes, imaging it was Jack gently coaxing him back to attention. He found himself wondering what he would find when he finally got the counselor�s shirt off � thick, soft fur like his own, or more sparse, leaving more skin to touch? Either way, he wanted to touch it. Even more, he wondered what he would find below. Would Jack fill his hand like this? How did he like to be touched? Lennie moaned as the thoughts fueled his desire. He picked up the pace, knowing his climax was near. He pictured Jack, bending over him, taking his dick into his mouth, sucking him in. His breathing came in rapid gasps as the contractions hit him. �Ohhhhh,� he moaned when at last his body was still. // Damn you, Jack McCoy. You�re going to make me actually do this � // Continue on to Chapter 4 Send me some Feedback Back to the Story Index Disclaimer: These characters belong to Dick Wolf and NBC. I'm just borrowing them for fun, not profit. |
| Chapter 3 |