 |
| Tremor Tales page 29 |
| You Made Her "Mum, you didn't have to change Liza's diaper. Whatever happened to you made her you change her?" "Oh you know I said that because I tremor. She'd gotten fussier by the minute From all the poop that was in it. And well, I thought I'd give it a try. It was great. She didn't even cry. You should have heard her giggle." "Giggle?" "Yes, my shaking made her belly jiggle." "That's sweet, but look when I pick her up, see?" "Her diaper's sagging down to her knees! Looks like I've made my last change." "Well, you can help get her potty trained." "No way! You made her, you train her." |
| Light Signal Repeatedly, my hand flipped the light switch And suddenly cops broke through the door. "We saw your signal, ma'am, where's the thief?" "Signal?" I blurted, shaking with twitches. "Thief? What thief? There's none here, see?" "Lady, your Morse code signal said otherwise." "My hand tremor flipped the switch repeatedly!" "Then why is there fear in your eyes." "Why? You just broke into my home!" They accused me of obstructing some rule And searched every room, but found no one. "Lady, no more misleading signals." They left then and I flipped the switch, and again Down and up, down and up my tremor jerked it. And back came the cop most handsome. "I was hoping you'd signal me back. Lets get together after my shift." "I signaled? Sure was a good one." We'll soon marry, so ladies don't flip Your switch to signal him, I've got his gun. |
| The Trapdoor "Choose a door!" cheered the game show host. And I faced the doors, more anxious than most. Door number one, Disabled, door two, Adapt, And door number three, Give Up. Years of living with essential tremor Had earned me this chance at the game, But as I looked at the doors I asked, "Where is Cure for me to claim?" And the game show host responded, "There is none, choose what is there." "Then for me this game I surely find Is pointless. I have essential tremor But I choose not Disabled, nor Adapt, And I certainly will not give up." Then, at his feet I saw a door marked Trap. He smiled, stepped back and I dropped through it. And I discovered a tremor-free future. On the trapdoor's underside was etched, Welcome, you have merited a cure By resisting the doors of hopelessness. |
| He Just Smiled Typed out a check payment to my doctor. Struggled to slip it into an envelope And my shaky hands made it take longer Than the Postman could wait. Couldn't post. I hadn't even stuck the stamp on it yet. Gave up trying to not place it crookedly. With no one but me to deliver the check, I got in my car, fought to steady the key Enough to get it into the ignition And lost more time. Drove one hundred miles An hour. Got to Doc's registration station Where I gave him the check. He just smiled. "Thanks. But late. You now owe me double." "Oh?" I said, and punched him for my trouble. |
| |
| Tremor Disguise There, now no one will see me tremor On my left side or my right, nowhere. Wow, I feel so free, so relaxed going About town, people not knowing I've essential tremor. Uh oh, the lighting In this shop is so little I'm finding My tremor disguise hampering me. Got to remove it in order to see. "Were you talking to me, clerk? Yes, I shop Here often for your many brands of pop. You give me credit for what? Not staying Home? Why would I do that? My shaking?" I put my tremor disguise back on. "See it now? These sunglasses make it invisible. A bit? Exchange these for a stronger pair." I put them on and the clerk in wonder stared. "Your tremors, they're invisible!" "Told you." My tremor disguise successful, I reentered the darkly shaded town And couldn't see my way around. I removed the left lens for sight more clear And exposed my left side tremor. Unnertved, my gait took on a wobbly effect And on my way home I 'bout broke my neck. But at least only half of me was mocked, While the other was thought steady as a rock. |
 |
 |