Issue 684, October 16th 2001
The next day he called, as he said he would, in time for lunch. And then there was dinner. And lunch and dinner after that. "There was a hotline going from from my end to all my friends as you do when you`ve met someone you`re so mad about that you can`t stop talking about them. But I never felt neurotic about Jason.There was a calmness right from the start".
A month ago, he proposed. There was no candlelit meal, no Jason going down on one knee, but it was probably the most romantic day of Letitia`s life. "I was wearing his pyjamas, no make-up and not feeling particuarly attractive, when he said to me `how would you feel about getting married?` "I think I`d like that very much!" I replied. It was one of those defining occasions where we talked all night and felt so in tune with each other".
The official engagement came a few weeks later when Jason, who runs his own media consultancy, asked Letitia`s father for his only daughters hand in marriage. "Call me old fashioned", he says,"but I am rather traditional". That`s not entirely surprising . His actress mother and muscian father were married 47 years, while Letitia`s mother and father celebrated there 35th wedding on the day she introduced them to there future son-in-law. "We're a bit of a rarity in this cynical world - two people from stable families", adds Jason.
It is one of the reasons why neither he nor Letitia, both 33, have come close to marriage before. "You hold back and wait for the person you hope will be the right one," says Letitia, gazing at Jason. "By the time you reach your thirties you know what you want and what you don`t want, and you`re lucky if you find someone who is looking for the same thing who doesn`t have baggage. You don`t need to play all those games. If you pay attention to the papers, I`ve been engaged and married more times than Elizabeth Taylor, but the truth is I`ve wanted this before and I`ve never felt this way about anyone before."
"I`ve had a lot of lovely relationships in the past but none was as serious as this. I never want this to end. I want to be with Jason forever." exclaims Letitia, flashing the 1.75 carat, radiant cut, diamond that was made by Jason's friend, Robert Smith who designs for a prestigious Bond Street jeweller. Their whirlwind romance hasn`t elicited any worried responses from family and friends. Letitia says it`s because they`re being sensible and treating their engagement as a period during they can be sure they`re making the right decision. "We have no immediate plans to marry so we don`t feel rushed or pressurrised in any way. My family and friends know this isn`t something I would have entered into lightly. They know we`re sensible and that I`m old enough to know what I`m doing".
The wedding has been pencilled in for some time next year."I`ve always like the idea of getting married by candle light " says Letitia. "It`s very romantic and terribly kind lighting!" It will probably be a church wedding and the dress will be ivory. "I think I`m on the right side of forty to get away with that" she quips.
Then there are the bridesmaids to think of. One of Letitia`s best friends is Susan Tully, who played Michelle Fowler in Eastenders and is now a director.
"She will, of course, be obliged to don the fluffy apricot taffeta dress that I`ve planned for all my bridesmaids" remarks Letitia, struggling to keep a straight face. "It`s the least they can do to support the bride. But, seriously, I have to think carefully because of my job. I`m under such scrutiny that I want to get the balance right. We`ll probably have a small private ceremony, then a blessing and a big party. I don`t want it to turn into one of those huge affairs where you talk to everyone but no one. I want it to remain our day".
You wonder why they don`t try living together for a while before getting married, but the idea is dismissed swiftly. "When you know, you know" Jason says categorically. "You enter into the sancitiy of marriage because you want to spend the rest of your lives together. We met, have fallen madly in love and want to make our lives together. Marriage is another step along that path"
You get the impression that Letitia is a woman who knows her own mind and would not be easily swayed by romantic notions of happily ever after, although she admits she has been swept off her feet to some extent. She has had several relationships over the years, including a recent liasion with comedian Ed Byrne which was not serious, but has never compromised in her search for `the one`.
"I`ve never been one of those people who needs to be in a relationship to function" explains Letitia. "I`ve had a few years at a time where I`ve been single and I think it`s healthy to have a period alone to help you determine who you are without looking to rely on somebody else. Most of my girlfriends would agree that it`s better to be on your own than lonely in a relationship!"
There`s also the proverbial biological clock to think of but Letitia who turns 34 next month, insists her age has nothing to do with her decision to marry Jason. "It`s not something that`s caused me much anxiety. You certainly think about children more when you`ve met the right man and I don`t want to leave it too late. But it`s not something we`ll be rushing into".
"Something has to give. If I had children, I`d want to be around for them" she says. "I had such a happy childhood and would want the same for my children. It`s possible to do both - alot of cast members on Eastenders do it - but I don`t know how they manage. I`m not sure I could give my all to both occupations".
It is a calmer, more self assured Letitia who has returned behind the bar of The Queen Vic in her old role as Sharon. When she left six years ago, having grown up on the series, she dyed her hair brown, then red, as if desperately trying to assert her own identity. "I was trying to find out who I was. I was a baby when I started out in Eastenders and the time away has been a period of growth for me. I was never unhappy there - only reason I left was to stretch myself. It`s very easy to stay in a nurturing and safe environment, which Eastenders was and is, but you have to challenge yourself if you want to develop. I feel I`ve grown a lot in the interim - both professionally and personally. I was lucky: my longest period of unemployment was four months - even that was fun watching Richard and Judy every morning."
During her time away from Albert Sqaure, Letitia starred in several popular series including Lucy Sullivan is Getting Married and The Hello Girls, but much of her work centred on theatre and radio, which allowed her to escape the glare of publicity. "Nowadays, I`m a lot more comfortable in myself and more relaxed about the public interest that goes with being in a soap. I have also learned to trust my instincts about people. If you don`t, you`ll never dive into life. And I refuse to live like that. Being in my thirties is also a much more comfortable place to be. I have stopped pleasing people - most of the time, anyway - and I`m calmer and more self assured than I`ve ever been".
Back when she was a teenager struggling to grow up in the public eye, Letitia lost a lot of confidence. There were the usual comments about her looks and fluctuating weight which caused a lot of hurt and contributed to her decision to have a breast reduction operation. "Backache had a lot to do with that decision too" she says. "But I was a lot less secure about myself and there was a lot of focus on how I looked. Occasionally, the attention on my appearance still bothers me - it bothers all women, doesn`t it? - but I have those things in perspective nowadays. My work is part of my life but it`s not everything and, no matter what you do or how you look, you can`t please everybody".
In fact, Letitia is so comfortable being back in the spotlight that she has agreed to stay in Eastenders for a further year after her initial contract ends next month.
After an anxious start - her first day on the Walford set felt like her first day back at school, she admits - Letitia is enjoying being on familiar ground. "I was shaking like a leaf on my first day and I only had one line to say; "Hello Peggy. I bet you didn`t expect to see me again", but after that it was as if I`d never been away.
Despite their on-screen "hand bags at dawn" rivalry, she and Barbara Windsor have a good relationship. "We camp it up like crazy" says Letitia, who has also been delighted to renew old friendships with original cast members Wendy Richards and Adam Woodyatt. However all talk of Eastenders is out of bounds as soon as Letitia leaves the studio, which can be anything from 8pm to 1:30am now that the series has gone to four nights a week.
Luckily, Jason has a demanding job in the media and understands the pressures of her work. But it leaves little time for the couple to settle down to domestic bliss. "Well, he definitely doesn`t love me for my cooking" jokes Letitia. "Sharon had to cook breakfast on set recently so I asked someone to take a polaroid and gave it to Jason with a note saying "enjoy this picture because you`ll never see it again!"
"I wondered if the producers had made a mistake when they invited Letitia to appear on Ready,Steady,Cook" grins her fiance. "I assumed they meant Can`t Cook,Won`t Cook".
Jason meanwhile is a whiz in the kitchen and has proved accordingly to Letitia, wonderful in every possible way "We`re both very romantic but the way he asked me to marry him would take some beating. It`s easy to say I love you. Love is defined by actions, the little things, and that`s what makes our relationship special. It feels so comfortable and easy without being boring. It`s such joy to have someone who gets what I mean without having to explain everything."
They sit, hands still entwined at the end of our interview, constantly referring to one another as they attempt to describe the relationship which has taken them both by surprise.
"Sometimes," says Letitia,"I think `what`s the catch?` this is everything I`ve ever wanted. Then I think `well I`ve waited long enough". She turns to Jason and says in mock accusation: "You took your time!"
