Desperately Seeking Solace

<Aline>

Andre-Louis words of love weighed heavily on her mind as she traversed the familiar road to Madame de Plougastel's home. If he truly loved her, he choose a very odd time to tell her with all that had occurred between them. She had been so afraid that he had died in that duel and it was all she could have done to keep from jumping for joy at the sight of him. Why hadn't d'Azyr the courtesy to tell them Andre-Louis was alive? And what if Andre loved her? Now that she had exercised caution over his declaration, would he ever say it again? And what did she care if he loved her? He was a fool for speaking so hastily!

Suddenly, Aline found herself pacing before Madame Plougastel's door. Her hand rapt against the door and she waited for an answer. If she could not speak with Andre-Louis, perhaps someone else could shed some light on the situation. Obviously, Aline was too close to gain a sensible perspective of the ridiculous situation.

Mme de Plougastel packed back and forth in her sitting room, anxiously replaying in her mind the unsuccessful interview she had had with Andre-Louis... her son. No. That was a dangerous word, even to think. Hadn't Quentin reminded her of the dangers of being too close. If only she could have been a mother to him!

A rap on the door startled her out of these reflections. She turned to order Louise, her personal maid to see to it but remembered she had sent the girl away, if only to keep her from staring while the lady paced. She took a deep breath and slowly exhaled it while she composed herself, then responded, "Enter."

Jacques entered, head slightly bowed. �Madame, you asked that I inform you of any suspicious behaviour amongst the staff.�

�Yes?� She inquired, her stomach beginning to knot uncomfortably. It was only a matter of time before the help embrace the madness of the masses and turned their back on their mistress.

�Mauban, who should be at the door, is missing, as is Venner and Claggar from the stable,� he informed her. �one of the scullery maids saw them talking to one of those paid agitators earlier and it looks like they�ve abandoned their posts.

�Make do with what you can,� she said. �Let me know when and if they return.� Jacques bowed and took his leave. Mentally repositioning the dwindling staff. Rouget was driving the young lady around and he could manage the stables with the aid of Madam Geuron�s boy. He could meet anyone at the door and have little Madeleine see to the mistress, which meant� Jacques was three steps above the landing he heard a rap at the door � how long had they been their? Racing down the steps, Jacques threw open the door and found the young lady waiting there. He paled in embarrassment. �Forgive me Mademoiselle, I fear my ear are failing me. I didn�t not hear the carriage.� As Aline enter he shot a look at Rouget who was closing the carriage door and scowled at him. He should have opened the door for the lady when he saw that it was not opened for her.

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"Forgive me Mademoiselle, I fear my ear are failing me. I didn't not hear the carriage." She nodded in acknowledgement as Jacques apologized.

"There is no need. I have been so absorbed in thought that I'd hardly noticed any time elapse. He quickly took her to Madame Plougastel's sitting room.

"Madamoiselle Kercadiou to see you Madame." Aline brushed past him, visibly agitated, and approached her confidante, taking her hands and placing a kiss on each cheek.

"I am so sorry to barge in on you. I should have come at a more suitable time� However, I couldn't see how I could stand to wait any longer." She sat down in the chaise next to where Madame Plougastel had been seated and waited for her response, fearful that plunging into the thick of things would have been rude.

�Jacques, have some tea brought for Madamoiselle Kercadiou,� Mme de Plougastel ordered, then took Aline�s hand in hers and gave it a reassuring squeeze. �What has happened, my dear? You look as thought the world were coming to an end.�

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"Either coming to an end or beginning anew, I know not which!" Where to begin?

"There is a situation which has occurred and I am most desperate to speak of it with you. It concerns Andre Louis and myself." How much should she divulge? Would Andre be offended if she were to explain everything down to the smallest detail? Gossip was not in either Aline or Madame Plougastel's nature, but would discussing this upset him? Better to err on the side of discretion, at least for now.

"After the duel, Andre came to me. We spoke for a few minutes. The conversation was heavy with tension and finally, Andre asked for my hand. No, it was not a request. He never asked, but stated, `Marry me.' Oh Madame!" She said, as close to being over-come with emotion that she had ever been before. "My heart is so heavy!" She paused, shifting her hands within Madame Plougastel's as she regained her composure. How similar to Andre she seemed, quelling her emotions to protect herself. "Confusion is the only thing I feel. Please, whatever advice you can give I will take it."

Mme de Plougastel had long had the impression that Andre had romantic feelings for Aline and, to a degree, Aline had similar feelings for Andre - even if she wouldn't admit them to herself. Deep inside, her mother's pride wished that Andre could marry a woman as good and decent as Aline, but his position wouldn't let him, or it wouldn't have under the old rule. Now the the new government was equalizing all citizens it was possible that there was a chance for Aline and Andre to work out - it was an advantage to Aline in fact for in this new republic, Andre's standing would be an asset.

"Before I give you any advice, tell me, how do you feel towards him."

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She took a deep breath and examined Madame de Plougastel's eyes carefully.

"Honestly, Madame, I had not considered Andre as a husband before today. The announcement was so impulsive how could I have taken him seriously?! Perhaps that is why I was so offended at first. He seemed to be teasing me but when I questioned him, he put on a mask right before me and I realized then that it had been ruined. Even if I were to say yes, I doubt he would allow me behind that fa�ade again!" Aline had nearly worked herself into a panic. "It was the mention of his feelings for me that first offended but that was due to the fact that I hadn't had time to consider my own feelings! Oh Madame! I have ruined everything!"

"Now, now, my dear," she said patting the girl's hand. "Do not lose hope. It takes much to kill true love, if that is what he feels... but the true question here is how you feel about him. I take it from your reaction that you have some feelings for him?"

Therese sighed and shook her elegant head, remembering her own mistakes of youth. Hadn't she to made so many choices that she would later question, later regret? It was impossible to know the impact of one's decisions. "Choices are all the clearer when seen as history, mon petit. Unfortunately, when they are history then we can't change the choice and must deal with the results... which is precisely what we must do." She stood abruptly and moved to pull the bell cord.

"The first thing we must do is go to see your uncle. We must beg him to end this resentment he has against Andre-Louis because we will need his blessing and he good intuition to right the situation." A tall valet appeared at the door and inquired to her lady's wishes. "Have the carriage prepared, we are going to see my cousin, Quintin."

"Not to speak out of turn, Madame, but orders have been sent out through Paris that none my leave without special permit."

"They will give me permission, when they see who I am," Madame said haughtily, though a frown creased her brow. When the valet left she turned to Aline, "Go prepare yourself to depart. I want to leave within the hour."

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Aline kissed Madame Plougastel on each cheek and departed to a guest chamber to freshen herself for the journey. It took too little time to complete the task. She neatly laid her garments (gloves and cloak) on the bed, tugging at the fabric to banish any wrinkles. This task had taken her all of five minutes. She went to the washbasin and, using the pitcher next to it, she poured the cool water into it and wet her hands, carefully dampening her face before blotting it with a towel. Aline was drawn to the window and soon found herself sitting at the bench below the sill, looking out at the sky above. There were clouds on the horizon. Dark clouds that brought with them an uneasy feeling. Madame Plougastel had insisted that they would be free to leave Paris once she had been identified, but Aline couldn't help wondering if Madame understood that aristos were the exact ones they were trying to keep in. She sighed and touched the pane of glass with her fingertips, the look on Andre's face fresh in her mind. The look of utter despair at the prospect of unrequited love. Turning from the window, she rested her elbows on her knees and covered her face with her hands. It was all too much to think about at the moment.

The valet seemed to materialize from thin air and Aline jumped when he cleared his throat to get her attention.

"I am ready." She said before he could speak.

"Very good." He stepped inside the room and assisted with Aline's cloak. She briskly tugged her gloves on and followed the valet silently to Madame Plougastel. She gave a weak smile to her dear friend and awaited instructions.

It was perhaps half an hour to sunset when Mme. de Plougastel and Aline Kercadious alighted the carriage set out with intent to leave Paris by the Porte Saint-Martin, they travelled with a single footman behind, and in less than a quarter of an hour the carriage drew up at the barrier, checked there by a picket of the National Guard posted before the iron gates. The sergeant in command, a surly, massive man, strode to the door of the vehicle. Madame put her head from the window to address the creature that stood in their way and received. "The barrier is closed, madame. Unless you have a permit, madame." The sergeant leaned nonchalantly on his pike. "The orders are that no one is to leave or enter without proper papers."

"By whose orders?" she demanded.

"Orders of the Commune of Paris,� the man said, studying her thumbnail. "If you wish to leave you must procure a permit at the Hotel de Ville or at the headquarters of madame's section." Then turned his back on her.

Mme. de Plougastel considered a moment, looking at Aline for support. "To the section, then." What was the meaning of all this?

The trip to the section head proved equally fruitless. Because her husband was who he was, because he spent so much time in Austria (where he worked to liberate the royal family) her name and his were on a list of those not permitted to leave the city. No terrible loss at the moment for Plougastel, who was not even in Paris, but a terrible thing for his wife. Especially with all the uprising in the streets of late. And poor Aline caught up in this!

When the section head refused them permission, they had no choice but to return to the Hotel Plougastel and regroup. The first thing Madame did was reassure Aline, then sent a courier to Gavrillac, whom she hoped could intercede on his niece's behalf.