So

We were really hoping for the team pics from Adam, but since he was unwilling to ask his friends to wear bowls on their pointy heads, the net was cast anew.

Pretty quickly, Sister Mary Catherine finds another suitable candidate, by the unlikely name of Freddy Gloria, and starts winding him up.

Fred's letter of introduction

Subject: critical condition.....

IS A PLEASURE HAVING THIS OPPORTUNITY CONTACT YOU ONLINE.

I AM A BOY OF 20 YEARS.I HAIL FROM NIGERIA.

I AM SEEKING HELP FROM YOU AND I NO YOU CAN HELP ME OUT.

MY MOTHER ADMITTED IN A HOSPITAL CALL GENERAL HOSPITAL IN NIGERIA.SHE WAS HAVING A PROBLEM CALL BREAST CANCER THAT IS ALMOST LEAD TO DEALTH, AND I CONSOLE MY MOM DOCTOR THE HIS NAME IS DR SCAPOLI AND HE SAID OPERATION WE NEED TO CARRY OUT FOR THIS CRITICAL CONDITION SHE IS NOW.

DR SCAPOLI SAID I WILL NEED MONEY FOR THE OPERATION TO BE CARRY OUT,HE SAID I WILL BE NEEDING THE SUM OF $1500 FOR THE OPERATION TO BE TAKEN,IN ALL MY OWN STRUGGLING I TRY TO ORGANISED THE SUM OF $300 AND I NEED $1200 TO COMPLETE SO THAT THE OPERATION CAN BE TAKEN SUCCEFULLY.

I JUST NEED YOUR HELP REGARDING THIS,ANY AMOUNT YOU CAN HELP KINDLY HELP ME OUT AND GOD WILL REWARD YOU ABUNDANTLY.JUST TELL ME ANY AMOUNT YOU CAN RENDER IN THIS SITUATION MY MOM IS SO THAT WE SAVE HER LIFE FROM THIS CRITICAL CONDITION SHE IS NOW.

KNDLY EMAIL ME ASAP IF YOU ARE WILLING TO HELP ……

AND I WILL LIKE YOU TO REPLY TO DOCTOR SCAPOLI EMAIL SO THAT HE CAN GIVE YOU THE WAY TO SEND THE MONEY TO HIM SO THAT THE OPERATION CAN BE CARRY OUT SUCCEFULLY.HERE IS DR SCAPOLI EMAIL… [email protected] …

WE AWAITS YOUR URGENT MAIL.

FROM FRED GLORIA

P.S MY MOM NAME IS MRS FLORA GLORIA…………………….. YOU CAN ALSO CALL MY SCAPOLI TO ASK WELL ON HIS PHONE# 2348033076121 ……..

Boo hoo hoo, my tears are drenching the computer screen and making the letters smear... Marg, however, is more kind-hearted and replies.

Dear Fred,

I am so sorry to hear about your mother's terrible illness! It must be
horrible for you eh? Who gave you my e-mail address?

I'd be happy to help you but I already spent most of my pogy cheque and
it will while before I get more so I'm quite broke. I have a friend who
might be able to help you raise some money, he is looking for some guys
in Africa who can play sports to sponsor them and I think they will
receive a good amount of money for trying out. He might have already
found some guys though but I can ask him if you want. Let me know.

I'm sorry I can't do more to help you.

Marg Delahunty
A great source of joy can be found by repeatedly asking the lad where he got your email address.

HELLLO Marg Delahunty,HO WAS UR DAY?I AM VERY HAPPY TO SEE UR REPLY ABOUT THE MY MOTHER ISSUE.....

I AM PLEADING TO YOU THAT ANY AMOUNT YOU HAVE WITH TO HELP MY MOM PLS RENDER IT DOWN IF IT IS $500 OR 300 OR 400 OR 100 EVEN IF IT IS $10 20 30 40 50,I WILL APPRECIATE IT AND PRAY FOR YOU THAT GOD WILL REWARD U ABUNDANTLY...OR U CAN GIVE UR FRIEND MY EMAIL ADDRESS TO CONTACT ME IF THEY ARE READY TO HELP ME COZ WE NEED THE MONEY VERY URGENT TO CARRY OUT THE OPERATION FOR HER....U CAN EMAIL THE DOCTOR TO HEAR WELL FROM HIM.... [email protected] .. PLS AND PLS I AWAIT UR URGENT RESPONSE REGARDING THIS AND I WILL LIKE YOU TO GIVE ME UR CONTACT INFO...SUCH PHONE# OR ADDRESS WHERE U ARE LOCATED...... THANX AND HOLLA BACK

Marg hands Fred off to Big Bobby

Dearest Fred,

I am so sorry that I can't send you any money right now. I'm sure that
you understand that once the pogy is gone.... it's gone!! I feel awful
but when my next cheque comes I will try to help you then if it's not
too late.

I'm gonna give you the address of my friend Robert Clobber, you've
probably heard of him eh? He's a world famous hockey player and now he's
in the business of promoting the sport worldwide. Everybody calls him
'Big Bobby' but don't go just begging for money! Even though he's very
rich and very generous he's also a serious business man. If I was you I
would tell him that you're in Africa and you're a young guy who'd
really like to get into sports! Tell him I gave you his name as a
sponsor and he might help you out with anything!! I know there have
been lots of young athletes he's given lot of money to. Just tell him
you're a football player. I attached a picture of some nice boys from
Jamaica that he made very rich an famous with Canadian money! It's
worth a try Fred!

Good luck! Let me know what he says ok?
Your friend,
Marg

We've already seen the Olympic Jamaican bobsled team pic. It's a nice prop, quickly letting the scammers know there's big money to be had.

Fred isn't willing to let Marg off without asking again for money.

I WILL DO THAT SIR..I WILL NOT ASK MONEY FROM HIM..BUT CAN U GIVE ME HIS PHONE#MAYBE I CAN CALL HIM TO SPEAK WELL FROM HIM...AND I THINK YOU DONT FORGET THE HELP YOU WANT TO RENDER FOR MY MOM...PLS EMAIL ME ASAP.]
Geez, Fred, do you think you can ask someone what the buttons marked "Caps Lock" and "Enter" do?

I just wanted to check and see how your mom is doing. Did you contact
Big Bobby? I told him that I gave his address to a 20 year old fellow
in Africa named Fred Gloria but he said you never contacted him.

Let me know what he says because I know he is trying to find as many
physically fit young men as possible for his Tropical Hockey League and
he said he has a sponsor with a lot of money. I'd be interested myself
if I wasn't a woman, and sorta fat, and old... oh well... the pogy
cheque comes in in another week and a half eh?

HELLO MARG,AM HAPPY TO SEE UR MAIL,MY MOM IS NOT DOING WELL AT ALL IT WAS DUE TO DELAY OF THE MONEY WE ARE STILL LOOKING FOR..IN UR MAIL U SAID U ARE EXPECTING SOME CHECK SOON.PLS WHEN U GET IT PLS KINDLY HELP MY MOM WITH SOME MONEY SO THAT THEY CAN START THE OPERATION ASAP...AND I HAVE CALL MY FRIEND THAT PLAY FOOTBALL TO EMAIL BOBBY AND HE SAID HE HAS EMAIL HIM AND BOBBY HAS ALSO REPL BACK TO HIM.I DONT NO WHAT THE REPLY BUT I THINK BOBBY WILL SPONSPOR MY FRIEND..PLS MARG HELP ME OUT OF THIS AND GOD SHALL HELP YOU TOO..PLS LET ME NO WHEN U ARE KEEN TO SEND THE MONEY TO MY MOM... Yes, Fred did pass off Bobby's email address to a friend of his, who immediately starts asking for money too. Of course, poor Fred's mother is still ailing...

Time to bring the good doctor into the fray.

Dear Dr. Scapoli

I was contacted by the son of your patient Flora Gloria to help with the
expenses of her surgery. Can you please let me know what her condition
is and what the cost of the surgery will be so that I can know if I
should help. Fred has been waiting to hear back from me but I would like
to know more information before I spend my hard-earned pogy cheque eh?

Thanks!
Marg Delahunty

A response from the eloquent Dr. Scapoli Binog

HELLO MARG,FRED TOLD ABOUT HIS CONVERSATION WITH YOU REGARDING THE HELP FOR HER MOM.

MARG,MRS GLORIA IS IN A BAD CONDITION NOW ,EVEN NOW SHE NEEDS AN URGENT HELP TO SAVE HER LIFE.PLS IF U CAN HELP THAT WILL BE GRATE FULL JUST TO SAVE HER FOM THIS.,COZ EVERY DAY SHE CRIED HARD AND ALWAYS PRAY HARD.ALL HER PRAYER NOW IS THAT SHE WANTED TO CELEBRATE THIS XMAS WITH FULL OF JOY.

MARG IF YOU CAN HELP HER I WILL ASSURE YOU THAT SHE WILL GET BETTER BEFORE XMAS OR NEWYEAR COME..U JUST SEND DOWN THE MONEY THEN WE CAN START THE OPERATION FOR THE FAST.

ALL THE AMOUNT SHE NEEDS NOW IS $1500,IF YOU SEND IT VIA WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER THEN WE CAN START THE OPERATION FOR HER....

AND I WILL LIKE YOU TO WIRE THE MONEY TO THE HOSPITAL CASHIER.HERE IS THE INFO OF HIM.

name !!! YAHAYA VICTOR OLUSEGUN

adress 36,OGBA ROAD IKEJA

LAGOS NIGERIA

MARG I AWAIT THE TRANSFER DETAILS WHEN U GET IT DONE..

AND I WILL LIEK YOU TO EMAIL THE TRANSFER DETAILS WHEN U GET IT DONE SUCH AS

MTCN NUMBER

TEXT QUESTION AND ANSWER

AMOUNT SEND

SENDERS NAME

I AWAIT ALL THIS AS SOON AS U GET THE TRANSFER DONE...PLS MARG MAKE IT SNAPPY PLS SO THAT WE CAN START OPERATION FOR HER FAST,

THANKS FOR THE HELP YOU WNATED TO RENDER GOD WILL REWARD U ABUNDATLY AMEN..

FROM DOCTOR SCAPOLA

Apparently, the con artists of Nigeria had a crappy Christmas. Boo hoo hoo.

Amazingly, payments to the hospital are made directly to the cashier, and not in the name of the hospital.

Sure, doc, she'll make it snappy.

Again, always trust someone who can't spell his own name.

Marg wants to help

Dear Dr. Scapoli,

Well I am very concerned about Mrs Gloria!! And would certainly like to
help right away since I just got my pogy cheque!! It might not be the
full 1500 but at least 1200, do you think you can still start the
operation? I can pay the rest later! But I think Western Union costs a
lot of money to use doesn't it? How about a bank business courier?

Marg Delahunty

And so does Dr. Scapoli

Dear Marg Delahunty,i am very happy to see ur mail,we dont like using
bank business courie,i prefer you send the money via western union for
fast pick up.
marg u can send down the $1200 like that,then wecan start the operation
right away,if you think western cost alot of money,u can deduct the cost
of wiring from the money youwnat to send,their charges rate from $135,and
if you deduct 135 from the 1200 you ant to send the you can send down $1065
for the operation then we can start the operation fast.

i can include $500 for her with my out of my salary,bvut you send the
1065 for her then i will include 500 for her so that the money can
complete and we can start the operation fast for her.

marg i want you to send the tommorow and email me the transfer details
when is been done,,

MTCN NUMBER

TEXT QUESTION AND ANSWER

AMOUNT SEND

SENDERS NAME

and dont forget to send it via this name YAHAYA VICTOR OLUSEGUN,AND DONT
FORGET TO EMAIL THE TRANSFER DETAILS WHEN IS BEEN DONE BY YOU...

I AWAIT THAT NOW THANX FOR THE HELP YOU WANT TO RENDER FOR HER,GOD WILL
SURELY HELP YOU AND UR FAMILY OUT.. Gee, I wonder why? Frankly, Western Union has a lot to answer for, if you ask me.

Well since it's my money I think I should send it the way I think is
best! Did you even check out the company I said? They say they have a
service that works exactly the same as WU

If you insist on WU then you'll have to wait at least until after
Christmas because I can't get to their office. I don't think Mrs. Gloria
will appreciate that you don't want to co-operate with my wishes!
Please check this other service and tell me what you think of them!!

hello Marg Delahunty,i am still waiting for the transfer details from
you today as plan,pls i want to be today so that we can start the
operation for her fast,holla back to me asap.

If you ask me, Marg is just too nice for her own good.

I had to drive all the way to Flin Flon but I did get to an open WU
office! I really think if you cared about your patient you would do the
operation and collect the money later but since Fred is a friend and I'm
really worried about his mother I sent the darn money! It was almost
all of my pogy cheque but I know it's a good cause! Please start the
operation right away so she can start mending!! I have attached all the
details that you wanted from the WU transfer let me know when the
operation is done and how Mrs. Gloria is doing!! Yes, Flin Flon is a real place.

Scapoli gets worried.

marg,why are u doing us like this?why cant you get things done for us?u
just put us in a suspense,we cant open the file u send to us even all
the operation in bank cant get it open,pls try and send the details via
email.

Do not send file to us pls ans pls make this happen for us pls and pls,,the
woman is crying wating for help so pls and pls help her and god shal
help you too,

pls reply back with the details asap. Someone pls tell Dr. Scapoli that the word is spelled "please"?

And Marg gets harsh

I have been away skiing in Saskatchewan over the Christmas holiday and
now I come back and find my box full of this from you??? You mean to
tell me that you did not operate on Mrs. Flora Gloria just because you
couldn't open the attachment???? What kind of a man are you??? You
would let her die??? I can't believe this!!!! You know I told you the
money was there, why didn't you go ahead??

This makes me wonder if you really are who you claim to be. If you were
a caring professional doctor you would have gone ahead with the
operation. Are you some kind of a flim flam artist?? You better send me
some doctor crap if you want me to give you the information to withdraw
your money!! I want a complete medical description of the operation
that I am funding IN DETAIL!! Or I'm going back down to WU to take that
money out! Considering Saskatchewan is in the prairies, skiing there is about as likely as, well, hockey in West Africa.

I want to see Marge lay down more smacktalk!

Nah, take me back to the main page