Lobster of the Apocalypse Has Arrived
Posted by Murphigius | Wednesday, December 22, 2005
Indeed, my children, the Time is upon us. There is no escape. There is nowhere you can
hide. Your futile efforts to escape are worthless. There is nowhere that the Great Lobster
of Reckoning cannot reach. It is inevitable. Harken now to my words.
Truly, mortals, Lobster of the Apocalypse has arrived. You plead for guidance. You ask,
what hope is there left to us? I do not bring what you wish to hear. I bring the truth.
There is no hope. There is no escape. Foolish Internet swine...how may I convey this to
your simple minds? "YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO SURVIVE MAKE YOUR TIME." Know this, and fear.
Ignorant Internet users, I bring you the warning that Lobster of the Apocalypse has
breached the Internet. Lobster of the Apocalypse dominates all forms of space, and shall
consume them. Until that day, consider yourself blessed, and listen to the pure
undistilled awesomeness that radiates from Him. Our minds percieve this radiation as
metal. Metal which kicks the ass of every man, woman and child in a thirty-kilometer radius.
Listen, in awe, and await the inevitable consumption.
|