{We return to the bridge of the Satellite. Mickey (Wearing a LOTR-style wizard’s cap and a referee's striped shirt) is seated at one end of the desk. Kenny, Saint James, and Orange Viking are on the other end}

S.JAMES: [Looking around] Hey, where's Freezer? I thought he was in on this round.

KENNY: Freeze's in the back. He said he was going to try to whip up some sort of Windows emulation board for the iMac. And besides, I think he wants to stay away from us until he's over his bout of "Jukebox Head."

MICKEY: Okay, then... We'll just have his character do what ever OV's does for now... Anyway, picking up where we left off; the party has arrived at the town of NWA - Pronounced "Nin-Wah". There's an Inn with a tavern, along with item, weapon, and armor shops.

KENNY: Cool! I need to replace my +30 Can O' Plundah!

S.JAMES: I still can't believe you traded the can for a lap dance!

VIKING: I still can't believe there’s lap dances in this game.

KENNY: I'll remind you that I got +6 across the board on my stats. That's a bargain at any price!

S.JAMES: You could've removed all the items first. At least the stuff that wasn't yours...

MICKEY: ANYWAY... Where are you guys headed?

KENNY: Tavern sound good?

VIKING: Tavern.

S.JAMES: Cool. But I swear, if this ends up anything like that fight at Rammerstein...

KENNY: Was it my fault that a horde of Orange Goblins attacked us?

S.JAMES & VIKING: YES!

MICKEY: You did sort of randomly superkick a dozen of them.

KENNY: And I've beaten every one of them if my kicks didn't keep going over their heads...

MICKEY: <AHEM!> Moving on... You enter the tavern. You see the innkeeper, the serving wench...

S.JAMES: Huh huh! You said "wench!"

MICKEY: There's a table in the back full of Mutants. There's another with two Vanilla Midgets sitting at it. And at the bar sit two large, hooded figures. Your move, SJ.

S.JAMES: I just want a beer.

MICKEY: Alrighty... One beer. 15gp. Restore +2 life, charisma bonus of +1.

S.JAMES: Sweet!

MICKEY: OV?

VIKING: Freezer and I sit and eavesdrop on the Mutants.

MICKEY: The Mutants are discussing a band of Horsemen that have been terrorizing the region to the east. The reward is 50,000gp. Dead.

VIKING: Just for asking's sake, do we even _have_ rules for live capture?

MICKEY: Nope! And Kenny?

KENNY: I grab the nearest wooden stool and smack the left hooded figure in the head with it.

[Pause]

MICKEY: WHY?!?

KENNY: Because I need GP if I'm going to upgrade to the +50 Cart O' Plundah! This guy's gonna be easy pickings, being drunk and all.

VIKING: But how do you know he's...

S.JAMES: Shh... Let the man brawl in peace!

MICKEY: Guys, you want in?

VIKING: Me and Freeze are gonna sit this one out.

S.JAMES: I'm moving to OV's table so my beer doesn't spill.

KENNY: Wimps! Ah, well. More EXP for me!

MICKEY: Okay, you swing your stool at the left hooded figure. You connect for +8 damage.

KENNY: Hell, yeah!

MICKEY: Unfortunately for you, the figures at the bar were APA-class Ogres. The one you _didn't_ hit - forgot about him, didn't you? - casts Beatdown on you. And you know what that means - roll for number of chair shots you're aboout to take and the damage per shot.

KENNY: Aw, man... <Rolls dice>

MICKEY: Hmm... Hit... Hit... Hit... Hit... Hit... Hit...

KENNY: I get it!

MICKEY: Hit... Hit... Hit... Hit... Hit... Hit... And hit! Oh, look... You're dead!

KENNY: You forgot that I'm wearing the Helm of No-Sell. That means all head shot damage is cut in half.

MICKEY: Point! Okay you're not dead. But then the APA Ogre you hit counter-attacks with Clothesline from Hell. And... Yep! You're dead now!

KENNY: Damn it all. Any of you guys have a Kickout potion?

S.JAMES: Sure, I got plenty! Oh, that's right... THEY WERE ALL IN THE CAN O' PLUNDAH!

VIKING: Don't look at me. Me and Freezer use all of ours long ago.

KENNY: Well, one of you has to know the Kickout spell?

MICKEY: As a matter of fact, _one_ of you does! You!

KENNY: Damn...

S.JAMES: Well, looks like we're gonna have to drag your scrawny carcass to the item shop.

VIKING: Oh, and by the way: Summon "White Hummer..."

MICKEY: White Hummer strikes for critical damage, Ogres are defeated. 2000gp each. 1100exp each.

VIKING: Damn, I'm good!

KENNY: That is SO unfair...

[Just then the lights in The Satellite flicker for a moment, accompanied by the sound of electrical discharge, and a *very*
girlish scream]

MICKEY: Da' Hell! <Yells> Freeze? You okay back there?

{Freezer reenters the bridge, covered in scorch marks and crackling slightly}

FREEZER: Ow...!

VIKING: Dude, what happened!

FREEZER: Well <CRACKLE> I found this closet full of old 486s in the back, while I was looking for parts for the Win-mulator Board <CRACKLE>

S.JAMES: SNAP!

KENNY: POP!

FREEZER: Fuck you! Anyway, I decided to try to try to lash together a bunch of 486 processors into some sort of kitbashed architecture to get some sort of decent computing power going. That way we could bypass Vince's security completely, since it's all Mac-based.

MICKEY: So where does the electricity come in?

FREEZER: When I tried to plug everything together to see if it would power up, I realized that one 100wt power supply wasn't going to cut it. So...

KENNY: Just how many did you try to stick together?

FREEZER: A dozen. I think... Things all blended together once the power surge fragged me!

MICKEY: Are you sure you're okay.

FREEZER: Well, the burns and lack of superpowers are a downer. But on the plus side, the juice seems to have knocked the jukebox out of my head.

VIKING: Hey! Silver lining!

MICKEY: Hmmm... Remind me to give your character a defense bonus against lightning...

S.JAMES: Alrighty then! Kenny's dead...

FREEZER: You <CRACKLE> bastards!

KENNY: <Shakes headJust how long have you been hanging on to that one?

S.JAMES: Freezer's gone electric, and... <Alarm sounds> WE GOT FANFIC SIGN!

[All scurry off]

[ 1 ]...[ 2 ]...[ 3 ]...[ 4 ]...[ 5 ]...[ 6 ]...[ * ]

WWF/SAILOR MOON CROSS OVER- CHAPTER 3

(Author’s note: I’ve found out all the Sailor Scouts’ names, so I’ll call them by them more often now.)

ALL: Well Whoopdy-FREAKIN'-Do!

Soon it was the Sunday of No Way Out.

MICKEY: Triple H was in the main event for the 657th consecutive time.

All the wrestlers were at the arena, even though there were still a few hours to go until the show started.
All of the scouts were pretty nervous, as it was to be their first time wrestling on Pay-Per-View.

FREEZER: Forget the demons and monsters and times they faced and _SUFFERED_ actual death - this is Pay-Per-View!

"Just do your best." Luna advised them. Some, especially Raye, still weren’t sure.

KENNY: [Raye] Oh, man! We're gonna bomb like The Shockmaster!

Raye had heard about what Val Venis and Ivory did to Chyna.

VIKING: Umm.... What _did_ they do to Chyna?

She also heard about some of the other things RTC had done, such as the Powerbomb Goodfather did onto Victoria, which hospitalised her, or how they had did a serious number on the Dudleys once.

S.JAMES: Things so horrible she can't bring herself to describe the details!

She hoped that nothing would happen to her or the rest of the Scouts.

MICKEY: Oh, please! You're in a wrestling show. What's the worst that could happen?
KENNY: <COUGH!>owenhart<COUGH>DarrenDrozdov<COUGH!>

A few minutes later Serena decided she was going to talk to Chris about what had happened on their date. But she wasn’t sure about it.
"I’m not sure how to tell him."

FREEZER: [Serena] Just how DO you explain to a guy that the fight was more fun than the date?

She had said to Luna, who was walking with her. "I don’t want to hurt his feelings."

S.JAMES: [Serena] I just know he's fallen head-over-heels in love with me!
KENNY: It's sad, because it's true!

"Just explain that you’ve already got a boyfriend, and that you’d still like to be friends with him." Luna said.
"Easy for you to say." Serena muttered.

VIKING: It's not actually that hard for you to say, dear...

They were looking for his locker room, but on the way she was greeted by a guy.

KENNY: Backstage at a wrestling show? What *ARE* the odds?

He had long brownish hair and a moustache. He looked like he was a shifty piece of work.

FREEZER: It's Tommy Chong!

"Hey Senorita." He said, looking her up and down. He had a slightly Spanish accent.

FREEZER: Or it could just be Eddy Guerrero
MICKEY: _Slightly_ Spanish? He's a half-step below Ricky Ricardo!

"What’s a little Mamacita like you doing here?" Serena sighed. She could tell that this guy was trying, and failing miserably, to chat her up.

S.JAMES: "Chat her up?" You mean "Hit on her?"
VIKING: Let's not jump to conclusions.

She always hated that type of guy, you know, thinking he’s God’s gift to women and all that.

KENNY: [Narrator] Sorry! I let my intense hatred of jerks color my storytelling! My apologies!

"Do you know were Chris Jericho’s locker room is?" She asked.

MICKEY: [Gurerro] You mean that big room marked “Men’s Dressing Room?”

At the mention of Jericho’s name, the man’s look darkened a bit.
"Jericho?" He asked, sounding a bit angry.

S.JAMES:[Serena thinking] Alrighty! Jericho - Sore subject!

"Yes." Serena said. She noticed the facial expression on the guy’s face. She could tell that he and Jericho weren’t friends.

MICKEY: Woman, do you EVER watch your own shows?

"Why would you want a loser like that, baby?" He asked, reaching out and stroking her hair. "When you can have

VIKING: [Eddy] A loser like me!

a guy like me? The girls can’t resist my Latino Heat."

FREEZER: o/~ I can't seem to forget you. Your Latino Heat stays on my mind! o/~

"Because, to be honest, I would rather die then go out with a pervert like you." Serena said.

KENNY: Now that's not fair! He's not being a pervert, just a jerk!

She was about to walk on, but then the guy picked up a wrench from the floor.

S.JAMES: A wrench was just sitting there. How con-VEEEEEEE-nent!

He hit her in the back of the head with it, knocking her unconscious.

FREEZER: [Stunned disbelief] W-W-WHAT?!?
VIKING: Uncle Eddy. In the hallway. With a wrench.

"You had to do things the hard way." He said, as he began to stomp away at her, knowing she was defenceless.

MICKEY: Okay, we've just crossed the line from "harmlessly goofy" to "Dude – what the *FUCK*?!?"

[Freezer starts making pained sputtering sounds]

VIKING: Umm... You okay, partner?
FREEZER: ...
VIKING: Alrighty then...

Fortunately, Chris then appeared. He ran over

S.JAMES: o/~ HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAAAAY!!! O/~

and he and the guy were soon exchanging right hands.

KENNY: Because that's when you do to the guy you find kicking the unconscious body of the woman you love: Trade punches...
FREEZER: Urge to scream... Rising...

Chris then hit the man’s head off the wall. The guy got up and left.

VIKING: And Chris... Just lets him?

[Pause]

VIKING: You had me up to here, Luke. Now you lost me!

[Others nod in assent. Except for Freezer - who looks like he's about to explode]

S.JAMES: You okay, Freezer?
FREEZER: [Breathing heavily] No... I... AM ...*NOT!* I let him slide on that whole "Sailor Moon's a wrestler" thing! I gave Bannon a pass when the Scouts were pulling off better moves than 90% of the WWE's active roster! I even accepted that they were using wrestling moves in the middle of a "real life" fight!
KENNY: [Aside to Mickey] I think I see steam rising...

FREEZER: [Getting steadily louder] But this... This... This is BULLSHIT!!! AND DON'T GIVE ME THAT "IT'S ONLY A STORY" SHIT!!! I'D BE YELLING LIKE THIS IF THEY DID THIS SHIT ON RAW WITH REAL PEOPLE!! BUT THIS... SAILOR MOON'S TAKEN SHOTS THAT WOULD'VE KILLED EVERYONE IN THAT FUCKING ARENA *AT THE SAME TIME!!!* AND EDDY TAKES HER OUT WITH A WRENCH!?! And instead of going absolutely apeshit on the guy the way a real man would've, Jericho just sits there and trades air punches with him! I mean... It's just... <Throws hands up> AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!

MICKEY: That was definitely a "9" on the Rant Scale.
VIKING: Feel better?
FREEZER: [Breathing hard] I will once I catch my breath... Just had to get that out of my system...

As he left, he turned to Chris and shouted, "You’ll regret that Essa! Tonight, I’ll not only take your belt away, I’ll take you away to the hospital, man!"

KENNY: So now Chris calls the cops and has Eddy picked up for Assault with Intent, RIGHT?!?

Chris then went over to Serena. He could tell she was hurt. He held her in his arms.

S.JAMES: He never would've been able to tell, with the kicking and the screaming and such...

"Serena!" he exclaimed, worried. She was bleeding from the mouth. He wiped the blood away.
"Serena!" Luna called. Jericho looked at Luna shocked. Luna only realized that she had blown it, and Jericho knew she could talk.

FREEZER: And of course he'd notice that with the "love of his life" lying broken and bleeding there...

"Did I just hear what I think I heard?" Chris thought to himself. He couldn’t believe he just heard Luna speak English.
"Don’t just sit there!" Luna snapped at Chris. "Call an ambulance!" She said.

VIKING: Once again, the cat is the sole voice of reason.

Chris didn’t say anything. He took off his T-shirt and folded it up. He then set Serena down, her head resting on the T-shirt.

MICKEY: Luckily, it was one of The Big Show's shirts, thus providing ample padding!

He then went to phone an ambulance.

KENNY: [Serena] Don't mind me... I'll just sit here and bleed...

A couple of minutes later, Serena was loaded up into an ambulance. The scouts were all there, looking on with horror.

MICKEY: As Jonathan Coachman refused to let them close the ambulance doors until he could ask Serena how she felt...

Amy had decided to ride in the ambulance with Serena.

FREEZER: And another round of knowing nods from the lemon writers...

"Let us know if she gets better." Mina said.

VIKING: [Mina] And if she dies... Well, we'll read about it tomorrow.

"Don’t worry, I will." Amy said. "Good luck tonight Raye!" She called, before the doors in the ambulance were closed and it drove away. Meanwhile, a few feet away, Chris was trying to get some answers out of Luna.

S.JAMES: Instead of tracking down and horse-whipping the man that did that to her...

"Okay, what’s going on?" He asked. "I mean, cats don’t normally talk."

FREEZER: Yes they do. They just choose not to. Evil bastard creatures.
VIKING: Cat issues?
FREEZER: A few...

Luna said nothing. She just began licking one of her paws.

VIKING: [Luna, humming] O/~ Hmm Hmm Hmm Hmm... Meow Meow Meow Meow... o/~

"Oh great!" He said, sarcastically. "Now she gives me the silent treatment."
Luna stopped licking her paw. She looked up at Chris.

MICKEY: [Luna] Meow, beeyotch...

"I’m not telling you," Luna began, "because I don’t trust you."
"Why don’t you trust me?" Chris asked.

KENNY: [Luna] Let's start with the fact that mentioning your name got Serena beaten unconscious and work down from there.

"Because, in my opinion all you wrestlers are the same." She began "Egotistical, self centred macho morons."

MICKEY: But enough about Triple H!
ALL: Ba dum bump!

Chris looked hurt by that. "I know I might act like that on TV, but I’m nothing like that." He said.

S.JAMES: So we should just ignore that whole pizza scene where you broke out your catchphrase and fought with wrestling moves, hmm?

Luna looked up. "Well, I don’t think that you care for or respect Serena."

FREEZER: [Jericho] "Care for?" "Respect?" What means these words?

That was another hard blow to Chris. "I care very much about Serena," he began, beginning to get slightly tearful.

KENNY: That's right, Chris! Reel her in!

"And I’ll get that ass hole Eddy Gurerro for what he did to her tonight! And that’s a promise."

FREEZER: Two hours later...
MICKEY: [JR] MAH GAWD, KING!! GUERRERO'S BEATING JERICHO LIKE A GOVERMENT MULE!!!

The other Scouts noticed this conversation and were listening in for the past few minutes.

VIKING: That took a few minutes?
FREEZER: [Slowly] Ttttttheyyyyyyyyy werrrrrrrrrre talllllllllllking lliiiiikkkkkkeee tttthhhhiiisss!

Lita cleared her throat, to get Chris’s attention.

KENNY: [Lita] Yo! Pretty boy!

" We're Serena's friends." She began, "If you promise to keep it a secret, we’ll tell you about Serena, and also help explain about Luna."

FREEZER: [Lita] We've learned to trust you after listening to you talk to our cat for thirty seconds.

"Don’t you dare!" Luna warned.

S.JAMES: [Luna] You know there's a gag order!

"It’s okay, I can keep a secret." Chris said.

MICKEY: [Jericho] For instance, I never told anyone about that time I caught Paul Heyman with that pigmy goat... D'oh!

"But what’s your names?" he then asked.
The Scouts all introduced themselves. After Lita introduced herself Chris remarked, "Lita? That’s a coincidence, there’s
another female wrestler here called Lita."

KENNY: [Jericho] Plus a guy that calls himself "Lita." But we don't like to talk about him...

"Well, I’ll just call myself Sailor Jupiter to avoid being sued then." She joked.

FREEZER: ...Lamely.

The group explained to Chris how Serena and the other scouts were originally from the moon in the future and how they were sent to Earth in the past to protect them, with Luna being a sort of guardian. They told him of some of their battles with Queen Beryl and the Negaverse. They, however, omitted the parts about Serena and Darien, and how eventually Serena would become Queen Serenity

S.JAMES: Umm... Why not? Seems to me telling him about her _literally_ destined soulmate might get him to back the hell off.
MICKEY: You forget that we're dealing with WWE-style logic here.
S.JAMES: Oh, right. "It's not supposed to make sense."

and how her and Darien would get married and have Renee.

FREEZER: I'll bet "Rini" would be pretty pissed to hear that.

"That’s amazing." Chris said.

KENNY: [Jericho] -ly far fetched!

He found it a bit hard to digest, but Luna speaking was prove enough to convince him their story was legitimate.

MICKEY: [Jericho] But wait... If you guys have got all these amazing magical powers, how come you keep letting those RTC assclowns pound on you?
VIKING: [Lita] Umm... Overactive sense of fair play?

"But do you promise not to tell anybody?" Luna asked.
"You have my word." Chris said. "Besides, no one would believe me."

KENNY: [Jericho] Including me!

As this was happening, there was a meeting going on between the members of RTC. They were all standing in a circle. Steven standing in the middle, with Ivory and Val to one side, and Bull and Goodfather at the other. Steven had a smile on his face.

S.JAMES: His tax refund had come in, and he had enough for that DVD burner!
ALL: WOOO!

"Tonight Ivory will be fighting the good fight."

FREEZER: Canadian rock band Triumph immediately filed a "Defamation of Song Title" suit.

Steven began. "Tonight, we will rid the World Wrestling Federation from the Sailor Scouts, once and for all. And it will be for everybody’s own good."

VIKING: Geez! A talking GI Joe doll doesn't repeat himself this much!

They then did the Right to Censor salute.

OV & FREEZER: [RTC] ALLEGENCE OR DEATH! BIG FIRE!
MICKEY: [Steven] No, no, NO!

"We are here in Las Vegas for No Way Out!" JR called as the event began. "I’m Jim Ross with Jerry "The King" Lawler, on a night where "Stone Cold" Steve Austin and Triple H will do battle in a two out of three fall match!"

KENNY: [JR] Chances are good we'll get a full ten minutes of wrestling out of it!

About twenty to thirty minutes later,

VIKING: Shouldn't you be more precise about that? Being the narrator and all?

it was time for Raye’s match against Ivory. Raye came out first, to a huge reaction.
"Sailor Mars representing the Sailor Scouts is set to go one on one with the Women’s champion, Ivory of the Right to Censor." JR stated.

FREEZER: The Department of Redundancy Department presents: No Way Out.

"I’ll love it if Sailor Mars were to become the Women’s Champion." King said before adding, "Mind you, I love her anyway!"

KENNY: God, Lawler! That "Dirty Old Man" shtick ran thin five years ago!

Just then RTC’s music began and Ivory made her way to the ring, with Steven beside her. Steven pointed to the crowd, insulting them for cheering for Mars.

S.JAMES: [Steven] Zero bars rule, you morons!
OTHER: [Crowd] WHITE CHOCOLATE SUCKS! WHITE CHOCOLATE SUCKS!

"The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the World Wrestling Federation Women’s Championship." The ring announcer announced. "Introducing, being accompanied by Steven Richards, she is a member of the Right to Censor and Women’s champion, Ivory."

FREEZER: WOOO!!! [Turns and looks at the others] Cheer, damn you!
OTHER: Hell, no!

Ivory made her way to the ring, at one point she pointed to Mars and said, "You will see the light." "Ivory getting into Sailor Mars’ face." JR observed. Ivory climbed onto the apron and got into the ring. A few seconds later the match had begun. "And this match officially underway, Women’s Title at stake." JR informed the audience.

VIKING: [JR] Oh, wait! It _wasn't_ supposed to start yet! Seems that our timekeeper's having a seizure!
FREEZER: Suck it up, you pansy!

Sailor Mars went for Ivory who slid under the ring and seemed reluctant to get back in.
"Ivory sliding out of the ring as soon as this match started! that’s ridiculous!" JR commented.
"She’s scared." King said.

MICKEY: No, she's a heel! Heels do that! Don't you people EVER pay attention?

Sailor Mars got out of the ring and began to chase Ivory around. "The chase is on." King observed.

[All start humming "The Benny Hill Show" theme]

Ivory slid back into the ring, and began to go to work on Mars when she got back in."And come on! Yeah, that’s fair!" JR sarcastically said.

KENNY: Well it is! If you're stupid enough to chase her like that, you deserve the impending beatdown.

The referee told Ivory to stop it, and was then the recipient of verbal abuse by Ivory.

S.JAMES: The referee - who was going through a personal rough patch - burst into uncontrollable sobs. The match was then ended out of sheer embarrassment.

"And now Ivory wasting time." JR observed.
"That’s good." King said.

FREEZER: Says you! The longer she takes, the longer we have to put up with this!

By the time Ivory stopped Sailor Mars had got back up and hit Ivory with a Belly to Belly suplex. "Belly to belly suplex onto Ivory." JR said.

VIKING: She then followed that up with a belly flop, then a pink belly, and then a belly rub. The crowd really seemed to get into that last one.

Sailor Mars then went to the top rope and attempted a Moonsault, but Ivory got her knees up. "Moonsault- no Ivory sticking her knees into Mars’ stomach."

MICKEY: And the redundancy count is at Infinity +6...

"Ouch!" King added.
Both were down and the referee began his ten count.
"Referee using a ten count," JR stated, "if no-one gets back up, Ivory will retain the Women’s title." "And that would be awful." JR said.

FREEZER: Says you!

Ivory draped one hand onto Mars, but only got a two.
"Two count on Sailor Mars." JR said.
Just then Ivory got up. She whipped Mars into the corner and ran behind her. Mars then did a handstand on the top turnbuckle,

S.JAMES: Panty-flashing the world.
ALL: Yay!

and Ivory crashed into the post.
"Ivory went flying into the turnbuckle." JR observed.
Ivory acted dazed, as Mars then hit her with a flying head scissors.
"Flying head scissors by Sailor Mars!" JR said.
"Beautiful move by a beautiful lady!" King added, obviously in pervert mode again.
Sailor Mars then went out of the ring and was about to do a slingshot body press, but Steven pulled her off the apron.
"Mars goin- oh but Steven Richards pulling Mars off the apron!" JR said in disgust.

MICKEY: Ladies and gentlemen - the redundancy meter just melted!

"Damn it!" King added, also annoyed.
Sailor Mars then low blowed Steven, and did a DDT on him.
"Mars with a DDT onto Steven Richards!" JR said.
"Take that white socks!" King yelled.

KENNY: Frank Thomas immediately appeared and gave Lawler the beating of three lifetimes.

Just then Val and Goodfather made their way down the ramp, to the disgust of the crowd.
"Oh boy, here come Val Venis and The Goodfather!" JR sighed.

S.JAMES: It's the return "Supply & Demand!"
FREEZER: You realize that maybe 5% of our readers are gonna get that?
S.JAMES: Don't care! Still funny!

"They’ve got no business out here." King added.
As this happened, Mars had got back into the ring and was going to work on Ivory with a series of punches. The referee climbed out of the ring and told Val and Goodfather to go away.

VIKING: Or he'd count furiously at them.

"Referee trying to take care of Val and Goodfather, but we’ve still got a match going on in ring!" JR said in disbelief.

MICKEY: Umm... That IS his job! Part of it, anyway!

"Come on ref.! Do your job!" King said, also in disbelief. Just then Bull Buchanan came out through the crowd and slid into
the ring. He kicked Mars in the stomach and did the Censor-Kick to her.

KENNY: And once again, if you didn't know what that was, you'd think that was pretty dirty...

"Wait! Bull Buchanan in the ring, and he just nailed Sailor Mars with a Censor-Kick!" JR called.
"Hey ref.!" King shouted.

ALL: SHUT *UP* LAWLER!!!

Ivory pinned Mars, and the referee slid into the ring. But to the surprise of the Right to Censor, Sailor Mars barely kicked out. "1..2..! No, Mars kicked out!" JR called.
"Where’d she get the energy to do that?!" King said, in shock.

VIKING: It was in the script. Duh!

"What determination by Sailor Mars, that was almost a cheaty victory by RTC!" JR said.

FREEZER: Again with the "cheaty!"

Ivory argued with the referee that it was a three count. She then picked Sailor Mars up and tried a Powerbomb, but Sailor Mars reversed it into a Hurricanrana.

ALL: YOU CAN'T POWERBOMB SAILOR MARS!!!

"Sailor Mars with a Hurricanrana!" JR called, getting excited.

MICKEY: So excited that the left side of his face nearly moved.
KENNY: Oooh! That was nearly mean!

Sailor Mars then whipped Ivory into the turnbuckle. Just then Sailor Venus and Jupiter both arrived and began to brawl with Bull, Goodfather and Val Venis.
"Wait, there’s Venus and Jupiter!" JR said.
"You go girls!" King said.

VIKING: [Lawler] Straight to my dressing room! WOO HOO!!!

Meanwhile, Mars got onto the apron. She climbed the second turnbuckle.
"What’s Sailor Mars trying to do?" King asked.
"Probably going for a Diamond Dust." JR answered.

KENNY: Oh like you'd know what is, JR!

Sailor Mars then grabbed the back of Ivory’s head, and then executed a front flip into the ring, taking Ivory down.
"Yes! A Diamond dust!" JR said.

MICKEY: No... That would be a Buff Blockbuster. A Diamond Dust is a flip Stunner off the turnbuckle.

Sailor Mars pinned Ivory, and three seconds later had become the Women’s Champion.
"1..2..3! We’ve got a new Women’s Champion!" JR said.

VIKING: And there was much rejoicing.
ALL: [Deadpan] Yay.

Raye then got up, and was pleased as she heard the cheers of the fans, followed by an announcement of, "Here is your winner, and the new World Wrestling Federation Women’s champion, Sailor Mars!" She was handed the belt, which she posed with on the turnbuckle.

S.JAMES: [Raye] Thank you! Thank you! You all suck! Thank you!

She was happy as there were lots of cameras flashing.

MICKEY: So she decided to return the favor and flashed the cameras.
KENNY: [JR] MAH GAWD! THE KING'S HEAD JUST EXPLODED!

She then left the ring and made her way up the ramp. At the top she stopped, turned and posed again.

FREEZER: [Raye] Thank you! Thank you! Kiss my entire ass! Thank you!

"The Right to Censor has done a hell of a lot to the Sailor Scouts, but now they have earned some pay back, and Sailor Mars is our new Women’s champion!" JR called.

MICKEY: And once again we gloss over the point that the RTC just got their asses handed to them by a Technicolor schoolgirl.

A few minutes later, Steven was confronting his fellow RTC members in their locker room. They feared for the worst, but he was actually calm.
"I understand that we lost," he began, "but these set backs happen. It won’t be long until there is another title within our
group." He assured them.

KENNY: [Bull] But we keep losing to a bunch of girls!
VIKING: [Steven] These things happen.
MICKEY: [Goodfather] But the five of them put together weigh less than Bull and me!
VIKING: [Steven] I said... "These things happen!"
S.JAMES: [Val] But any one of us has double the experience of *ALL* of them!
VIKING: [Steven] Dammit, people! Work with me!

"So what do we do now?" Val asked.
Ivory spoke up. "We must think of a plan," she began, "a way we can get rid of those vermin."

FREEZER: [Ivory] It's time to call... Terminex!

For a moment there was silence, as each member of the group pondered what to do. Then Goodfather spoke up.
"I have an idea." He said, as the rest looked up.

S.JAMES: [Goodfather, sinisterly] We'll run the Picket Fence! They'll never see it coming.

[All laugh evilly]

He just smiled and said, coldly "Divide and conquer."
The whole group nodded and smiled, understanding perfectly what he meant.

VIKING: [Goodfather] Um... We shoot them, right?

As this was going on, Chris was getting ready for his match. He had decided he had better try and control himself. Sure, he wanted to get Gurerro back, but at the same time he would have to keep an eye on X-Pac and Benoit, as one could pin the other to win the match.

MICKEY: In other words, he's more concerned about keeping his belt than payback on the guy who put his girl in the hospital?
KENNY: Sure! Priorities!

He also had to be careful in case Justin Credible got involved. He said a quiet prayer for Serena, before he made his way to the ramp.

FREEZER: [Jericho] Dear Lord; hope she doesn't die. Moving on...

Soon he was in the ring, pumped up for the match.
"The Intercontinental champion Chris Jericho set to defend his title against Chris Benoit, X-Pac and Eddy Gurerro." JR said.
"Jericho’s really got a disadvantage JR." King commented. "I mean, all three of his opponents hate him."

VIKING: Don't see why. He's such an easy-going, soft-spoken guy!

"You may be right there King." JR replied. "And the champion doesn’t have to be pinned to lose his title."
Just then Eddy Gurerro came out, he mouthed to Jericho "You’re ass is mine, Essa!"

S.JAMES: He must've hit Eddy pretty hard to make him think Chris was Essa Rios...

Chris couldn’t control his temper any more, and he ran out of the ring and began to go to work on Eddy with a series of punches. "And Jericho quickly going after Gurerro." JR observed.

KENNY: [JR] The way he's going after Guerrero, you'd think he beat up his girlfriend or something...

Gurerro then gouged Jericho in the eye and hit his head into the steps.
"Cheap shot by Gurerro." JR said.

FREEZER: No fair! He's using Stooge Fu!

"I don’t think this match has officially started!" King said,
Just then Chris Benoit ran out and he and his fellow Radical member started to go to work on Jericho.

MICKEY: Ah, The Radicalz! That brings back about five seconds of good memories...

"Wait! There’s Chris Benoit!" JR called.
"Well there’s three of the combatants." King stated.
Benoit threw Jericho in the ring and then slid in. He began to stomp away on Jericho.
"The Rabid Wolverine

ALL: "CANADIAN CRIPPLER" DAMMIT!!!

going to work on Y2J, these two have had some wars in the past." JR commented.

VIKING: [JR] Of course, those were in WCW. Hence they were totally inferior to _our_ product...

Eddy also got in the ring and he and Benoit double teamed Jericho for a few minutes until X-Pac’s music hit

S.JAMES: Giving everyone in section C a concussion...

and he made his way to the ring. He ran to the ring and then hit Chris Benoit with a spinning heel kick.
"X-Pac with a hard kick to Chris Benoit." JR said.
X-Pac then ran off the ropes and hit Benoit with a running leg drop. Meanwhile Jericho got Gurerro with several knife-edge chops.

ALL: WHOOOO!!!

He then ran off the ropes, but as he went for a flying forearm, Eddy grabbed him and threw him out of the ring.

ALL: WHEEEE!!!

"Jericho thrown out of the ring by Latino Heat." King said.
X-Pac then had Benoit in the corner and attempted a Bronco Buster.
"X-Pac looking for the Bronco Buster." JR observed.

FREEZER: The Bronco Buster... THE...
KENNY: GAYEST...
MICKEY: MOVE...
S.JAMES: IN...
VIKING: WRESTLING!!!

But as X-Pac went for it, Benoit moved sending X-Pac into the turnbuckle.
"No one there though." JR observed.
Benoit then took advantage of X-Pac’s mistake and hit him with a back suplex and then pinned him for a near fall.
"First cover of the match, and a two." JR said.

S.JAMES: [Lawrence Welk] An-a-one! An-a-two!

Jericho then got back onto the apron, he climbed to the top rope and nailed Eddy Gurerro with a missile dropkick.
"Missile dropkick!" JR stated.

VIKING: I'm starting to feel sorry for Good Ol' JR. This fic makes him seem even more brain addled than usual.

Jericho then pinned Gurerro, but Benoit interrupted the count. He then locked the champion in the Crippler Crossface.
"Wait! Benoit has Jericho in the Crippler Crossface!" JR exclaimed.

MICKEY: So what he's trying to say is Benoit's got him in the Crossface?
FREEZER: Let's not jump to conclusions.

"He’s got to tap out!" King said.
But just then X-Pac kicked Benoit in the face.
"And X-Pac with a hard shot to the face of Benoit." JR called.
Jericho got back up and ran at X-Pac and caught him in a School Boy roll up and got a near fall.
"Roll up and a two count!" JR said.

VIKING: Trade you for some gummi bears and a standing eight.
MICKEY: Deal!

"This is hard to keep up with JR!" King commented.
Just then Justin Credible ran down the ramp, with his trademark Kendo Stick to a chant of "ECW! ECW!" by the fans.

S.JAMES: Soon that chant was replaced with "JUS-TIN ASS-HOLE!"
ALL: < CLAP! CLAP! CLAP CLAP CLAP!! >

"That’s Justin Credible!" JR called.
"And he’s got a Kendo stick!" King added.

FREEZER: And he's not afraid to use it, I tells ya!

Justin slid in the ring and hit Benoit and Gurerro with the Kendo stick.
"And Justin Credible with hard cane shots to Benoit and Eddy Gurerro!" JR said.

KENNY: And the judges from Singapore gave it a 9.5.

Justin then attempted to hit Jericho with the stick, but he ducked and X-Pac felt the full force of the shot.
"Wait! Credible nailed X-Pac!" JR exclaimed.
"What the heck?" King asked.

ALL: Wah wah wah WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

Jericho then threw Justin out of the ring. He decided to take advantage of the situation, he placed X-Pac, Benoit and Gurerro on top of each other and hit all three with a Lionsault for the victory.
"A Lionsault on all three opponents!" JR said in amazement,

FREEZER: That was a bit excessive. Cool, but excessive.

"1..2..3! Jericho retains the Intercontinental Title!"

S.JAMES: And there was much blah blah blah...
ALL: [Deadpan] Blah.

A few minutes later, Mina was going to get a drink

S.JAMES: [Mina] Aw, yeah! Time to get tore up from the floor up!

when suddenly

FREEZER: A shot rang out!
VIKING: The skies grew dark!
MICKEY: "Seek and Destroy" started playing on the PA!

she was jumped from behind. She couldn’t see who it was, but she felt her head being grabbed and being thrown full force into a wall.

FREEZER: Then she started charging up the Crescent Beam...
KENNY: [Mina] Oh, it's on now, sucka!

As she went to get up, she felt herself being grabbed and pushed against a wall. She then saw it was Val Venis, he started to punch her.

VIKING: But she used her superior speed to dodge the blows, then proceeded to be the hell out of him, right? RIGHT?!?

"This is what happens to you when you threaten morality!" He sneered, punching her with each word, each punch harder than the
last one. She was soon on the floor, clutching her stomach. Val smiled and then left.

MICKEY: [Mina] You're just lucky I had those bad burritos! <URP!>

Meanwhile Sailor Mars was standing watching a monitor, when she felt someone jump on her back

KENNY: [Child's voice] Yay! Horsey ride!

and begin to choke her. She then heard a familiar voice.

FREEZER: My name is Inego Montoya...
VIKING: Raye Hino - COME ON DOWN!
S.JAMES: THIS IS CNN!
KENNY: You've got mail!
MICKEY: SNOOCHIE BOOCHIES!!

"Take this, you scum!" it said. The voice belonged to Ivory, and soon Mars passed out.

VIKING: Actually, she just faked it so Ivory would get off her back.
MICKEY:[Raye] Damn, woman! Ever hear of Jenny Craig?!?

Also, in a part of the locker room Lita was fighting with Bull and Goodfather, and putting up a good fight.
Soon she had the two of them running for cover.

ALL: Runaway! Runaway!

"Come on!" She called. "What’s the matter, boys? Afraid of getting beaten up by a girl?" she asked.

MICKEY: [Bull] Hell yes, we are!!
KENNY: Okay fellas; just drop off that Y-chromosome. <SNAP SNAP!> Hand it over!

Just then Steven appeared. He approached Lita with caution. A smile appeared on her face,

S.JAMES: [Lita] Alright! Time to play "Stomp the Head Weasel!"

and she cracked her knuckles.
"I’m not here to fight." He said.

FREEZER:[Steven] So please refrain from making me your bitch like you did these two...
MICKEY: [Bull & Goodfather] HEY!!!

"But this issue much come to an end." He added.
"You’re damn right." She said.
"So here’s what I propose," Steven began, "Tomorrow night on Raw, all five members of your group will take on all five of the Right To Censor, if we win, you’re group must leave the WWF." Lita considered this.

VIKING: [Lita] Hmm... Win - permanently punk out the RTC. Lose – walk away scot-free and go back to being superheroes. Tough choice...

She knew Serena was in hospital, and she wasn’t sure if she could show up.

S.JAMES: Not that she was all that hurt. She was just afraid Serena would just ditch them all.

Also, she suspected that RTC might have tried to do a number on Sailors Venus and Mars, like they tried on her. Suddenly she had an idea.

FREEZER:[Bull] Umm... What's she muttering? "Jupiter Thunder" something?
VIKING: [Goodfather] Why's her tiara sprouting an antenna?

"Okay, buster." She said. "But on one condition."
"What is that?" Steven said, curiously.
"If we win, your group has to split up." She said, with a smile. Steven looked shocked. But then again, he thought he had good on his side. Plus, he wanted rid of them at all costs.

S.JAMES: The shame of getting constantly beat down by Mrs. Finch's 9th grade class was starting to get to him...

And he could do what Right to Censor always does. Cheat.
"I accept your condition," he said before adding, in a more menacing tone, "but we shall still defeat you and it will be for
your own good." He then left.

ALL: YAAAY!!!

Will Serena recover in time for the match? Will the Scouts win, or shall they be banished from the WWF for their own good?

KENNY: Umm... Yes! No! Umm... Uh... Pass!

Find out in part 4

MICKEY: Wait, wait, wait... You mean that this was the RTC's sinister plot to take care of the Sailor Scouts? No luring them into a trap? No Horsemen-style savage group beatdown? Just "Find them, beat them up, but not too badly?" Dude, GARGAMEL came up with better plans then this!

WWF/SAILOR MOON CROSS OVER PART 4

S.JAMES: ...The Quest For Coherence.

After Steven left, Lita went to find Mina and Raye. She soon found Mina, who was lying on the floor, groaning in pain and holding onto her stomach.

FREEZER: [Mina] <GASP!> Need... Midol... Now!
MICKEY: Oh, so very very wrong!

"Mina!" Lita called, as she rushed over to check on her friend.
"What happened?"

S.JAMES: [Mina] Don't... Eat... The fish!
MICKEY: [Lita] Sorry... <SMACK!> What was that? <SMACK! Mmm, this is good fish!

"Val Venis attacked me." She said.

VIKING: [Mina] It really hurt 'n' stuff!

"Are you okay?" Lita asked.
"Do I look okay?" Mina snapped.

KENNY: [Lita] Yes... But we can fix that! <Cracks knuckles>

"Here," Lita said, extending her hand, "let me help you up."
Mina accepted and Lita helped her up.
"Thanks." Mina said.
"We better find Raye, in case anything happened to her." Lita said. Mina nodded in agreement and the two hurried to find Raye.

MICKEY: This segment brought to you by The Society for Increased Redundancy in Society.
S.JAMES: [Quickly] Mojo Jojo, president.

Several minutes later, they found her. She was leaning against a wall and gasping for air.

FREEZER: By that time, my...
VIKING: Dude, no... We're swiping enough lines as is.

"Raye!" Mina called, before adding Are you okay?"
"Ivory jumped on me and strangled me." Raye informed them. " I passed out,

MICKEY: [Raye] I was kind of enjoying it up to that point...

but I’m okay now." She then added.
"We need to settle this with RTC." Mina said.
"We’ll have a chance to tomorrow night." Lita said.
"How?" Raye asked.

KENNY: [Lita] Quake 3! Anything Goes Fragfest!
FREEZER: [Mina] Cool! I'll load up the sniperbots!

Lita informed them about Steven challenging them to the match.
After she was done, both Raye and Mina said, simultaneously, "Are you crazy?"

MICKEY: [Lita] Why yes I am! Thanks for asking.

"Serena’s still in the hospital, who knows if she’ll be able to make it?" Raye argued.

VIKING: God knows she can't use her powers to heal herself...

"And, knowing Right To Censor they’re bound to cheat!" Mina added.
"Look, we want this settled, right?" Lita began, " If we win, they have to break up and we’ll have no more trouble with them. And, if we lose, no big deal, we’d have more time to concentrate on being the Sailor Scouts, without the hassle of all this."

FREEZER: <Shakes head> Not only did we bring up those exact point not two pages ago, but having your characters actually say it just draws a big fat red circle around the ridiculousness of the whole situation. Not to mention it brings up the question as to just WHY the Scouts wouldn't just bail on something as ultimately frivolous as pro-wrestling when they have so many more important things to do?
KENNY: Because they signed a WWE contract with the standar McMahon exit clause?
FREEZER: Ah, the "You can leave. Your soul stays here" out clause! That explains it!

Reluctantly, Mina and Raye agreed that they’d fight in the match.
"I think we’d better see how Serena’s doing though." Mina said.

S.JAMES: [Lita] Oh, she died a horrible, hemorrhaging death en route. Hmm... Thought I mentioned that...

About an hour later, the three arrived in the hospital and they were shown to Serena’s room. Inside, Serena was asleep, with Amy by her bedside.
"Hi guys." Amy said.
"How’s Serena doing?" Mina asked.
"She’s almost fully recovered." Amy replied.

MICKEY: [Amy] But they pumped her full of drugs and now she's higher than a lab rat!
FREEZER: [Serena] o/~ REmeMbeRrRRrr.. whAT thE DoORmoUSe SAiiIIiIiID! FeeD yOuR HEAaaAAD! o/~
VIKING: [Lita] Whoa! "Grace Slick" high!

"She’s just getting some rest now."
The girls watched over Serena, and soon she was awake.
"Hi guys." She said, "How did things go?"

S.JAMES: [Raye] Well... I got pantsed by Ivory, Mina got pinned by an albino midget, and I think Lita killed a guy.
KENNY: [Serena] And I missed that? Dammit all!

"Here’s a hint." Raye said, as she showed Serena she had the Women’s title.
"You won?" Serena exclaimed, "That’s great."

VIKING: [Serena] I think my face just floated away! Wheee...

They then told Serena about the match on Raw.
"Are you up for it?" Mina asked.
"Sure." Serena said.

S.JAMES: [Serena] Let's get those green-blooded bastards!
KENNY: [Raye] Wha?
S.JAMES: [Serena] We are fighting Vulcans, right?
MICKEY: [Amy] Nurse? A little lower dosage for my friend here?

"Um, listen Serena," Lita began unsure.
"What is it Lita?" Serena asked.

KENNY: [Lita] Well... The doctors got your patient records mixed up with another woman’s, and... Well, let's just say you've got a bright future in fetish porn...
VIKING: [Serena] Eeep..!

"Chris, well, he knows, about us." Lita said.
"What?!" Serena said in disbelief.

FREEZER: SHE... SAID... "CHRIS... WELL.. HE... KNOWS... ABOUT... US!!!"

"He already guessed something was up, because he heard Luna talk." Raye said.

S.JAMES: [Serena] Oh, its SO The Box for that cat...

"Did you tell him everything?" Serena asked, worrying.
"Don’t worry." Mina reassured her, "We didn’t tell him about you and Darien, or about Renee."

VIKING: [Serena] Who?
FREEZER: [Raye] Your future yam-headed daughter?
VIKING: [Serena] Oh, "RINI!"

Serena sighed in relief. "Thanks." She said.
"No problem." Lita said.
"Well, I guess we’d better leave you to get some rest then." Raye said. "we’ve got a big day tomorrow."

MICKEY: [Raye] Hopefully you'll have come down by then.
VIKING: [Serena] o/~ La cucaracha! La cucaracha! Blahlalalalalaaa! o/~ <Starts giggling>

"Okay, bye." Serena called, as the girls left.

FREEZER: [Serena] Okayloveyoubyebye!

About ten minutes later Chris entered Serena’s room.
"Chris!" Serena called.

KENNY: [Serena] Cross! Jump! Jump! Whee! Drugs are fun!

"Hi Serena." Chris said. "How are you feeling?" He asked, concerned.
"I’m feeling a lot better now." She replied.

S.JAMES: [Serena] I'm feeling really good!

"Well, that’s good." Chris said, taking a seat by her bedside.
"Who was that guy who attacked me?" Serena asked Chris.
"Eddy Gurerro." Chris said in disgust. "He’s a womanising, self centred, cocky jerk!"

MICKEY: [Jericho] Not at all like me!

"Sound charming." Serena said, sarcastically.
" Yeah." Chris replied. "And he’s very sadistic as you can tell."
He then took Serena’s hand and held it in his. "But don’t worry, I’ll get him back for you." He assured her.

VIKING: Umm... Didn't you just do that?
KENNY: Beatdowns don't count as revenge if there's collateral ass-kickings involved.
VIKING: Ah. Got it!

"Thanks Chris." Serena said. God, Chris was treating her really well. He always had.

FREEZER: In the day plus you've been together...

This made it even harder for her to try to tell him about her and Darien.

VIKING: Which also begs the question why Darien isn't with them? It's not like Tux Boy has anything better to do...

"Uh," She began, unsure, "I’ve got something to tell you."
"It’s okay." He interrupted. "The other scouts told me. Is all that really true?"
"Yeah." She said, slightly uneasy.

S.JAMES: [Serena] The doctors gave me a man-area...
FREEZER: [Jericho] WHAT?!?
S.JAMES: [Serena] Ah-heh... That's not what they mentioned, is it?

"Wow!" He exclaimed. "It sounds like something out of a Saturday morning cartoon."

VIKING: Only after DIC got through with it, anyway.

Serena laughed at this. "I know it’s really far fetched," she began, "but it’s the truth."
"Was there anything that they left out?" Chris asked.
Serena looked worried. She was thinking whether or not to tell Chris. She decided it would be better if he didn’t know.

MICKEY: Why, Serena! You little ho!
FREEZER: What they do in the hospital, stays in the hospital.

"No." She said.
"Fine." Chris said. After several more minutes, of chat about nothing in particular,

KENNY: [Jericho] Blah blah blah?
S.JAMES: [Serena] Blah blah.
KENNY: [Jericho] Blah blah BLAH!
S.JAMES: [Serena] Oh, Blah blah!

Chris left.

FREEZER: Pent up and fed up.
VIKING: <SIGH!> Looks like it's hookers for me again...

"Here we are, one night after an explosive No Way Out.

MICKEY: [JR] The feds are still sifting through the rubble!

The Rock defeated Kurt Angle for the WWF…" JR ranted as Raw came on the air.

KENNY: WWF what? World title? European Title? Hardcore Title? The Light-Heavyweight? Details, man!

In the locker room area, RTC were plotting. "We must make sure that we win tonight." Steven said. "How can we assure this?"
"We COULD hire the APA to-" Val began.
"Them?" Steven interrupted, "We won’t lower ourselves to associate with filth like that!"

S.JAMES: [Steven] They might actually succeed! Then where would we be?

He then turned to Bull, "What do you think, Mr. Buchanan?" Bull didn’t really want to answer.

VIKING: His last answer. "Unleash the Kittens of Doom upon them," didn't go over very well...

In the last few months, both he and Goodfather were getting sick of being in RTC. The hatred the fans had for them, saying the same old things over and over, attacking people when they never really wanted to and that God awful ‘music’, they were sick of it all.

KENNY: Thou hast seen the light, Brother Buchanan!

They were hoping to quit, but they feared for there health. Because, although Steven is a white sock wearing nerd, he had a mean streak in him. And he wouldn’t have hesitated to show how mean he could be.

MICKEY: Never mind that both you and The Goodfather have at least four inches and fifty pounds on him..
FREEZER: Barry Buchanan - I dub thee "Complete Pussy!"

"I can’t think of anything." He said.
"Wait, I have an idea." Ivory said. "During the match we’ll knock out the referee, then we can do what we want to them, and there’s nothing that could be done about it."
"An excellent idea Ivory." Steven said.
Bull and Goodfather rolled their eyes.

S.JAMES: [Bull] But doesn't that mean they can do the same to us?
FREEZER: [Steven] SILENCE! I'll brook no logic here!

"Oh, like we’ve never done THAT before." Goodfather mumbled under his breath.
Several minutes later, the group made their way to the ring to the usual amount of boos.

VIKING: And more than the usual amount of indifferent "These guys again?" buzz...

"Tonight all of the Sailor Scouts will square off against all of Right to Censor." JR began, "If RTC win, the Sailor Scouts have to leave the WWF, but if the scouts win, Steven Richards’ little organisation/ cult will have to spilt up."
"There’s sure a lot at stake here tonight, JR." King added.

MICKEY: For a lower-midcard feud featuring one woman, five girls, and a bunch of wannabees...

Steven then got a microphone. "Sailor Scouts," he began, "last night, at No Way Out, your representative got lucky."
"Sailor Mars beat Ivory for the Women’s title." JR informed the audience, "but it was not by luck."

KENNY: [JR] They used their own suck factor against them!

"I mean, you had to send two of your team mates to interfere in the match up." Steven added, to the applause by Val and Ivory.

S.JAMES: [Val] We love your revisionist history!

"Because YOU sent Bull, Goodfather and Val Venis to get involved!" King screamed.
"King, don’t bother trying to reason with them." JR said.
"And," Steven continued, "when all of you accepted this match tonight, you obviously didn’t know what you were getting yourself in for."

VIKING: [Steven] You obviously didn't know what kind of pantywaists we could be!

He said to more applause by RTC.

ALL: [Deadpan] Yay.

"For I was the one who rid the WWF of the Ho Train."

ALL: BOOOO!!!

He said. As he mentioned this Goodfather’s facial expression darkened.

FREEZER: [Goodfather] Urge to kill - RISING!

He felt bad enough about losing that match, and also due to a pre-match agreement with Steven, he had to join RTC.
Goodfather remembered the scene vividly.

[All start wiggling their fingers and making "Doodly-oooh" sounds]

There he was, still The Godfather in his locker room, wearing his lime green clothes,

S.JAMES: Having recently raided the set of "Pimps Up, Hos Down II..."

finishing putting his jewellery on, when suddenly, Steven walked in.
"Come to forfeit Steven?" He joked. "I mean, I can beat your thug no problem."
"Is that so?" Steven said. "In that case Godfather, why don’t we make an agreement?"
"Look," Godfather said, as he turned around to face Steven. "I’ve already agreed to put my girls on the line, ain’t that enough?"

KENNY: [Steven, salaciously] Oh, yes! That's more than... <AHEM!> I mean...

"What I suggest," Steven said, "Is that if you win, which I doubt, I will stop censoring the WWF."

VIKING: [Godfather] You're a censor? I thought you were supposed to be an annoying pseudo-Mormon dickweed?

Godfather was quick to answer, "Sure, why not?"
"But," Steven said, smiling widely, "If Bull wins, not only shall your women leave the WWF, but you will join US!"

S.JAMES: [Steven] And membership dues are due UP FRONT! IN CASH! MWAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

Godfather was shocked.

MICKEY: Shocked, I tell you!

He leaned into Steven’s face. "And what if I say ‘no’?" He asked.

FREEZER: [Steven] Umm... I'll harm you?

"I don’t think you can." Steven said. He then got to the Godfather by saying, "you know you want rid of me. You know you’d only be happy when I’m gone."

KENNY: [Godfather] So what exactly is stopping me from just giving you the Pimp Hand until you leave anyway?
VIKING: [Steven] Umm... My intense, intimidating aura of masculinity?
KENNY: [Godfather] Try again, White Boy...

He then extended his hand, and Godfather had no choice but to shake it.

FREEZER: I didn't know our boy Charles Wright was part French...
MICKEY: Ladies and gentlemen - your federally mandated French cheap shot!

Now he regretted it.
Meanwhile, Steven droned on for another few minutes, about his so-called achievements, before the Sailor Scouts came out. Sailor Moon carrying a microphone.
"You guys are REALLY full of morals!" she said sarcastically.

S.JAMES: [Serena] And by "morals," we mean "shit."

"Attacking people from behind! And you Steven, I do believe that you have no genitals!".

FREEZER: [Steven] HOW DID YOU... DAAAAAH!!! I mean, "How dare you?"

Steven looked outraged, but before he could reply Serena said "Everytime you have a match you rush out of the ring and make Val or Ivory or that pair of Neanderthals over there do your dirty work for you!".

MICKEY: [Steven] Well EXCUSE me for knowing how to delegate!

She pointed at Bull and Goodfather when she said ‘Neanderthals’. "If you had any guts, you’d take us on yourself."

KENNY: [Steven] Well, I don't. So I won't. So NYAAAH!

Bull was a bit offended about what Serena had said, but he had to admit she had a point. Steven was a coward.

VIKING: A coward you're desperately afraid will snap and kick your ass...
MICKEY: Doesn’t say a whole hell of a lot about you, does it, Barry?

Bull grabbed the mike. He decided to play along with the RTC thing so Steven wouldn’t get suspicious.
"How dare you insult us? Steven Richards is a good man.

FREEZER: [Bull] For an evil Mormon...

The five of you are just lost, you have been led astray. But with Steven’s guidance, and the Right to Censor, we can show you the way to redemption."

MICKEY: Umm... Amen?

"Sounds like a preacher." King commented.

KENNY: An evil, twisted preacher, mind you...

Raye got on the mike. "You know Bull, for a gorilla your English isn’t too bad!"
Bull looked outraged.

VIKING: [Bull] Just for that, the first handful of crap's got your name on it!

Serena got on the mike again. "Okay, I think we’ve wasted enough time talking, let’s just get to business!"

S.JAMES: Yes! Yes! The faster the better!

With that said, the girls all rushed into the ring, and began to brawl with RTC.

FREEZER: Which makes for quite the ludicrous visual...

"And here we go," JR called, "this match not taking long to get under way."
Soon it was only Val Venis and Mina in the ring. Val and her grappled at first,

VIKING: Then soon succumbed to the urge to cop a feel. Afterwards, he stated that the resulting savage beating was worth it.

and he then locked in a rough looking headlock. He then took her to the corner and rammed her head into it.
"And Val Venis sending Sailor Venus hard into that turnbuckle." JR commented
"That’ll hurt." King added.

MICKEY: With that four inches of padding and all...

Val then attempted to whip Mina into the other corner, but she reversed, sending Val there. She then ran and executed a flying reverse elbow.
"And what great athleticism shown by Sailor Venus!" JR called.
She then covered Val, but he kicked out.
"There’s a cover, but a kick out." JR said.

KENNY: [Disapprovingly] Pin attempt after an elbow shot... Who does she think she is? Masato Tanaka?
FREEZER: And for most of you playing along at home: No, you weren't supposed to get that one...

"Nearly over early." King said.
Mina then went to whip Val off the ropes, but he reversed and whipped her, while still holding onto her arm. He then kneed her in the stomach as she came off the ropes. He then did it again.

MICKEY: And again. And again. And again and again and again.
S.JAMES: He's channeling Triple H!

"And Val Venis going to work on Sailor Venus with hard knee strikes." JR observed.

VIKING: That Muy Thai training really paid off!

Val then hit Mina with a vertical suplex and then tagged in Bull Buchanan.
"Tag made to Bull Buchanan." JR said, before adding "RTC doing a good job in isolating Sailor Venus."

MICKEY: Isolation - cults tend to do that well!

"Yeah, RTC may be dorks, but they can work well as a team." King replied.
Bull worked on Mina for a while, but she then scored with a DDT, and then tagged in Amy.
"And there’s a tag to Sailor Mercury!" JR said.
Amy ran off the ropes and hit Bull with a flying head scissors. Bull got up, but was dazed. Amy then got a small package for a two count.

FREEZER: Okay... Letting that one go. Too easy...

"And there was a near fall on Bull." JR said.
Amy got in a good bit of offence,

KENNY: And an even better amount of "offense."

but then Bull nailed her with a powerslam. Taking advantage of the fact she was down, he went to his corner and tagged in Goodfather.The match went on for several minutes. The momentum switched sides several times.

S.JAMES: People also changed channels, but only once.
FREEZER: [Homer] BORING!!!

Both teams were giving it there all, and both had no intentions of losing.
Soon, it was Serena and Ivory squaring off. Ivory was about to hit Serena with a back suplex, but on the way down, she flipped, and landed on her feet.
"Great agility on display here tonight." JR commented.

MICKEY: I thought that particular euphemism was "Talent and Ability."
KENNY: "Talent and Agility?" Hmmm!

Serena then hit Ivory with a reverse DDT Drop. She covered her, but Steven pulled the referee out of the ring.

KENNY: Which should result in an instant DQ for interference, but never does.

"This one’s over! But Steven Richards has pulled the referee outside the ring!" JR said, disgusted.
The referee was arguing with Steven, but Steven, being the coward he is, punched the referee full whack, knocking him out.
"And he’s just decked the referee!" JR added.

VIKING: Which should be an automatic DQ the moment the ref comes to. But never is.
S.JAMES: The wacky world of pro wrestling - where rules are rules, except when they ain't.

"This doesn’t look good JR!" King noted.
Steven then headed towards the announce table. He forced the bell ringer off of his chair, and then headed towards the ring with the metal apparatus.

VIKING: You mean the chair or the ring bell?
FREEZER: Umm... Pass?

He was going to enjoy cracking it over one of the scouts heads.
"Uh oh, Richards has a steel chair!" JR said.

KENNY: And the answer is "chair!"

[All cheer]

Meanwhile in the ring, the Scouts and the censors were going at each other. Steven climbed into the ring. He motioned to Ivory to hold Serena in place. He was smiling.

FREEZER: Why is this man smiling?
MICKEY: The answer is "Don't care! Can't make me!"

He was just about to hit Serena with it, when he felt the chair being yanked out of his hands. He turned around, and he saw it was Bull.
"Wait a minute! Bull Buchanan just grabbed the steel chair off of Richards!" JR said, confused.

FREEZER: Of course, JR gets confused by his toaster settings.
VIKING: [JR] Light! Dark! Medium! WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN!?!

"What the heck?" King added.
"What the hell are you doing?" Steven yelled at Bull.
"This ain’t right Steven!" Bull said.

KENNY: I'll take "No shit, Sherlock" for $1000, Alex!

"Bull saying that it isn’t right for Steven to do that, and he has a point." JR informed the audience.

S.JAMES: AAAH!!! MY EYES!!!
VIKING: Let me guess - blinding flash of the obvious?
S.JAMES: Oh, GOD YES!!!

Ivory then threw Serena down and went over with Steven. Her and Steven started to shout at Bull. Goodfather then came, to stand up for Bull. Steven, Bull and Goodfather all left the ring to continue their argument.

FREEZER: Then Jerry Springer showed up and things got weird!

Ivory stayed in the ring.
"There seems to be some problems within Right to Censor." JR said.
While the RTC were still arguing, Serena had climbed to the top rope. When Ivory turned around, Serena came off the rope and nailed her with a Dragoncanrana.

S.JAMES: Which *AGAIN* begs the question "Who the hell taught them these moves?"
VIKING: Maybe Luna had a "Moveset" powerup she was holding in reserve?

She then pinned her. The referee, still groggy from the punch, managed to climb into the ring and count the three.
"1..2..3! The Sailor Scouts win!" JR called.
"No more of RTC, happy days are here again!" King then called.

FREEZER: [King] The sky above is clear again!
KENNY: [JR] Okay, we get it, King.
FREEZER: [King] Let us sing a song of cheer again!
KENNY: [JR] Shut the hell up, King!
FREEZER: [King, rapidly] Happydaysarehereagain! NYAH!

Bull then got a microphone.

MICKEY: [Bull] TRUTH COMMISION IN DA' HOUSE!!!
S.JAMES: [Val] Um... Bull?
MICKEY: [Bull] Shut up! I'm having a moment!

"You know," he began, "I don’t really care of our group has to split up. I hated being in Right to Censor, and so did The Goodfather! We hated doing all that stuff that that psycho," he said pointing at Steven, "told us to do."

VIKING: [Bull] But we did it anyway, cuz we're pansies!

He paused for a breath before continuing, "I admit, I joined at first to get a bit more attention, but now I am disgusted by what I have done. And I’m glad that you five ended this censoring spree once and for all!"

FREEZER: Sounds like a testimonial from Assholes Anonymous.
S.JAMES: My name is Barry. And I'm an asshole.
ALL: Hi, Barry!

Steven looked irate. He pointed at Bull and Goodfather and said to them "You back stabbers! You’re gonna pay!"

MICKEY: [Steven] And I DO NOT take American Express!

Backstage, the scouts were congratulated by several others, also fed up with Right to Censor, including the APA.
"You five really gave them a good ass kicking." Bradshaw said."Yeah, want some beer?" Farooq offered, holding out a six pack of the beverages.
"Uh, thanks but no thanks." Mina replied.

S.JAMES: [Mina] We're, like, really *REALLY* underage!
FREEZER: Oh... Natty Light, then?

"Suit yourself." Farooq said, as he and Bradshaw chugged down a bottle each.
Bull and Goodfather, now dressed in normal attire again, also came over and gave their congratulations.
"I think you both did the right thing though." Amy told them, "by stopping Steven from using that chair."
"We did it, not only because we hated being in RTC, but also we thought that was going way too far." Goodfather said.

KENNY: [Goodfather] I mean, we were okay with trying to gang up on Sailor Jupiter. But _chairs!_

"But at least Steven Richards’ won’t be a problem anymore." Bull added.
Meanwhile, Steven was watching them all. He focused his view on Serena.
"That meatball head will pay." He thought to himself. "When I’m finished with her, she’ll regret the day she was born!"

VIKING: She already does. Her birthday's Christmas, so she's gypped out of a whole day of presents.

It was safe to say that now Steven had gone completely over the edge. He was always a bit disturbed, but not to this extent. He was now out for blood, and wouldn’t be satisfied until he got it. And he felt Serena, being the leader of the Sailor Scouts, would be the perfect one to punish.

FREEZER: Hey, that's HER line!

Later that evening, Serena was about to leave the arena, when Chris walked up to her.
"Hey Serena." He called, "that was a great match you had, and I’m happy that you solved your problems with RTC."

MICKEY: [Jericho] Even if three of them are still around and hate you violently. And Eddy's still around here somewhere...

"Thanks Chris." Serena replied. " I’m glad that they’re gone." She then asked Chris if he had a match.
"Yeah," Chris began, "I fought against that jerky Justin Credible. His loser buddy X-Pac tried to interfere, but I still won."

KENNY: [Jericho] Yeah... I'm pretty great like that!

"That’s good." Serena said.
As the two were talking, Steven was slowly, but surely, creeping up on them.

ALL: o/~ Doo! Doo! Doo! Doo! DOOOOO! Doo doo doo doo! o/~

He had a steel pipe in his hands. He watched the two carefully, waiting for a moment to strike.

ALL: [Whispering] Killkillkillkillkillkill!!! Youyouyouyouyouyou!!!

But Chris saw him. Steven was about to hit Serena, but Chris managed to push her out of harm’s way. Chris took the full impact of the steel pipe shot.

S.JAMES: Eh! He took it in the head. No biggie.

Steven was angry he missed Serena, but he continued to beat on Chris with the pipe.
"YOU IDIOT! I COULD HAVE HAD HER!" He screamed, as his blows hit off Chris’s body.

VIKING: [Steven] WE COULD'VE BEEN HAPPY! WE COULD'VE HAD A LIFE TOGETHER!!!
FREEZER: And Steven follows up the pipe shot with a bigass dose of TMI!

Serena ran up and tried to grab the pipe off of Steven, but he shoved her away. He went to strike her again, but she ducked,

VIKING: Then she whipped off her tiara and turned him into Stevie cutlets, RIGHT?!?

and the pipe hit off a wall. He screamed in frustration.

MICKEY: Stevie, baby! You've already surrendered enough of your manhood without the tantrum!
KENNY: Yeah, try to hang on to that last shred of dignity!

Serena then knocked Steven down with a hard kick.

FREEZER: [Serena] HIKEEBA, BEEYOTCH!!!

She then went to check on Chris. He looked badly injured.
Serena did something she knew she was probably going to regret, but this was an emergency. She took out her moon sceptre and
called, "Moon sceptre healing power, activation!"

VIKING: Moon who tha' what tha' which?
FREEZER: <SIGH!> Why do fanfic writers constantly screw up details that are SO easily double-checked like that?
S.JAMES: Because if they did, we'd have much less to do around here?
FREEZER: You say that like that's a bad thing...

The sceptre came to life, as it started to heal Chris. Steven saw this from the part of the floor he was laying on. He looked awe struck.
Soon the sceptre was done.

MICKEY: Nothing left of Chris except the fresh scent of Brut.

Chris got back up slowly.
"Are you okay?" Serena asked Chris, concerned.
"What just happened?" He asked, sounding slightly dazed. "I felt this strange sort of energy coming over me."
"Oh, well, I..." Serena began.

KENNY: [Serena] Injected you with X. You might not want to drive for a while...

"She has powers!" Steven screamed paranoid.

[All start sing the opening riff to Black Sabbath's "Paranoid"]

He quickly got up to his feet. He started to back away from Serena and Chris, as he was afraid.
"You’re some kind of witch!" Steven said, as he pointed to Serena. He was starting to breathe heavily. He then ran away screaming

VIKING: And that last shred of dignity spontaneously explodes...

"HELP! THERE’S A WITCH! A WITCH!"

S.JAMES: [Random onlooker] A witch? Cool! I'll get the pitchforks!
KENNY: [Same] I'll get the torches!
MICKEY: [Ditto] I'll round up the townsfolk!

Chris and Serena looked confused.

FREEZER: [Serena] Was he talking about me?
VIKING: [Chris] I sure as hell hope it wasn't me!

"Did you use any powers?" Chris asked.
"Well," Serena began, before sighing and saying "yes. I mean, you were badly hurt and-"

S.JAMES: [Serena] It was either use my powers in front of Twitchy the Wonder Spaz over there or call the stadium EMTs. Judgment call...

"It’s okay." Chris said. "I won’t tell anybody."
Serena looked a bit saddened.

MICKEY: Er... Why?
KENNY: Just let it pass. We're almost through.

"What about Steven though?" she asked.
Chris laughed. "Who’s gonna believe that nerd?" He replied.

S.JAMES: The next morning...
MICKEY: [Newsboy] EXTRA! EXTRA! Read all about it! Steven Richards says Sailor Moon's "A FREAKING WITCH!"

"I guess you’re right." Serena said. "Well, good night Chris."
"Good night Serena." Chris replied, as she picked up her bag and walked through the arena door.

VIKING: [Jericho] Oh, and thanks for saving me from permanent injury, and stuff...
FREEZER: [Serena] Eh... Whatever.

What will happen now to the Scouts in the WWF?

MICKEY: Two words: Lesbian angle.

How will Serena and Chris’s ‘friendship’ develop?

KENNY: I'm gonna go out on a limb and say... It won't.

Find out in part 5.

S.JAMES: Let's not and say we did. Let's also get the hell out of here!
MICKEY: Run away! Run away!

[ 6 ]...[ 5 ]...[ 4 ]...[ 3 ]...[ 2 ]...[ 1 ]...[ * ]

{Back on the Satellite’s bridge, the UGoS are Standing in front of what looks like a wall full of old mid-tower PCs. Freezer is off to one side holding a keyboard.}

MICKEY: Are you sure this is going to work this time?

S.JAMES: And by "work," we mean "not send us to a fiery, screaming death!"

FREEZER: Guys, trust me...

VIKING: [muttering] Famous last words...

FREEZER: This is going to work! I worked out the architecture problems, installed plenty of surge protectors, I even tested it!

KENNY: That's re-assuring.

FREEZER: This baby is gonna have power like you've never seen! We'll be able to hack computers in other dimensions with this thing!

<<Z-Z-Z-ZAP!!!>>

MICKEY: Er...Is that thing supposed to arc electricity like that?

FREEZER: Just think of it as a Tesla Coil case mod! Now let's see what this baby can really do!

S.JAMES: You do that... I'm gonna go hide behind the nearest large piece of metal I can find...

MICKEY: By the way, just what operating system is running on this thing?

FREEZER: [fiddling with a few of the cases] XP 2.0...

VIKING: XP what?

FREEZER: Hey, when you bounce off pirate signals off multiple satellites - including our own - a couple of radio towers, and THE SUN, you're bound to come back with some pretty interesting results. I'm surprised we didn't run across some bootleg Minbari software. Alrighty, we're booted and ready to... Wait a minute... Someone's IMing us!

KENNY: Why?

FREEZER: The better question is how? I haven't set up anything yet!

S.JAMES: I'll bet the MSN Messenger here is set to start randomly connecting people. Damn Microsatan and their embedded evil.

FREEZER: Well, let's see who's on the other end before we invoke the name of He Who Must Not Be Downloaded.

[The Hexfield Viewscreen starts to open]

VIKING: How did you managed to wire that monstrosity to the hexfield.

FREEZER: Oh, I asked the Nanites for help?

KENNY: "Nanites?"

FREEZER: Yeah! Ran into them when I got zapped that second time. Turns out the ship's crawling with them! They were a big help!

[The Hexfield Viewscreen opens to reveal a rather nondescript young man in front of a computer]

FREEZER: Cool! Video chat works!

VIKING: Umm... 'Scuse us? Who are you, why are you instant messaging us, and can you possibly spend a space shuttle to us?

[Hexfield]

Man: Well... My name's Luke Bannon, and I have no idea about the rest...

[SOK]

ALL: LUKE BANNON?!?

MICKEY: The guy who wrote that Sailor Moon/Wrestling crossover we just read?

[Hex]

LUKE: You read it? Cool! So tell me? What did you think?

[SOK]

S.JAMES: [Aside] Shall we tell him?

FREEZER: Let's be nice here. [Aloud] It was an interesting read... But we were troubled by the fact that you left several things in your story unexplained or untouched on.

[Hex]

LUKE: Such as?

[SOK]

MICKEY: From the top, fellas. OV, you and Freeze take the Sailor Moon questions, we'll take the rest.

FREEZER: 'Kay. First and foremost - how could no one in that company know who the Sailor Scouts were? They're national heroes!

[Rapid fire]

KENNY: And why on God's green Earth would Vince McMahon hire a bunch of teenage girls to actually wrestle?

VIKING: And when did Serena suddenly learn the coordination to pull off those fancy moves she was using?

S.JAMES: And how come no one EVER brought up the seemingly odd fact that said teenage girls were whooping up on men three times their size?

FREEZER: And just WHY would Serena jeopardize her relationship with Darrien - a man who literally gave his life for her - for some schoolgirl crush on a man she's been around may three whole days?

MICKEY: And if the RTC were such evil bastards, why did their plans to get rid of the Scouts boil down to "Let's beat them up?"

VIKING: And for that matter, HOW could Eddy Gurerro take out Sailor Moon with a wrench shot?

S.JAMES: And why did you have your announcer characters basically parrot everything the narrator said?

FREEZER: And what happened to the Scouts personalities, outside of Jupiter?

ALL: AND WHAT ABOUT SCARECROW'S BRAIN?!?

[Hex]

LUKE: You... You're all just like those bastards on fanfiction.net! Always with your "Why did you write this?" and your
"This makes no sense!" Well, SCREW YOU! This is why I took my stuff down from there! I WILL NOT have my worked subjected to such uneducated scrutiny! This conversation ends NOW.

[Hexfield closes]

MICKEY: Well, that answers that!

FREEZER: So what do you think, sirs?

S.JAMES: Huh?

FREEZER: It's traditional.

[DT]

VINCE: I think I'm gonna let you keep that little Frankenstein's PC up there for a while. I think it'll be interesting to see if it blows up or eats your soul first.

FRED: Oh, and before we go - you remember that we said that the Sports Entertainer Ray wasn't working correctly?

MADDEN: Turns out that we just didn't put enough power through it to make up for the distance, atmospheric interference, and that sort of crap.

VINCE: But now that we have... <ZZZZZAAAP!!!> What do YOU think, sirs?

[Cut back to the Satellite, where the UGoS are all wearing overly-colored Japanese Schoolgirl uniforms]

S.JAMES: [In Japanese] Oh, VERY funny!

FREEZER: [Same] You realize that this is all going in the "Reasons for Payback" file?

VIKING: [Yes, they're ALL speaking Japanese!] But there is a way we can get a little payback now... Huddle up!

[All huddle up]

[DT]

FRED: What are they talking about now.

MADDEN: I don't know but now they're lining up behind the desk. Why are they turning around? Oh... Oh, God! They're grabbing their skirt hems! AAAAAAAAIGH!!! [Passes out]

FRED: P-p-p-panty shot! Male panty shot. URP! [Turns green and runs off]

VINCE: <SNORT!> Wusses! I've literally written worse stuff than that into my TV shows! You guys just remember, I'm still here, you're still there! [Growling] And I've still got THIS!

[Jams his finger into the air, then spears the button with it]


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<< Will the UGoS revert to normal before bad hentai fics get written about them? Will this inspire Vince McMahon to introduce a stable of cosplayers to the WWE? And what _about_ Scarecrow's brain? Find out on the next episode of Mystery UGoS Theater! >>

{{ "You five really gave them a good ass kicking." Bradshaw said. "Yeah, want some beer?" }}

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