tmil

" Marcus! You can't do this!" I yelled struggling against his large body frame pressed against mine. " Marc! Stop it! You're drunk!"

" I'm not drunk, Heather. I just think we've been together long enough to make it official," HE breathed heavily into my ear.

He'd come home after another long night of partying with his 'buddies', and wanted sex. I'd usually been able to diffuse his outlandish demands, but tonight was different.Toninght hw was extremely drunk and extremely forceful. He stumbled into the bedroom not caring how loud he was, or if i was asleep or not... which i wasn't, but pretended to be anyway. I watched in the darkness as he struggled with his clothes, staggering, as he peeled off his jacket and unbuttoned his jeans. He leaned against the wall and kicked off his shoes. I yawned, stopping his from discarding his clothes. He stared in my direction a few minutes before going into the bathroom.

I layed in the dark listeneng to the running water, and heard a loud bang. " God Damnit!" He yelled from behind the door. I giggled to myself before turning on my side. I heard the door open and a few moments later i felt him slide in bed next to me. I closed my eyes. Marc snuggled closer to me and draped his arm over my waist. " Babe? Babe, you awake?" The smell of alcohol and cheap perfume attacked my senses and i buried my head in the pillows. " Heather," He repeated a little louder this time.

" What is it Marc?" I mumbled.

" I want to talk to you. Heather, are you asleep?"

" No," I said turning to face him. " But i'd like to be, so say what you have to say so i can go back to sleep,"

" Are you angry at me?"

" No, but i'm tired and i want to go back to sleep. We can talk in the morning-"

" But i want to talk to you now. Look, i know i can be an asshole sometimes,but i just want you to know that i love you. And we've been through a lot in the last couple of years, but i only think that it's made us stronger, ya know?"

I nodded, knowing he wouldn't remember having this conversation tomorrow. " Thank you Marc, I love you too,"

He leaned in and kissed me lightly on the lips, but when i tried to pull away he continued to kiss me only harder. I tried pushing him away, but he grabbed my hands and placed them atop om head. I turned my head away from him and he moved his sloppy kisses to my neck. " Marc, please don'tt do this," I pleaded. " It's late, and i'm tired."

He quickly shifted his weight so he was on top of me. I tried wiggling myself free, but it wasn't workoing. He had a firm grip on my wrists and his weight was pinningme down. He continued kissing my neck, and easily switched his hands so he was holding both my wrists with one hand, and moved his free hand down my leg and under my nightshirt. " I want you so bad, Heath," He whispered.

" Marcus! You can't do this! You're drunk!"

" I'm not drunk, Heather I just think we've been long enough to make it official,"

His fingers tuggedon my panties, until he'd gotten a good enough grip to pull them off. I started to scream, but he pressed his lips to mine again, muffling any sound i would have made. HE pulled away and and continued his assualt. " Heather, stop fighting. It'll be alot easier if you don't fight,"

" Marc, please. I don't want to do this," I said as calmly as possible.

" What are you afraid of? I'm not going to hurt you," He said as he ran his fingers lightly over my vagina. " Do you like that?"

" No," I said softly.

" Don't you love me?"

" I do marcus, but-"

He kissed me again, shutting me up. I was beginning to get sick. He tasted like alcohol. THe more he shoved his tongue in my mouth the closer i came to vomiting. Everything was happening so fast, and before i knew it, Marcus was in between my legs and preparing to enter me. " Marcus! Don't. Don;t do something yuo'll regret in the morning!" I pleaded

" Heather, this might hurt a little," He said.

" Marcus!" I yelled. " If you love me don't do this... please!"

He thrrust into me quickly, and all i could do was cry. The physical pain was brief, but i was completely numb inside. I layed ther in the dark, hating the man on top of me and hating myself. I closed my eyes and protesed no more, while Marc finished. He grunted softy when he came and collaped on top of me. He kissed my cheek, pulled out, and mumbled something along the lines of " I love you," before drifting off to sleep.

I layed there in the dark, soaking my pillow with tears. Had i just been raped? By my boyfriend? That couldn't be possible, he'd never been abusive before, and he'd certainly never been so forceful, but still after my many protests, I ended up losing my virginity to him, and not hte way i'd wanted. I wanted to get up and run away, but at the same time i was afraid to move. I looked over at Marc sleeping soundly, his dark curls disarrayed on on his head the only thing i could see; he was buried so far under the blankets. I slowly crawled out of the bed, immediately feeling the ramifications of my first sexual experience My whole body was stiff. Everything hurt. I found my panties on the floor and put them on. I tip toed around the bedroom finding my clothes and getting dressed. I threw some extra clothes in my back pack and left.

Part Two

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