Kathryn stood before Chakotay's door hoping he had returned there and praying that he hadn't.

Hearing the chime, he immediately called out, "Come!" instinctively feeling it was her.

It took Chakotay to come to the door and open it, for her to enter his quarters. She'd been there plenty of times, for both for work and social occasions, but tonight his rooms looked different. She recognized that it was her own trepidation that made them appear altered. Both of them stood in the doorway, neither speaking, each waiting for the other to be the first to break the tension between them. Summoning her courage, Kathryn finally spoke.

"I'd like to talk to you about what just happened," she stated simply.

"There's nothing to talk about. I over-stepped my 'parameters' again," he said, trying not to sound spiteful, but it came out that way anyhow.

Kathryn couldn't believe she was actually grinning at a time like this, but his throwing her words back at her somehow seemed ironic. "You didn't do anything wrong," she said, surprising him that she wasn't here to berate him for his lack of control.

"I know I told you my reasons for not wanting to get involved with you," she continued, but it's not the only thing that's holding me back."

He had always felt as if her excuses were valid, but not enough to stop her if she really wanted a relationship with him. He could see she was apprehensive about giving into him. On one level, it would mean that she was giving up. That she had accepted the fact that it could well be sixty some years before *Voyager* saw the Alpha Quadrant. And in accepting that inevitability and entering a relationship with him, the crew might see it as her giving up on finding a quicker route home. But why couldn't she see the other side as well? That she hadn't given up, but was simply making the most of the present. It was like he told her on New Earth--he couldn't sacrifice the present for a future that might never happen.

"So what else are you worried about?" he prompted, motioning her to the sofa.

She sat down on the couch, pulling herself into a ball and hugging her arms. If he needed anymore evidence that she was closing herself off, he saw it by the pained expression on her face.

"Is it cold in here?" she asked, hugging her arms tighter.

"It's the same temperature as the rest of the ship," he said, wondering why she kept stalling. "Would you like a blanket?"

"Yes. That would help," she said, thinking that maybe by actually physically wrapping something around her, it would protect her and make it easier to tell him what she had to say.

He draped the blanket around her shoulders without touching her, and was about to increase the lighting when she asked him not to.

"Please, it would be easier if it wasn't so bright." So he requested they be dimmed even further. He waited for her to speak but she remained silent, unsure where to begin.

"Kathryn, what *is* it?"

"This may be one of the most difficult things I've ever done," she confessed quietly. "I never even told Mark the whole story, but you deserve to hear the truth, so you know it's me, and not anything you've done." She pulled the blanket tighter around her compacted body and let her mind go to the area she kept tightly guarded.

"No doubt at some point you've accessed my Starfleet records."

"It was one of the first things I did when I came on the ship. I wanted to know who it was I was dealing with. I have to say it took a bit of the sting out of being captured when I found out Starfleet had sent their best after me."

Kathryn smiled slightly at his compliment, but didn't let it side track her from her purpose. "In those records you probably noticed that I had been held prisoner by the Cardassians for six months."

He nodded. Although they hadn't discussed it, he knew she was aware they both had done time at the hands of the Cardassians. It only served to increase his respect for her and her duty to Starfleet. It took someone with an overwhelming sense of loyalty to be able to look beyond the past and work with a former and sometimes current enemy. If she hadn't been so devoted to Starfleet, she would have been a perfect candidate for the Maquis. What a team they would have made! It might have even been a turning point for the Maquis in their struggle against the Cardassians.

"I was captured along with Admiral Paris when our shuttle encountered one of their ships," she said, refocusing his attention on her narrative. "We were checking a sensor array on a Urtean moon. What I didn't know was the array was being used to spy on Cardassian movements in the area. At the time I still believed it was only taking the usual scientific readings. When the Cardassians first started their interrogation, I honestly didn't believe we were on a mission other than one of scientific discovery. I had heard rumors that the *Icarus'* mission was two-fold, but I had no concrete evidence to support what I'd heard. I truly believed what I said when I swore to my captors that they were mistaken about our intentions. When they threw the evidence in my face, I couldn't believe that Admiral Paris had lied to me. I realize now he had done it for my own protection, but at the time I only saw it as his lack of trust in me. Of course my feelings of betrayal played me right into the hands of the Cardassians. You know only too well what masters they are at manipulation," she said, seeing he had picked up on her referral to Seska.

"Even though they knew I had no information they could use, they continued to beat me. I knew Admiral Paris and I weren't the only prisoners, for I'd hear them screaming, every hour of the day and night. I tried to block out the sound by singing as loudly as I could, but I could still hear the sounds of men and women pleading for mercy. Then one day I was dragged into a room different from the one I was usually taken to for my 'workout.' I was barely conscious anymore and almost hoped that this would be the time that they'd kill me and end it all. But they were good. They knew just how much a person could stand and would stop before their prisoners were allowed to escape through death."

At that point Kathryn didn't remember telling Chakotay anymore. Instead, the scene played itself out in her memory as if she were watching a holo-simulation of the event. She could physically feel herself speaking, but she couldn't recall forming the words as she stepped back into her own past. . . .

"Ensign Kathryn Janeway," the Gul before her spoke. She hadn't seen this one before. Which Order did *this* reptile belong to, she found herself wondering. Obsidian? Cerulean? Ochre? Magenta? She found her mind drifting off in silly directions more and more these days. Was this madness? Or the beginnings of it?

"My name is Gul Edan. Perhaps you've heard of me?"

"Sorry," she managed through her broken jaw. "I haven't had time to look you up in the Social Register."

He smiled at her attempt at humor. "At least my men haven't *completlely* broken you."

"That's on the agenda for tomorrow."

"I don't think so," he continued smoothly. "I think you and I can be mutually beneficial to each other. To start with, I'd like the doctor to have a look at you."

At first she wanted to say "no," that she didn't want to be fixed so that she could be broken again, but the thought of even momentary relief from her pain was too seductive.

Gul Edan signaled the doctor to come forward and examine the woman lying on the floor. She had multiple broken limbs, various cuts and bruises, but nothing that he couldn't fix. He knew what the Gul was after and he would make sure he got it. Edan could be very generous or your worst enemy, depending on how he saw your usefulness to him. He didn't intend to be on the wrong side of his nature.

"She'll be ready for you tomorrow," the doctor promised him.

"Good. See that she is."

*********

Kathryn flexed her muscles and wiggled her jaw back and forth. The doctor had done a good job, she almost felt back to normal. Almost. He showed her a mirror so she could see he'd taken care of her bruises and abrasions as well. She didn't know whether to thank the doctor or curse him for restoring her to health. In the end she settled for what she hoped was a neutral statement.

"I appreciate your efforts, doctor."

He simply nodded. So much for Cardassian bedside manner, she thought. She noticed that her uniform had been replaced by what she assumed was thought to be fashion on Cardassia. The bodice was extremely low-cut and form fitting, ending in what could hardly be considered a skirt. Her hair had been washed, no doubt to remove the encrusted blood that had collected there, and was now hanging loose down her back. It was the first time she'd been clean in weeks, and it felt nearly as good as having her injuries repaired. She sat on the edge of the bio-bed, afraid to move for fear of having her 'attributes' fall out of the costume she found herself in. The doctor handed her a pair of shoes with impossibly high heels. Was she actually supposed to *walk* in those things? The doctor helped her off the bed and lead her to his office where Gul Edan was waiting. If she had any doubts about the purpose of the outfit before, it was blatantly obvious now, as the Gul circled her like a hungry vulture. Kathryn's naturally long legs were enhanced by the shoes she had been given, and the picture she presented in her skin-tight "dress," was enticing to say the least.

"I must say you clean up rather nicely, Ensign," the Gul said, trying hard to seem as if her appearance hadn't significantly aroused him. "Good work doctor, I think you'll find a little something extra waiting in your Latinum account. Shall we my dear?" He said, waiting to escort her back to his offices.

With as much dignity Kathryn could muster, she walked before him hoping the elastic band they claimed to be clothing would remain somewhat in place. From her marches to her different rooms of torture, Kathryn had an idea of the layout of the prison, and she knew the route Gul Edan had chosen was not a direct one to his office. He was parading her before his men, making sure they all had a chance to get a good eye full. She found herself turning crimson with humiliation, wishing he would beat her rather than make her strut through the hallways of the confinement center. Her only consolation being that Admiral Paris was unconscious, and unable to witness her dishonor.

Once inside his office, Gul Edan spelled out what he expected of her.

"You are here to 'amuse' me Kathryn. May I call you Kathryn? Or would you prefer a pet name of some sort?" When she refused to answer, he continued on, obviously enjoying her discomfort.

"I'll take that as a 'yes.' You will remain here, with me, and I promise there will be no more interrogations. All you have to do is make me. . .happy. Cardassia and my family are very far away and I find myself lonely for companionship. You're very attractive, for a human," he added. Was she supposed to take that as a compliment?

"Oh, and one more thing. If you get any grand ideas about 'ignoring my attentions,' you won't be the one to suffer. I couldn't have that lovely body of yours marred by breaks and bruises, now could I? I think you're aware that there are many prisoners here, many are Starfleet, such as yourself and your companion. What is his name? Oh yes, Admiral Paris. As I said, you won't be the one to suffer, but I'm sure one of them will be more than willing to accept punishment in your name."

Kathryn swallowed. What was she going to do? The thought of giving herself to this odious creature was more than she could stand, but she couldn't jeopardize other lives either. Especially not the Admiral's. She truly would go mad if she were the cause of anymore of his pain.

"Agreed," she whispered.

"What was that my dear? I don't believe I heard you."

"I said, 'agreed!'"

"I'm glad we've got all this nasty business out of the way, aren't you? Will you join me for dinner? It looks as though you haven't had much chance to sample some of the delicacies Cardassian cuisine has to offer." He stood and extended his hand to her, but she remained glued to her chair.

"It wasn't a request Kathryn," he nearly growled at her. He knew she would test his limits, as any captive would, but he had hoped she wouldn't begin so soon.

*********

Dinner had been a trial. While she was hungry, hungrier in fact than she could ever remember, she ate little, only when he forced her. Surely he wouldn't beat someone because she didn't clean her plate? It was a small victory, but it did give her some sense of peace to know she had regained at least a minute portion of control in this situation. She continued to play with her food, trying to stall the inevitable, but Edan had different ideas.

"I believe you have finished Kathryn," he said, causing her to flinch the way he pronounced her name, almost as if it were a profanity. Grabbing her by the upper arm he propelled her from the eating area of his quarters to the sleeping chamber.

The room was furnished in the same cold style the rest of his quarters exhibited, and she found herself wondering if it were a Cardassian trait, or his personal taste. She hardly expected a warm, cheery atmosphere in a prison, but she would have thought there would have been some personal mementos in his private rooms. Pictures of his supposedly estranged family at the very least. However, the only adornment to grace the austere walls was a rather prominently displayed weapon, and she wondered if it had sentimental value or was there to intimidate her.

Laying on the bed was a piece of filmy lingerie which Edan nodded to and said, "I'll be back in a moment. I expect you to be wearing that." He crossed to a bathroom, and left her to dress.

"You sure know how to put a girl in the mood," she mumbled under her breath, hoping the sarcasm would steel her for what she was about to endure. She picked up the garment and noticed with alarm that it was nearly transparent. Momentarily she thought to simply place the sheer fabric over the already revealing outfit she wore, but Gul Edan's patience with her was dangerously near it's end. She couldn't allow him to follow through with his threat to hurt the other prisoners in her stead. Gritting her teeth, she issued a silent prayer to whom ever or what ever would hear her, and removed one article of provocative clothing and replaced it with the other.

Edan entered the bed chamber and found her sitting on the edge of the bed, practically the only piece of furniture in the room. She had her legs crossed and her arms folded across her chest, both as a measure to conceal herself and to retain some warmth. The Gul walked over to her, taking her hand, forcing her to stand. He was dressed considerably more modestly than herself, in a pair of loose-fitting silk pants, but his clothing did nothing to hide his interest in her. She had never seen a Cardassian out of uniform, but wasn't surprised to see the scaly cartilage that graced their faces and necks extended to their chests as well. With a shuddering thought, Kathryn wondered if *all* their appendages were equally scaly.

"Now this is the woman I knew you could be when I first spotted you," he said, taking in every inch of her with his intense gaze. "I only wish you hadn't been exposed to so many unpleasantries before I found you. You can't have formed a very positive opinion of us."

"Cardassian 'hospitality' is legendary," she said simply, feeling her face burn at his intense scrutiny.

"Actually, we can be very hospitable to our friends," he said, pouring a liquid into two glasses that rested on a night stand. As if to make his point about hospitality, he handed her one. She eyed the forest-green liquid suspiciously.

"Oh come now Kathryn, if I wanted to drug you, don't you think I would done so already?" She wondered if maybe he had somehow. He enjoyed keeping her guessing, and his "advance and retreat" technique was certainly working at confusing her.

"It's called Kanarr, and it's considered a rare vintage on Cardassia."

Tentatively she took a sip. The taste of actual alcohol overwhelmed her taste buds, but then the flavor of the drink came through. At first it was hot, almost too hot, followed by a cooling sensation, leaving the slight aftertaste of ginger and almond. It seem a perfect drink for the Cardassians who's personalities also displayed a similar duality.

"What do you think?" Edan always enjoyed watching the face of someone who was trying Kanarr for the first time. It told him a lot about a person, how they handled intense sensations that quickly changed. He was disappointed in Janeway's countenance. She had managed to slip a mask of indifference over her features, denying him his pleasure at seeing her true self. She was stoic, even by Cardassian standards.

"It's different," she stated neutrally.

"Did you like how it felt?" He asked, still trying to elicit a response from her. Kathryn shrugged her shoulders in an ambiguous gesture.

"It has the same effect when it's applied to the skin," he added seductively, and she found herself wondering who's skin he was referring to.

Taking one more long drink of the Kanarr, and motioning her to have a little more, he gathered their glasses and replaced them on the night table. Without warning, he pushed her onto the bed, tearing the fragile fabric that surrounded her and removed his own clothing as well. Kathryn began to panic. If perhaps there had been a bit of a preamble. . . . If only he would dim the lights. If she hadn't had to look at his reptilian visage maybe she would have been able to get through this. . . . But something inside her snapped, and her Starfleet training automatically took over. She fought him with everything that she had, forgetting his warning of the consequences. Her elbow made contact with his jaw and there was a sickening crunch that stopped them both from struggling for a brief moment.

Gray-green blood gathered in the corner of his mouth as he left the bed to examine the extent of the damage she'd done. The bitch! He wanted nothing more than to slam her beautiful, yet repulsive face into the wall, and perhaps even beat her to death as well. But she was too valuable to him, besides the investment he had recently made in her renewed health, there was the money he could make with her. Women of any species were few and far between on this world. He tried his jaw, but he knew she had broken it. How was he going to explain this to that smug son-of-a-bitch of a doctor?

Janeway lay on the bed panting, waiting for him to return and attack her. She could see in his eyes that he wanted to, and almost gave in, but something stopped him. Instead he grabbed her long hair and dragged her from the bed.

"Get dressed," he snarled through his injured mouth, tossing her former outfit at her. She could see he wanted to say more to her, but his broken face wouldn't allow it. Disappearing into the bathroom, he returned dressed in his uniform. Without a word to her, he left, knowing she would test all the exits, but she would find none that would open to her.

*********

Kathryn paced the rooms like the caged animal she was. Back in her cell she didn't have to worry that her space was too limited to move--she couldn't even if she'd wanted to, and she never wanted to move again when they returned her.

She'd tried every means of escape she could think of to get away from Edan's quarters. She had found a cleverly concealed access panel, but it only got her into the Gul's office. Security measures on that exit were even more stringent than the ones she broken through. Still searching for an access panel, she heard the screams. They weren't muffled like the ones she heard on the cell block. These were being piped in. A direct comm link to one of the interrogation rooms. There was the sound of a weak voice pleading for no more, to just let them die. And then the hollow laugh of the guards. One of them started to mimic the man's plea for release, just before there was another gut-wrenching sound of an object striking the prisoner. Silence. Then:

"Did you kill him?"

"No, he should make it one more day."

Janeway ran to the farthest corner of the office and covered her ears as she heard another victim being dragged in to receive her punishment. She shrank herself into the smallest ball she could and cowered in the corner. Tears were streaming down her face as she rocked back and forth, singing the German lullaby her mother sang to her as a child, trying to erase the sound of the next man's torture.

Hours later Gul Edan released the lock on his office and noticed a figure hunched in the corner. He knew immediately that it was her, and he was impressed she had managed to break into his office. He could see he was going to have to beef up the security measures on his personal quarters. Due to his separation from her, most of his anger was gone. He'd hardly expected her to roll over and allow him to have sex with her, but he hadn't anticipated her violent reaction either. It was a mistake he wouldn't make again. As soon as the doctor had repaired his jaw he issued the order to torture several individuals and have the comm channel to his office and quarters opened. He had knew the effect it would have on her. He was counting on it. As he stood before her, he saw his methods had been effective, and without a word to her, walked into his quarters and shut the door.

Kathryn didn't know how long she sat shivering in the corner of the dark office. The screams had long since stopped, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't turn the sound of them off in her head. He had her. And he knew it. That was why he hadn't spoken to her. There was no need. Standing on shaky legs she slowly walked towards his quarters, stopping before a sink to wash the tear stains from her face. A part of her died in his office that night, and she was about to sacrifice another part. Walking into Edan's bed chamber she stood at the end of his bed and silently removed her dress. He watched her actions in equal silence, as he made room for her in the large bed that dominated the room. Still neither spoke. There was nothing to say.

*********

Days went by, then it was weeks. She'd given up keeping track of the time, after all, what was the point. She and Edan had an uneasy truce, and each day blended into the next, always culminating in his using her body for his release. She was able to disassociate herself from the action for the most part, and she was getting better at it. At first she would try to remember the names of all the students that were in her classes with her back at the Academy. As she pictured them in her mind and tried to attach a name, she found that she could distract herself enough to block out what was happening to her body. Edan knew what she was doing and so did his level best to break her with seduction, but he had been unable to get through to her. It was her one small victory over him. Seeing her drift off yet again, Edan thought it was time to change the nature of their "relationship."

At first he was selfish and wanted her to himself, regardless of the profit he was losing. He reveled in the envious looks his men gave him that he had a woman, any woman to share his bed. But lately the envy of his men wasn't enough. He was getting bored with her and decided that by introducing a little more humiliation to the mix might bring her around. After all, once she was passed amongst his men, wouldn't she beg him to take her back and be the only one she was required to have sex with? And if it didn't break her, at least he'd have the Latinum for comfort.

Kathryn felt her throat go dry as Gul Edan revealed his latest attempt to get her to succumb to his demands. She'd become quite the actress lately and managed to keep a bland look on her face as he told her, in graphic detail, what she could expect from his men. She simply stared off into space, as if bored, and lifted the fork mechanically to her mouth. The food, turning to sawdust in her mouth, was washed down with a fair amount of Kanarr. She had discovered a liking for it, or more appropriately, the pleasant "buzzy" feeling it gave her. He watched her knock back the drink as if it were Ferengi synthale.

"Take it easy on the Kanarr," he snapped. "That's the last of it, and it *is* a little costly for you to be drinking as if it were water." Kathryn was in an equally fowl mood, with the revelation of her latest "duty." She took her index finger and traced the rim of her glass, slowly, capturing his attention, then she raised the digit to her mouth and sucked off the Kanarr she had collected. Edan swallowed at her overtly sexual gesture.

"Gods, you're such a whore," he spat out at her.

"If I am, it's all thanks to your careful instruction, and likely I'll be even more skilled before the week is out." She rose and tossed the remainder of the Kanarr in his face.

Immediately Edan was on his feet, hand raised, as if to strike her.

"Go ahead!" She screamed. "Why don't you just hit me? You know you want to! Or will that diminish my 'value?' I've seen your men Edan, been one of their 'guests.' I don't think a few bruises will matter to them as long as I can still open my legs!"

He didn't know what to do with her anymore. Any thing he did to reach her would invariably end with her in some self-induced semi-catatonic state, where nothing he did mattered. Maybe he *should* beat her! But that's what she wanted. She wanted him to kill her to release her from her guilt. He wasn't ready to do that just yet. He still had the option of multiple rape he could use against her, and now with her waspish behavior, he felt it was the only choice he had left. He was *not* going to be beaten by this piddling little Ensign from a race of weaklings!

*********

Kathryn found herself in one of the interrogation rooms, but all the instruments of torture had been removed.

"Welcome my little bird," she heard Edan's voice over the comm channel. God she hated it when he called her that! Did he know how close it was to her father's term of endearment, Goldenbird? He couldn't. It had to be a coincidence. Still it was one of the most trying things about her association with the Gul. A constant reminder of the home she would never see again.

"Where are you?" she asked the empty room.

"In my office. Where did you think I'd be?"

"Either here, to watch, or in your bedroom, playing along."

"Kathryn, Kathryn," he admonished her, "what happened to the shy, virginal girl you were when I first met you?"

"You fucked it out of me," she said with a coarse laugh, wanting to be as crude as he had made her feel.

"Your 'guests' should be arriving shortly," he said, taken aback at her statement.

"Oh good. Will it be one at a time or are we having a party?" She knew he could see her, although she couldn't see him. She willed herself to stand still. She would not give him the satisfaction of seeing her tremble with the fear she felt. Just then the door opened with a hiss of air, admitting the guards. She tried not to count, but couldn't stop herself. Fifteen. All waiting to have a turn at her. Kathryn hadn't realized she'd backed up to the wall until her body made contact with the cold metal. The men advanced into the room; some she recognized, others she didn't. She was sure she'd know them all by the end of the evening. Trying to focus her mind anywhere but in the room she occupied, she wished for the millionth time that she had taken Vulcan meditative techniques at the Academy, so she could place herself somewhere safe while the men brutalized her physical shell.

On to part 5