If you've heard any good ones lately, I would love to hear them. Please feel free to put them in my guestbook or e-mail them to me. You may find them on ths page later...
* I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day.
* Do you work for UPS? I noticed you were checking out my package.
* You've got 206 bones in your body. Would you like another?
* Wanna play Army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell out of me!
* I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille nametag.
* Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?
* You may not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is just a light switch away.
* (looking down at his crotch) Well, it's not going to blow itself.
* Hi, my name is (your name)... Remember it, you'll be screaming it later.
* Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk past you again?
* Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
* I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you!
* I know that milk does a body good, but damn! How much have you been drinking lately?
* Wanna come over to my place for pizza and sex? No? Why? Don't you like pizza?
* Do you sleep on your stomach? No? Then can I sleep on it?
* Do you wash your pants in windex? Because I can see myself in them.
He: Nice legs, when do they open?
She: Nice mouth, when does it shut?
He: Your place or mine?
She: How about both? You go to your place and I'll go to mine.
He: Would you like to come over to my place?
She: I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?
He: What would you say to a little fuck?
She: Get lost you little fuck!
Her: Just what would you give me if I did sleep with you? Syphillis?
He: Haven't I seen you before?
Her: Yes, and that's why I don't go there any more.
Her: Yes, I'm the nurse at the V.D. clinic.
He: Underneath these clothes, I'm completely naked.
She: Yeah, prove it. To somebody else.
Her: I would offer to take you home and shag your brains out, but it looks as though somebody has beaten me to it!
He: It's not how big it is, it's what you can do with it that counts.
She: Well you certainly can do something amazing, you make it almost invisible to the naked eye!
He: Is any one sitting here?
She: No, and nobody will be sitting where I am if you sit down there.