| Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla (1974) |
| Rating: 4 Severed Heads |
 |
|
| Synopsis: You know it's going to be a bad day when an age old prophecy of doom starts coming true. Members of the Azumi tribe have predicted that a great monster will come from the sky to destroy the world, and the Earth's only saving grace is the Azumi's guardian monster, King Seesar. So what does this have to do with Godzilla? It seems that aliens from the Third Planet of the Blackhole (who turn into monkeys when killed) have built a cyborg version Godzilla called Mechagodzilla to destroy the real Godzilla. And if they stop King Seesar from being awoken, nothing can stop the aliens from conquering the world (although they never say why they want to conquer Earth). Now it's up to a group of scientists to get a magic statue to the island of the Azumi and awake King Seesar so he can "help" Godzilla destroy Mechagodzilla (since when does Godzilla need help from a giant monster that looks like a cross between Alf, a pekinese, and a shag carpet?). Although not the best Godzilla movie, Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla does introduce Mechagodzilla (who must have been destined to be a fan favorite from day one), as well as the Simian aliens from the Third Planet of the Blackhole, both of whom show up again in Terror of Mechagodzilla. This film isn't dubbed as well as some of the other Godzilla films and incorperates some really silly dialouge. For instance, I lost count of how many times someone answers with Mmm, Uh, Eh, Hmm or something of the sort. |
| What Has This Movie Taught Us? -An advanced civilization that can create Mechagodzilla can't remove a facial birthmark -King Seesar can only be awoke by a woman singing an annoying, elaborate, over-orchestrated Japanese pop song -Aliens from the Third Planet of the Blackhole have not yet developed peepholes -There is an asian guy who looks like Jimmy Fallon -"Alpha..." "Centarus" |
 |
| Memorable Moments: 04min- That's not a prophecy! That's every day in Toho's Japan 09min- I'm sorry sir, the Asian Elvis Impersonator's Convention is down the hall 13min- It's called Space Titanium. Where do you think it comes from, Delaware? 18min- Doesn't anyone notice that Godzilla sounds different? 20min- This movie should have been called Godzilla vs. Holiday Inn! 23min- Where does a giant monster go to get his jaw wired shut? 24min- How does Mechagodzilla drop a brick of space titanium, and why is it a regular brick spray painted silver? 27min- What is that thing? A scar? A birthmark? A grape jelly stain? 35min- Seriously man, get that thing on your face checked out! I'm sure a doctor can remove it 42min- Every film should have a lawn chair fight 46min- Could it be? Asian Jimmy Fallon! 49min- Couldn't they use a quicker method of execution? 53min- Nice password 66min- Make...this...song...STOP! Mechagodzilla, destroy her! |
|
| Don't Quote Us On That: "It's a powerful pipe." (And all the stoners watching chuckle) Alien Chief Kuronuma: "Damn Godzilla. You're mistaken if you think your powers are a match for Mechagodzilla." Prof. Miyajima: "I'm sure Mechagodzilla is being controlled by a spaceman. The space metal is the evidence!" Prof. Miyajima: "Who are you?" Alien Chief Kuronuma: "Commander for the conquest of Earth from the Third Planet of the Blackhole, outer space." |
|
|
|