Oh look.. it'e me....
Lisa Stevens Brotz
To my friends online, I am also known as
Opium_54, Subsequel, BlackMagic^, ^AngeNoire^
Me..I am Lisa Stevens Brotz. At the beginning of time.. I was born, in a hospital in Buffalo, NY.. I can't remember which on though.. you know, the big one.. I am daughter to two parents, grand daughter to one grand father, neice to a couple of people.. and sibling to Jay and Errica, the two people, that although I don't want to admit it, have probably been the most influential people in my life. They are both extremely strong-minded, intelligent, artistic people, who have these bubbley, warm, colorful, and infectious personalities. I currently live in a small town in western NY, and despite what I usually say, it really isn't THAT bad. I am the only child left at home, it's wierd, I talk to Jay every once and a while on ICQ, and Errica recently.. well, in January or February I think, moved out and headed to the great white north.. aka Toronto. I haven't talked to her since. But that's ok, we all need freedom. I have these amazing friends, Jenn, who is pretty much a part of my family, Tina, Tim, Evan, Jim, Mandy, Dan, and a lot others that I could spend forever talking about. With out these people, I honestly don't know how I would function.
Ok, more about me, I am currently 16. Just to prove how young I am, I had my first driving lesson yesterday! Yup.. aww.. how cute right? Ok..but really, driving is very fun.. I am looking forward to driving a lot more in my future :) . I consider myself a very artistic person, and I know that I want to be some form of artist when I get older. I also love biology, (note the background) I find it facinating learning how different organisms function. I am tall for my age, but not tall in the long run, I have shoulder-length dirty-blonde hair, which is driving me crazy!! I need it cut!! Until Feb. 12, I had an eyebrow ring, but it was growing out too much so I took it out to heal over and I plan on getting peirced again very soon. I have big blue eyes which I love to look at in the mirror.. just watching my pupils get bigger and smaller seem so cool to me. Now, I do not find myself ugly, but I do not see myself as attractive by any means.. people might say I have both a self-asteem and attitute problem.. well fuck them!! :) No, I am not that bad, I am cureous as to how my friends would describe me.. I am the quazi-mother to a turtle named Mortimer, and a cat named Bela (it's a boy! We found the testicles a few weeks after we got him). I am currently studying Wicca, or at least trying to. I am not putting a label on myself sexually.. I figure that I will fall in love with whom ever I will fall in love with..and it just occured to me, most of my friends at school don't know that..so if you're reading this.. SURPRISE!! :)
Something wierd has happened to me this year.. you know how in all of those sappy teen-trouble movies, there is this very apparent line between the ''jocks'' and ''geeks'' and the ''popular bitches'' and all of the other so-called groups, well in my school, it has never been THAT destinct, and I have always known that.. but still I labeled all of the dumb, ignorant, sexist guys on the sports teams ''jocks'' and all of the rich, anerxic-looking socialite girls as the ''popular people'', I mean, I hated them, I would have rather drunken drain-o that have talked to them..oh yeah, I can read your mind, you think, oh christ..another ''coming of age'' story.. its just another after school special.. well shut up..hold on a sec, I figured out why I hated them so much.. (sniff) it's cause my father never took me to the zoo!!! :~( (sniff) :) no no, kiding..kidding, its cause I was scared I think.. but since I have been in highschool all of those stupid little shitty people from middle school have grown up, and although some of them are still sluts and bitches and still annoy the crap out of me.. at least now I have the guts to kick their asses if I have to.. aren't I sweet? You know, I realize now how friggin nieve I was, ok, I will explain, see until probably the end of last year, and some of this year, I pretty much new that a lot of students in my school drank.. not that big of a deal, although it was annoying to hear people going around bragging about being pissed, they think they're rebels or some shit, anyways, I knew people drank, but I didn't know just how many people in my school, like.. did other shit, not until I saw two people I knew, not really friends, with bowl burns on their arms because they fell asleep while smoking pot..don't misunderstand me, I am not a ''super-kid'' all clean and tidey and saying if you smoke up you're going to hell, geez, I don't even believe in Hell, I mean, smoking pot is healthier than smoking cigarettes, I just don't care you know.. not that important of an issue, and I do admit to those reading this, I have never smoked it.. aww.. right? well well.. back to some point I was making 10 minutes ago.. I found out not too long ago, that this guy I had liked (and still kinda do) is this total pot head.. and if he is reading this.. you know who you are.. see I could say his name.. right now.. and all of my friends reading this would be like.. ''OH!! Reggie is a pot head!!!''... ooops, sorry Reg, said your name.. sucks to be you.. :)
I don't know.. I don't have much to offer to the world, or even you the reader.. I am just an ordinary person, like you, with ordinary problems, like you.. sitting up, tired, dark circles under my eyes, at 1:54am on a Tuesday morning.. writing on my web page.. ok, so maybe thats not exactly like you but close enough!! Give me a break man, I'm tired!!! :) Ok, just a lil bit more about me before I run out of space.. Lets see, I am a total sap, give me a movie or a book with a love story in it, and I will latch on like there is no tomorrow.. but despite this, I have never experienced the real thing.. I would be jealous of my friends Mandy and Dan, because from an outsiders point of view, it seems like they have, but I know jealousy wouldn'd get me anywhere.. anyways, I've have never had any emotion close to love, or even a ''more-than-friends'' effection returned to me.. and it's starting to get hard, I admit, and I know that sounds sad, considering I am only 15.. but hey, what are you going to do.. you know? This is why, I think.. I have always been able to have these really good day-dreams.. lately, especially, I have been having these really cool day-dreams about one of my friends and me, ok, not THAT way, not actually having sex, just being together.. and its wierd, cause I don't really have feelings for this friend, it's just easy to day-dream about him.. in real life, he's kind of crude, and horny as all hell, but geez, so am I, and hopefully everyone one else my age.. in these day-dreams, its always night, and always outside, in the pool, or on the grass watching the stars, just really nice (lack of a better word).. well, no more space left, as you can see, so.. here's me.. bare-boned and naked for you to see.. please don't drive the steaks too hard into my chest.. I bruise easily.. good night..
''And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light that shines for me, shine on until tomorrow, let it be..'' -The Beatles
