SPOOKY PARALLELS BETWEEN THE WORLD OF ROCK AND ITS ENEMIES (BE THEY PUTATIVELY WITHIN ITS FRAMEWORK OR OUTSIDE WORKING ON ITS DESTRUCTION)
Tipper Gore
plays drums, idolizes old time rock ‘n’ roll, yet works to oppress and misunderstand modern music. Maureen Tucker of Velvet Underground fame plays drums, idolizes old time rock ‘n’ roll and spends time, both in the documentary The Band That Would Be King (about misunderstood modern musicians Half Japanese) and in print, on attacking the state of MTV and contemporary rock stations. (Other odd points: Maureen has had unkind things to say about Frank Zappa, and that late fellow was one of Tipper’s targets (though Ms. Gore recently played drums on a cover of one of his pieces). Furthermore, while Tipper and Maureen could have an enjoyable record party, I doubt the Velvet Underground is dear to the former’s heart).
Carly Simon, Lesley Gore, Linda Eastman
(later McCartney) and Yoko Ono all attended Sarah Lawrence College, though, except for Carly and Lesley, not at the same time. I leave it to you to decide who I would declare the enemy or enemies of rock…though the anticipation should not be much to bear or lead you to take Wings and fly…
Lene Lovich
, free spirited vocalist, primarily plays saxophone (starting in jazz), but has also dabbled in trumpet and violin; Ornette Coleman, free jazz musician, who has doubtless sung in the shower, primarily plays saxophone, but has also dabbled in trumpet and violin. (Ornette is not technically an enemy of rock, but, while he has collaborated with Yoko Ono, the Grateful Dead and Pat Metheny (many would disagree about the rock credentials of those named), he has not been a bosom buddy of the genre, though people such as Lou Reed and Iggy Pop have claimed influence).
Alanis Morrissette
started her career as a child star, then went on to do aggressive major label albums full of incorrectly used terms, pretense and bluster, making the occasional goodwill trip to distant lands; Shirley Temple-Black started her career as a child star, then became a US diplomat to developing nations, encouraging them to accumulate unserviceable debt and patting children on the head while cooing how cute they were.
Diana Ross
performs before large crowds, telling them how much she loves them, all smiles and lame jokes, while also telling them not to touch her unless touched first; Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretien performs before large crowds, telling them how much he loves them, all smiles and lame jokes, while strangling anyone who dares to get too close to him. One is not entirely certain which is better, though at least Mr. Chretien spares us a million clothing and wig changes in his appearances (because, surely, if he HAD other choices of wardrobe and accessories, he would MAKE them…).