SEX, LIES AND VIDEOTAPE
"Hey!...
me and my stripper girlfriends want to get naked!"
"I'm
lost.....and I can't find my clothes!"
"These
say I can get in" <flash of breasts>
"<insert
band member> is the father of my unborn baby"
I
don't need a pass because (insert singers name) is my soulmate.
He's gonna leave his wife for me....really!
"You
mean (insert band members name) didn't leave my pass here...there
must be some kind of a mistake" (walk away disappointed with
messed up hair and wrinkled clothes.)
DISASTER
SCENARIO ...
"The
tourbus is on fire!"
"My
pass?... oh yeah, I keep it right here (pointing to under shirt
or down underwear) would you like to check it?"
"We
have drugs"
"I've
got the [booze, drugs, girls, condoms] for the band"
"
I went to school with <insert band members name> I met him
(lead singer) last time you guys were here... he's my boy....
"
I
am supposed to see some guy named Dave... he has my pass backstage
"I'm
important...without me there's no show !!! "
"I
met them in the bar last night, they said to come by and I could
sing on-stage with them."
GETTING
DESPERATE NOW...
re-mortgage a house, and then pay huge amounts
to the nearest tout (yeah right!)
win
a competition (yeah right!)
say that you're the third cousin of the drummers uncles ex girlfriend,
who used to be a man and, as your alibi, has a pink fairy tattoo
in a place they'll never check!
shout
"I'll do ANYTHING !!!"
shout
" Get out of my way !!! "
ask
the band " Remember me? From last year's show?? "
