If you
have ever been to a gig or concert you'll have tripped over some
of those weird fans that take it too far. Fans
from hell (hmm, sounds like a bad tv series that...) The
groupies who will coordinate their hair, wardrobe and body to look
like their idols. The ones who will sell their kidneys for rare
promo singles. The screamagers who trample you over old women and
young kids to get to the front of a gig... and threaten to put a
voodoo curse on you if you merely smile in the direction of the
lead singer. Does this sound like you??? Maybe you don't consider
yourself as a groupie - just a really huge fan? Don't be so sure...
- When
one of their songs plays in a trendy clothes shop or supermarket,
you have to supress the impulse to yell at everyone in the shop,
"Oi! Listen to this genius!!!"
- You've
set your alarm for 6 AM to record some obscure television appearance.
- You
own every recording they ever made or played on, even the one in
which the bassist only provided a 5-second guitar riff for someone
else.
- in
addition, you own several different versions of the same album or
song, just because some minuscule detail is different.
- When
one of their songs comes on your car radio, you crank it up and
sing at the top of your lungs, even though you already own 17 different
versions of that song at home.
- Your
family and friends have begged you to get therapy (if you haven't
already...)
- When
talking with other fans, you refer to the band members by their
first names *only*, as if talking about absent friends.
- You've
used lines from songs in everyday conversation, then snickered at
your own cleverness. (Especially effective when used in the company
of other fans).
- Emptied
your bank account and used all your holiday time to follow a band
on tour.
- Paid
over £100 to a ticket tout.
- Spent
hours making hand-made signs and posters.
- Significantly
enhanced parts of your anatomy while smuggling a camera into concerts,
even though to date you've taken 13,642 photos of the band.
- Worn
hand-designed t-shirts to concerts because the official ones aren't
unique enough.
- Noticed
immediately when the lead singer changes the lyrics to one line
of a song during a live gig.
- You
have pen-pals in foreign countries.
- Got
band tattoos. Next!
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