Often times I find myself sitting and wondering just who it is that I am. I find it so odd, this thing we call humanity and our very sense of being. It is puzzling to me all these different ideas of just what it is that a person decides him or herself to be. That there should even be a him or a her bewilders me to no end. Certainly we are either male or female, but that is a physical feature. Should we define ourselves solely on physicality? What of the complex psychological makeup of an individual? Can one be physically one sex yet psychologically the opposite? What are the roles and importance of femininity and masculinity and how does one assign such traits to any given persona? Certainly we have all these capabilities within each of us. An action may be deemed one or the other in such a context, but what does it say about the individual in question? As an example, take the classic sensitive man. Are the traits of empathy, compassion and the desire to nurture universal traits, or would they more likely be classified as feminine traits? And equally, what of the determined feminist? Would her aggressiveness, independence and aversion to passivity be considered masculine traits? With these labels and definitions of what such traits should and should not be come expectations and the habit of typecasting. This is not to say that these things do not or should not exist, but by practicing such categorization we unwittingly limit ourselves to all the possibilities of what can exist in a person.
Now the physical aspect of our existence would seem the most cut and dry. It is chemistry at its purest and when standing alone without the influence of mentality, the body and physical functions follow some standard laws we call physics. The psychological aspect however breaks down into an enormous web of intricacy and nuance. Herein lies human will, belief structure and what we call self determinism. It could seemingly be broken down into two main fields: Intellect and emotion. A fourth aspect could be labeled as spiritual or that of pure being. The very force or source of life itself. One does not have to look far to see that life force exists without the need for mind or emotion as we define them. Simply look at the many varieties of plants and even those forms of animal life that have no brain, most notably single celled organisms.
So what are we? Are we the body? Do we define ourselves by the form we inhabit? Are we the complex structure of mind? Should we consider ourselves to be our personalities? Our wants, fears, ideas and beliefs? Perhaps we are simply the essence of life itself directing these other facets in the guise of individuality. Or maybe we are all of these things. But if we are all of these then what of the rest of creation? Surely if I define a part of myself as the physical, then I must certainly include all things. For it is certainly most provable that the physical elements that make up this body are ever interchanging with my surroundings. That which was once an apple, or growing wheat, water or even air combines with what I call my body to integrate into this physical system and then just as easily is discarded to continue in a never ending cycle of transformation with the environment. So if I am physical, it stands to reason that the carbon dioxide that is released by means of my body�s respiration, only to be reintegrated into the living system of a nearby plant, is still in some way me. This is an idea that seems difficult for the mind to accept.
So then, let us look at the mind. Here is where I feel most people define themselves. Our ideas, thoughts, individual beliefs and emotions. The mind would seem to be the seat of individuality itself. But is this what we are? Simply a mass of neurons firing off electrical impulses and directing the physical body? If so, then we must include the physical as well. Because as far as we know, and what stands to reason, is that the brain/mind cannot exist without the body. Damage the brain and that which we call personality becomes altered. Even when one is completely physically healthy personality can change. Like the rest of the universe, change of the personality is inevitable. There are of course those things we call habit and core personality, and one may even maintain the same outlook and beliefs throughout a lifetime, but there will always be changes and adjustments to personality dependent on reactions to environmental influences. And along this line of reasoning we are never the same �person� since we are constantly adjusting to stimuli both external and internal. In this line of thinking another thought comes to me that we would seem to be very much different to many different people. One might think you are amazing, another may find you quite uninteresting and downright boring. Here is the realm of perception of self as well as the perceptions of others. Are we defined by these perceptions? If so, then we could quite conceivably become all things imaginable! We would be limited only by the ability or inability to accept any given possibility or preponderance. Here seems to be the most chaotic facet of ourselves, imagination without conformity. And this is where ideas such as good and evil/right and wrong come into play. The area of contrast which makes up the variety of life. Certainly it would seem that this is where man gets the bulk of his ideas about self.
Ideas about what should and shouldn�t be, how one should act, what one should desire or believe, ethical values, cultural tradition, sexuality, political affiliation, morality�. The list goes on and on. It is enough to make one�s head spin! How can it possibly make any sense? For every point there is a counterpoint, an opposite. And that is not even mentioning all the shades of gray that lie in between. It is no wonder we have difficulty in determining ourselves. And then when we throw emotion into the mix of intellect it becomes all the more confusing. We may rationalize things a particular way, but FEEL completely different about something derived solely from logic. So is this what we wish to define ourselves as? Something with no definite conclusiveness? The lost souls of the world? I think we all have played the part.
So then, what of the life force itself? What separates us from say an aluminum can? It would seem logical that a coke can is not alive and has no personality. What do we have that it doesn�t? That thing called life. Is this the definition of self? The very essence which animates the otherwise lifeless? That which makes all other facets of our individual personas possible? Is this what we are? Seems pretty droll when looked at all by itself. Where is the variety? Where is the individuality? Without individuality we would be just another blade of grass in the field or another grain of sand on the beach. So are we just that? A force of animation?
Well, after all this I have only one conclusion. We are comprised of all these elements. Complete only when looked at in our entirety. All things mentioned above and therefore all things imaginable. History has shown us that even the most astounding and unbelievable things can become reality. The very existence of this complex machine I am using to record these ideas proves the point. And what of the future? What strange and unbelievable things will become standard in the future? What will we create as an extension of ourselves in times yet to come? Will we come to see things more clearly in the realm of that elusive thing we call reality? It is always changing. Reality that is. The unimaginable is challenged and moves into the realm of everyday occurrence. So what are we? Who knows? It is probably better to ask, What will we become?
