Today I dwell in the realm of spirit. So serene it seems. It is standing alone and being strong. Knowing that there is true independence and freedom from fear, pain and sorrow. Here is the acceptance and understanding of events in the light of Truth. The knowledge that ALL things can have purpose or meaning and significance. Here are also the simplistic joys of the everyday and common. The true peace of serene wisdom, untouchable and pure. Unable to be tainted or soiled and that part of creation which shares in the very folds of divinity. Here there is hope, love, faith and community with all creation.
But also from here, looking out at the physical realm, is a sense of disappointment and sorrow that weighs on the realm of heart and emotion. Because here, there is an understanding of how much of the suffering in the world is unnecessary. The negative forces of atrophy and dissolution, death and violence seem exercised to futility. Why must it be so? Greed, selfishness, anger, hate, war and sorrow. They all serve to disrupt or destroy harmony, but yet they have structure, form and their own sense of morbid beauty. My spirit dreads them and yet knows that without them it would not exist. At least not in the sense that it now exists. To know ultimate joy, you must be able to know, understand or even appreciate ultimate sorrow. To appreciate life, one must know of or understand death. Love must know hate and so on. Every force has it�s opposite. Equal in it�s extreme to the other. Silence must know sound, light must know darkness, heat must know cold, body must know soul.
In exploring these extremes there is the strangeness of feeling connected with all things, but also the feeling of isolation or being cut off from all things in equal measure. A strange sense of understanding and knowledge mixed with equal parts insanity and uncertainty. What is illusion? What is real? What is perception�s role in all of this? In speaking with others of my revelations, I usually sense a feeling of discomfort. Sort of a combination of fear, apathy and ignorance all mixed up. It seems mostly to serve to separate me from others as I discuss it deeper with them. However, when it remains unspoken and I simply live by the principles of these Truths and they show in my life, it seems to serve to attract others.
Perhaps it is simply a different way of communicating. Trying to speak in intellectual and physical terms of spiritual things seems to unnerve people and make them uncomfortable when immersed so deeply. Perhaps it is the limitations of language being so definitive yet incomplete. Is this why you used parables and metaphors sweet Jesus? Can full Truth not be captured by language or seem too cold, hard and blunt for most people to swallow when expressed this way? Must it be this way? Please reveal to me what is the best way to total understanding and acceptance so that I may understand and do your will. As physical beings, must we truly have war to appreciate peace? Must we experience great sorrow to appreciate great joy? And is compassion the tool to help others through the transitions? Can someone who has committed murder without remorse and with a hateful and furious heart truly find humility and therefore redemption? I believe it to be so, for I have been in similar situations.
I have trodden through the swamps of despair and mercilessness only to rise up out of it into the clouds of enlightenment and compassion through your grace lord. I will always be growing and improving with you to guide me, but now that I have come to see and know so much, where will future paths lead me? I feel that there is little left to explore sometimes, but is this just my own ignorance of things not yet understood and not revealed? In my very need to ask these things I know that it is so and that there are still new roads to walk, new paths to discover. I trust lord that you will show me the way when the times come.
~FIN
