Well, here it is, a month later and hopefully the last entry of this subject. As I felt all along, Greg is now speaking to me again. He wrote me a letter and I returned one to him. Both expressed feelings. Everything seems back to normal, but I can�t help but feel that something is wrong. I can�t put my finger on it, but it is definitely there. There is something that gives me negative feelings about Greg. I noticed that after we talked he seemed to act in a way as if nothing ever happened. As if he learned nothing. It seemed to me that he was very eager to set up communications again. This, in all outward appearances, is fantastic. But yet, I still feel a bit uneasy. My reason tells me that I�m overreacting and I�m making something out of nothing, but my gut feelings say to be very cautious. They have never been wrong yet.
Another thing I noticed was that Greg seemed more insulting than usual. It seemed that he would verbally assault at every opportunity. I found myself very annoyed. I realized that I don�t need that sort of hindrance in my life. I don�t understand why Greg always seems to need to knock people down a peg. I think I will try to be very supportive and not be insulting. I would like to see if it has any effect. I know it will be hard because it has never been easy to change old habits. But I realize that I no longer want to be a disruptive person. I want to be constructive and supportive. I wish to be able to bring people up instead of put them down. The love in my heart grows stronger.
I don�t know if I will overcome in the task to come. Greg�s verbal abilities are very finely tuned. I will have to see if he will be willing to change a little. Hopefully he will learn to use that fantastic wit to help people instead of hinder them. Maybe he will learn to use that gift for God. This I hope for. But, that�s all up to him. The desire and self-confidence must inevitably come from within himself. Time will tell.
Fin.~ |
