REDNECK IF.........
PART 2
Your home has more miles on it than your car.
Your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips berore telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass.
You stand under the misletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.
Your family tree doesn't fork.
Your mother has been involved in a fistfight at a high school sports event.
The neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights.
Your brother-in-law is your uncle.
You consider "Outdoor Live" deep reading.
You prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
The diploma hanging in your den contains the words "Trucking Institute."
Your mothr keeps a chaw cup on the ironing board.
You think a tube-top is appropriate attire for a wedding.
You think that Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
You think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.
YOu think that Preparation-H is a miracle drug.
You have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior.
Your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.
You think a Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy.
You think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.
You had to remove a toothpick for your wedding pictures.
You ever used a weedeater indoors.
You have a rag for a gas cap.
You go to your family reunion to meet women.
You have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.
Your richest relative invites you over to his new home to help him remove the wheels and skirt.
You've ever financed a tattoo.
Your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack.
You go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.
Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
Someone asks to see your ID and you show him your belt buckle.
Your Junior/Senior Prom had a day-care.
Your dog and your wallet are both on chains.
You owe the taxidermist more than your annual income.
You have lost at least one tooth opening a beer bottle.
Jack Daniels makes your list of "most admired people."
You won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.
Your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.
You have a very special baseball cap, just for formal occassions.
You ahve to scratch your sister's name out of the message "for a good time cal...."
You bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.
Your dad walks you to schoolb ecause you are both in the same grade.
Your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.
Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
You have started a petition to change the National Anthem to "Georgia On My Mind."
You consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.
You have been fired froma a construction job because of yoru apperance.
You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
You need an estimate from your baber before you get a haircut.
