Daniella (left) was born in Calgary on February 4, 1993. Rachelle (right) was born in Toronto on October 6, 1989. I took this picture in July 1998, during a visit home to Calgary. The girls are in Fish Creek provincial park, just a five minute walk from the front door of my parents' home.
Rachelle and Daniella know that I am transgendered, and they accept it as another dimension of my personality. At first, Mena and I were unsure how to discuss this with the girls. Like everything else about being trans, it felt like we were charting unknown territory. There were certainly no "parent's manuals" to guide us. We consulted with other trans parents, and with the literature published by groups like Tri-Ess. We opted to be cautious, and waited until the girls were "old enough." We had "the talk" with Rachelle when she was eight; and with Daniella after she turned five.
Another photo of Rachelle (left) and Daniella (right), taken at my
parents' home in Calgary, in July 1998. A family friend is in the foreground.
We encourage our daughters to look beyond the narrow confines of traditional gender roles and stereotypes. However, their identities -- like everyone's -- are the product of their own experiences as they enter into the social relations that constitute our culture. We can help give them the confidence and the ability to negotiate their place in the world, but we can't possibly filter out all other influences. Family, friends, school, the workplace, and the media all leave their imprint.
For as long as I can remember, Rachelle has wanted to be a paleontologist and an artist. Daniella wants to be a model and a dancer. We encourage and support these ambitions, not because they represent traditional or non-traditional gender activities, but because these are the things that capture the interest and creativity of our daughters.
This is a picture of Rachelle in 1994, during a lock-out of the
Boilermakers' Union at the big Lafarge plant near Canmore Alberta. I
was covering the struggle for the People's Voice newspaper. Behind
Rachelle is Linda Karpowich, then-president of the Alberta Federation
of Labour (AFL).
However, we live in a capitalist and patriarchical society, where the
ruling class profits from the exploitation of workers and from various
forms of oppression, including those based on gender, race, and sexual
orientation. It is still necessary for the exploited and the oppressed
to struggle for their rights and to realize their dreams for the future.
I believe it is important to teach children to stand up for themselves,
to be responsible, and to struggle when necessary to achieve their
goals. So I discuss politics with my daughters, and encourage them to
find their own way to be involved and active.
From the beginning, we have included Rachelle and Daniella in our
political lives, introducing them to others who
struggle for a better world. Since then, the girls have attended
rallies and marches for Nelson Mandela, indigenous people,
International Women's Day, Pride Day, and they have even walked union
picket lines. I don't know if they will grow up to share my political
views -- heck, even Mena and I don't share the same politics. But the important thing is that we help Rachelle and Daniella to acquire a spirit of
pride in themselves and who they are.
This page was last 
on January 20, 1999
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