The Grumpy old Queer is Pissed off!

by:

One ply toilet tissue rrrrrip! YUK!!

Fat queens in spandex. They look like a friggin' macy's balloon

Fat dykes with stretchmarks in thong bikinis. Get Real!!

Overly zealous, holier-than-thou, ultra-conservative religious people who want to pray for me and ignore themselves!

Farts with lumps! (Now, that's a surprise)

Cars that fart

Retired breeders that drive 50 in a 65 zone especially in the fast lane

Telemarketers (They legally barge into your home unannounced! Get a real job!)and sales people in general

Most Waitresses (Screw you, it's my page!)

The fact that everyone on the internet has a huge dick; even the women. (just ask 'em).

Call waiting (excuse me while I put you on hold, someone better may be on the line)

laxatives (all kinds)

Add to my pissed of by list

here

Things You Don't Want to Hear During Surgery

- Someone call a janitor, we're gonna need a mop!
- Wait a minute...if this is his spleen...then what the hell is that?!
- Hand me that...uhh...that..umm...thingy.
- Better save that, we're gonna need it for the autopsy.
- Oh no! I just lost my Rolex!
- Uh oh...has anyone ever survived 500 ml of this stuff before?
- Rats...there goes the damn lights again...
- Ya know...there's big money in kidneys...and this guy has two of em!
- Every one stand back! I just lost my contact lens!
- Could you stop that thing from beating? It's throwing my concentration
off."
- Whats the fuck is this doing here?!
- I hate it when they're missing stuff in here.
- That's cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?!
- Damn I wish I hadn't forgot my glasses....
- Well folks, this will be a new experience for all of us.
- What do you mean this guy wasn't in here for a sex change?!
- Anyone see where I left the scalpel?
- OK, now take a picture from this angle, this is truly a freak of nature!
- This patient has already had kids...am I correct..?
- Don't worry, I think its sharp enough..
- Shes gonna blow!! Everyone take cover!!
- FIRE! FIRE! Everyone out!!
- Damn! Page 98 of the manual is missing!