No One Ever Loved Me For My Looks
This is always a delicate subject for a woman to talk about, with all the emphasis put on eating disorders and body awareness these days. But here goes;If you are plump you are eating obsessive, if you are thin you are anorexic, if you are thick you are big boned, if you are average you are probably bulimic and hiding it well. There is no such thing as just fine. You either need breast reduction or breast augmentation, tummy tuck or thigh shaping, nose bob or cheek lift, chin extension or butt sculpting. The body styles keep changing. Who  was attractive in the forties would be cows today, what was runway material in the sixties are hospitalized for malnutrition now. Miss America today is ten inches smaller in all her attributes than Miss America thirty years ago. In the Old West and Frontier days the women were veritable dumplings. In the early 1900's there were big boned women with huge hips and busts, but 10 to 12 inch waists. A woman could get dizzy or go broke trying to satisfy such fickle fashions.

I have always been short. I started high school at 4' 10", but quickly acquired a 6' 5" boyfriend; which somehow compensated for my diminutive stature. I have what I would estimate as a medium boned body build, with a rather large rib cage that makes for a long torso. When I should have been in a nice size 10 I had to get a size 11 because my torso was too long.

You measure the length of your waist by putting one finger on the very bottom of the bottom rib and another on the very top of the corresponding hipbone. There is hardly any space between these two bones on me, maybe one and a half or two inches, tops. So I am short-waisted as well. This always made me look straight up and down until I developed enough breadth in breasts and hips to compensate.

In my picture at seventeen I was 5' 2" tall, weighed 120 lbs. with my statistics being 36/28/36. I fit nicely into my miniskirts and maxicoat and I didn't have trouble buying 36B bras at any Owl Tree.

Then I got married and nature got some help from an energetic sex life and lots of hitch hiking (accent on hiking), which developed muscles I didn't even know I had and I grew an inch taller, (which isn't normal for females), fifteen pounds heavier, my statistics blossomed into 38/30/38 and I was now looking for C cups.

My weight fluctuated up and down, up then down, down then up for several years until when I was 25 I was still 5' 3", but my weight temporarily settled 127lbs. with statistics of 40/30/38 and Owl Tree doesn't really carry many D cups so I had to start shopping elsewhere.

Well alls well that ends well if that was it and there was no more tales to be told about my physique. But I am afraid that wasn't the end of the story. Due to medical conditions, several rather involved life experiences, tramatic legalities, a few miscarriages, horrendous relationships, "red-flagged" pre-eclampsian hospitalization, which caused extreme high blood pressure and rapid weight gain, not the least of which were three ceasarian-sections and convalescent periods, a couple depressions and a metabolism that transformed from a hare to a tortoise early due to hypoglycemia my shape took a turn for the cursed.

My height is still 5' 3" of course, but my weight could be a hotel room number on the second floor, my statistics seem like cannon calibers and I have finally gotten my cup size DOWN to triple D. I have always had an hour glass figure, but now it may be in 24 hour increments. Thank godz I am losing now!

Maybe it is the peasant stock or my early life raised on a ranch, but I am still capable of bending over and not only touching my toes, but touching the floor as well and if I relax putting my hand eventually flat palmed on the floor. It could just be because I am short.

I tell people that no one has ever loved me for my looks, and that has always been true. The first time I said it I was sixteen. If they couldn't love me for who I was it really didn't matter what I looked like.

Since I have never been very photogenic I chose the best picture I have every taken. I was seventeen. It is fitting because I am still the same person, no different than I was that day. All that I was then has only been intensified by experience. All the creativity and passion from the beginning honed to expertise and confidence.  I am no longer seventeen and life has left its touch on me, but if you look into the eyes and step through, like Alice you will find a wonderland.   
             



  

"Ah yes, when I was seventeen it was a very good year."
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