Drummer
"There comes a time, in every drummer's career, when he must pursue excellence. However, excellence can prove to be illusive." - Greg Keck and Steve Perrucci.......though neither of us knows what that quote means.
Things got a little out of hand, and the interview ended with a restraining order. However, being the forgiving, God-like hero that he is, Greg has agreed to give me another chance to get to know the man behind the drums.
Interviewer: Hello
Greg: Um......hi.
I. You seem nervous.
G. Yeah, well, it's just that last time we met, things became a little uncomfortable.....and when I say "uncomfortable," I mean psychotic.
I. Whatever do you mean?
G. Well, you asked me to marry you, told me you were in love with me, and explained to me how you kept pieces of my hair in a jar in your basement. Then you started stalking me. I'd find you ouside lurking in the bushes or hiding in my freezer. And then, it started to seem as if every girl I hung out with would end up missing or dead.
I. Ha ha!! Oh yes!! But it was all in good fun! Now, on with the interview.
G. Ok, sorry to bring up the past like that, it was uncalled for.
I. It's ok, sorry I killed your friends. Now then, what do you think of the name "Waitless?" Do you ever think that the band should be called "Amazing Greg and Those Other Guys?"
G. .........I do now.
I. What is your relationship with Kyle like?
G. Kyle and I go way back. I owe a lot to that guy. In a way, he took me in and gave me a chance to be a part of a great band when I had nothing. We work really well together. And why shouldn't we? We've been in a band together now for almost five years.
I. No, no.....I meant, is your relationship with Kyle platonic?
G. Um, ....yes.
I. Oh, perfect. It'd be a shame to have to kill him now.
G. What was that?
I. Nothing. Continuing on...what was your favorite Waitless gig to date?
G. That would have to be the high school show we played a few months ago. It was neat going back to our old stomping grounds. During the last chorus of "You Don't Own Me," we had a full audience participation. They were all singing along. It was a great feeling. Ha! Also, there were all these high school girls hanging around and hitting on us. It was a little flattering in a way.
I. I'll bet......I'll need those girl's names and addresses before you leave.
G. Speaking of which, I should get going. I'm meeting someone for dinner soon.
I. A.....female?
G. Just.....just a friend.....
I. I'm afraid I cannot allow you to go.
G. Whoa, WHOA!! Sit down, you have that look in your eyes again! Don't do anything crazy.....Hey!! What are you.......? Help!! Stop......noooooo....
(end transmition)
Wanted: New drummer for local band, "Waitless"
Must enjoy playing alternative rock.
Good benefits and dental plan.
Reason for old drummer's departure: M.I.A......presumed dead.
