NinerBoys

You've heard the buzz on that hot new boy band "The Niner Boys" haven't you? Of course you have!! They're the latest thing since Harry Potter! Well, if things keep going well for them (and why wouldn't they? they're a boy band, and boy bands last forever!) well then I think I have their next move all planned out for them.

Question: What does the hottest boy band do after they've sold millions of albums, gone quadruple platinum, are booked on 33 world tours, have their own books, board games, comic books, magazines, lunch boxes, cartoon show, and their own line of shaving products???

Answer: Do a sitcom for Fox.

Here is a brief summary of the premise I'm going to try to sell to Fox:

Name: "Nothing Could Be Niner"
Concept: That loveable band, the Niner Boys, all decided to move in together in a two bedroom apartment. Wackiness ensues.

Cast:
Jeremy Jurin as "Jeb" - the cute, sensitive leader
Greg Keck as "Josh" - the all-American heart throb
Eric Schwan as "Chip" - the shy, religious one
Kyle Strawser as "Cory" - the sex-a-holic
Carl Zenobi as "Luke" - the tough guy

Special appearances by Mac Gosnell as "Mac the wacky neighbor!"

Pilot Episode: After becoming the most succesful band in America and Cuba, the Niner Boys hit a writing slump. Fearing the worst, they choose the only possible course of action they can think of....move in together and start writing hit songs again. And despite the fact that they are all extremely rich, they somehow can only afford a two bedroom apartment in the ghetto.....

Episode 2: The boys meet their new neighbor for the first time. Mac. Mac is always up to something. His zany shinanigans and hair-brained schemes are always leading him on a collision course with wackiness and hilarity! His catch phrase is "Well DEAR LORD!!" to which the audience laughs, applauses, and cheers for more. In this episode, Mac decides to exploit the Niner Boys by selling tickets to teenage girls. Once they have paid Mac, he sneeks them upstairs and barges in on the Boys in hopes that he can introduce the band to his paying customers. The boys soon realize Mac's plan, and give him a stern, but loving, talking-to (with much tender piano playing in the background). Mac appologizes, then cries. The show ends on a high note, however, when Carl trips over a foot rest and falls down. He stands up, looks at the camera and says, "My bad!"
Oh those crazy Niner Boys........

Episode 3: The boys learn the true meaning of Christmas. Details can be worked out later.

Episode 4: Coincidentally, five really hot, single college girls move in across the hall from the boys. Josh (Greg) is the first to find out about this blessing. Being uncharacteristically sneeky, he does not tell the rest of the band about the girls. Instead, he goes over and asks each of them out on dates seperately. However, things get sticky when he unwitingly makes all five dates on the same night, at the same restarant. Instead of canceling any of the dates, he proceeds as planned. At dinner, Josh begins eating with hot girl #1, but then says he has to use the phone. He then proceeds to go over to hot girl #2's table and eats a quick bite with her. "Excuse me while I use the restroom," he explains to her as he walks over to hot girl #3. This pattern continues for a while until the pace is picked up more and more, eventually turning into a crazy, slapstick situation, with Josh running back and forth to five different tables and dating five different girls at once. Finally, his caper is foiled when all five girls get up and meet each other in the middle of the establishment. Josh, knowing he is busted, looks at the camera and says, "Can't blame a guy for trying!" Oh Josh, will you ever learn? The viewers hope not!

Episode 5: Sexual tension runs high when the Niner Boys and the hot college girls are somehow trapped together in a cabin in the mountains. A freak blizzard prevents them from leaving their wooden prison, much to the delight of the boys. Also, just for comic effect, Mac shows up somehow.

Episode 6: A tearful goodby is said to Cory (Kyle) when one of the hot girls next door moves out and he is asked to take her place. The rest of the boys are very saddened by the departure of their friend, but they know that, deep down, Cory will be "gettin' some" on a daily basis, so it's ok. However, after a couple of weeks of "gettin' it on," Cory is exhausted and quite relieved when the fifth girl returns home and Cory must move back in with his band. Also,he should get V.D. or something.

Episode 7: The boys learn the true meaning of Easter.

Episode 8: When a baby is left on the Niner Boy's door step, it's "My Five Dads." Hilarity is in the cards as the boys take on such tasks as changing diapers, telling bedtime stories, and breast feeding. At first, the baby is thought of as a pest, but soon, the boys grow to love the little tike (especially when it's discovered that babies are total "chick-magnets") When the real mom shows up to take the baby back, the boys refuse. A big court trial ends the show.

Episode 9: Thanks to another one of Mac's plans, the boys find themselves with a very unusual roomate. Mac decides that the key to musical success and coming out of their writing slump is to perform duets with other famous musicians. So he convinces rapper Eminem to move in. The wholesome Niner Boys and Slim Shady instantly clash, mostly because of their vile hatred for each other. The boys just can't understand why Eminem has so much hate for the world. They sit down with him and have a long talk about letting out the frustration and anger. A breakthrough occurs when Eminem tells them how he never felt loved as a child and begins to cry. The boys kick him out when he stops paying his share of the rent.

Episode 10: The boys learn the true meaning of President's Day.

Episode 11: Chip (Eric) takes a vow of silence due to religious reasons. This upsets the other members of the band because it means that the world will no longer be able to hear his rich, creamy, chocolaty singing voice. After much conflict, Chip decides to forget about religion and concentrate on making money and scoring with chicks.

Episode 12: Uh-oh!! Someone broke the valuable vase!! The problem is, no one knows just exactly who's fault it is. Mac steps in as a neutral third party and tries to determine just what happened. Each of the boys has a different point of view and story about what happened. In the end, we find out that it was just the wind. Silly Niner Boys.

Episode 13: A very touching "after-school" special. Luke (Carl) is asked by some of his other music friends (Rivers Cuomo, Joe Strummer, and Elton John) to try pot. Luke, being the masculine "Boy" gives in to peer pressure and gets stoned off his ass. When the rest of the band finds out about this, they laugh at first (cause people who are high are also very funny and popular) but then begin to become concerned. They advice him to not hang out with that crowd anymore. It works for a while, until Luke's drug problems get out of hand and he resorts to horse tranquilizers. A drug intervention is planned, but it turns into a private concert, with the boys playing for a very private venue. Luke overdoses half way through the set, and the tabloids have a field day. However, the whole problem is solved well within the thirty minutes, so don't worry.

Episode 14: Season Finale. Good news!! The Niner Boy's latest album, "Sunday Brunch at the Niner," is a huge hit. Now that they are back on top, the boys will be leaving the apartment for good. They all sit around the coffee table with Mac and the girls next door, reliving the events of the past year. It turns into one of those cheesy clip shows, that shows highlights of the greatest moments from the past season. At the end, everyone is sad that they are moving out, even old man Peterson, who always banged on the ceiling and told them to "Knock off that racket, you hooligans!!" The Niner Boys turn to their leader, Jeb, and ask him if they really have to go. With a smile, he says, "Well, I guess we can hang around for one more season." Three cheers for the Niner Boys!!!

So I think this will be a huge hit, especially with people who have Down syndrome.