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I am about to make up a COMPLETELY fictional story about two imaginary characters in a make believe situation in a place that doesn't exist with occurrences that never actually happened.
In this hypothetical story, two people, character A (who bears no resemblance in any way, shape or form AT ALL to myself), and character B (who is in no way anything at all like my roommate), had a Super-Duper-State-of-the-Art-Illegal-Fire-Hazardous-Popcorn-Popping-Machine-of-Doom (something which doesn�t really exist and which I have never seen the likes of).
So, A and B were hypothetically studying in their hypothetical dorm room one night when they decided that it was time for a study break. So they both stopped chatting online (i.e. 'studying'), looked at each other and said "Popcorn?" One was on the way to the microwave when the other (it doesn't really matter which was which since neither of these characters REALLY exist, anyway) said, "Wait, don't we have a popcorn-making machine?"
"Yea, I do," said A. The two non-existent college students proceeded to take out the fictional popcorn making machine from A's closet (even though A doesn't really keep her popcorn making machine in her closet because she doesn't really have a closet because she doesn't really exist, and even if she DID exist and DID have a closet, she wouldn't have a Super-Duper-State-of-the-Art-Illegal-Fire-Hazardous-Popcorn-Popping-Machine-of-Doom in it anyway).
B took out her hypothetical un-popped popcorn kernels (which she doesn't really have because blah blah blah) and knelt on the floor beside A. "It's...skeezy!" Said B, "Why is it so dirty? And did it come with an instruction manual?"
"No, it didn't come with an instruction manual," said A, "and of course it's dirty, it came out of my aunt's.....oh what's the word?! P......P...Pastry! No, that's not it, I mean pantry! You'd be dirty too, if you came out of my aunt's pantry. " She tilted her head to the side reflectively for a moment, "or her pastry, for that matter." (I'd like to take a moment here to interject and say that, of course A doesn't really have an aunt, because she doesn't really exist).
"Well, then how do you work it?" B would have said then, had she chosen that moment to begin existing.
"Plug it in and see what happens," responded A. "Oh, and my aunt said that we should put a big bowl under it because the popcorn flies everywhere." (Now imagine that: Popcorn that doesn't really exist flying around a dorm room that isn't really there at two girls who were never more than imaginary, all because of a Super-Duper-State-of-the-Art-Illegal-Fire-Hazardous-Popcorn-Popping-Machine-of-Doom).
Upon the commencement of the initial plugging in of the Supuer-Duper-State-of-the-Art-Illigel-Fire-Hazardous-Popcorn-Popping-Machine-of-Doom, a smell much akin to roadkill-skunk stuck to a burnt-rubber tire in the middle of a Manhattan sewer filled the room. So B took it upon herself to hold a bowl under said device with one hand and a small fan (which she couldn't possibly really own, seeing how she never really WAS to begin with) OVER the device. A took this opportunity to give the smoke detector in her fairyland dormroom the evil eye and prevent it (with her non-existent telekinetic powers) from beeping, screeching, wailing, or doing anything else that make-believe smoke detectors do when confronted with Super-Duper-Fire-Hazards like the one that never really happened here.
"I'll just pour a LITTLE bit of kernels in at first," said B, "as an experiment." (NOTE: These are famous last words, much like the ones you hear in every clich� Horror Story, [bad pun], Channel 11 sitcom, and awful suspense novel. Remember them well).
It was at about this point that the fictional world our heroines inhabited spun around thrice and became a bad re-run of Full House. Remember that god-awful episode where Youngest Troll and Middle Troll were in the bathroom for something together (who knows for what) and decided to rip the sink pipes from the wall? When water started gushing everywhere and the Tanner Trolls started yelling "Another bucket! Another bucket!"?
Well, in our make-believe world, once upon a dormroom, the word 'water' was replaced by the word 'popcorn', and the word 'bucket' was replaced by the world 'bowl'. And here, my friends and enemies alike, while our heroines dig and eat their way out of their imaginary popcorn blizzard, at great risk of severe skin-mutation due to superfluous amounts of butter and salt, I depart thee.
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