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As a service to the freshman students of William Paterson University, we present herein advice. We hope that these ideas will prevent you from making the same mistakes we did. Then again, why should we ruin your fun?
1. Read your student handbook.
(Learn the rules so you can break them properly.)
2. Keep your keys and ID with you at all times.
(In case you forget who you are.)
3. Get financial aid figured out. Quickly.
(Learn how to jump through hoops now, you'll be doing it for years.)
4. Go to class.
(Contrary to popular belief, this is what you are here for.)
5. Do your homework.
(Come on, there's nothing better to do.)
6. Visit the tutors.
(They get lonely in those little tutoring hovels. Visit.)
7. Learn your way around the library.
(Even though it's set up weird and there's no good fiction.)
8. Learn the shuttle schedule.
(Then forget it. It never runs on time.
9. Learn the local bus schedules.
(Get off campus before the buildings start talking to you. They get grumpy. It's frightening.)
10. Learn the take-out numbers.
(Wayne Hall isn't as bad as they say- no, wait, it is. Anyway, variety is good.)
11. Sleep.
(At least once in awhile, you actually do need to do this.)
12. If you commute, plan extra time for parking.
(Bring periscopes and radar to seek out a spot.)
13. Learn where buildings are.
(Yes, to go to class, you need to be able to find them.)
14. Plan for spontaneity.
(Nothing ever goes the way you want it to.)
15. When scheduling for next semester, don't assume that what you sign up for is what you'll get.
(It won't be. Trust me.)
16. Never look at a computer screen through a Slinky.
(I don�t know, but it�s good advice anyway, so if you were planning on looking at your computer through a Slinky , don�t.)
We hope that these helpful steps are actually helpful. If they�re not, well, that�s obviously not our problem. We�re not freshmen.