The Unknown
by Patricia Henry
Chapter Fourteen
�Slim! Slim!� The scream filled the cabin, so loud the sound appeared to bounce off the walls.
Gwen ran into the room.
�Slim!�
She shook him, gently at first, then harder. �Jess! Wake up! Jess, wake up!�
His eye fluttered open, with several quick blinks. �What-�
�You were calling out for Slim again.�
�I was?�
�I could get in touch with him if you tell me-�
�No!� Jess wiped his hand across his sweaty face. It had been a nightmare but he couldn�t remember what he had been dreaming. He felt the dream had been important, something he had lived, some clue to who he was. But for the life of him as soon as he woke, he couldn�t remember even one detail of the dream. Only that something had startled him, making him wish he had his gun belt. His gun belt! He remembered a gun. He could see it. He had taken good care of it. His hand opened and closed as he thought about how important that gun had been to him. Where was it now? Had he left it behind at the stage? In his haste to leave, he had not taken time to look for any possessions. He had not even thought to grab a gun. He had only run, like a scared rabbit.
She poured water onto a cloth and began bathing Jess� face. �You�re sweating something fierce. I hope the fever ain�t returned.�
The water felt refreshing. He felt himself start to relax.
�You�ve been dreaming. Must have been some dream. The way you were calling out for Slim.�
It took him a moment to realize what she was saying. She looked pretty in her nightgown, her hair streaming down her back.
�You drink this.� She offered him some water. �It�ll help cool you.�
He took it as if he was a child obeying his mother.
She continued to bathe his face.
He sighed for the cool water felt good.
�Now who is Slim? He has to be someone important in your life. Is he wanted too?�
Should he lie to her? Could he trust her? �I don�t know,� Jess admitted.
�You can tell me.�
�I really don�t know.�
�Jess...�
�I don�t know �cause I can�t remember. You understand what I�m saying? I can�t remember! I can�t remember anything. Even my own name.�
The news was so startling that she froze. �You told me...�
�I seen the poster too. It had my face on it. I didn�t even know it was my face until I seen my reflection.�
�How awful,� she sympathized.
�I don�t know the kind of man I am. But you got my word that for helping me, no harm will come to you or the boy. As soon as I can ride out of here, I�m gone. And if you could help me get to the barn, I�m thinking I could ride out tonight.�
Her face formed a mask of puzzlement. �Why? You�re safe.�
Her answer caused confusion to mar his face. �But I don�t know who�s following me or-�
�Jess, you�re in no shape to travel. You need time to heal. I know the bullet wounds were only flesh wounds. But you got hit awful hard on the head.�
He leaned back in the pillows. �You know what�s it like not to remember? Not to know you�re own name?�
�I can only imagine.� Her face showed her sympathy.
His stare was piercing as he asked, �You ain�t told me why.�
Her head tilted with curiousity. �Why what?�
�Knowing I�m a wanted man that you ain�t gone to the sheriff.�
Her eyes dropped. �Did Ronnie mention his father?�
Jess watched her closely. He had questioned the boy several times but had received not much information. �Said he was gone. Wasn�t sure when he�d get back. But to a kid, an hour can seem a long time.�
She smiled but at the same time tears sparkled in her eyes. �He�s been gone for over two months. He was suppose to return within a week. I don�t think he�s coming back.�
Jess saw the hurt. �Why would he leave a woman like you?�
�I�ve asked myself that same question. I�ve blamed myself; I�ve blamed him; I...I blame the sheriff.�
�The sheriff?�
�My husband disappeared. Ronnie and I went out in the buckboard, trying to follow the same route but we didn�t find anything.�
�You tell the sheriff?�
�He said he looked.�
�You sound like you don�t like the sheriff.�
�I wouldn�t think a wanted man would like him either,� she fired back.
He shrugged.
�Jess, I�m sorry. Sometimes my temper-�
�You got a right. You got a heavy load here. Raising a boy. Making a living out of this land. It�s not very good soil to farm or raise cattle, Gwen.� How did he know that? Was he a farmer? A rancher?
�I know,� she agreed. �It was chosen because my husband thought there was gold here. There was none, of course. Only a foolish dream. My husband..well...he was a little bit of everything and nothing much of anything,� she said, not hiding her bitterness.
�Oh,� Jess could fill in what she hadn�t said.
�I know what you�re thinking. But I did love him once. But this land. It�s no place for a man and woman to stay married. The land causes nothing but hardship. It pulls a man and a woman apart.�
She wiped the perspiration off Jess� face. �I think the fever is breaking.�
Jess� hand snaked out and caught her wrist. �I want to know. Why do you blame the Sheriff?�
Her eyes dropped to his iron clasp hold. He let go of her. �I want to know,� he said gently.
She replied in a whisper, the words spoken as if hard to say, �Carter Springs use to be a mining town. But that was a long time ago. Most people don�t have much money in these parts. The Sheriff always has money.�
�Don�t the town pay him?�
She nodded.
�But you�re thinking something different?�
�My husband was a miner. He was always so sure that the mine wasn�t played out. That there was a new vein just waiting to be found. He took my jewelry including my wedding ring to trade for groceries. My necklaces weren�t much. But my wedding ring had a real stone. It had belonged to my mother in law. I don�t know what happen. But my husband never made it into town. And I do know that after my husband disappeared that the Sheriff suddenly had enough money to buy things such as a horse and shirts and-things we don�t have money to pay for.� Her eyes moistened. �I�m so scared that the sheriff killed my-� Her body began to shake.
�You don�t know...�
�A woman knows when her man is dead. Jess, a woman does know. It�s a feeling she gets. A powerful feeling. I know. I just know.�
Jess pulled her into his arms and she allowed him. �Easy now,� he cooed. �You don�t know for sure. He could be laid up like me. Hurt somewhere.�
She nestled in his arms. �You know how long it�s been since a man has held me?�
Jess said nothing. He stroked her hair.
�We�re a quite a pair aren�t we?� she said. �Both of us not knowing. It�s the unknown that�s so scary. What we know we can face. But not knowing. Just wondering. Each of us fearing what might be the truth.�
Jess still said nothing, but his grip tightened on her shoulders. Bringing her even closer to him.
She stayed there in his arms for a long time. He said nothing, only petted her hair. For several minutes she cried and he allowed her to. Then he wiped each tear off her face gently with his thumb. �You can�t give up hope,� he mumbled.
�I gave that up weeks ago. You think I was scared when I saw you? I was thankful. Finally someone here besides myself and Ronnie. You know how many things on a farm that it takes a man�s strength to do? How many I tried to do but couldn�t? And each day, the loneliness would set in. Each day I�d feel like I was going die here, either from being lonely or starving, I just wasn�t sure which.� She glanced up at him, her eyes begging for understand.
Without hesitation, he kissed her. His hand touched her face, as his lips pressed against hers.
She had thought what if...she had wondered what it would feel like to kiss another man...to kiss Jess Harper. She had grown up decent and proper. But now, in the darkened room, alone with him, she responded. She reached up and touched his hand, her lips clinging to his. She had missed her husband so much...she had missed his affection until she was starved for any affection...And now without any hesitation she took what Jess offered.
The kiss had been long and had satisfied both. In that minute she decided if she wanted more. It had been a battle, waged within herself. But her decency at last won over her desire. Not yet. Maybe soon...but not yet. She stood. �It�ll be dawn shortly.� She started for the door.
�Gwen?�
She turned.
�Did I say anything else? When I was calling out.�
She smiled. �No. But whoever Slim is, it sounded like he was the one you turned to when you needed help.�
�I sure wish I could remember.�
�I �spect it�ll come back to you. You may even have a wife.�
�I ain�t wearing a wedding ring.�
�Neither am I. But I�m married.� Then she was gone.
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