Report by Tsu Nam
KUALA LUMPUR, Jul 10 (Seachange Malaysia) – The appointment of Bobo, the orang-utan as Malaysia’s new Chief Justice has met with widespread approval and praise from various organisations and individuals around the country.
Prime Minister Datuk Seri Dr. Mahathir, who had recommended the appointment to the King, described it as a quantum leap for justice in Malaysia. He said, “Not since I engineered the sacking of Tun Salleh Abas as Lord President in 1988 has there been a more significant improvement in the judiciary.” He added that the Executive will work with Bobo and the four other simian judges in enforcing the law of the jungle, which has become more urgent because of opposition inroads.
MCA President, Datuk Seri Ling Liong Sik, today praised the selection of Bobo as an important mark of goodwill towards minorities in the country. According to him, “Since Datuk Seri Dr. Mahathir has declared that a non-Malay can become Prime Minister, why can’t a non-human become Chief Justice?”
He also hoped that the lawsuit now pending against him and his son for breach of contract can now be speedily dismissed. “After all, it is a universally recognised law of the jungle that you eat or be eaten. Hence, what is wrong with my son and I defrauding Soh Chee Wen of RM$150 million?”
Likewise ex-IGP Rahim Noor also hoped that Bobo would rescind his two-month jail term for assaulting Anwar Ibrahim in prison. He explained, “After all, big animals are always assaulting small, defenceless animals in the wild, so what is wrong with my bashing Anwar nearly to death when he was in my power? If Bobo had been CJ during that time, this wouldn’t even have come to court.”
Also welcoming the new appointment, Rahim Thamby Chik hoped that the Malaysian courts would now be more lenient with regard to cases involving sex with underaged girls. “After all, it is a known fact that monkeys have sex at a much earlier age than humans, in fact, they have it all the time,” he said, “so what was wrong with my having sex with a minor?”
MIC President, Datuk Samy Vellu, declared that all Malaysians of Indian origin should rejoice at the new Chief Justice since it was proof that those who have little prior understanding of the law, like the vast majority of plantation workers, can go far with the right level of application.
Prominent lawyer, V.K. Lingam, expressed hope that he and the new Chief Justice will soon become good friends. “Maybe our families can go on a safari or a jungle trek together,” he added. “I’m sure we can take some very nice pictures together.”
Malaysian newspapers have also greeted the new Chief Justice with unusual enthusiasm. V.K. Chin, in his editorial in The Star wrote: “The sun has risen on a new era in the Malaysian judiciary. No one in the world can now accuse us of not practising natural justice. What can be no natural than to have a member of the animal kingdom holding up our scales of justice? ”
However, opposition leaders have slammed the appointment. Said DAP Chairman, Lim Kit Siang, “The judiciary has now sunk to its lowest point ever with this most stupid, ignominious and disgraceful choice of a Chief Justice. If justice has to be raped in this country, it should at least be by a human being, not by an animal.”
However, Bobo has reportedly issued a summon for Lim to be arrested for contempt of court. He is expected to be tried next week. According to sources within the DAP, Lim has been desperately trying to find a lawyer who knows ape language. He has been advised to look up the Pahang Mentri Besar who has, at times, been known to act like a baboon.