A  Look At...
being Better |
Why Being Female is Better
by young girl on the net who i don't have the addy for |
I can do my own laundry... |
...and if I get a red sock mixed in with my whites then
i can wear pink |
I know about tank tops |
I can cry my eyes out in public if I want to |
The damsel - in - distress routine can get me practically
ANYTHING |
I'm not expected to open my own doors |
I can check out other guys discreetly and my boyfriend will
never guess |
I can cook my own food |
If I get bored with my hair color I can change it |
I don't have ego problems asking for directions so I can
get to
where I'm going faster AND it makes me look smart when the
guy has
to ask me for help |
I can be a Dallas Cowboys fan without embarassment |
New purse and new shoes in every color, all new this season |
Bad mood? It was PMS |
Diamonds are a girl's best friend |
If I get mad at a guy all my friends get mad at him too
and
if I go for revenge he won't even know what hit him! |
I can hicup prettily |
I'm not color blind |
If i want to know more about my guy my friends will help |
I can get a guy to pick up stuff for me or go and get something
for me just by asking |
I can handle the sight of blood better than a guy because
i see more than the average
guy and i can pretend to be grossed out by
it and watch the male ego inflate |
I can write legibly |
...and i know how to spell |
On a date, I'm not expected to pay |
If I get cold all I have to do is ask a guy for HIS coat |
If I drop something somone will pick it up for me |
If I lose a suitcase while on vacation I still have two
more |
I don't need to open any jars |
I don't get stuck with the same last name all of my life |
I don't spontaneously hit my friends |
"Ladies first." |
I have nice frilly underwear |
If I'm over 21 and single then I'm an old maid or gay |
Enough make-up will cover any amount of aging |
Ladies night = free drinks |
I'm on a diet so I stay slim |
I get $25 manicures |
Girls just want to have fun |
I can wear a bra |
My freinds and I stick together |
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Why Being Male is Better 
by unknown |
My phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat |
I don't have red socks to worry about. I don't have whites
either |
I know about tanks |
I don't have to |
I can get anything anyway |
I open my own doors |
I don't have to be discreet |
I can kill my own food |
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades |
I never get lost, I just pretend I was trying out a shortcut |
I can be a Dalas Cowboys cheerleaders fan without reservation |
One wallet, one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons |
Bad mood? Testosterone |
Man's best friend is a dog |
If I get mad then I get even |
At least a few belches are expected and tolerated |
My socks don't have to match exactly, besides they are all
black |
Even her friends strike up conversations with me |
I can pick up anything she asks me to pick up, even things
she doesn't want me to pick up |
I can kill my own food |
I don't have to |
I have a spell checker |
I decide where we will go |
Cold doesn't bother me |
It is easy to do |
A five day vacation only requires one suitcase for me |
I can open my own jars |
I don't have to learn how to spell a new last name |
Me and the guys like to clown around |
"Its a man's world" |
My underwear costs $10 for a three pack |
If I get to be 34 and I'm single, no one notices |
Grey hair and wrinkles only add charactor |
Wedding dress $2000, rented tuxedo $75 |
I don't have to mooch desserts |
I can do my nails with a pocket knife |
If another guy shows up at a party in the same outfit as
mine we might become life long freinds |
I don't have strap problems in public |
I can go to the bathroom without a suport group |
... |
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Why Being a SLAVE is Best
by me |
i can do my laundry in 30 seconds flat - what phone? |
...and if i get a red sock mixed in with the whites then
i can wear a pink bottom |
i know about tops |
i can cry whenever i want to cry |
The damsel - in - distress routine DOES get me ANYTHING |
i'm not allowed to open doors either |
i can check out other guys discreetly and my Master will
never have to worry about me straying |
i can cook too |
i don't have to worry about how to wear my hair,
Master tells me how he wants it - and what color |
i never get lost because i never lead |
i can be a cheerleader |
One leash, one pair of handcuffs, one collar, all reasons |
Bad Mood? (PMS) Please my Master Soon (or else) |
Slave loves Master |
If i get mad i keep it to myself or he can get even |
i can turn him on when i hicup |
i can be blindfolded |
If i want to know more about my Master then he will tell
me |
i can pick up anything he wants - quickly |
i do not have to pretend to be grossed out at the sight
of blood |
i had better |
i am a spell checker |
i will go where he wants |
Cold always bothers me, i want his warmth always |
If i drop something i don't want him to even know |
As long as the lost luggage isn't me then i guess its alright |
i am never asked to do anything that i can't do |
i am named as Master sees fit |
i never hit my Master |
"i hear and obey" |
Sometimes i am allowed underwear |
When i am 34 and alone i am just as alone as when i was
20 and alone |
...on a guy |
i have no money |
i don't mooch |
i do Master's nails |
Slaves are fun |
my straps never slip - even when i try to make them slip |
i stick to my Master |
? |
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Why Being a MASTER is Best
by Master Chris |
I can do her in 30 seconds - on the phone |
Absolutely |
What I know IS tops, tanks - I mean, thanks |
I try to be sure they are tears of joy |
Yes, it does make me want to do any thing, any way |
I always open doors for her - sometimes she's too tied up
to do it for herself |
she can do that, it only makes her glad to be mine |
I can kill the cook - with tickles |
Its not her hair, its mine - all of her is mine |
I thought it was a good shortcut, senic anyway... |
I can be a fan of anything that I want, especially her |
Many ropes, many chains, many gags and blindfolds, any reason |
Bad Mood? (PMS) Please your Master Soon (or else) |
Master loves slave |
If i get mad its my own fault |
What can I say? She can |
All her blindfolds match |
If I want to know more about my slave she will tell me what
ever I want to know |
I can pick her up - just by asking |
Neither of us need see blood, it is gross |
She'd better be able to read what I write |
I don't have to |
I will gladly go where she thinks i want to go |
She is what makes me warm |
It is an easy thing to do, drop things |
I need one suitcase just for her chains |
Can you help me get the lid off of this jar? |
She will have a short name if she is bad, that's why she
is usually called "shevette" |
I never hit my slave, my property |
"You are a delight - I will keep you" |
Sometimes not |
If I was 34 and alone then I have waisted my time |
Let us grow grey and wrinkled together |
Money is no object |
I am on a diet so I look good for her too, and I can eat
her dessert when ever I want to |
I can nail her |
Slaves are fun |
She can really wear a corsette well |
Can you help me get the lid off of this jar? |
! |
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Some friends wrote in the responses for YOUNG and
OLD so i just had to add them! |
Why being young is better  by a friend of a friend |
I can talk on the phone as long as it takes to do the laundry |
Most things these days are colorfast |
I look good in tank tops |
It's still ok to cry |
The young ingénue bit can get you anything |
I open my own |
I can still check out other guys |
I can try new foods |
I still have hair |
Asking for directions lets you flirt with some cute guys |
You can root for whoever's hot |
We're more open |
Bad mood; I'm alienated |
Internet stocks are hot |
If I get mad my friends and I can get revenge on youthful impulse |
I can hiccup, and its still cute |
We're more color blind |
Everything is new every year |
I can ask for help |
We don't want do see blood |
I can read what I write |
That's what the spell checkers are for |
We go wherever we want |
Its 80 degrees in this house |
If anything gets dropped in this house I better pick it up |
If I lose a suitcase I get more of the latest fashions |
I'm not expected to open jars |
I can choose to keep my name |
We don't hit people |
"Women and Children First!" |
We have nice underwear |
Its OK to be single into your 30's now |
There are newer and different ways to hide aging |
There are a million places someone will take you to |
I eat healthy so I won't have a heart attack |
I can get my nails detailed |
I can still have fun |
We can wear whatever we want |
You never know what you need to borrow |
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Why being Old is best  by Sir Irvy |
If the phone rings while I'm busy they'll call back if its important |
I did was a pair of red socks in with my khakis once, thats how my wife got a set of pink khakis |
I built tanks |
I learned it always was |
Old age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill |
I get 10% Senior Citizens Discount |
I can look at other girls and say, been there, done that |
I know what I like |
Bald is very low maintenance |
I can read a map |
You can hate whoever's hot |
I don't have to wear it |
Bad mood? I'm a cranky old man |
I'm spending their inheritance |
When I get mad, I exact my revenge through cold, hard calculation |
I can perform at least 3 bodily functions at the same time |
We're more old school |
We don't pry |
I'd rather do it myself |
We've seen, drawn, given, and shed our share |
Other people can read what we've written |
That's why they made dictionaries |
I stay inside |
Its my house |
If I drop anything it can stay there until I need it or I decide its in my way |
On permanent Vacation |
Has anyone considered dynamite? |
I've had the same one for 63 years |
I don't do anything spontaneously, except piss |
"Cold Beer! And Plenty of it!" |
Do I care? |
If you live to be my age, there will be times where you will cry aloud, "I am so alone."
There will be times where you will wish you could just be left alone. Remember all things pass |
These are my battle scars, badges of honor hard fought for,
and earned. They bear witness to all, not just of what I am, but to
what which all of you may yet become . I would not hide them, if I could |
Senior Citizens: 10% Discount! |
I've survived 5 of them |
I can buy my nails wholesale |
I remember real fun |
My clothes are sensible |
Has anyone considered dynamite? |
@#$% |
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