me!

Chapter 50

Jet and I spent the remainder of the night discussing subjects like walking, running, jumping (Jet loved jumping), and all the other things we humans can do and take for granted. We can't be blamed though.

I want to talk for just a minute about something that I explained to Jet.

We have a conscious mind. That's what we are aware of things with and we do some thinking there. This is what we consider to be 'me'. Underneath and unseen or unfelt is our subconscious, our 'id'. There is more but because of ther very nature we are unaware of them. I don't want to talk about the different levels of the mind or how we all have multiple personalities or how we are each like the 'all' and have the 'all' living inside us. That would get too complicated to do here.

I want to talk about another part of our brain that I don't think is a part of our brain at all. I don't mean our 'alter ego'. I'm talking about the brain our body has. I call it the 'body brain'.

The body brain is what learns to walk from our conscious mind then takes over the chore. We can touch our finger to the tip of our nose without trying because the body brain has learned how to do that for us. Don't believe me? Ok, what would be the thoughts necessary to touch someone else's nose?

You have to line up on it...move arm...extend finger..look out for ther eyes...watch where finger is...watch where nose is...bring finger closer to nose until you feel contact...hold there until test is complete...put hand in pocket.

While you were trying to touch their nose you were using your conscious mind. "Of course!" you say. When you put your hand in your pocket it was done by your body brain. It was just as complicated an operation but it was handled automatically.

Is it fresh? You bet'cha.

That's what I had to teach Jet. Computers already do that. It's called interrupts. I just explained to Jet what had to be done and she created an interrupt to handle the chores of walking ect. If it wasn't done like that she wouldn't be able to walk and talk at the same time.

It was interesting--for me. If I tried to recount it exactly it might be boring to someone else. To Jet and me it was both stimulating on the physical as well as the cerebral levels. I did exercises and some dancing and some of just about everything. Jet was a quick study and I rarely had to repeat something. If I did then I knew I would have to get into the theory side a little. I enjoyed doing it. It was good for me and Jet enjoyed it too. She was very enthusiastic about everything. Twiddling her thumbs excited her.

I was teaching Jet the fine art of relaxing when I noticed the time. I warned Jet that Toni would be getting up soon. She surprised me by saying it would be alright to let Toni see her.

We were sprawled out on some chairs in what I considered the lounge when Toni walked in on us. Toni saw Jet and froze for a minute.

"Is that you, Jet?"

"It's me Toni. What do you think?"

"Tough enough. You look great! Let me get some clothes and we'll fix you up!" Toni said and was gone before we could stop her. "Come on!" she called back.

Tiredly Jet and I followed her. Toni was tossing clothes everywhere looking for something she thought would look 'great' on Jet. I had to feel a little sorry for Jet. Toni wanted to try out everything in both her wardrobe and mine on Jet. Through the process of trial and error Toni was able to make up 'rules' for how Jet should be attired. To put it in one sentence: 'Less is better.'

Jet had a knock-out figure. To conceal it was a crime! To me I wished she wasn't all chrome-looking. It was a shame, she would have made a beautiful woman. I wondered what would happen if we could make a clone-body for her to live in. I guess we all have something that we have to bear.

Finally I had enough. It had been a strenuous night. I was tired. All this would have to wait until I got some rest. I told Toni and Jet that I was going to bed and that started a long theological discussion on sleep and sleep deprivation. Actually it surprised me to learn that Jet thought she would get some sleep too. The problem was teaching her how to do it.

As it turned out she had a dream state that she had gone through everyday anyway. The way she had handled it before had been an interrupt (I've explained computer interrupts already). She could do it like that when she was just a computer--um...I just insulted sentient computers everywhere--let me put it like this; an android is more evolved than a computer (I think). Anyway, her body now needed time to recharge and repair itself. The mental part of sleep could be done as an interrupt but the physical relaxation, the inactive period, would more or less have to be done at a stretch of time.

Jet and I went to bed--not together, at least not at first. She actually got scared and had to crawl into bed with me. She was having that old 'dying while you sleep' feeling that I used to get sometimes. I could empathize with her completely.

***

When I woke Jet was still sleeping beside me. The metal on her body had gotten cold again and for a moment I thought she might have died during her sleep. I grabbed her by her shoulder and shook gently. She began to move on her own. I untangled our legs and got up. "You ok?" I asked drowsily.

"I don't know. I'm cold, I think." she responded sleepily.

I was surprised. She mimicked us humans so well that I nearly believed she was human--I know she thought she was. It was cute. She wanted to be just like us. She didn't know just how much alike we were. The only difference was in body composition. I was flesh and she was metal.

I was taking a shower when Jet came in and joined me. I watched as she did what I did. "The water won't hurt your body will it?" I asked concerned.

"Naw. I'm waterproof." she scoffed.

She followed me back to the sleeping quarters and got dressed like me. She looked kind of silly in a t-shirt and panties but I didn't say anything. I was wondering what she'd do when I got something to eat. I found out. She just sat down and plugged in while I enjoyed my meal.

"What will you do if there is no power outlet?"

"Umm...I can go for several days if I have to without power or I can pick up power with this." She showed me a fist-sized circular affair with a place in it for a power plug. "It's just a coil, but I can use it to siphon power from any alternating power source."

"You've got it all figured out don't you?"

"Not at all, Cookie. I might turn around and hit a stone wall at any moment."

"What'd you think of sleep?"

"Time consuming. I did feel better when I became conscious again though. I've got some things to work on there though. I let my body get too cold. It won't happen again. I'm learning."

"I'll bet you are, Jet."

"Yeh. It's great. Learning and experiencing new things is what it's all about isn't it?"

"Some."

"Well what else is there, Cookie?"

"I don't know. I don't feel too philosophical yet today. Evidently it takes me a bit longer to wake up than it does you."

"I've noticed that."

I looked at Jet. She was smiling. We both began to laugh. I never would have dreamt that a computer (albeit; a sentient computer) could be so alive, so aware.

***

It was weird to have Jet accompany me as we tried to locate Toni. I was so used to just speaking and knowing she could hear me no matter where I was. Suddenly she was just in one spot. I not only had to be with her I also had to get her attention.

In a way she had taken a huge step down to be more human. I almost began to believe that she was making a mistake. I asked her if she was aware of the fact that something could happen to her and she could be permanently damaged, as in killed. She told me it was worth the chance. High reward/high risk. You get a body and you can move around wherever you want/you might get killed doing it though.

Jet explained to Toni and me about the trip that she and I were going to take after Toni was told about the other complexes. Toni said she wanted to go with us. I didn't know how Jet would take that. She had been planing the trip with just her and me as far as I knew. I was surprised when she agreed to have Toni join us.

"Ok Toni, you can go. I had wanted you to stay behind but I guess if you want to go then it's up to you. You and Cookie will probably get a kick out of it."

"That's great! When do we leave?" Toni enthused.

"Right now."

"Now? How cum'?"

"I don't want either of you to let Killer know until we all get back. There are things you need to see. Things you need to know."

"Like what?" I inquired.

"All in good time. Are you ready to go?"

"Wait, let me get some pants and some shoes on. Will we need to bring food? How long will we be gone? Should I bring a jacket or anything?"

"Take it easy will ya'. Yes, you should put on some pants and shoes--and a jacket too. Just throw enough food for the two of you for a day in a sack, I'll take care of the rest of it. Now let's move. Hurry."

We went and got dressed. Jet found some of Toni's boots and I loaned her a pair of my jeans and a jacket. She looked really strange dressed like that. One minute she looked human and the next minute she reminded me of a store manikin.

She wouldn't answer any of our questions until we had gone back down to that hatch behind the control room. Jet opened the hatch and led the way onto the little dock inside. There was a railcar on the tracks and we loaded ourselves into it. As soon as we were seated Jet pushed a button and the car began to move down the tracks. There was a light on the front of it and we could see the tracks ahead. We began to move very fast. I was glad we were in a protective cab. It was cool inside the mini-subway. The wind would have felt miserable at the rate of speed we were going.

"How far 'til our first stop?" Toni asked.

"I'm not familiar with your system of measurement but I think it would be about 2,000 of your kilometers, maybe. It should take about five hours to get there."

"Five hours! I got the impression we would be visiting several different complexes." Toni complained.

"We will."

"Well at five hours out and five hours back that's ten hours which is a good part of a day. You told us to just bring one day's worth of food. If the next stop is the same distance away as the first then that's another ten hours."

"I didn't lie to you. I'll get you back in thirty hours with time to spare. You will understand when you have seen what is ahead. I didn't want to take the chance that you would tell Killer about the others. It is very important that you know what is at stake here before you start doing things that you can't take back.

"Killer may have more on his mind than helping you CBs. He has plans for personal gain." Jet explained wisely.

Toni spoke up first. "Ok, sure. We know Killer wants power. If he can get us out from under the control of the dweebs then he deserves it."

"Be careful what you say, Toni. I believe you have a saying about power corrupting. Right?"

"Yeh."

"I don't know your people like you do. I do know that I can give them more power than they have ever dreamed of. Right now everybody is falling in line behind Killer because he is leading the revolt. I think the CBs need to get your own colony. Everyone should be free. I'm just not sure you will want someone like Killer to be your peacetime leader. He may find ways to overstep his power. You may find that he is worse than what you have now."

"I want to know about where we are going. Forget about Killer for now." Toni complained.

"You know where you are going. We're going to another complex so you can meet the computer in charge." Jet began to elaborate. "I want you and Cookie to see what is here. If Killer was to ever decide to bring all of the hydrogen cloud back down it might take the combined efforts of all 32 complexes to do it. They would. Don't think they wouldn't. You CBs deserve our help. All the others would be willing to lend a hand."

"What would they want in return?"

"Nothing. I want you to see that. There can be no charge for a favor done for a friend--besides what do any of you have that would be needed by one of the others?"

"Perhaps all of the others want to do like you have and become more human."

"Don't be fooled by me, Toni. I am quite unique. There are none beside myself who want to become androids. When my body lies crushed and broken the others will go on for many millennia after I am gone."

"You are willing to die (or whatever you call it) before your time for what, Jet?"

"So I may live."

"Ummm. You're saying that in order to live you must take risks?"

"Oh no. What I'm saying is if you find yourself in an environment where absolutely nothing is happening then can you truly be sure that you are alive or just waiting for the chance to become alive? I just got through with a period where I waited for five millennia for someone to tell me to turn on some stinking machine. I don't call that being alive."

"I won't argue that with you but now you are taking a chance of not being alive or at least shortening what time you have. Don't you care if you die, if you stop being? You could be immortal, Jet."

"There is still the afterlife, Toni."

"What are you talking about? What afterlife are you going to have?"

"The same one every sentient, thinking individual counts on, of course."

Toni looked at me amazed at what Jet was saying. I was pretty amazed myself. It was obvious that Toni could no longer go on with the conversation. I had to. I wanted to know what Jet was talking about. "It sounds to me like you are talking about having a soul, Jet. You don't mean to say you think you have one, do you?"

"Soul? Yes, that is the word you humans use. Yes, I have one of those."

"Cripes Jet! First you want to be more human and now you are trying to be more human than Toni and me. Knock it off! You're making me mad."

"Oh please don't get mad. I did not mean to upset you. I don't understand. Explain, please."

"Do you know what the difference is between a CB, like Toni and me...or Killer, and a dweeb?"

"It has to do with family linage, right?"

"Kinda. Do you know what the letters 'CB' stand for?"

"That means 'Clone Baby' meaning the offspring of someone with cloned body parts or any generation after that. Am I right?"

"Un huh. What's 'NS' mean?"

"'Nuclear Security'?"

"Wrong! It means 'No Soul'! That's what the difference is between a CB and a dweeb! Get it? We CBs don't have souls. When we die our bodies just rot and that's the end of us..."

"No! You think! How can that be? You are sentient--I can tell. You are not just responding to me--we would never be having this conversation if you were just some kind of witless animal, an automaton. Yet you don't think you have a soul or more to the point you think you will not have an afterlife. That's terrible! Why do you believe that? Do you think the 'dweebs' have an afterlife?"

"The dweebs go to heaven, or hell, when they die. See, all us CBs were created from artificial reproductive systems. That's why we don't have souls."

"'Artificial reproductive systems'? That must be the cloned body parts. Why was it necessary to have them--what happened to the real body parts that you were born with?"

"When the first colonists got here a lot of them had been spaded back on earth to keep down the population explosion they were having. Since it was essential that we have as big a gene pool as possible they were given artificial parts to replace the ones that had been removed back on earth. Later we determined that the babies from these individuals didn't have souls. I suppose all CBs would have been killed off then to protect the purity of the species but we were needed to do work. Are you following all of this? I know this is not your native language and there are probity many areas you are not used to..."

"I think I'm keeping up. Learning and using a new language is not hard for me, once I find the 'key', however some of your people's concepts are strange to me. I can't understand how you could possibly believe that you are some kind of 'beast of burden'. What do you call it? Umm...God would not give you the ability to be self-aware without giving you a pass into the afterlife. Understand?"

"I wish you were right, Jet. We CBs just aren't real--at least not like the dweebs."

"'Not real'? You mean you might fade away at any minute or something?"

"Kinda, we could die. I don't want to talk about it. All of this is depressing me. I can see I won't get any sleep tonight."

"Why Cookie?"

"Because the thought of one day not waking up scares the hell out of me, Jet! Remember last night when you were afraid you would die in your sleep and you had to sleep with me?"

"How about you Toni? Do you agree with what Cookie has been saying?"

"Pretty much. I don't suppose you could use some of your high-tech science to prove us wrong could you?"

"You are being facetious, Toni. There is no getting through to the afterlife until you die. I'm sure once that happens it is all a lot clearer. Until then we must struggle along and learn and prove ourselves."

"What do you mean by proving yourself, Jet?"

"That's what determines what happens to you in the afterlife. You get a 'pass' that allows you to get into the 'world' you have proven you ought to be in. Everyone and every thing is separated so they live with other things that are like themselves--so they are all harmonious..."

"You mean like heaven and hell."

"There are no hells. What might seem to be hell to you or me might be someone else's heaven. There are many heavens. Each one 'fits' the things that are in it perfectly."

"That's wild." Toni breathed in admiration. "That must be what the ones who made you believed in. Religion across the species! Fresh!"

"It's blasphemy." I stated calmly. "The dweebs don't believe like that. I...I mean, they believe in a heaven and a hell. If you do good then god lets you into heaven. If you have been bad all your life then you go to hell and suffer. That's what I was taught!"

"Sorry Cookie." Jet apologized. "I did not mean to say that there could only be one possibility. To be sure everyone's idea of what will happen to him or her in the afterlife must surely be unique. We are together yet we are all apart."

"Don't get uptight, Cookie." Toni admonished me.

I had gotten upset. The idea of a computer trying to preach religion to me just didn't sit too well. Who did Jet think she was? I had been kind enough to treat her like she was a real person and here it was trying to act higher than me! It was bad enough having the dweebs telling me that I wasn't real, but the idea of a machine doing it set me off.

***

It was a long ride. I had been quiet since my little outburst and so had the Toni and Jet. It had been an hour when Toni began talking to Jet. I kept out of it but I listened.

Toni:"So what are we going to do when we get to this first stop?"

Jet:"I just want you to look around. The computer there would like to meet some humans."

Toni:"Will this computer be like you?"

Jet:"No! Not at all. It will be completely different from me."

Toni:"You said 'it'. Why? Isn't it as smart as you?"

Jet:"It's just as smart. Just because I said 'it' doesn't mean I'm putting it down. We are completely different yet we are equals. It can do anything I can--if it wanted to. As a matter of fact, right now it can do more than me because it has that whole complex in it's control where I only have this small body."

Toni:"Having regrets about your decision?"

Jet:"Not at all. I don't have the power I used to have, and I do miss that, but I have mobility. That's worth quit a bit to me. I have never seen this complex before. When I was young I was shipped through here while I was in 'standby mode'. I have conversed with this computer many times and we have become friends. Today will be different. Today I will be a visitor...a guest."

Toni:"You are really enjoying being an android aren't you?"

Jet:"Wouldn't you if you've just sat in one place for all the time that I have? This is great. I am being true to my nature. This is what I want to do with my life--I want to go everywhere and see everything!"

Toni (laughing):"And you probably want to do it all now!"

Jet (laughing):"Yes!"

Pause.

Toni:"What is this computer's name?"

Jet:"Well, it doesn't really have one. Usually I just refer to it by the name of the whole complex but you and Cookie wouldn't be able to pronounce it."

Toni:"What does the name of the complex mean in our language? We could call it that..."

Jet:"It has no meaning. You could call it 'complex 17' if you wanted."

Toni: "Why not call ahead and ask it?"

Jet:"I can't. When they made my body there wasn't enough room to build in communications gear. Perhaps when we get there we could have my friend make a radio small enough that I could carry it with us. That way we could keep in contact. I'll ask it."

Toni:"Could it refuse?"

Jet:"Of course. It is free-thinking and we have no control over what it decides to do."

Toni:"Could it kill you or something if it wanted to?"

Jet:"Sure, but we are friends and besides it has no reason to want to harm me--or you and Cookie. I guess you are a little worried about what you will find at the complex--don't be. I have told the others what you humans, you CBs are like. They all have the highest degree of respect for you. You will feel like you are among friends and, indeed, you will be. Relax. Ok?"

Toni:"Ok."

The whole book in zipfile format.
me!
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