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Dear Diary,
I woke up in my mobile study, still remembering last night, when I woke up with a bunch of sleeping furres beside me, and lazily called upon a wind which send me to the bed in my mobile study.
GigaRose's comment before I went to sleep lingered in my mind and refused to go. She, with a tinge of sarcasm, told me, "See how much you missed closing yourself up telling cool story?" Something like that, anyway.
I had to admit that I was a little bit homesick. But the fact that I can immediately go back to my cozy Laputa upon my will sooths this harsh and bitter feeling.
I had used to the smell of the sea. Suddenly, I suddenly realized why I had liked Kawatoshi so much: Kawatoshi was a town beside the sea, and was practically on a delta, with the river diving it into several parts.
I received a message from Rainbow saying that he had had Julian, PunkNeo and xXxumixXx as the successful challengers during the period when I was gulping down the sea cucumber with some lush sea weed. It had been weeks since the last time I jumped down into the sea, and got myself food from the sea bed. I had been using Rainbow to do all the little chores like washing clothes and gathering food since I found that Rainbow was not one of the stupid bots one see everywhere in Furcadia.
I had been depending on Rainbow too much already... and at this point, I swore to myself that I won't go back until I have got my answers to that lingering question in my mind.
Why are furres not trying to avoid tragedies? Even if the definition of tragedies varies across individuals, many furres still don't want to see, if there is, and that they can see it if they try to, the possibility of a coming tragedy?
Are the cost of such move too expensive? Thinking more certainly is not expensive. I would bet that a lot of furres would like to exchange their avoidable, tragic fate with a moment of serious thinking.
Or is that the thought of a tragedy is equal, or nearly as painful as to experiencing the tragedy itself?
My tears were rolling in my eyes, because I know too well that even the thought of a possible tragedy, even if it will not affect me, or that it is of the past, will induce great pain in myself.
And therefore they simply choose not to look. Some of them are afraid of the fact of foreseeing an unavoidable tragedy accidentally. Some of them are just trying to avoid the pain of foreseeing one. Some of them are put off by the (mere?) unpleasant possibility of foreseeing one.
Is there a solution?
I decided to end my meditation here because I was all wet (still haven't shook myself after I finished the breakfast at where I found my breakfast) and floating on the sea, under the wind and my mobile study, obsessed by a strong emotion that was indescribable and choky.
I stayed in my study for the whole day, reading more about the lost technology, and searched for the entrance to Kawatoshi each time during the standard walk after each meal. Will I every catch up with the level of the technology and knowledge there once was?
And, before bed, I suddenly had a "weird" question -- will I ever go back to where I came from? And then what will happen if I do? And if I don't?
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