12.29
I guess I’ll never be on Twitter, either. The last one here is over 140 chars anyway.
12.xx
Another testosterone/libido enhancement commercial.
And I find it ridiculous— not for the customer, but for me.
I mean, have a drive… but never a partner. Wwa-wwa...
12.15
Maneater: Oates bites Hall in alleged face-biting feud—two guys with those names, not the band.
12.09
Traveling for the holidays? No.
Relatives that fart when they cough/sneeze. Un-get-away-able.
More ‘beautiful people’ who know little… Welcome!
12.08
Battle of the ‘Call Me Maybe’ Christmas lights.
TRENDING NOW!! AHH!!!: mom breastfeeds wrong baby; whiskey cures blindness.
OMG!: Jennifer Hudson makes a fashion fumble.
No, don’t love the person in the dress—report on insignificant fashion faux pas. Tabloid news.
Top 10 searches: JLo tops.
Jessica Biel-reveals hubby Justin Timberlakes secret talent: baking.
12.07
Welcome to “Pipin’ sh*t.”
Child joins street singer, steals the show.
Having the last word: BAD.
12.06
Hemorhaging cupcakes!
11.26
Seven Dwarfs rejects: Sleazy (politician), Bashy (wife-beater), Mopey (suicidal).
My mother wants to include Stinky. She loves that farting Stinky.
11.20
Alaskan town home to airport w. no planes and harbor with no road.
Police arrest man who wore bomb-themed timepiece.
11.12
The Simpsons mocks Karl Rove.
Halle Berry denied move to France.
11.07
Welcome back to hell, Kotter. Wait— that was a premonition? You mean, I knew Obama would win?!
From the sunny side of Hell, California—the state that, after the “big one,” will drift off into the ocean.
11.01
The man who sued his wife for birthing an ugly baby.
10.26
Le Clown/Weebles email exg. hits an interesting point:
Tim Gunn (in no relation to
Breaking Bad’s Anna Gunn, I think): “Organ failure is very on trend.”
(And no, a link on this page’d be devastating—the zero traffic here is
golden.)
10.25 - *Posted.*
10.24
Golden Shower ClownOnFire post: image of “urine” poured on Le Clown’s head;
Tags
ADD, blogger, brand, concept, fitness, golden shower, pee, piss, urine,
writer, &
holistic health... and a
98% female audience?
LePē.
No comments over at...? Like the other time on...— weird. Oh well. Write away.
Hours later... RUDE, how
dare I.
Big Mistake Made:
Super-Self-Hatred Mode, Go!
I am my enemy— DIE, ME, DIE!
...Say “good-bye,” Scruples. Scruples:
Good-bye!
And you forget who’s responsible for what...
10.23 *removed*
10.21
Some bad thoughts keep me awake; of pests and farting and the rest.
Mass. man wins $30 mn. lottery after losing girlfriend.
10.18
Damien Hirst art show killed 9,000 butterflies.
Lost boy kept warm by puppies.
Woman, 80, arrested for removing Obama-Hitler sign.
10.16
Maine police return stolen pot to man.
Yes, everything comes down the presidential position. Your life revolves around POTUS.
ABC News OTUS: Alan Alda or John Wayne? What women want in a president.
“Many women think they have to decide between a man who is gentle but weak and one who is strong but mean.”
Rock of Ages:
♪ I say, NO (NO), nah-no, nah-no, nah’ooOoOoOo. ♪
♪ The only thing I’m gonna say to you: I Wanna Rock (Rock), Rock (Rock), rock you in your pants. I Wanna... ♪
Jaxx’s reporter girl, already several-months pregnant, after —what, minutes?
Honey Boo Boo & Mama June Invade Access Hollywood Live!
10.14
Food fight: Naples protests ‘culinary racism’ over pizza snub—Christian Science Monitor.
10.12
Joe Biden fans raise money to buy him a Trans Am.
Machete-wielding man on bicycle crashes girl’s birthday party; steals beer.
10.06
I just fooled my mother, 60,
—look, a picture of Charlie Manson, when he was young.
“[H]e looks so young,” until she read the text,
“
The Essential Kenny Loggins”.
10.05
Jus'cuz I lik'd yur post dsnt mean u shd follo.
The best word in the English language: blah. It just sums up all words.
Zombies teach CPR in new PSA.
10.04
More junk food, more poison.
Crap in, crap out, the crapper.
10.03
Forest Service wins Paintball war w. aggressive mountain goats.
Pilot fakes imminent plane crash bef. marriage proposal.
‘Like’ something on Facebook, go directly to jail.
Roadkill kitchen: KY restaurant shut down after unsettling sight.
Trending now: Vick has blown $30 million.
9.30
Apple CEO apologizes, recommends rivals for Maps flaws in Apple/iPad/iOS/
whatever/f**k you.
Virus of the kind that causes one to
vomit hits thousands of German children.
9.29
Iranian news agency duped by Onion story on Obama poll.
U.N. chief duped by prank call fm. fake Canadian PM.
Romney distributes beef jerky to reporters, one of whom gets “jerky envy.”
9.28
Can’t defend yourself from an adrenaline-kicked kickboxer? Man Up! Grow A Pair! Of Testicles!
So violent, it’s
NC-17:
Best of the Best IX: the Besticle.
9.27
Cayman(s):
3 women photobomb—stingray sneaks up on them.
Update: the
story behind the story.
9.26
I’m an [un]mitigated dis
asster. It’s spooky how I never win...
♪ Sonofabitch. ♪ *snap* *snap*
♪ Sonofabitch. ♪ *snap* *snap*
♪ Sonofabitch, sonofabitch, sonofabitch. ♪ *snap* *snap*
♪ They’re needy and they’re moody, they’re altogether bluesy;
they’re only gonna lose-y, the failures, peers like me. ♪
*snap* *snap*
West Side Story meets
Beavis and Butthead: Cornholios v. Assholios.
♪ F**kers, F**kers... these-are some ugly mothers. ♪
9.25
Mansome ep. #44, Larping:
how to have a “grown-up” sword fight.
Victoria’s Secret ‘in hot water’ over “Sexy Little Geisha” outfit.
ME DA: man shows up at his OUI trial drunk.
The fart wants what the fart wants.
♪ What a fart wants, what a fart needs; whomever squeaks me
No Emma Watsons here: a male wallflower in a state that cares nothing of you
(go ahead and kill yourself).
Supernerd says: the sex drive? Is that next to the hard drive?
9.22
Man allegedly steals $100K coin collection, then spends at face value on pizza...
Romney releases 2011 tax return, paid 14.1%.
9.21
Found: a superiority complex upon a bullshit complex.
Four/day — is anyone else getting this much “Fuc*Book” SPAM?
Hero pig saves baby goat from drowning.
USPS asks Floridians to stop crashing into post offices.
Which presidential candidate gave more to charity?
Portland Phoenix: Bilbo (Baggins) invite: he’s eleventy-one, and comes to celebrate!
9.18
9.17
MSNBC host sees impact of social media. No TV, and I still have to see this crap.
USA Today/Jefferson Graham interviews fmr.
West Wing producer Laurence O’Donnell, as if he’s normal.
In under two years, one of the highest-rated personalities...on MSNBC, near or at Rachel Maddow. In L.A.:
I love some of the most hateful tweets. I think they’re very funny. In the negative attacks on me, there
are frequently some real displays of humor. I want to reply, but I won’t, because there are all sorts of
other people making serious points that I care about, and I don’t want to ruin their Twitter experience.
(At his level, the twitter experience: honest and rel
iable.)
Ratings prediction:
Last Word averages 1 million viewers, 10 times the size of my Twitter followers.
Newsweek cover on another page. Corporate media, centralized.
9.15
Looks like I was way ahead of
G.Beck on saying Obama believes in nothing but himself.
9.14
Holy plane crash, Batman! Is it the end of
Grey’s Anatomy? I hope so.
I hope it turns out like
Alive, where they eat each other; they already dramatically eat each other.
9.13
Congo: scientists ID new ‘cute’ monkey species.
One man traveling cross-country uses only bacon as barter.
9.11
David Adickes’ 36 ft. tall statues of the Beatles.
9.05
Five days off! Unbelievable.
♪ I’ve got sunshine, on a cloudy day ... What can I say, what the hell I’ll feel this day.
I’m dead, I’m dead, I’M dead; talkin’ ’bout My death. I’m dead.
...OOoooooooOooo. ♪
9.04
American Pie Seinfeld:
What’s the deal with mastur— Kramer enters.
Say, Jerry— Whoa, did-I come at a bad time? Jerry:
I’d say I’m
‘coming’ at a bad time.
George, the rest of the gang, Jerry’s parents enter. [sign-off music]
9.03
Jason Biggs just had to come up with an ugly pol. tweet.
8.xx
Some f
*?king
year. Goddamnit.
2012 | is both great
and it sucks. |
8.18
Got the weekend forcibly off.
♪ You ’got style
, you ’got class; you got one
...big fat ass. ♪
♪ Sh..shake it! Shake it! —Shake it!
Shake it! —Shake it! Shake it —like a Polaroid pict..’cha. Hey ’ya. ♪
C’mon Man/“comedian” F.U. to his audience:
man, F[]k y’all.
8.09
Washington, District of
Columbiana.
8.04
AFP: Minnows easy prey for big breasts. —big
beasts!
Damn, I’m hard not —I mean,
It’s hard not taking these sporting events as... Never mind.
8.03
New Clive Owen film, with the man w/o a face, reminds us of the responsibility
- the
we do everything for our children.
I’m a terrified disaster, unable to even face the neighbors. To think if I had children...
Dead.
Olympics nipple slip!
8.02
When the world gets bent.
6.07
The Lookout: jogger (occupation?) S. Palleschi is unusually surprised (
blew me away
)
when
tombstones are revealed on Ocean Beach in San Francisco, California, U.S.A., Earth, Milky Way.
Thief steals U.S. flag from man in chicken suit.
2.28
Formal Military Glandular Discharge. (Also known as an FMGD.)
2.16
Environment America: ~80% of natl. pop. affected by fierce weather in last 6 years.
Is there such a thing as zero weather, or not being affected by weather?
2.15
French bulldog adopts wild boar piglets.
ABA: Ass Bleeders Anon. Chipotle addicts.
02.10
Siberia: Woolly mammoth or bear spotted.
U.S. Marines posed w/ Nazi symbol in Afghanistan. (Unintentional; they didn’t recognize the SS.)
Yahoo News Blog: Italian satellite a laser disco ball for science.
Einstein would be dancing.
Sandia Labs engineers create self-guided bullet.
02.07
Ass-handers: we hand your ass to you.
Crappers Insurance (old, ten years old): when you die you get mo’ benefits.
02.04
VT inmates hide pig in official police car decal.
02.01
Heh, CALM DOWN, DAMNIT! Have a sense of humor, OR ELSE...
The Antichrist at work again: Newtrons, other supports of pol. candidates attacking Howie Carr,
comparing their candidate to Christ:
you hate Christ, at least one said.
The Book of IQ Tests (2007) is discouraging due to its intentionally misleading questions.
Update: test 4:30 is bad (misprint, duplicate), with no '?' for 'what should replace it.'
01.18
Daniel Radcliffe defends Lana Del Rey after not-so-great
SNL performance.
Sledding crow (on lid jar) becomes web sensation.
Bourdain takes jab at Deen after she reveals her diabetes.
Madeline Schichtel compiles mundane videos, one a day for a year.
01.07
At fHarmony, we find your match, kidnap the two of you, and force you to f[.]
I’m Chris Hansen. Have a- sex.
01.02
The Cure parody:
♪ Wednesday, put a bag on head; Thursday, I will wake up dead;
it’s Friday, and I’m in love. ♪
01.01
New year, same goddamned format.