The historical twin spires of Churchill Downs, which at night become lightning rods drawing forth the power of the Underworld. Or perhaps I've watched too much "Buffy the Vampire Slayer."

Good thing Gabriel's a mudder, because track conditions look soggy.

Love and marriage go together like a horse and carriage.

Just once I want a horse to be named something like Phil. What a thrill to be holding your ticket high, screaming loudly, "Come on, Phil! Go, Phil! I've got 50 riding on Phil!"

Gabriel's not really sure about this Japanese custom of getting fruits and veggies for your birthday.

He warms up to the idea after a few sips from Buddha's belly and droopy man boobs.

Next, on "Jaws: Japanese Steakhouse," patrons are attacked by flying hammerheads. We're gonna need a bigger grill.