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Christmas giving becomes more and more expensive as our extensive family becomes more distant. The cost is not only that of the gifts themselves but the mail, FedEx, UPS, Overnight, &c. charges seem to multiply each year. So our family has tried different means to cope with the problem.
One failed experiment involved the drawing of names. Thought being that instead of a bunch of insignificant gifts, one nice gift would be most appreciated. In addition, cost of shipping would be greatly diminished. It was a failure! Imagine if you will, trying to select just the one perfect gift for the name chosen. And at the appointed time for the recipient, trying to express glee when you are greatly dissatisfied with the gift.
So what to do?
We have arrived at a solution that while not perfect keeps the spirit of Christmas alive and provides a great deal of humor in the process. In addition, while it does not diminish the cost of shipping, it does to some degree reduce the cost of the gifts under the tree. In part this is possible because long ago a member of the family designed large stockings for hanging over the fireplace or on a door knob if no fireplace was available. Grammy's stockings were made of a fine satin, with a turned down top appointed with ties for attaching gifts to the outside. The ties and toe, end with bells that jingle and jangle at the slightest touch. A large loop at the top is just right for hanging . As new members of the family are added, stockings are made. Now some have gay designs, bright figures and ribbons and bows, but they all are of the humongous size of the originals designed by Grammy.
How to fill such a stocking?
Well first there is always the traditional nuts and candy, perhaps an apple, orange or even tangerines, lemons and grapefruit if you are in Florida. Then comes the gifts from Santa. These small packages containing surprises fill interior space and the larger horns, airplanes, puzzles and games are tied alongside.
As you can imagine acquiring these small "inexpensive" gifts is not something one should decide to do at the last moment. So our solution is to recycle gifts from previous years. Imagine if you will, a puzzle from the Fort Worth Worthams. The greatest task is getting the puzzle back inside the box in preparation for next year's surprise. there are the hand carved whistles from New Guinea brought back by my sister, Alyne, when she taught there. Ancient wind-up toys that perform once a year are carefully protected and boxed to ensure that they suffer no damage. Perhaps a South Dakota salt shaker for those on a low sodium diet; it has no holes in the top to make sure you abide by your doctor's orders. Or maybe an Arkansas do-nothing; a square device that is hand cranked, causing pieces to slide back and forth accomplishing absolutely nothing. Over the years the accumulation of "gifts" makes it possible for each family to recycle a number of them in the Christmas box.
Not even the pets are left out. Smaller stockings are provided for Gasket, October, Henrietta, Charlie, &c. (Most of which have long gone from the household, but their replacements have enjoyed the toys.)
In particular, Gasket had a favorite rubber ball which was recycled each Christmas. The ball had seen previous service as an attachment to a paddle via a rubber band. Somehow she had managed to free the ball and it became hers. On opening the presents, the cats were perhaps the most curious as to what was in the packages and crowded around the tree like small children. When Gasket's stocking was opened and the rubber ball bounce out, she immediately claimed it as her own and off to the upstairs she would go. On the second floor you could hear her talking to her old friend. Then the clang and banging as she pursued it along the halls.
As usual, she would bring the ball to the top of the stairs. Speak a few words of encouragement to it, and then give it a push sending it bounding down the stairs. As it reached the landing it would bound against the wall before continuing its decent. In hasty pursuit would be Gasket. Down it came. Making the corner and reentering the living room. Then the game became more serious as the ball would dart under a chair. Perhaps hide under the couch, or escape to the dining room. Gasket's claws attempted to gain purchase against the waxed floors and she on catching up with the ball would speed it on its way with a few well chosen sounds and a bat with a paw. Finally catching the ball, it was back to the upstairs so the game could be repeated. When she finally tired of the chase and the ball abandoned, we packed it away for another year.
So Santa's gifts always were and are appreciated and carefully packed away for next year. Now some gifts are too large for the stocking so they are carefully placed under the tree. But make no mistake, the label when it says from Santa, Mrs. Claus, the Elves, Rudolph, &c., you know that this is a special treasure. Which leads me to the Fruit Cake.
Everyone talks about fruit cakes and the world knows that no one eats them, but when you go to the local grocery, drugstore, gas station, bar, there's fruit cakes on the counter or in the bins. From Georgia, there's Claxton's. From Texas there's Corsicana's famous fruit cake, &c, &c, &c. In fact, most every cook book includes recipes for not one but many versions of this American novelty. So what's the deal. It may come as a surprise to some but there are people out there that actually eat fruit cake. Perhaps, in the whole world there is no family like ours, you see, we: 1) actually eat fruit cake, 2) exchange them as gifts (more on this later), and 3) one member of the family collects fruit cakes (tin and all). That's weird!
First, on eating fruit cake. Homemade is best but the store bought variety can actually be eaten with relish, if, perhaps it is enhanced by addition of a bit of bourbon, sherry, (you get the picture). This actually provides needed moisture and the alcohol is a preservative, as if a preservative is needed. Granted some are better than others but by and large the most humble fruitcake is better than the products sold in grocery stores that pass for cookies. Try it you may like it. (Or give it to Mikey, as the old commercials once challenged us.)
Third, on collecting fruit cakes. Yes you can actually collect fruit cakes. In their original tins, they are most unusual. And, because of the ingredients, they last and last., which brings us to the second item (exchanging them as gifts). I know the sequence is out of order but you will see why, exchanging them was saved for last.
Second, on exchanging fruit cakes. Since you have now been convinced that you can actually save a fruit cake from one year to the next, it seems only appropriate that you might want to share your bounty with a few select friends and family. Why not? Here's how it's done in our family and has become a tradition:
Select a fine example of a fruit cake that in an equally fine tin. Then find a nice large label that can be attached. (This is most important.) Now place the recipients name at the top of the label and place the tin under the Christmas tree or mail it off, or otherwise deliver it to the intended.
Now on Christmas morning, imagine the surprise and glee that will be expressed when your chosen one finds that you cared enough to give the very best (another Madison Avenue quotable). Of course, when it is realized what a treasure you have bestowed, and after offering a bite to those assembled, which will of course be refused because it just doesn't seem right, the cake will be returned to its tin and its rightful place of honor under the tree.
After the twelve days of Christmas have passed, or some other number appropriate for the occasion, the tree will be taken down and the ornaments carefully packed away for next years celebration. But what to do with the fruit cake? No problem, it goes in the box with the other treasures.
Almost a year passes. Time for putting up the tree, decorations are in order and gifts to be bought and exchanged. And now you find that among the bounty is the fruit cake. No need to check to see if it is O.K. Just assume it to be and make plans for who will be the lucky recipient this year. Since you know from whence it came, it would be very rude to give it back, so you select another family member who you know will appreciate this most welcome gift. Pack it carefully. One wouldn't want the postal service, UPS or FedEx to have to pay an insurance claim.
As the year comes to an end, gifts are piled under the tree, once again the fruit cake assumes it's favored position. And if all goes well the new recipient will cross off her (or his) name and place it away for safe keeping and giving next year. And the next, and the next.
The family had one particular cake that had made six passages through the mails before it met an untimely fate. Seems our new daughter-in-law, not being made fully aware of the significance of the gift, did a dastardly thing. When the box of gifts arrived, she opened it and carefully place each gift under the tree. When she came to the fruit cake in its beautifully decorated tin, she opened it up and was overwhelmed. Of course, she took a bite, then another, and another. It is reported by our son that she ate the whole thing.
Now you may doubt his story. And instead believe that she tossed it in the garbage, but since I have more faith in human nature, and am aware of the appeal of a fruit cake, I am sure that the cake was given its appropriate final resting place.
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