Harm’s Apartment
North of Union Station
Sunday 0405 Local

She woke up wrapped securely in his arms. It was a wonderful feeling. She watched him as he slept, a slight smile on his handsome features. Reaching out, she gently caressed his cheek, smiling when he kissed her hand in his sleep.

Wide-awake, but not wanting to disturb him, she got up and used the bathroom. She returned from the bathroom wearing his robe, which had been hanging on a hook on the wall. He was still sound asleep, snoring softly now as he lay on his back. Stifling a giggle, she left the bedroom.

She turned the light over the sink on. Quietly she picked up the dishes from dinner and began to clean the kitchen, her thought drifting while she worked.

She really was with Harm. A chill of fear ran through her. What if it really was just something to help her? What if he didn’t really love her? What if he realized what he was getting into, how she had screwed up her life so bad?

Finishing the dishes, she went and snuggled up into an afghan on the couch as thoughts like this continued to torment her. She wished she could talk to Uncle Mat. This thought brought tears to her eyes as she remembered the man who had been there for her, saved her, when no one else in the world gave a damn about her.

She thought about how he had held her at Red Rock Mesa when she didn’t think she could make it through the drying out. How his wise advice and loving words guided her into making better choices for her life. And how his shining example had inspired her to join the Marines.

The tears flowed more freely.

Harm woke up to the sound of soft crying. “Mac?” She wasn’t in the bed with him.

He got up, slipped on some boxers, and went to find her.

“Mac? What is it Baby?”

She wiped her face and tried to stifle her crying. “I’m sorry, did I wake you?”

“Yes, but I’m glad you did. What’s wrong?” He sat beside her and pulled her into his arms, noting her stiffness.

“Nothing, I’m fine.”

“Mac, please don’t shut me out now. We need to communicate with each other, both of us. I promise I will never hide anything from you, so please don’t hide anything from me.”

“It’s just- I mean- I was thinking about Uncle Mat.” She laid her head on his chest, finally relaxing into his arms. “I needed to talk to him, and I started remembering all the wonderful things he had done for me.”

“He’ll always be there in your heart Sarah. And I believe he’s still watching out for you, you just can’t see him anymore.” He started to smile. “I’ll bet my Dad and him are trading stories and laughing about us right now.”

He felt her smile against his bare chest. “I like that idea a lot. I hope you’re right.”

It was quiet as they snuggled together, just enjoying being together.

“So what did you need to talk to him about?” Harm broke the silence finally with a question that he’d wanted to ask the minute she’d said it.

“I- uhm- uh, it’s hard to explain.” She really didn’t want to load him up with her problems; he’d already done so much.

“So try.” He wasn’t about to let her get away from him now.

She sat up and slid away from him, giving him the afghan while she paced nervously. “Harm, I guess I’m just scared. I’m scared you just feel sorry for me, that you don’t really want me. And I’m scared that even if you do love me you’ll find out you don’t want me because of all the mistakes I’ve made in my life. I’m scared that this won’t work out, because after this I don’t think I can make it if we don’t. I’m just scared!”

He realized that a lifetime of self-doubt was not going to be erased in a single day, no matter how wonderful the day was. She was going to have times like this, and he had to learn to deal with them. Eventually she would come to understand the depth of his love for her, and she would understand that she was a wonderful person and someone to be proud of.

He caught her arm as she paced by and pulled her back into his lap. Cradling her gently; he kissed her forehead and wrapped his arms around her, surrounding her with his love and warmth.

“Sarah, it’s natural to be scared. I was scared too, but I finally realized that fear was keeping me from something wonderful-you.

First of all, you have to know that it was not ‘feeling sorry for you’ that brought us together. I love you very much, and I thank god that we are FINALLY together.” He chuckled at his next thought. “I have felt sorry for Bud some times, but I never even thought about this with him!” This brought an answering snicker from her. Encouraged, he continued.

“Second of all, the mistakes you’ve made in your life are the things that have made you who you are. You overcame enormous obstacles Mac, and I admire that about you. You are a wonderful, giving, caring person, beautiful inside and out, and nothing you did in the past is going to change my opinion of you.

Thirdly, I know you Mac. I know you will never do anything that could change my love and respect for you. You are honest and loyal, and go to the ends of the earth for the people you love. I know, because I have been one of the recipients of that honesty and loyalty, even though I didn’t deserve it.

Fourthly, we ARE going to work out. If the worst happens and YOU decide you don’t want us, I will still be your friend. We’ve come too far together for anything to change that. And that’s another reason I know we will make it, because we ARE friends and have been through everything.”

He had laid out his points like the lawyer he was, trusting in her ability to see the truth in his statements.

As he talked, she traced soft patterns on his chest with her fingertips. “I’m sorry Harm, I know I’m being ridiculous”- He cut her off quickly.

“Mac, stop apologizing for your feelings, and you are not being ridiculous. Just be honest with me when you have problems and I will be honest with you when I have problems.”

The feel of her in his lap and her fingers on her chest were arousing him. She turned her head to his chest, tracing his nipple with her tongue, bringing an immediate reaction from him.

“Feels like you have a problem now Flyboy, wanna be honest about it?”

He actually blushed, grateful she couldn’t see that in the dark.

“Well, now that you mention it, I do have a small problem.”

“Oh sailor, I think it’s a BIG problem.”

She felt the laugh rumble in his chest.

“So, can you help me with this problem?”

“I think so. At least I’ll try, and you tell me if it helps, OK?”

Slowly, she slid off his lap and to her knees on the floor in front of him. Reaching out, she unsnapped his boxers and pushed them away from his throbbing erection. Gently she stroked him with her fingers, bringing a gasp of pleasure from him. Leaning over, she sucked him gently into her warm mouth, her hand stroking at the base. Lovingly she trailed her tongue up and down the shaft before engulfing him once again.

“Mac, if you don’t stop that it’s going to be over in a minute.” His hands were on her shoulders, but she noticed he made no move to push her away.

“Just relax and enjoy it Harm. This is for you. Please, I want to do this.”

He couldn’t believe his ears. She was saying ‘please’ for this. Like he was denying her something if he said no. God he was lucky. Lucky and stupid. Lucky because he finally was with her, stupid because it took him so long.

He allowed his head to fall back on the couch, his hands holding her head and playing with her hair as she pleasured him.

The sensations overwhelmed him. Her mouth was so warm and wet, her tongue swirling around the head. She took all him slowly into her mouth, ‘deep throating’ him, and gently scraped her teeth along the shaft as she pulled away. She repeated this exciting maneuver a few times, bringing him to the point where all coherent thought was impossible.

Instead of continuing, she paused. Looking up at him with sultry eyes she whispered, “I want you Harm. I want to taste you. Give it all to me, please.” He almost came just from that statement alone, but managed to hold off.

She returned to the task of tantalizing him, bringing him to the edge and stopping at the last minute, inciting him to a state of excitement he had never known.

“Mac, please. You’re making me crazy. I can’t stand it. Please,” he begged between moans.

“Patience Harm. I want this to be wonderful for you.”

He could not reply, all speech capability lost. He was reduced to incoherent gasps and groans of pleasure. She again took him in her mouth, but this time she moved faster. She used both hands as well, one stroking the base again, the other caressing his balls. He began to move his hips, unable to stop himself.

She followed his movements, using them in a counterpoint with her mouth to maximize his pleasure.

He prayed she wouldn’t stop again, he couldn’t stand if it she did.

She continued.

Finally, with a rasping call of her name, every muscle in his body clenched, his seed spilled into her mouth and he came with a force he had never before experienced.

Limply he collapsed on the couch, still unable to speak.

She raised her head and met his eyes, licking her lips. “Delicious”

She sat beside him. He managed to find the strength to wrap an arm around her and bring her close to him.

“Well, did that help with the problem?”

He laughed. “It certainly solved part of the problem.”

“Only part?” She pouted.

“Yeah, there’s another part.” He pulled her into his lap so she was straddling him.

“And what’s that?”

He pulled her down to kiss her passionately. “I can’t have an unsatisfied woman here. It’s an affront to my pilot’s ego.”

Her chocolate eyes regarded him solemnly. “I don’t think you’re in much shape to do anything about it right now.”

Rolling her over, he pinned her to the couch. “Oh I think I can manage something.”

He opened her robe and began a teasing assault with his mouth on her nipple.

“Harm, you don’t have to”, she broke off as he bit her nipple. Switching to the other nipple, he sucked it until it was also hard.

“I know I don’t have to, I want to.”

He worked his way up her chest, pausing to suck at her collarbone. Continuing his exploration, he nibbled and kissed her neck, causing goosebumps to appear. His hands covered her breasts, caressing and massaging them.

Finally he kissed her ear, blowing softly into it and tracing his tongue around the edge. She shivered from delight.

“Do you like this Sarah? Tell me you want this.” His sexy whisper in her ear caused her to shiver again.

“Oh Harm, yes, I want this. I want you so badly.” Now she was the one reduced to gasps and moans, only able to get that out with great difficulty.

He slipped one hand down to her center, rubbing her clit gently. He finally kissed her mouth, at first barely touching her lips with his as his fingers teased her, then fully kissing her, his tongue playing with hers.

He moved his hand back to her breast, both hands pinching the nipples. At her groan of protest he smiled against her mouth. “Patience, Sarah,” using her own words against her. “I want this to be wonderful for you.”

He moved down her body, kissing and nipping all the way, spending a long time on her breasts, running his tongue into her navel before reaching her wet center.

“Please Harm, I can’t wait. Please.” She begged him as he had begged her.

Slowly, carefully, he slipped two fingers inside her. She writhed against him, unable to control herself.

Using his tongue, he circled and played with her clit while moving his fingers in and out of her.

The taste of her sex as well as her moans and cries were arousing him again. He felt his penis harden.

He continued the onslaught, licking and teasing, and using his fingers inside her until he felt her tighten up inside. With a long moaning cry she came. He continued to gently play with her clit, drawing her orgasm out as long as possible.

When her internal muscles finally stopped he slid back up her body, entering her.

“Oh God Harm, you feel so good inside me, please don’t stop.” As if he could.

Even though she had just come, the feel of him moving inside her was wonderful. She held him close and moved with him, matching his rhythm. It didn’t take long until he came too, calling her name.

“I think you’ve done it Mac. I have died.”

“Well, if you did you took me with you.”

“I don’t think I can move.”

“Let’s just stay here on the couch. Movement is overrated anyway.”

They fell back asleep, still joined.

Harm’s Apartment
North of Union Station
Monday 0645 Local

Sunday had been spent together. More talking and laughing, more making love. An altogether wonderful day. She couldn’t remember ever feeling this happy. She had a brief flash of guilt about feeling so happy after Uncle Mat’s death, but as Harm pointed out, he had just wanted her to be happy. She resolutely refused to let guilt spoil her happiness.

They had left Harm’s apartment briefly for a quick trip to Mac’s to pick up her uniform and toiletries, deciding to spend the night together at Harm’s.

They were currently sipping coffee in the kitchen, both in uniform.

“Mac, relax, nobody is going to know about us unless we tell them. There is nothing to worry about.”

“Easy for you to say Harm. I already have enough blackmarks on my record. The mess with Chris, my affair with John, the ethics mess with that report. God, I don’t need a fraternization charge on top of all that.”

“Mac, even if the Admiral suspects, I seriously doubt he would bring a fraternization charge against us. And I’m pretty sure he suspects after all of our discussions. I’m damn sure he knows how I feel.”

“Harm, you can’t know for sure what he’ll do.”

“Mac, quit worrying about everything. Whatever happens, we will face it together and we will come through it. Let’s just enjoy the day, OK?” She looked worriedly at him for a minute before breaking into the beautiful smile he loved to see.

“OK.”

They took separate cars to the office at her insistence, but still arrived together.

Walking in together, they passed Bud and Harriet at Harriet’s desk.

“Good morning Bud, Harriet. Beautiful day, isn’t it?”

They both looked at her, startled at the change in her. Then, in unison, they looked out the window at the cold gray November day, and looked back at her.

“Uh, yes ma’am.” Harriet managed to get out. Bud was completely tongue-tied.

“How’s little AJ? I haven’t seen him for ages. I miss the little guy.”

Harriet broke into a big grin. Her friend was back and she was glad to see her. “He’s fine Ma’am. He sure misses you though. Maybe you could come over soon and see him.”

“Love to Harriet. We’ll set up a time later. Gotta get to work!” With that Mac continued on to her office, pausing to smile at Harm.

“Good Morning Gunny!’ She greeted him in passing. Ever unflappable, he smiled and replied, “Good Morning Ma’am.” She continued on to her office.

Gunny looked at Harm, still with Bud and Harriet, came to attention sharply and saluted him. Then he grinned at him and turned and walked off before Harm could salute back.

“Sir, was that Colonel Mackenzie?” Bud finally managed to say something.

“Yeah Bud, Mac is back and better than ever.” He shot them a both a grin before continuing on to his own office.

They both smiled at his retreating back, and then grinned at each other. The office suddenly seemed a lighter, happier place, and they were both glad about it.

Later that morning-

Mac knocked at the Admiral’s door. She was very nervous, not sure how to go about this. She had not discussed it with Harm.

“Enter”, His gruff voice intimidated her a little, not for the first time. But she had always managed to overcome that, and she would now.

He looked up from his desk as she entered.

“Sir, may I speak with you a minute?”

“Of course Mac.” His eyes softened and he smiled at her, allowing just a little affection to show.

She fidgeted nervously in front of his desk. In all the years he had known her, through all the tough times, he had never seen her fidget.

“Permission to speak freely Sir?”

“Granted”

“Sir, I just wanted to say thank you.” She got this out in a rush. “I know you and Harm talked about how to – how to – well- help me. And I just wanted you to know that I appreciate your concern.”

She was blushing profusely while she said this, but she steadfastly gazed into his eyes.

He got up and walked around his desk so that he was standing in front of her.

“Mac, you are a fine officer and lawyer, and an even better friend. As your friend, and even as your CO, all I want is for you to be happy.” Unknowingly he repeated Harm’s words from Saturday.

She looked down, trying to hide the tears welling up. “I know that Sir. At least I do now. I just lost sight of it for a little while.”

“I’ve been alone along time too Mac. I understand how it feels. Being here at JAG has brought home what it’s like having a family. Just remember you DO have family now. Just let us help you, as you would help us if the situation was reversed.”

She just nodded, trying to avoid turning into a weepy mess again.

“Permission to hug the Colonel?

Startled, she looked up at him. He was smiling at her with a gentleness he rarely showed, although she knew it was a part of him.

Again she nodded, and felt herself enclosed in strong arms. She couldn’t stop herself from crying, although the tears were not sad this time. It just touched her that she finally felt a Father’s love and caring, something she had longed for her whole life, something she had only felt with Uncle Mat. She thought she had lost that forever.

The Admiral, for his part, was misty eyed himself. His own lonely heart made a little stronger by this open acknowledgment of affection. Francesca was very dear to him and he would do anything for her, but she was far away. And loving his daughter did not preclude loving other people, in fact, it nurtured it.

Finally he released her and stood away. “Just be happy Mac, that’s all I want for you.”

Her tear stained face touched him. “I will do my best to follow that order Sir.”

There was a moment of awkward silence, each not knowing how to end this emotional moment.

Finally falling back into the familiar, he told her, “That will be all Colonel.”

She came to attention. “Yes Sir”

Turning to the door, she suddenly stopped. “Sir, there is one more thing.”

“Yes Colonel?”

She didn’t want to hide anything from him. He had done so much for her, and deserved to know the truth, regardless of the consequences.

She turned back to face him. Focusing her eyes up and away from him she began, “Sir, there is something you should be aware of.” She paused, gathering her strength. She was afraid of the consequences.

“Continue Colonel.”

“Commander Rabb and I”-

“Share a special friendship. I am aware of this Colonel. Of course, if it ever progressed to a romantic relationship one of you would have to transfer, which I would hate to see happen. I expect you to inform me if such an event arises, but until then you don’t need to explain anything. Dismissed.”

“But Sir”-

Again he cut her off. “I said dismissed Colonel.” The words were sharp, but the tone was soft, understanding.

She met his eyes again, gratitude shining through hers.

“Aye Aye Sir. Thank you.”

She turned and left the office.

He sat back smiling, feeling better than he had in a long time.

JAG Headquarters
2 months later 1017 Local

The warmth of his mouth as he sucked her nipple made her shiver with passion. His lips worked their way up to her neck, gently nibbling the spot that made her squirm. She felt his hand slip inside her panties, caressing and teasing her. She couldn’t stand it, he had to-

“Colonel Mackenzie!” The Admiral’s voice interrupted her thoughts.

She looked up startled, blushing up to her hair.

“Yes Sir?” She had no idea what he had been saying.

He rolled his eyes and attempted to control his irritation with her inattention.

“I asked if you had anything further to add.”

Still blushing, and now flustered, her eyes met Harm’s grin across the table.

“N-No Sir.” How could she add anything? She didn’t know what was said in the first place!

“Then this meeting is over. Dismissed everyone.”

Mac got up quickly and rushed to her office before anyone could say anything to her. She was mortified with herself. She drifted off in the middle of a Staff Meeting about sex with Harm. She was really losing it.

Harm followed her into her office. “Thinking about something or someone Mac?” He grinned at her, having guessed the approximate venue of her thoughts.

“Harm, don’t start with me. I can’t believe that happened!”

“I don’t know Mac. I kinda like it. You having hot sexy thoughts about me.” This was said very smugly.

“I mean it Harm.” She sat at her desk and regarded him sternly.

He continued grinning, completely unrepentant.

“Why don’t you tell me what you were thinking about?”

“HARM!” She really was adorable when she was flustered he thought. He didn’t get to see her flustered very often.

“I have work to do Commander, and I suggest you go to your office and at least pretend to do yours before the Admiral finds something for you.”

At that he got up and started to leave. “Lunch later?”

“Sorry, can’t. I have an interview that will take most of the afternoon. See you tonight at home?”

They stayed together almost every night, taking turns at each other’s apartments. The only exceptions were when one or the other was traveling for work.

“Yours or mine?”

“Yours. You can fix dinner.” Now it was her turn to grin at him.

He gave a long-suffering sigh. “I always have to cook dinner.”

“That’s because you do it so well. If you fix a good dinner, maybe you’ll get a surprise later.” She winked at him suggestively.

“Mac, is that all you think about?”

“Are you complaining?”

“No, it’s all I think about too.” And with that he turned and left after leering at her.

Harm’s office 1145 Local

He was thinking about Mac. Again. She really was the best thing that had ever happened to him. He had never been this happy in a relationship. She knew him, warts and all, and still loved him. He never had to hide things from her, in fact sometimes she knew how he felt before he did.

He thought about an incident that happened last week. He had just hung up the phone after talking with his Mom and Frank. For some reason, he felt a little depressed after it. She had pointed out that he always felt that way after talking to Frank.

“Yeah, I know. I don’t know why though. He’s always nice.”

“Maybe you feel a little guilty.”

“About what?”

“Because you never gave him a chance to be your step-father. You never got to know him; he was always the guy that took your Dad’s place. He never had a place of his own in your heart, but he has always been there for you.”

He considered what she said.

“I guess. But it’s too late now, isn’t it?”

“Harm, it’s not too late. It’s only death that makes things too late. I doubt it would take much effort from you to make Frank realize you regret some things from your youth, and you’d like to make it up to him. I bet you he would be thrilled to know it. I only wish I had made that effort with my own Father before he died. But at least I got to forgive him and bring some peace to my life.”

He realized she was right. A few phone calls and a quick weekend trip to San Diego had gone a long way to establishing a real relationship with Frank. He could tell that Frank was touched by the effort, and his Mother was delighted with him as well. He only wished he had done it sooner.

Mac came in his office, breaking up his thoughts. “I’m off Harm. I should be back before you leave, but if I’m not I’ll see you at your place.”

“OK, I’ll be looking forward to it.”

She came up to him and whispered something in his ear, causing all the blood to rush to his groin area.

“Mac! That’s not fair! I have to work around here!”

She walked away teasingly. “Just wanted to make sure you were REALLY looking forward to it.”

Doctor’s Office
0230 Local

“Well Miss Mackenzie, your suspicion was correct. You are about 6 weeks along. Congratulations.”

“Thank you.” She was in a daze. She really hadn’t expected it to be true.

“Any morning sickness?”

“No, I actually never felt better.” Then she blushed. ‘I can’t believe I’m blushing again, but I have to ask.’

“Um- Doctor?”

“Yes?”

“This is an embarrassing question, but I have to ask.”

“Miss Mackenzie, I’m your doctor. You should not be afraid to ask me anything.”

“OK. Um-uh, is it possible that pregnancy causes a – well- uh- a heightened sexual drive?”

He looked at her and laughed, causing her to redden more.

“Yes it is quite possible. It is a common effect in fact. You will probably find you are more emotional as well.”

She couldn’t meet his eyes. “Thank you.”

“Any restrictions on work or travel?”

“Not yet. But you need to eat regularly and be sure and get enough rest. And be sure to listen to your body. If travel seems too much for you, it probably is. We will have to restrict it later in the pregnancy.”

“ I’ll need to see you back in a month. You can pick up your prescriptions and written instructions from the office on your way out. Congratulations again.”

She left the office, still in a daze.

She wondered what Harm would say. Would he be happy? Oh God, what if he didn’t want the baby! What if he didn’t want to be tied to her that permanently? She found herself tearing up in the car.

Stop it! Harm has never given you any reason to doubt him. You have to trust him.

I do trust him, but I don’t want him to be upset about this. What if he thinks I did it on purpose?

She drove around for a while, alternately torturing herself and comforting herself.

Finally she decided to just meet Harm at home. She would tell him tonight and let the chips fall where they may.

Harm’s Apartment North of Union Station Same Day 1825 Local

Harm juggled the grocery bags while struggling to unlock the door of his apartment. Finally getting the door open, he walked in, set the groceries on the counter, and turned on the light.

To his surprise, he found Mac asleep on the sofa. Walking over to her, he started to wake her up with a kiss when he noticed her tear-stained face.

Wondering what was wrong, he gently stroked her hair and called her softly. “Mac, wake up Baby. What’s wrong?”

Her eyes opened and she startled in surprise. “Oh Harm, I’m sorry, I must have fallen asleep. I didn’t mean to, honestly. I don’t know what’s wrong with me these days. Well, actually, I do, but” –

“Mac”, he cut her off. “Stop rambling and tell me what’s wrong.”

She gave a low laugh, surprising him again. “OK, just let me wash my face and wake up. And really nothing is wrong, at least, I hope nothing is wrong. I mean, it could be something is wrong, but I’m not really sure.”

“Mac!” He interrupted her again. “You are not making any sense. Just tell me what’s wrong!” He had never heard her ramble like this; it made him very nervous.

She gave a sigh. “I’m sorry, just give me a minute, OK?”

He nodded. “OK, but I want to know ASAP.”

She got up from the couch and disappeared into the bathroom, leaving him in a whirl of apprehension. What could have upset her like this? Last time he saw her she was fine. What was going on?

She came back in to the living room after a few minutes. He was sitting on the couch and gestured to her to come sit with him.

She sat a little ways away from him, scaring him. Did she want to break up? Oh God, his deepest fear was about to come true.

She took a deep breath, steeling herself for the discussion to come.

She scooted closer to him and took his hand. Looking into his eyes she began “Harm, you know I love you, right? And I would never do anything deliberately to hurt you?”

“Of course I do Mac. What is this about? Do you want to break it off? Is that what this is about?”

Aghast at his assumption she hastened to reassure him. “No Harm, I love you and don’t want to break it off! You are the best thing in my life, the best thing that ever happened to me. I’m just afraid that YOU might be angry at what I’m about to tell you, or even want to break it off yourself.”

Feeling better that she wasn’t breaking up; he was still concerned about her. “Nothing you could tell me would make want to break up Mac. My God, we just found each other! And you’re the best thing that could EVER happen to me.”

She reached up and touched his cheek, her eyes tearing up again. She choked back a sob.

She suddenly stopped and laughed. “GOD! I disgust myself! I am turning into a weepy sobbing mess all the time!”

He put his arms around her and pulled her close, kissing the top of her head. “You are not. There is something wrong and I need you to tell me what it is.”

She pulled away slightly looking up into his eyes again. She needed to see his reaction.

“OK, here it is. I’m pregnant.”

There was no reaction from Harm, other than stunned amazement. Then his eyes got wide and his mouth opened and closed a few times as he tried to take in her news.

“Uh – er- what? – um – How?” He broke off and tried again. “Are you sure?”

She withdrew from him a little. She had hoped for a better reaction.

“Am I sure I’m pregnant, or am I sure it’s yours?”

“MAC! Don’t put words in my mouth! I meant are you sure you’re pregnant?” He had to cut that line of thinking off before this degenerated into an awful fight.

“Yes, I’m sure. The Doctor confirmed it today. I’m about six weeks along.”

“Are you happy about it Sarah?” He wasn’t too sure how she felt; he didn’t want to make any more assumptions. They always got him into trouble with her.

Taking his hand again she met his gaze head on. She could handle confrontation, what she couldn’t handle was the waiting. Whatever he felt or wanted she would deal with it like the marine she was.

“Yes Harm, I am. I think you know how much I always wanted a child. I admit this is not how I thought the circumstances would be. There are a lot of complications- like work- and I certainly didn’t plan for it to happen now. I was on the pill you know. I would NEVER do this to you on purpose- please believe that.”

“It never occurred to me that you did it on purpose. I’m just stunned, I thought we would do this someday, when we were both ready for it, not now.”

“Are YOU happy about it Harm. Please be honest.”

There was a pause as he gathered his thoughts. She waited; holding her breath for his answer.

“Mac, I am stunned, excited, happy, worried, terrified, and stunned again, in that order.” He finally reached over and tugged her into his lap, kissing her softly.

She burst into tears.

“Mac? What’s wrong now? Are you mad at me?” He cuddled her close, trying to soothe her.

“No, I’m not mad.” She said between sobs. “I’m just so happy!’ And then she sobbed harder into his chest.

He started laughing. “You have a strange way of showing it.”

Finally she pulled herself together and gave a watery laugh with him. “I guess the doctor was right. He said I would probably be a little emotional.”

“What else did the doctor say? Are you allright? Do you need anything? What do we need to do? Should you stop working? Do you feel sick or anything? I wish you had told me sooner so I could have gone with you!”

“Stop Harm. I’m perfectly fine and healthy. I don’t need anything, and there is nothing we need to do. I have some prenatal vitamins to take; I need to eat regularly and get plenty of rest is all. I don’t feel sick, and I wish I had told you sooner too.”

She paused, and then gazed up at him with a sultry, sexy expression.

“Actually, the doctor did mention something you could help me with.”

“What is it?” He missed her look in his concern for her.

“Pregnancy actually brings a higher sex drive.” She slipped her hand up under his shirt, caressing his chest while waiting for his reaction.

Stunned again, he just looked at her. “Should you even be thinking about that now? I mean, with the pregnancy and all.” He looked a little nervous.

Not waiting for any more objections from him, she pulled his head down to her for a long, deep, passionate kiss.

He tried to pull away for a second, still concerned for her, then gave himself up completely to the kiss.

He fumbled for the buttons on her uniform blouse, finally getting it open. He felt for the clasp of her bra, it was in the front. He unhooked it, and covered her breast with his hand, slowly massaging.

She moaned deep in her throat as he continued to caress her breast, rolling the nipple into a hardened peak before beginning on the other one. They continued to kiss passionately as she rubbed herself against his lap, feeling his hardened erection through his pants bringing answering growls of passion from him.

Finally she let her head fall back as his lips trailed down her neck, nibbling and kissing, causing her to shiver.

He settled his mouth on her nipple, sucking it hard for a minute before biting it gently and swirling his tongue around it. Oh God, he was so good at this!

She felt his hand reach under her skirt and slip into her panties. She had removed her shoes and panty hose when she got home earlier. He began to play with her nub, gently rubbing in a circular motion before he sliding his finger into her wet center, plunging into her and withdrawing, simulating the act she knew would follow.

It took all her strength to interrupt him, but she couldn’t touch him while sitting in his lap. She stood up, pulling him along with her. He followed eagerly. She rubbed her hand against his erection, his pants still between them while she initiated another deep kiss. Both of them were moaning breathlessly.

She managed to get his pants undone and reached into his boxers to grasp him, running her fingers lightly up and down the throbbing shaft. She didn’t bother to push his pants all the way down.

“Mac, I can’t wait. I need you now.”

“I know flyboy. I can’t wait either.”

She stepped back and pulled off her panties.

He picked her up and she wrapped her legs around him. He made it to the island in the kitchen, setting her down there, still kissing passionately.

Once he set her down, he pulled his hips back, took his penis and rubbed it against her opening, teasing her.

“Please Harm, I have to have you inside me. NOW!”

He could not resist her urging, and pushed himself inside her with one forceful lunge.

She cried his name out and clutched him as he entered, thrusting against him uncontrollably.

She came hard with just a few hard plunges into her, calling his name out repeatedly, interspersed with Oh God.

He was not far behind, calling on the Almighty himself a few times.

They were both breathing hard and holding on to each other. After a few minutes, he didn’t think he could stand anymore. He helped her down and they staggered together to the couch and collapsed on it.

She started giggling. “That’s the sort of thing that got me in trouble at the Staff Meeting this morning.”

He laughed with her for a minute. “Well, you’re going to get me in trouble at the rate your going, if you don’t stop whispering things in my ear at work.”

She stopped smiling after a minute. “About work” –

He interrupted her before she could finish.

“Sarah, I know we have to face that. But we will face it together. Let’s just enjoy tonight, and talk about that tomorrow, OK? I think we deserve a little time to enjoy this before we have to worry about problems from the outside. Trust me, we’ll handle everything together, just like we always do.”

Not really wanting to face any more emotional turmoil, she agreed with him. “OK, but you still have to fix dinner.”

He smiled and kissed her tenderly. “It will be my pleasure. I finally have a good excuse to spoil you.”

“You always spoil me Harm.”

“You never let me. You always give me that ‘I’m a marine’ speech.”

She hit him on the arm. “I do not!”

“Yes you do.”

She grinned at him. “Well, I’ll let you spoil me tonight.”

They enjoyed the rest of their evening together talking about names and babies and all the things newly expectant parents talk about.

On the way to JAG
One Week Later 0945

Harm was driving to JAG after meeting a client. His thoughts drifted away to Mac, as they often did. He smiled to himself. He was very happy and excited about the pregnancy.

In fact, he almost couldn’t wait for the birth. He kept seeing a little girl, the image of her Mother. The big brown eyes, the strong will (temper). He knew Mac thought he wanted a boy, but he really wanted a little girl to spoil. He wanted to give her all the things he knew Mac didn’t have growing up. In some way, it would make up for all the things Mac had to deal with as a child.

He frowned slightly as he drove. They still hadn’t told anyone. They just couldn’t figure out the best way to do it. And they were both very nervous about how the Admiral would take it. Plus, Harm thought, he was sure to get the “talk” from the Admiral. Not that he didn’t want to marry Mac; he wanted to very much. There was just too much facing them about work to deal with that issue right now.

Again his thoughts centered on Mac. He laughed out loud as he thought about her and how she was dealing with this pregnancy. He had come home last night and found her sobbing on the couch again. Instantly concerned and overprotective he had rushed to her side and demanded to know what was wrong.

At first she refused to answer him, but he insisted. Finally, after much pleading, she gave in and told him.

“I was watching television waiting for you to come home.”

“And?”

“Well, this commercial came on. And it was so sweet- about a mother talking to her child. I just couldn’t help it.”

Astonished, he had to ask, “You were crying over a commercial?” And then he burst into laughter.

At first she had glared at him, and then finally gave in and started laughing too. The two of them were practically hysterical at the thought of the tough marine crying over a TV ad.

He pulled into the JAG parking lot, still smiling. She really had gotten very emotional lately. She kept bursting into tears at the oddest moments, but that one had been the funniest.

He got out of the car after parking and headed for the door. Once inside he hit the elevator button and waited for it to arrive, still in a very good mood.

Gunny came and stood beside him. “Morning Gunny. It’s a great day, isn’t it?”

The Gunny did not return his smile. “I wouldn’t know about that Sir.”

Startled at the chilly reception, Harm didn’t reply.

The elevator opened and both men stepped inside.

“Something wrong Gunny?”

Gunny shot him a distinctly hostile glare briefly. “I wouldn’t know about that either Sir.”

Nothing in what he said indicated any disrespect, even his attitude was correct, but he managed to convey his deep dissatisfaction with Harm.

The elevator opened and Harm was glad to escape. He wasn’t sure why the Gunny was irritated, but he was sure sooner or later he would find out.

The scene that greeted his eyes as he stepped out astonished him. The entire bullpen was staring into Colonel Mackenzie’s closed office. The only sound that could be heard was her crying heartbrokenly.

As one, the entire office shifted their attention to him. Accusing eyes met him from every direction, even Harriet.

Finally spotting Bud, he hurried over, conscious of everyone’s scrutiny. As he reached Bud, he gave the office a sweeping glare, forcing everyone back to work. Attention shifted from him at last, but he was still aware of the sidelong glances of hostility from his co-workers.

“Bud, what happened?”

“I don’t know Sir.” Even Bud’s tone was cold.

“Bud, give me some information please. I don’t know what’s going on.”

Bud relented. “We were standing outside her office discussing the Mallory case. She suddenly got choked up, said excuse me, and rushed into her office, and slammed the door in my face. Then she burst into tears. No one has had the courage to go in there.”

“OK Bud, I’ll handle it.”

The buzz of voices had resumed while he was talking to Bud. It died down again when he went to Mac’s office, knocked lightly on the door, and entered without waiting for permission.

He had an idea what was wrong. The Mallory case involved a Marine Colonel that was accused of treason. It probably brought back her Uncle Mat.

He closed the door behind him.

“Mac, are you all right?”

She looked up at him, the tears falling freely. “Oh God, Harm. This is so embarrassing. I just can’t seem to control myself. It’s awful!”

Slightly relieved, he went over to her and pulled her to her feet and put his arm around her. “Mac, you’ve got to stop crying, or I am going to be lynched!”

“What are you talking about?”

He gave her a smile, which she returned through her tears. “The entire office thinks it’s my fault you’re crying. PLEASE stop before the Gunny uses me for target practice.”

She started to laugh. “Oh come on, you’re just trying to make me laugh.”

“No, I’m serious. Look outside your window.”

She looked out and saw several heads suddenly bend down studiously over desks.

Before she could reply, the phone rang.

“Mackenzie.”

“Ma’am, the Admiral would like to see Commander Rabb right away.” It was Tiner.

“I’ll tell him Tiner. Thank you.”

“Thank you Ma’am.”

She hung up and looked at Harm. “It looks like the lynching will have to wait. The Admiral wants to see you right now.”

“OK, you all right now?”

She laughed. “Go on. I’ll go make up some excuse and talk to Harriet. You’ll be out of the doghouse by the time you come out of the Admiral’s office.”

She followed him out, stopping at Harriet’s desk.

Looking back, he saw her laugh, and the atmosphere in the office lightened considerably. He gave a sigh of relief.

Admiral Chegwidden’s office

“You wanted to see me Sir?”

“I did Commander.”

He left Harm standing at attention, saying nothing more.

The silence seemed long to Harm.

The Admiral finally got up and walked around his desk, circling Harm.

Harm waited nervously.

“It has come to my attention that a certain Marine Lieutenant Colonel was very upset this morning.”

Harm said nothing, dreading what was coming.

“Now this is very unusual behavior for this Marine Lieutenant Colonel. Do you know what I am talking about Commander?”

“I believe so Sir.”

“Care to explain it to me?”

“I would Sir. But I wish you would give us a little time first.”

“At ease Commander.”

Harm finally could relax his stance.

The Admiral was silent again, considering Harm’s words. He had a feeling that something more was going on and he wanted to get to the bottom of it. On the other hand, he didn’t want to precipitate anything rash. He decided to give them a little time.

“I think that maybe this conversation should take place later. Why don’t you and the Colonel come to my house this evening around 1900?”

“Thank you Sir. We would be honored.”

“Dismissed Commander.”

“Aye Aye Sir.”

Harm made his escape and went to inform Mac. The time had come to tell the Admiral everything. He just hoped they could work it all out.

Admiral Chegwidden’s Home 1900 Local

Harm and Mac stood nervously at the door, waiting for the Admiral to answer. He seemed to take a long time to come to the door.

They had discussed it and decided to tell the Admiral everything and throw themselves on his mercy. They would do whatever he suggested- transfer out, resign, or just stay and be prosecuted for fraternization. It really was up to him. They trusted him implicitly, but they were still nervous.

The Admiral finally opened the door. He was dressed in civvies, as were Harm and Mac.

“Come in. Glad you could make it.” He greeted them with a smile and ushered them in.

“Thank you Sir.” They were a little startled by his informality.

“I would like this discussion to be between friends, not as your CO. Please call me AJ tonight.”

He was subtly reminding Harm of the last time he had been here, hoping to relax them.

He took their coats and seated them by the fireplace, which had a fire burning.

“Would you like something to drink?”

“No thank you Sir- AJ.” Harm replied for them both. Mac’s hands were trembling slightly from nerves, and he unthinkingly covered one with his own, squeezing her fingers lightly to convey comfort before releasing it.

AJ noticed the gesture and smiled inwardly. He had known of their relationship of course. Hell, the whole office was aware of it even though Harm and Mac had conducted themselves with professionalism in the office. The only lapse had been the one today, unless you counted the “daydreaming incident” as he termed it in his mind.

“I think you know why I asked you here tonight.”

“Yes Sir”, they replied together.

“I think I said to call me AJ.”

They both smiled nervously, but said nothing in reply.

AJ considered his next words carefully.

“I have suspected that your relationship changed recently. I chose to look the other way as long as your work didn’t change and nothing was affected by it at the office.” He smiled gently at Mac, remembering her attempt to tell him previously.

“I think you know that JAG and all the people that work there are important to me. I like to think of you all as extended family.”

Harm looked surprised at the Admiral’s statement. Not that he didn’t know the Admiral felt this way, he was just unused to the Admiral voicing the sentiment so boldly.

Mac didn’t look surprised at all. She remembered how caring the Admiral had been when she had thanked him for helping her. She felt some of her nervousness leave her.

“But I can’t ignore it now. I expected better of you both. I don’t know what precipitated the scene in the office today and it doesn’t really matter. You know I cannot allow that type of behavior to go on. You have literally forced my hand.” He let some of the anger and disappointment he felt show through. He knew that at some point he would have to acknowledge their relationship, but he had hoped for more time. He didn’t want to lose either one of them.

“Sir, I can explain” – Harm began. Mac laid her hand gently on his arm to stop him.

“AJ I apologize for that display today. Please believe me, we had no intention of bringing personal issues into the office. Unfortunately, this issue cannot be ignored or left at home. I know that everyone thought Harm did something to upset me, but that was not the case. Harm had nothing to do with it.” She turned and smiled at Harm softly. “Well actually he did have something to do with it, but not in the way everyone thought.”

She paused, taking a deep breath before continuing.

“Go on Colonel.” Clearly AJ had misinterpreted the situation this morning. He felt relieved, but was still concerned.

She met his gaze with her own. She knew the only way to proceed was to blurt it out, but it was difficult.

“I discovered a few days ago that I have a condition that leaves me prone to emotional outbursts. I’m pregnant.” She held her breath while she waited for his reaction.

Before he could stop himself a big smile broke out on his face. “That’s wonderful Mac! Congratulations! I’m so happy for you both!”

He stood up, as did they in response. He shook Harm’s hand with a big grin. Turning to Mac he hugged her gently.

As if on cue, tears welled up and she choked back a sob.

A little surprised, he released her. “Mac?”

“I’m sorry Sir, but this happens all the time- it’s so embarrassing! Excuse me please.” She turned and hurried into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. Muffled crying could be heard.

AJ turned to Harm with a questioning look.

“She does that all the time now Sir. It’s a little hard to get used to, but it doesn’t panic me like it did at first.” He grinned at AJ.

AJ smiled back. Then his grin faltered as the seriousness of the situation hit him.

“Sit down Harm.”

Harm noted the change in his demeanor and took his seat.

“While this is wonderful news, I’m sure you are aware of the possible ramifications professionally. It is a serious matter. Worst case scenario- you both are charged with Fraternization and dishonorably discharged with loss of pay and benefits, probably no brig time. Best case scenario- one of you transfers out quickly- it probably should be you as Mac’s pregnancy would hinder her transfer – and the whole thing is ignored.”

“AJ, we will do whatever you advise. You have been much more than a CO to both of us.”

Mac voiced this as she rejoined them and took her seat. The tears were still evident from her eyes, but her voice was calm and strong.

Harm took her hand in both of his, then reached up and caressed her cheek gently. “You OK now?”

She nodded and smiled at him. “Yes, sorry about that.”

The Admiral cleared his throat, drawing their attention back to him.

“How this is handled is really up to me, but my actions will be scrutinized by the SecNav closely. Being so high profile with him has its rewards, but it also has its pitfalls. If he does not approve of my actions, he could take matters into his own hands. I would like to avoid that at all costs. It would not be pleasant for any of us.”

No one said anything for a moment.

Finally Harm spoke up. “AJ, we were both aware of the possible consequences of this relationship. Frankly, at the time, I thought we would be able to deal with them, as did Mac. Now that Payup time is here, I still feel the same way. I love Mac, and can’t regret anything that has happened since we began together, especially not this pregnancy. We will make it through together, whatever happens.

I know I speak for Mac as well as myself when I say that we both appreciate everything you have done for us over the years. You really have been much more than a friend or CO. Nothing that comes from this can change that. You do whatever you have to do, just know that we also consider JAG as family, and that especially includes you as the head of JAG.”

Harm was a little embarrassed speaking so sentimentally about JAG and the Admiral, but he felt everything he said very strongly.

AJ cleared his throat again, touched by Harm’s words.

Tears welled up in Mac’s eyes again. “Damn it! This has got to stop!” She wiped her eyes again.

They all laughed, grateful for the release of tension.

“I have a meeting with the SecNav tomorrow at 1000 hours. I think it is best if I discuss this with him first before taking any action or advising you. I will let you know the outcome of the meeting. Until then, I suggest you take Mac home Harm, and let her get some rest. It’s been an emotional day for her.”

He smiled at Mac again, teasing her.

They both thanked him and rose to leave. AJ retrieved their coats.

As they stood at the door putting on their coats Harm reached out and shook AJ’s hand. “Thank you for everything AJ.”

Mac took his hand also, but reached up and kissed him on the cheek. “Yes, thank you AJ.”

Again he was touched by their gestures. He covered it by saying gruffly, “Just go home you two. I will talk with you tomorrow.”

He closed the door behind them and leaned his head against it. It was going to be a tough meeting with the SecNav. He was NOT looking forward to it.

The SecNav’s Office 1045 Local

“That will be all AJ.” The SecNav dismissed him as their business was concluded.

The SecNav was seated at his desk. The Admiral and Commander Lindsay were seated across from him.

“Sir, I have something else I need to discuss with you. Privately.”

The SecNav gave a nod to Lindsay, who rose and left without comment.

The SecNav eyed him suspiciously. “What is it?”

The Admiral knew very well that the SecNav did not hold him in high favor, especially after he did not back Commander Lindsey at the promotion board. This had to be handled very carefully.

“A situation has arisen at JAG Sir.”

“Well? Get to it AJ, my time is valuable.” As usual, the SecNav did not bother being polite.

“It seems that Commander Rabb and Colonel Mackenzie wish to pursue a personal relationship.” He had decided that he didn’t need to reveal the pregnancy just yet. He would deal with the fallout from that later if necessary.

The SecNav stared at him, then his gimlet eyes started to smile, and not in a pleasant way.

“Oh really?”

“Given that you are very familiar with them Sir, I decided to ask your advice on proceeding before making any decision regarding this.”

The SecNav gave him a surprised look. He had figured sooner or later that Rabb and Mackenzie would get together, any idiot could see that, but had not expected this from AJ.

“My advice? Why? It’s perfectly clear what has to be done. If there is any indication of an improper relationship charge them with Fraternization. If not, transfer one out of your command. What’s the big deal?”

Of course the SecNav knew what the big deal was. AJ would never charge them with fraternization, and didn’t want to transfer either one of them out. He smiled to himself while waiting for AJ’s response, anticipating AJ’s begging for a favor

The Admiral took a deep breath. He knew what the SecNav was waiting for, he just hoped his strategy would work.

“As you are aware Sir, Colonel Mackenzie is my Chief of Staff, and Commander Rabb has been a valuable senior attorney and investigator for a number of years. I would hate to lose either one of them.” AJ deliberately ignored the mention of fraternization charges.

The SecNav rolled his eyes at the mention of Commander Rabb as being valuable. Rabb had annoyed him on several occasions. Mackenzie was not high on his list of favorites either.

“You know the rules AJ, better than I do. If they want to pursue this then a transfer is the only way. I just hope they wait for the transfer. Fraternization is a serious charge.” He wanted to make AJ squirm.

AJ did not squirm. He knew how the game was played. Last night he had hatched a plan, and was determined to give it a go. It was risky, and could backfire, but if it worked everyone would be happy.

“Actually Sir, Commander Rabb has indicated that he would be amenable to transfer.” He paused for a minute to let that sink in. “He had suggested he might be of use to your office.”

The SecNav actually gaped at him.

“HE WHAT?!”

“Well Sir, he is a great admirer of yours, and appreciates all you did when he changed his designator. He thought that by offering his services to you he might be able to repay you in some small way.” The Admiral kept a straight face as he said this, but it was very difficult.

The SecNav recovered his aplomb. He wondered what AJ was up to. AJ had to know he would never agree to “Harmful Rabb” being assigned to his office.

“AJ, I am surprised by your statements. Rabb never struck me as an admirer of mine.” He was buying time to think.

“Oh he is Sir. He just doesn’t like to give the appearance of currying favor.” This was a subtle dig at Lindsay who was known to curry favor quite openly.

The SecNav merely sneered at him.

“Of course Sir, I realize you don’t need another attorney here. Commander Rabb could continue with his duties at JAG unless you required his services. I’m sure Commander Lindsay does a fine job for you and has no need of Commander Rabb’s assistance.”

The SecNav finally decided to lay his cards out for the Admiral to see.

“As I recall AJ, I once asked you for a favor concerning Lindsay. One that you were apparently unable to fulfill. This does not exactly make me open to doing a favor for you.”

The Admiral had known this would come up. He prepared himself to eat crow.

“I understand that Mr. SecNav. That was a failure on my part. Of course I would rectify that if I could.”

“But you can’t, can you?”

“Actually Sir, I know that Colonel Mackenzie has an extended leave coming up in six months for family reasons.” This was really dangerous, he was revealing he knew about the pregnancy and did not reveal it to the SecNav. “When she goes, I will need a replacement to act as Chief of Staff until she returns. Commander Lindsay has indicated on numerous occasions that he desired to be more active at JAG, and with his valuable experience I think he would be a great help.”

He decided to lay his cards on the table too. “When the Promotion Board meets again next year, I would be able to recommend Commander Lindsay and back him all the way, as I am sure he would do an excellent job as Chief of Staff.”

He knew he was selling out, but experience had taught him that sometimes you had to give in to get what you wanted. It galled him, because he thought Ted Lindsay was an ass, but he would do it to help his people and get what he wanted. Politics were a dirty game, but he had gotten his hands dirty before.

There was a long pause as the SecNav considered AJ’s offer.

Finally he looked AJ in the eye. “If I do this, I will consider you owe me more than a favor.” He wanted to let AJ know that he expected complete cooperation from him from now on.

AJ looked him straight in the eye too. “As always Sir. Anything I can do to assist you is my pleasure.” He was letting the SecNav know he understood.

The SecNav finally agreed. He was getting everything he wanted. He could afford to be magnanimous.

“All Right AJ. Draw up the papers and work out the details with Commander Lindsay. There’s nothing else, is there?

“No Sir. Thank you for your assistance and advice in this matter Sir.”

The Admiral rose and started to leave.

“AJ, do these two really mean that much to you?” The SecNav really couldn’t believe it.

“They are fine officers and friends Sir. I value them both highly.”

The Admiral finally escaped to his car.

Once there, he took out his handkerchief and wiped his face. “Whew! That was a tough one!” Then he started to laugh. “HOO-RAH!”

He headed back to JAG to share the results of his meeting with Mac and Harm.

3/4

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