Chapter 16

Pentagon
Three weeks later
June 2002

Harm plopped his briefcase on the desk. Sitting heavily in his chair, he rubbed his tired eyes. The flight from CENTCOM wasn’t a long one, but the meetings the last couple of days had left him exhausted.

Things in Afghanistan were not moving along at the pace the military had originally hoped for. The incident of Al-Qaeda uprisings seemed to be escalating, not decreasing, and the growing accounts of collateral damage were not looking good.

Sifting through the stack of messages on his desk, Harm was startled to come across one from the SecNav’s office. He was even more startled to discover his presence was required at a meeting this afternoon, at, of all places, JAG HQ.

JAG HQ
1430 hours
Conference Room

“As you already know, Mustafa Atef’s untimely death has put this country in a precarious position with his brother Kabir’s whereabouts and intentions still unknown. We do however believe he is in league with Russian naval extremists.” The SecNav took a long sip of water, his eyes scanning past AJ and Mac, settling on Harm.

“It’s my understanding you were present for last night’s blunder in the search for Kabir?” he huffed.

“Yes, sir. I was at CENTCOM when the news came across that the wrong truck had been targeted, killing what appeared to be a local family instead of Kabir,” Harm contributed.

“That’s exactly why I’m creating a new ‘think tank’,” the SecNav told AJ. “JAG will take point on this.” He turned to Harm, “COMNAVAIR wants someone from their staff on this. You’re it Rabb.” Turning back to Chegwidden, he continued. “I need you to tell me where the Navy is vulnerable to Kabir, and then show me how to stop him. I want Rabb and MacKenzie in Afghanistan right away.”

“Aye, sir,” the three voices echoed.

“Officially you’ll be representing your designated offices on the investigation into this recent mishap and the civilian casualties. Unofficially, you’re to find out what Kabir is up to.”

“Why not be open and above board, sir?” Mac asked casually.

“The Navy and CIA don’t play open and above well, Colonel. They don’t trust each other.”

“Sir, two senior married officers on the same investigation is going to raise flags,” Harm volunteered.

The SecNav stood up rather gruffly. “I trust you can lower them, Commander. Good luck.”

In a split second, the door swung shut behind the SecNav, whisking the odd air of tension that had hung in the room out the door with him.

“It’s none of my business, but are you two going to be okay with this?” AJ crossed his arms.

“Yes, sir.” Neither hesitated.

“Very well. Just be careful.” AJ nodded his head at what had once been his best team of investigators, and left for his office. He had a think tank to put together.

Base Camp
Somewhere in Afghanistan

As Mac lay back, the evening chill only made her miss her husband sleeping beside her all the more. So far no one had dared to question their status on this mission. Of course, it probably helped that she had kept her maiden name for military purposes, but she’d only be fooling herself if she believed there was anyone at camp who didn’t know she and Harm were married.

Maintaining the strictest of protocol had come easily the last several days. It was the long nights that were the most difficult, knowing Harm was so close yet not accessible. Add the knowledge that a precious bundle of joy was dependent on her at home, and the thought of going out in a blaze of glory like Butch and Sundance, regardless of how noble the cause at stake was, just didn’t seem like such an exhilarating idea anymore.

There were moments when everything seemed to be re-living itself identically to the way it had before. When Mac and Harm spoke with Gunny about Fareesa, she was surprised to hear the lilt in his voice. She had expected his relationship with Renee to have affected the current future, but the dialogue was almost exactly the same.

“And for the record, sir, Fareesa would never betray me,” Gunny announced in a huff.

“Yup, he’s in love with her,” Mac sighed in Harm’s direction. “I thought he was all hot and heavy with the Video Princess.”

“Video Princess?” Harm’s face contorted curiously.

“You know, the blonde with the ruffles.” Mac started walking towards the humvee.

“I didn’t think you knew her that well.” Harm couldn’t quite make out why Mac seemed so negative about someone she hardly knew.

“I don’t. Do you know what happened?”

“Last I heard, it had something to do with a mortician. As far as Gunny was concerned, the relationship was all in good fun, but not the permanent kind that the blonde wanted.”

Mac swallowed the smile of satisfaction she felt at Harm’s failure to even remember Renee’s name. “Well, I suppose at least this way she gets a discount on makeup.”

“MAC.” What had gotten into her?

“Come on, we’ve got more villagers to question.”

And so the rest of the trip continued as she remembered. Right down to the little chat about how Afghanistan was ‘man’ country and the only problem would be that it was run by men. And of course, joking over would she and Harm run out of money paying tolls before the new government took hold.

To her dismay, as with the prison camp not long ago, fate had to rear its ugly head. She made every effort to avoid the goats and the antipersonnel mines. She even thought she’d succeeded when she cleared the original location of the mine mishap, but there was something about this incident that fate would not let her escape. Just a few feet down the road from the original explosion, the humvee veered off, the tires exploding beneath them, sending Harm flying into yet another mine field.

Mac felt the same horror she had the first time she lived through it, only this time she had long ago admitted the man on the ground was the man she loved, and now they had a child at home waiting for his mom and dad to come home. Being in a different spot from the original blast, she wasn’t even sure she could trust the outcome. What was it fate had in mind for her? What was she supposed to understand about choices and opportunities?

“Harm, don’t move!” Mac stared at his still form in horror. Please God, no. “You’re in a mine field; those were antipersonnel mines we just went through.”

Her words tumbled forth. Somewhere in the back of her mind, most of them sounded familiar, but all she could think about was being in the moment, not the moment that had been. The fresh memories sent shivers down her spine.

“Great.” Harm shook his head lightly.

“Look at the ground around you. Do you see anything?”

“Stars.”

“Stars. Are you okay?” Heaven help her, this all sounded so familiar.

“Yeah, I think I’m okay.” Glancing around him, he frowned. “Look, isn’t the idea to bury mines so you don’t see them?”

“Well, sometimes there’s a little depression or a small pile.” Please God, make it obvious this time where they are.

“Well, which is it? A depression or a pile?” Harm could kick himself. How had he gotten himself into this mess?

“Depends on how long ago it was buried.”

“I’m going to stand up.” Lying here all day certainly wasn’t going to get them home safely.

“Just do it in place.” Thoughts of her young son cradled in her arms as the Admiral handed her a folded flag flashed uninvited through her mind.

“That right rear tire is shredded.” Now that he was sitting up, the situation wasn’t looking any better.

Already knowing what she’d find, Mac flew to the other side of the humvee to look. “So is the left front.”

“Look, maybe the mines we hit were the only ones here.” Harm stood up carefully.

“What are the odds of that?” Mac snapped. It was happening all over.

“Kind of long.”

“No, not kind of long. Very long. Incredibly long. Astronomically long. The odds of winning the lottery are greater than…”

“Okay, Mac. I get the point.” She was right, but he couldn’t stand here all night.

Mac surprised herself when she found herself tempted once again to start the engine. That much she could control. Obviously Harm wasn’t in the protection of a humvee so driving closer wasn’t an option. But, Lord there had to be a better way out. If she could only think.

“I’ve got an idea,” Harm said thoughtfully.

A surge of hope rushed through Mac’s system. Harm hadn’t asked for the canteen. Maybe this would be different, maybe, like Jen and the bracelet, the entire nasty incident could still be avoided.

“What?”

“You take cover on the other side of the humvee. I’m going to walk over to you.”

Crap. “That’s not an idea that’s Afghan Roulette.” She meant it when she said it then and she meant it now. “You can’t take a chance like that, Harm. Think of Mat.”

“Mac, I can’t stand here all night like a statue when there’s probably nothing between me and that humvee but dirt.” Harm said a short prayer that he was right.

“Harm, be practical. It’s not like we can go anywhere on the rims.” Maybe this time he would listen to reason.

“The first step is the hardest.” Harm looked down slowly.

“Please, Harm. Don’t.”

Harm set his foot carefully in front of him. So far so good. Glancing up at Mac a moment, he smiled reassuringly as he set his other foot in front.

Barely smiling, Mac could hardly breathe trying to remember how many steps Harm had taken last time. Was it two or three?

Taking another step, he was almost there. He looked up at Mac again, this time her smile slightly more sincere.

Thank God, three steps. Mac grinned back at him with a nervous chuckle.

Another step, and both froze at the loud click.

“Did you hear that?” Harm asked weakly.

“Uh huh,” was all she could bring herself to say. “I guess we’re lucky.”

“You guess? Why? I didn’t just step on a mine?”

“No. You stepped on a mine. It’s just not pressure detonated like the others. It’s probably a Soviet butterfly mine.”

“So what does that mean? It won’t detonate until I take my foot off of it?”

“Right.”

“How does that make us lucky?”

“You’re still alive! Your son hasn’t lost his father yet, has he?” A cold wash of fear covered her. It would be okay. She would do the same thing as last time. It would work. It had to.

“Not unless I move my foot.” How could Harm have done this? He’d promised Mat he would never do to him what his Dad had done. That he would be there for Mat’s ball games, graduation, his wedding, and the birth of his children.

Taking a quick look around, Harm’s eyes turned back to Mac. “The slope probably isn’t mined. You go up that way. On the far side of the mountain is base camp. Bring back help.”

That dumb idea again. Maybe this really was to be exactly the same. “No. I wouldn’t get there till morning and you’re not going to stand there all night in the freezing cold.” She needed to get this over with.

“This is what we’re going to do. We replace your weight with something heavy like this ammo box.”

“That ammo box doesn’t weigh anything near what I do.”

“It doesn’t have to. It just has to delay the mine until you can get to the other side of the humvee.”

“It’s too heavy for you to hand to me.” Harm’s heart almost leapt out of his throat when he saw Mac land heavily on the ground with the ammo box in hand. “MAC! You could have killed us.”

“But I didn’t.” She had to believe things would work out as well this time around as they had before. After all, fate wouldn’t have brought them this far only to take him away now. Even if all of this was merely a dream, she wasn’t prepared to wake up yet.

“Okay, I’m going to put my foot on the ammo box,” Mac continued. “I’ll slide it forward, and you slide your foot back.” Grunting, she pushed the box towards Harm.

“Okay, I’ve got it. Take cover,” Harm practically ordered.

“What?” How could she have forgotten this part? “Why do you have to be so macho, again?”

“What do you mean again? Never mind, can I get over the humvee faster from up here than you can from down there?”

“Probably.” Why did she bother arguing with him?

“Then, I’m not being macho, I’m being practical.”

“You know, sometimes you can be infuriating.”

“I know,” Harm smiled broadly, “That’s why you married me. Now go.”

“I love you.” Mac practically whispered. She couldn’t shake the fear that somehow all this was about to end.

And then, with the same athletic vault he’d performed all those years ago, Harm was over the humvee and wrapped around her. Just as upset this time to discover the idea came from the movies as he had been the first time she explained it back in her world. Only this time it had earned her a rather wet, sloppy, kiss when he finally caught up with her. After all, there wasn’t much chance of being caught breaking regs in the middle of the Afghan desert.

Chapter 17

Mac struggled with the heat, and the circumstances. Surviving a minefield the first time had been bad enough. No one should have to face that sort of fear twice in a lifetime.

“Ma’am,” a young voice called from outside the tent.

“Come in, Corporal.”

“Your call to the States just went through, ma’am.” The young corporal popped his head inside her doorway.

“I’m on my way. Thank you, Corporal.”

Mac had her boots on in no time, and hurried across the compound with an unusual amount of agility for someone as worn out as she had been only a few minutes ago.

Picking up the headset, “Hello,” Mac called out in a loud voice. “Oh, Harriet, it’s good to hear your voice. How’s the baby?”

Mac had been fighting the huge ache in her heart since she’d left him behind for this assignment. Now after back to back mishaps, her nerves and hormones were shot. She missed her baby.

“He’s fine Colonel, but you had all of us worried sick when we were told that you’d lost contact with base camp and had been unaccounted for. It didn’t help any when Singer gloated how you’d been missing for hours, in the cold and dark.” Harriet’s blood boiled again just thinking about that witch.

“Singer?”

“Don’t worry, Colonel. She learned her lesson.”

Mac could almost hear Harriet’s smile of satisfaction through the phone lines. She’d have to find out exactly what Harriet had done to Singer when she got home. Meanwhile, just hearing Harriet’s voice had made Mac feel much better. It wasn’t like she could talk to her son, but somehow knowing she was talking to the woman caring for him made Mac feel closer to him.

“Is Mat being a good boy?”

“He’s a perfect angel,” Harriet replied honestly. There was nothing she enjoyed more than having a small baby in the house.

“Thanks, Harriet. I wish I could talk longer, but I have to go.”

“Understood. Bye, ma’am. You and the Commander be careful.”

“We will. Good bye.” Mac reluctantly hung up the phone. ‘Be careful.’ That was easier said than done. Not only couldn’t she avoid mine fields, apparently she couldn’t avoid air strikes either. An icy chill ran through her veins just thinking about the events of the previous night.

“You know, if you want, I could call the front desk and see if housekeeping can send up another pillow.” Harm watched Mac beating her knapsack senseless. “What are you doing all the way over there?”

“Giving you some space. I mean, in case someone finds us.”

“How much space do I need? You know, Mac, the temperatures are going to continue to drop. The Navy can’t complain if they find us together. If we don’t share body heat we’ll risk hypothermia.”

“Gee, you make it sound so inviting.” Mac raised her brow slightly. Even married, he still had to make this difficult.

“You want an invitation?”

“Yes.”

“Why don’t you come over here with your husband? It’s a little bit better than sleeping with scorpions.” Harm nodded at the empty space beside him. Sometimes Mac was such a Marine. There was no way a search team would be looking for them at this hour of the night. It was highly unlikely anyone would be making any efforts to find them until morning light.

After a moment’s hesitation, Mac snuggled comfortably into Harm’s embrace, her heart skipping a beat when his long leg flung itself over hers. Years ago that had sent a thrill up her spine that had taken bombs exploding around them to diminish.

She was hopeful that event would be at least one thing she could completely avoid. It had been nearly impossible to recognize the terrain on foot, but Mac had made it a point to walk a slightly different path than they had the first time. Surely they’d walked far enough away from the hot zone.

Trying not to linger on the doubt, at least she could thoroughly enjoy her husband’s warmth.

“How’s this?” Harm asked, his voice lower than she remembered.

“Nice,” Mac whispered back.

“Do you hear that?”

“I don’t hear anything.”

“Exactly. There aren’t many places left in the US where you hear absolutely nothing.”

Mac burrowed her head closer to her husband.

“This is almost perfect,” Harm’s lips barely kissed Mac’s temple.

“Almost?” Mac couldn’t help the grin that erupted at the feel of his warm lips against her skin. It felt like it had been years, not days, since she’d last felt his touch.

“Well, I could think of a few other places I’d rather be than in the desert, in uniform, surrounded by crawling things.” Feeling a rise of sensations he’d been forced to ignore since they’d arrived, Harm couldn’t resist letting his lips trail softly down Mac’s cheek. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“And I you.” Mac’s eyes fell shut at the soft feel of his lingering lips. She really had missed him. Having him so close, yet off limits, was worse than the week she’d spent on the Seahawk while Harm had been in DC.

“Oh, Mac.” Unable to resist the feel of his wife molded curvaceously against him, Harm’s fingers crawled up her shirt, dipping tenderly at her collar, teasing the soft, sweaty flesh just beneath her collar bone.

“Harm, we can’t.” Mac’s heart was already beating at twice its normal rate. Her breath was coming in short gasps as his lean fingers, tugging firmly against the stretchy collar, diligently traced a slow feathery line across the lacey edges of her bra.

“I need you, Mac. I came closer today than I’d ever thought possible to never seeing you again. Never holding you in my arms, never feeling your body quiver around mine. I love you so much.” His lips crashed firmly around hers, pulling her even closer against his already aching body.

What harm could there be? After all, they were married, and they did need to stay warm to survive the bitter Afghani night. No one would find them before daylight. He felt so good, so hard, so strong. She’d been so scared she would never see him again, that she would have to raise their son without him.

“I love you,” Mac managed to mumble between kisses, rolling herself over her husband, straddling him with every inch of her body. She needed this man in her life, like she needed the air that she breathed.

Rolling over again, Harm couldn’t hold back the almost primal groan that surged from deep in his belly when he felt Mac’s fingers brush against him. Almost frenzied with need at her light touch, he was slow to react when he felt Mac suddenly stiffen in his arms.

“Mac? Are you okay?”

“Shh, listen.” Mac’s heart was racing tenfold and it had nothing to do with being wrapped intimately against her husband. “Do you hear…”

She didn’t get the chance to finish her sentence when the bombs starting dropping, closer than the ones had before.

Springing up at the speed of light, Harm grabbed Mac’s hand and scrambled for the nearest cover. Only a few yards away were some large boulders leading the way to one of the many caves that lined the Afghan terrain. They’d stayed in the clearing to avoid the scorpions and other creepy things that could create bedlam in the night, but now poisonous critters seemed to be the least of their problems.

“Ma’am? Ma’am,” the young man called a little louder.

The young corporal’s voice snapped Mac back to the present.

“Oh, sorry, Corporal. What did you say?” She couldn’t shake the vivid memory. The bombs had seemed so much closer this time, and yet they had still managed to escape with only a few minor abrasions.

“Will that be all ma’am?” the confused Corporal repeated.

“Oh, yes. Thank you.” Smiling sweetly at the young kid, Mac turned on her heel and started back to her own tent. She couldn’t do this anymore. Dream or no dream, this had to stop.

Chapter 18

Bridge of the Seahawk

“I’m glad to hear you and the Commander were cleared by sickbay, ma’am,” Bud commented, more concerned with the idea of Harm flying pursuit of the dirty nuke.

“Thanks, Bud. I have to admit, the possibilities gave us something to think about.” Mac stared intently out the windows. The ship was in general quarters. Battle stations were manned. There was no point to taking nuclear precautions if the bomb detonated anywhere within ten miles. As the Captain had so eloquently put it, everyone below and above deck would be dead.

For the third time in as many days, she or Harm were within inches of leaving their son an orphan. The only thing keeping her sane was the fragile hope that this last escapade would result in the same positive outcome as their lives long ago. She didn’t dare allow herself to think otherwise.

The announcement came over the loudspeaker – he would be passing on the port side. All eyes followed as Harm whizzed by, the nuke right on his six, the other pilot not far behind. Listening to the communication in the cockpit, the hairs on the back of Mac’s neck stood straight up. How could he still be so cavalier? He had a wife and son to worry about and all he could do was joke that if it weren’t a heat sensored missile it would ruin their day. Until this very moment, when there didn’t appear to be a care in Harm’s world for her or even Mat, did Mac realize just what being a Navy pilot meant. There was nothing in this world except Harm, the sky, and his beloved Tomcat.

As the nuke ran out of fuel and slowly dove towards the horizon, every soul on the bridge held a collective breath. The proverbial pin drop could have been heard. When the risk of any explosion on contact was past, the cheering roar could have drowned out a Super Bowl crowd.

JAG office
Seahawk

“Congratulations, sir.” Bud slapped his one-time mentor on the back.

“I was told I could find my wife here.” Harm looked over Bud’s shoulder.

“Yes, sir.” Bud stepped aside, waving in Mac’s direction.

“Hi,” Mac practically breathed.

“Hey,” Harm glanced over his shoulder at Bud before locking his gaze on his wife. “Are you okay? You weren’t worried, were you?”

“ME? Nah.” There was no point in bringing up the fears she battled. She knew that on solid ground, or ship, she and Mat were the most important things in Harm’s life and he would never intentionally put himself at risk. Of course, it was the unintentional things she would have to learn to live with.

Noticing Mac looking over Harm’s shoulder at him, “Uh, hmm, I …uh...” Bud suddenly realized that the two senior officers might appreciate a moment alone. “I have to go to a ground breaking for a school in Gahzni,” Bud finally spit out before turning away.

“Hang on Bud. Collateral damage, especially with civilian casualties is part of what I’m supposed to be reporting on. Give me five to get into some BDUs and I’ll join you,” Harm shot over his shoulder, never moving his eyes from his wife’s powerful gaze.

Mac’s heart stopped. This wasn’t supposed to go this way. Harm wasn’t supposed to go with Bud. Now what? Maybe this dream was tempting fate, maybe she wasn’t supposed to have Harm and this was just a cruel joke. No, she couldn’t let herself think this way.

“Remember the antipersonnel mines. I’ve had enough excitement these past few days to last me a lifetime. PLEASE be careful. Please.” Her eyes pleaded even more strenuously than her words.

“I’ll just be waiting on deck, sir.” Bud nodded politely. Without waiting for a reply, he closed the door behind him.

“Please, Harm?” Mac repeated.

“I will. I promise.” Unable to resist, Harm leaned down and gave his wife a thoroughly quick kiss. “I’ll be back.”

Mac swallowed a deep breath, her eyes following her husband out the hatch. Without realizing it, she’d stepped closer to the doorway, keeping an eye on Harm until he turned the corner at the end of the hall.

Helo to Gahzni

“I understand you authorized the funds to rebuild,” Harm shouted at Bud.

“Yes, sir. The fragments at the site were definitely American.”

“And you’re sure it was from a recent air strike?”

“Does it really matter, sir?” Bud repeated the same words he’d used with Jen.

“No, Bud. I guess not.”

Keeping their eyes out the open doorway, when the helo touched down, Harm, Bud and Jen unlatched their restraints and quickly scrambled out of the whirling bird.

“It’s right down this road, sir.” Bud pointed straight ahead. “You can take a look around for yourself.”

“No need, Bud. I trust your judgment.” Harm scanned the horizon ahead. Most of what must have been the rubble from the original air strike had obviously been moved. He wondered if the large mound at the edge of the village wasn’t what was left of it.

“Hey. Isn’t that a mine field?” Bud stopped short.

“What?” Harm turned towards the direction his friend was looking.

“Out there. That little boy, he’s playing in a mine field.”

“Surely, they’ve already cleared the area, sir,” Jen added, concern clearly evident in her tone.

“No. Go get someone from the village. Now!” Bud darted towards the little boy.

“BUD!” Calling on his pilot’s reflexes, Harm shot his arm out and grabbed tightly ahold of Bud’s shoulder.

“Remember what Mac said? Getting yourself killed isn’t going to help that little boy,” Harm admonished.

“Sir, I can’t leave him out there.” Turning to the little boy. “Hey, buddy. Over here! Don’t move!”

“BUD!” Harm called out again, this time more firmly. “The kid is standing still. The last thing we need is to draw his attention and have him move towards us. Stay calm. We need him to stay still until an elder gets here who can communicate with him.”

“Yes, sir. Right.” Bud nodded submissively. “But what if he moves, sir?”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.” Harm was already praying Mac didn’t kill him if it came to him having to go in after the boy. Bud was right. They couldn’t leave him playing in a mine field. Princess Diana had spent too much time proclaiming the plight of war torn countries where forgotten mines left innocent children as mere fragments of their former selves. No, the threat was real.

“What’s taking Jen so long?” Bud asked, somewhat more relieved that the boy seemed content to stare at the two frightened soldiers. What had barely been two minutes, seemed like hours.

“Sirs,” Jen shouted, running towards them from the end of the road, a short gray haired man attempting to keep up.

Just then Harm glanced over at the little boy and spotted him about to sprint in the old man’s direction. “NO!” Harm shouted, raising one foot forward as Bud had done not five minutes ago.

“STOP!” Came a strong older voice.

Doing for his friend as his friend had done for him, Bud shot one arm out across Harm’s midsection, the other pointing at the older man shouting as he ran up the road.

In what seemed like a simultaneous flash, the little boy tore off in the opposite direction towards the village as the older man screamed up at Bud and Harm, “It’s okay. The mines have been cleared on the eastern side of the field. The boy knows the safe passage. Only the patch before you is still dangerous.”

Relieved when the little boy reached the road, Harm let out an enormous sigh as he looked at the stretch of minefield in front of him, “Mac would have killed me.”

“You and me both, sir,” Bud agreed, swallowing hard. “You and me both.”

Chapter 19

Rabb Home
Late June 2002

Mac had never been more thankful to sit in her own chair, in her own living room, in her own house, with her own husband, holding her own baby.

She and Harm had nearly had the closest thing to an all-out, blow-up fight on the flights home, but Mac had made up her mind. Now she just had to convince the Admiral the same way she’d convinced Harm.

Mac woke up this morning pretty much the same way she’d fallen asleep. Sprawled on the sofa, with Harm wrapped closely around her, and their son nuzzled snugly under her chin.

She didn’t want to leave this morning. At the moment, she was pretty darn sure she never wanted to leave the house again, but she knew that wasn’t very rational. Forcing herself to get up and move about, slowly, she and Harm fell into their usual morning routine of old, and within the hour all were on their way to their respective workplaces. Except, of course, for Mathew who would be spending his day at Kinder Kountry.

JAG HQ
0900 hours

“He’s ready to see you, Colonel,” Tiner pointed to the closed door.

“Thanks, Tiner.” Mac knocked lightly at the ominous wooden door.

“Enter.” Waiting for Mac to move closer to the desk, “At ease. You wanted to see me?”

“Yes, sir. I wanted to give you this.” Mac stretched her hand forth, a single sheet of paper held out to the Admiral.

“I was afraid something like this might happen.” He didn’t need to read it to know what it was, but he accepted the paper anyway. “You’re sure about this?” AJ asked, giving the page a cursory glance.

“Yes, sir. Very.”

“I heard there were some rough moments out there. You know, Colonel, just about any JAG lawyer would be willing to testify that what you’ve recently been through is about as frequent an occurrence as snowfall in Miami.”

“I know, sir. Commander Rabb and I have discussed this at length. Permission to speak freely, sir?”

“Of course, Mac.”

“Sir, I love the Marine Corps and all it’s done for me. I owe the Corps my life. But the days of Marine first and lawyer second are over. I’m more than a Marine, and I need to be home teaching a very beautiful little boy all the wonderful things there are in life, and maybe in the Marine Corps,” Mac smiled softly. “I need to be with him as much as he needs me. I want to enjoy my home, my family, my husband, and maybe someday my career, but until the day I die, I will from now on always be a mother first, Marine second, and a lawyer third, sir.”

“You realize this is going to take some time to process. I know you have time coming on the books….”

“That won’t be necessary, sir. I’m perfectly willing to finish out whatever time it takes to run this through the channels and fill the empty billet, sir.”

“Very well, Colonel. I’ll take care of it right away.” AJ nodded at Mac in a casual dismissal. At least she hadn’t given him another ‘spread my wings’ speech. Looking up after she’d closed the door behind her, he knew he was going to miss her. Things had never been quite the same after Rabb left. A certain fire was gone from the office. Of course, that could be because there wasn’t another attorney in his right mind with enough nerve to fire a weapon in a courtroom. With Mac gone too, things were definitely going to be different. Maybe it was time he considered moving on.

The next few months went smoothly. It had indeed taken over three months to process Mac’s out papers. Harm and the Admiral had tried to convince her to accept a reserve slot as an individual manning augmentee judge, but Mac wanted none of it. Even though there would always be the risk that she would be recalled while in inactive reserve, Mac wanted to fly as low as possible under the military’s radar. If it wasn’t required to be on inactive reserve for five years after resigning her commission, she would have preferred to not even do that. She was going to do her damnedest to make sure that her son would always have at least one parent around.

May 6th 2003
Rabb home
1730

All was going well in the Rabb household. Harm was keeping busy at the Pentagon and very thankful that none of his responsibilities this past year had required him to return to the Middle East. The longest jaunt since Afghanistan had been three days at MacDill.

Mac had fallen into the role of full-time mom with unexpected ease. Of course, almost being blown up in a minefield, then caught in an air strike, and then threatened by a nuclear missile, had an interesting way of making you appreciate the smallest things in life, in this case, a precocious sixteen month old boy. It boggled her mind why she had ever thought staying home would be boring.

Mac did manage to stay informed of all the comings and goings at JAG. Back in November, Harriet had reported that Lt. Singer had been caught having an affair with, of all people, Commander Lindsey. Apparently Singer had thought he was her back door to the SecNav. Unfortunately for Lauren, having a pregnancy diagnosed at your annual physical wasn’t part of her plan, and the new SecNav had little patience for Lindsey. When Lindsey tried to deflect the attention back on JAG, the newly appointed Secretary Sheffield threw Lindsey out on his proverbial ear. Oddly enough, Mrs. Lindsey divorced Ted, and adopted Lauren’s baby. Lauren requested a transfer. No one was sure where she had been sent, but the office pool was fairly certain it wasn’t Italy.

The other big surprise was Jen. Practically the moment she set foot on dry land, she and Sergei eloped. At first Harm had been concerned they were rushing things, but by the time Christmas had come and gone, he was convinced that those two were most definitely made for each other.

“Where do you think you’re off to now, young man?” Mac chased her son to the front door.

“Din don,” Mat announced proudly, landing against the door with a thud.

Pulling her son onto her hip, Mac couldn’t have been more startled by the man at the door if she’d had a visit from Elvis.

“What are you doing here?”

“Nice to see you too, Sarah. Going to invite me in or are you just going to stand there gaping at me like a fish?”

“Sorry, Clay. Come on in.” Slowly, Mac closed the door behind her. She and Harm hadn’t seen or heard from Webb since last year in Afghanistan. The hackles on the back of her neck warned her that whatever he wanted, it couldn’t be good.

Rabb home
One hour later

Harm pulled into the driveway. Who did they know that drove a silver Jaguar? Pulling his briefcase from the passenger seat, Harm walked towards the front door, curiously eyeing the out of place automobile.

Turning the key in the lock, Harm was struck by the loudness of Mac’s voice as he swung the door open.

“Paraguay! Are you out of your mind? First of all, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m not pregnant!”

Harm’s eyes almost popped out of his head. What was she yelling about? Dropping his satchel where he stood instead of placing it in its usual place on the table across the entryway, Harm hurried into the living room in three long strides.

“Secondly, I’m not a spook! Hell, technically, I’m not even a Marine anymore!”

“Once a Marine, always a Marine.” Webb shrugged nonchalantly.

Without knowing what Webb had previously suggested to have invoked Mac’s wrath complete with fury and spitfire, even Harm knew Webb’s last comment was probably the most foolish thing to have said to an obviously already irate Marine. Before Harm could get within grabbing distance of her, Mac slugged Webb so hard that he flipped over the back of the sofa and landed flat on his back.

“What are you, taking lessons from AJ?” Webb held his hand up to his now bleeding nose.

“Boo boo?” Mat asked from his playpen across the room.

“Yes, Mathew.” Hiding an amused smirk, Harm walked over to retrieve his son, deciding that whatever was going on, Mac was not in need of his assistance.

Chapter 20

Admiral Chegwidden’s home
September 2003

“You really have no idea what this is all about?” Harm asked as they pulled into the driveway.

“No. If Jen has any idea, she’s not telling, and Harriet and Bud are as much in the dark as the rest of us,” Mac shrugged.

“This reminds me of the first time the Admiral invited us to an informal dinner at his home. Remember?” Harm held out his hand to help Mac from the car.

“How could I forget? Francesca.” She wasn’t even going to mention the havoc Coster had created in her life at that time.

“You don’t suppose this has something to do with Francesca again?”

“Why would you think that?” Mac followed Harm up the porch steps.

“Well, he’s only had two real parties that we’ve been invited to. One was to introduce us to his daughter, and the other was an engagement party for Carolyn and Mic.” Harm knocked lightly at the door.

“Yeah, but we knew about the engagement. As a matter of…” Mac froze mid sentence when the door opened.

“Come in,” the sultry, accented voice directed.

“What a pleasure to see you again,” Harm offered.

“Yes.” Mac nodded, still overcome with shock to find Marcella Paretti standing at the Admiral’s door.

“It is always nice to see AJ’s good friends. Please, come in.” Marcella stepped out of the way, ready to close the door behind them, when she saw Bud and Harriet coming up the walk. “Please go ahead. I’m sure AJ will get you something to drink,” Marcella waved at Harm and Mac while waiting for the next wave of guests.

“Well, you were right about the surprise part,” Mac leaned over and whispered out of the side of her mouth at Harm. Neither of them had heard anything further about Marcella Paretti since her return to Italy shortly after Mic and Carolyn’s engagement party.

“Something tells me the surprises have only just begun,” Harm chuckled quietly, walking over to where Jen and Sergei were standing.

“So, was Mrs. Paretti the surprise?” Harm looked Jen straight in the eye.

“I could only think so, sir.” Jen answered, shrugging one shoulder.

“Jen. It’s been almost a year since you married my brother. You know the drill, out of uniform it’s Harm. What are you going to do, have junior there learn to call me ‘Uncle Sir’?” Harm lightly laid his hand on Jen’s slightly rounded tummy.

“No, sir. I mean, Harm,” Jen giggled. Just into her fourth month, this was her first time in public with maternity clothes.

“You’re looking lovely,” Mac added.

“Well, of course. My brother and I have excellent taste. Only the most beautiful women in the world for us.” Sergei squeezed his hold on Jen’s shoulder.

“Ladies and gentlemen, if I could have your attention please.” Admiral Chegwidden stood to one end of the room. All eyes turned to him.

“I’m aware of all the speculation regarding this evening’s little gathering. I’ve heard many theories. All very interesting, and all correct.” AJ smiled at the dull hum that filled the room.

“I have decided the time has come for me to retire.” Raising his hands to quiet the louder buzz that ensued. “Please. A confluence of many things has led to my decision, but let me be clear; I am not leaving anything. I am completing one experience, and starting another.” AJ looked around at all the quietly stunned faces.

“Specifically, this summer, the one true love of my life has agreed to be my wife, again.” Extending his hand in Marcella’s direction, AJ drew her into him, affectionately clutching her shoulder. “And you’re all invited.”

“Here, here!” The room roared with congratulations. One by one, all the guests made their way to the smiling couple, the pain of AJ’s impending departure lessened only by the happier news of the upcoming wedding.

“It looks like we get both an engagement and a surprise,” Harm whispered in Mac’s direction.

“I guess Francesca knew what she was doing in Naples,” Mac chuckled softly.

“I didn’t want to say this in public,” AJ’s voice echoed over Jen’s shoulder, as the small group shifted to make room for him and Marcella.

“But I’ve already delivered two babies in that office and I’m just not up to a third,” AJ laughed whole heartedly.

“No, sir. I’m not sure I’d be up to it either, sir,” Jen grinned bashfully.

“Colonel, I understand you’re involved with some very worthwhile volunteer work?” AJ looked over at Mac, eager to redirect the evening’s topic of conversation away from himself.

“Yes, sir. With Mat in mother’s day out three days a week, it gives me a little extra time. I’ve been helping and advising over at the battered women’s shelter.”

“A very worthwhile cause,” Carolyn Brumby commented, joining the group. “Maybe I could find a way to help too.”

“I’m sure they’d be delighted. I don’t really have much time, but I thought whatever I could do to save any woman from the Joe MacKenzies of this world had to be a good thing.”

December 2004

Throwing all the packages into the back of the SUV, Mac shook her head. Life was certainly taking an interesting turn from its original course. Settling comfortably into the front seat, she considered her recent Christmas list, and all the people that had come and gone in her life.

She had not seen hide nor hair of her older self since that odd conversation on the carrier after the tribunal. Not since that odd conversation about choices and opportunities. Perhaps that was adding to the more frequently nagging sense that things were coming to an end. Time seemed to be passing by faster and faster. It had been too long since she’d seen the old general. The birth of Emily Zhukov was already a distant memory, as was the Admiral and Marcella’s wedding at Annapolis in May.

Turning the key in the ignition, she pondered what it was in all worlds that attracted her and Harm to porches. There had been no need for serious discussions about death and disease at the Admiral’s reception. Heck, Webb had even come to the wedding with a tall, slender blonde who only spoke German. No, despite the pleasant circumstances, she and Harm spent an unusual amount of time sitting side by side on the porch, not really talking about anything, just enjoying being there together.

Pulling cautiously out of the parking lot, Mac was very thankful she’d had the good sense to leave Mat at home with Harm while she finished her last minute shopping. The snow storm had really started to come down now, making driving home a challenge.

Focusing on the road ahead, Mac tried to ignore the urge to race home. An odd feeling of needing to hurry back to her waiting family had been tugging at her most of the day. In an attempt to shake the overwhelming sense of urgency to rush home to her family, as though for some odd reason her family needed her more now than ever, she started running the plans for the evening through her mind.

Sergei and Jen were joining them for dinner, and then they would all be joining the Roberts for dessert before making the trip to visit Harm’s dad at the wall. If this weather kept up, they wouldn’t be able to take the children with them.

Flipping her phone open, Mac hit speed dial for Harm’s number.

“Rabb.”

“Hey, handsome,”

“Mac. Where are you? The roads are starting to get treacherous. Want me to come get you?”

“In what? The ‘vette? You know my vehicle is better equipped for snow. No, I’m on my way anyhow, I just need you to do me a favor.”

“Name it.”

“Get the roast out of the fridge. It’s been marinating overnight and should be ready to go. Set it to slow cook at 250. That should get things started until….” Mac’s jaw dropped as the wiper blade swiped away a layer of snow and an enormous tree appeared out of nowhere in the middle of the road.

“What the hell?” slipped out.

“Mac!” Harm cringed at the brief sound of screeching tires and bending metal before the profound silence of the dead phone hung thick in his ear.

Chapter 21

Everything was so dark. She hadn’t remembered ever actually sleeping in this eternal dream, and now she was having a hard time cutting through the fog to open her eyes. Was that a voice?

“Mac? Can you hear me?”

That was definitely a voice, Harm’s, and he sounded worried. That’s right, the tree. She was on the phone with Harm when she hit the tree. Why were her eyelids so heavy? Forcing her eyes open just the slightest bit, Mac squinted quickly at the harsh light.

“Mac. Please wake up.” Harm squeezed her hand. He’d been sitting here for days waiting for her to stir.

“Harrrmmm,” she smiled weakly.

“Hey, beautiful. You had us all worried.”

“Sorry. Didn’t see the tree.” Mac dropped her eyes shut again, not noticing the disturbed glare Harm shot the doctor, nor the doctor’s casual shrug in response.

“Is it too bright? Want me to close the curtains?” Harm didn’t wait for her to answer. He quickly scurried around the bed and closed the blinds and the drapes. “That better?” he asked from the window.

“Mm,” Mac nodded. “I’m sorry about the car,” she mumbled.

“What about the car?” Harm was trying very hard not to let her obvious confusion worry him.

Opening one eye, she watched Harm return to his previous place, and gently take her hand in his again. She also noticed a woman in a white coat at the foot of her bed holding her chart.

Forcing her other eye open, Mac had to blink a few times. She thought for sure her eyes were deceiving her. After all this time, her elder self was back, only this time instead of just observing, she was actually participating in Mac’s life, her nose buried in the charts, scribbling frantically.

“So we’re out of the woods?” Harm asked the doctor, obviously relieved now that Mac had opened her eyes.

“Looks like it. From here on it should be smooth sailing,” the woman directed at Harm, still writing copiously.

“You can see her?” Mac turned to Harm stunned.

“Of course I can see her? What are you talking about?” Harm turned back to the doctor, a near panicked look on his face.

“Relax, Captain. A little disorientation when waking up isn’t unusual.” Walking up to the side of the bed, the doctor extended her hand to Mac’s non-IV clad arm.

Mac lay open-mouthed, staring at the woman. What was her older self doing talking to real people?

“Mac, are you feeling okay?” Harm put his free hand on Mac’s forehead.

Momentarily forgetting her confusion at the old general’s very public presence, Mac managed to turn a sharp glare in Harm’s direction.

“How would you feel after plowing into a tree?”

“What are you talking about?” Harm was failing miserably at hiding his concern.

“The accident.” Mac turned from Harm to the old woman and back again.

“There wasn’t any accident. You wouldn’t wake up so Mat called Harriet and 911. Harriet called me, but I was already on my way back from Pax River. My quals ended early and I was in a hurry to get home.”

“That’s impossible. Mat’s only three. He doesn’t know how to call Harriet.” Mac was suddenly developing a throbbing headache.

“Three? Mac, Mat’s six.” Harm looked up at the doctor, his eyes searching hers for answers.

“Tell me, who’s the president of the United States?” the doctor asked Mac, a slow dip in her brow forming.

“Oh for heaven’s sake. George Bush. I’m not crazy.”

“What’s today’s date?” was her next question.

“December 24, 2004.” Mac’s frustration at the stupid questions turned to distress at the curious look Harm gave her.

“Honey, it’s 2007, and it’s April. Not December,” Harm told her softly.

“Then I’m awake? The dream is over?” Mac’s voice cracked ever so slightly. Dropping her head heavily on the pillow, she closed her eyes tightly, holding back the tears that threatened to overflow. She knew it was bound to happen. Eventually she would have to wake up and face a reality without the baby, the house, or the husband. They’d soon be nothing more than a faded dream. Wait, her mind did a double take. Opening her eyes suddenly, she turned in Harm's direction. Did he say Mat was six?

“What’s the last thing you remember?” The doctor asked, her face showing more concern than she had only moments ago.

“Well, in my dream I was shopping Christmas Eve. Harm was home with Mat, and on the way home, I drove into a tree.”

“That was three years ago, Mac. You walked away sore and bruised.”

“What do you mean three years ago?” If her dream was over, why did she have a six year old son, and what was her older self still doing here? And if the dream wasn't over, what happened to the last three years?

“What was the last thing you remember before falling asleep?” the doctor interrupted.

“Oh. I was folding laundry, and watching an old movie. I was exhausted from watching the Roberts’ twins…”

“You should have known better than to take on too much, Mrs. Rabb. You’re doctor’s report says this has been a high-risk pregnancy for you. Women who are eight months pregnant in your condition and at your age aren’t supposed to be running around after her own children, never mind taking on two more. It’s no wonder your blood pressure shot up.”

“Eight months pregnant?” Mac’s eyes were wide open now.

“You went into shock. They did an emergency c-section, but you’ve been unconscious for almost three days,” Harm explained.

“And the baby?” Mac was extremely confused.

“Fine.” Harm’s smile grew bright for the first time since Mac had woken up. “Eight pounds, five ounces. She’s beautiful.”

Mac batted her eyes a few times. She was desperate to clear the thick fog that was crowding her brain. Slowly, it was starting to come back to her. The tests after the accident three years ago showed she was pregnant with their second child, Thomas. Harm’s stint at the Pentagon paid off, he’d gotten noticed by the right mucky mucks and his next assignment was Squadron Commander on a carrier. Last spring he’d made Captain. She’d been on bed rest the better part of the last seven months because of a high risk….

“Oh, God. Where is she?” Mac’s voice came out in a slight panic. “Is she okay? She’s early.”

“Shh shh, it’s okay. She’s fine. The nurse brings her in here whenever she’s awake. We’ve been getting acquainted while you’ve been recovering,” Harm reassured her.

“Harm. My dream wasn’t a dream. It was my life flashing before my eyes.”

“Mac, that cliché only happens when you’re awake. Not when you’re in a semi-comatose state.”

“Bud does still have his leg?”

“What?” Harm curled his brow in confusion. Why wouldn’t Bud have his leg?

“Sarah Roberts, she didn’t die did she?” Mac’s voice was bordering on panic and elation.

“Of course she didn’t die.” Harm was seriously considering ignoring the doctor and calling in a psychiatrist. Something wasn’t right.

“Then I’m right. My life flashed before me. In very VIVID, BRIGHT, DETAIL,” Mac enunciated.

“The only thing I don’t get…” Mac turned and pointed her finger at the doctor. “Is you.”

“Yes, well. I’m sorry. I should have introduced myself. I’m General McKenzie, Susan McKenzie. As you can see, we have at least two things in common, except I spell my name MCK, no A.”

Mac’s eyes flew open even wider than before. “S. McKenzie,” she repeated quietly.

“That’s right,” Dr. McKenzie smiled.

“You should feel honored Mac. Dr. McKenzie here is the only doctor in the entire Corps,” Harm announced, almost proudly.

“That’s right. Marines don’t have doctors. How…?” Mac looked back at the doctor.

“Long story,” Dr Mckenzie laughed. I’ll fill you in on all the gritty little details when you’ve had a little more rest.”

“Rest? You said I’ve been sleeping for three days. I don’t want to rest. I want to see my children,” Mac insisted.

“Yes, but that was different. You need to get some rest and I’m sure Captain Rabb will be happy to bring the children by for you to see later.”

Mac nodded in reluctant agreement before looking at the doctor thoughtfully, “If you’ll excuse my forwardness, you could be me in twenty years.”

“I know,” Dr Mckenzie smiled proudly. “Your husband said the exact same thing to me the first day you came in. He even told you so before you went into surgery. He’d hoped you could hear him. Said it was a good sign that your older alter ego was in charge.”

Now everything was making perfect sense. Except…

“Harm,” Mac turned from the friendly doctor and looked over at her husband.

“Yes.”

“If I hadn’t gone after you in the elevator your last day at JAG, would you have come after me?

“Of course, Mac.” Harm flashed his best ‘dress whites and gold wings’ smile. That was one road he had no intention of going down. “You know I would have.” Eventually, he thought to himself.

“Mm,” Mac smiled back. I wonder??????

THE END.

Return to CLK's Fanfiction